Grave Little Secrets

by Collins, Stacy R.

  “Can we just skip all this and get to the part where you tell me who Lee really is?” I interrupt him, puffing out a frazzled breath. I already know all this. Hell, I lived it. I don’t need to be reminded of it.

  “I’m getting there, I promise, but I want to make sure you have all the information.”

  “Fine, just hurry up.” I’m starting to get really irritated with this whole thing and I just want to know who this supposed Lee person is.

  “Well, he called that night and said that you had gone to visit your father, so we needed to get the plan in motion before it was too late. He wanted me to meet him a block from your house the next day, but as I was getting ready to leave this morning he called and said you were gone. The plan had to be placed on hold. He said you were headed to Hilldale, but that as soon as you returned we would make our move. I asked him how he knew where you were, and that’s when he made his first mistake. He said his mom told him and she was freaking out about it.”

  “Why would his mom care about where I am?” I ask him, looking toward Jake. His eyes are like saucers and he’s gripping the steering like he’s scared it’s going to jump off the dash and run away. Sweat beads line his upper lip and his right eye keeps twitching. I should ask him what’s wrong, I should probably be concerned, but I don’t want to delay finding out who my stalker is. I place my hand on his, hoping to calm him. He takes his hand from the steering wheel and places it on top of mine, but his eyes never move to look at me.

  “I wondered the same thing but didn’t ask.” Tyler—Jeffrey, whatever his name is—breaks through my thoughts. “Instead, I headed over to your house. I didn’t know if he was lying to me, and I was afraid he was going to do something to you. I just wanted to put a stop to it before he took it too far. On the way to your house, Luke stopped me. He said your sister had told him you were freaking out thinking I was following you around. He wanted to know what my problem was. So, I told him everything.”

  My mind is reeling. It’s like an information overload and I can’t process it all. I wouldn’t be surprised if smoke were boiling from my ears.

  “Luke decided to go with me to your house. We were going to fill Anna in, hoping she would know where you were and what to do. I needed to protect you, but when we got to your street and started up your drive, your mom walked out with Lee. That was when I realized who he really was.”

  Yes, this is it. I’m about to find out who the psycho is and I can finally put a stop to all the madness. I hold my breath.

  “It’s your brother.”

  Anger flares inside of me like a lit match. Boiling heat rises into my cheeks and a wave of nausea crashes over me. I have to swallow a few times before I’m able to speak.

  “My brother’s name is Zack, not Lee.” My voice comes out strong, fueled by my ravaging emotions. “And there’s no way my brother would do everything that you’re claiming he did. Plus, he doesn’t know the truth about the accident.” I’m yelling at the top of my lungs. How dare he try to pin this on my brother? I am shaking with fury and I want nothing more than to wrap my fingers around Jeffrey’s throat and squeeze until his eyes bulge out of their sockets and he is begging for air.

  “I know you don’t believe me, but there’s still more you don’t know.”

  Jake grabs my hand, painfully, and brings the phone to his mouth. “Look, man,” he yells, “we know you’re lying, so either give it up and confess or we are done with this conversation!”

  “Please just give me a few more minutes. That’s all I ask, and then you never have to speak to me again if that’s what you want.”

  “Jake, let’s just hear him out and then be done with it, okay?” I whisper so only he can hear.

  Jake huffs out a breath and rubs his hands over his head before slamming them on the steering wheel. “This is crazy, Alex! Please don’t tell me you believe this nonsense. Just hang up. This is all bullshit. He’s just trying to cover his tracks by blaming your brother.”

  I cover the phone, hoping Jeffrey doesn’t hear. “I know it’s all nonsense, but maybe, somehow, this will help me put an end to everything.” I give his hand a squeeze and tell Jeffrey to continue.

  “Well, Luke and I decided to confront your brother. We cornered him outside your house after your mom went into the garage. He knew he had been caught, and he could no longer deny who he really was. The three of us walked to the park and that’s when he told us the truth.

  “He said that he was snooping in your room before you guys moved and came across your diary. He said he read it hoping to find some juicy details he could use to his advantage, and he hit the jackpot.

  I knew I shouldn’t have written about that day, but I was so consumed with grief, I had to do something. I had to get the feelings out before they ate me alive. How could I have been so stupid? And how did he even find it? I had it hidden under a loose floorboard below my bed, where I was sure no one would find it.

  “He decided not to tell anyone and, at first, he was just going to confront you about it, but every time he thought about it he got angrier. He feels you ruined his life. You took away his dad, his home, his friends. I told him I understood and I was still willing to help him. Luke agreed to join us. Zack said he would contact us both later with instructions, but Luke and I knew we couldn’t wait, not after he made it clear that he wanted you to suffer and pay for what you did to his dad. He said he has a guy in Hilldale keeping tabs on you. He wouldn’t tell us who it is, but Luke and I knew we needed to come find you. We had no idea what kind of trouble you might be in. I had Luke deliver my letter while I made arrangements to come home early. We decided that Luke would meet me at my house later. It was definitely a surprise when I walked in and saw you in my living room. I wanted to tell you everything right then, but I couldn’t, not with my family there. I was in the middle of telling Luke you showed up at my house under a disguise when you called him. I didn’t expect you to get the letter until you got back home. Luke and I are actually headed back to New Hope now.”

  I’m still trying to sort through all this rubbish when I hear a phone ringing. It’s not my ringtone, but I check my phone anyway; it’s not mine. I look toward Jake, questioningly.

  “It’s not my phone, you’re on it,” he tells me, his face red and his nostrils flaring. What is going on with him? I wonder, but don’t ask. I have more pressing issues to deal with right now.

  “Then where’s the ringing coming from?” I ask, looking around the truck, but the ringing has stopped.

  “I don’t know…maybe Tori or one of the guys from the team left their phone in here. I’ll look for it later.” Jake shrugs, dismissively, and then I hear it again, the ringing, only this time it’s coming through the phone.

  “Zack’s calling now,” Jeffrey says.

  I squeeze my eyes shut and curse under my breath.

  “Be quiet and I’ll put it on speaker phone so you can hear.”

  “Okay, we’ll be quiet,” I say sarcastically. Zack being behind the threats is just unthinkable, so whatever game Jeffrey is playing is about to end. This is utter nonsense. There’s no way it could be Zack. He was fine yesterday when we visited Dad. He was upset, and wouldn’t talk to me, but that’s understandable. We were all upset. Jeffrey is crazy if he thinks I’m going to believe him. Shuffling noises spread over the line and then I hear Jeffrey greet the caller.

  Jake tightens his grip on my hand and I have to wiggle my fingers to get him to loosen up. I look up at him to give him a reassuring smile, but the expression covering his face almost puts me in a state of panic. He’s sweating profusely, the wet beads gathering at his hairline are running down his face, he’s gritting his teeth, and the twitching in his right eye has increased. I’ve only ever seen that look on his face once before. I was waiting for him after practice and one of his teammates came out before him and started coming on to me. Jake walked out of the locker room and lost
it. I’m about to ask him if he’s okay when another male voice seeps into my ears. My heart begins to beat so hard I’m afraid it’s going to burst right out of my chest and land against the dashboard. My breathing has become spasmodic and I can’t seem to fill my lungs. I am in the full throes of a panic attack. I try in vain to calm myself down, counting to ten, focusing on my breaths, going to my happy place, but it’s useless. I lean back, dig my nails into the seat, close my eyes and focus on the voice. The voice that I would recognize anywhere.

  Zack.

  “I’M HAVING TROULE GETTING IN touch with my person in Hilldale, so we’re just gonna have to continue without him.” I hear Zack speaking, his voice sounding strong and powerful, nothing like the teenage Zack I’m used to hearing.

  My head is starting to pound with all this information and the confirmation that all the threats were, indeed, coming from my brother. Why didn’t he just come to me? I could have explained everything to him. I could have made him realize how horrible I felt about the whole thing.

  I’m knocked back to the present when I hear Jeffrey’s voice responding to Zack.

  “How will we know when to be ready if you can’t reach your guy? Isn’t he supposed to let us know when to expect her?” Jeffrey asks Zack.

  “He’s probably just occupied with her. She can be so demanding; she’s probably got him running all kinds of errands or something. He was supposed to convince her to stay the night and said he would have her on her way by nine in the morning. If she actually does what he tells her to, then she should be here around one or two tomorrow afternoon, so we need to have everything in place by noon.”

  What? I think to myself. There’s no one in Hilldale who could talk me into staying the night. No one except….

  Oh, God, no, it can’t be.

  I turn in my seat to look at Jake, my eyes wide with alarm as he reaches over and starts the truck. He eyes no longer show the love and warmth I’ve become accustomed to. No, those are the eyes of a stranger. A chill snakes its way across my skin. I swallow loudly as my throat threatens to close. Tears pool in my eyes, blurring my vision and I feel like a wrecking ball just slammed painfully into my chest. Not only did my brother betray me, but the one person I imagined spending the rest of my life with has been playing me, too. My heart couldn’t hurt worse if someone were using an ice pick to slowly and meticulously dig it out of my chest.

  I slide over to the passenger side in an attempt to escape, but Jake grabs me and holds me around my waist, preventing me from moving. His grip is strong, painful, and unrelenting. I start to panic, and then I remember the phone is still on.

  “It’s Jake! He has me!” I scream. “We’re near your house. Help!”

  “You stupid bitch!” Jake snatches his phone out of my hand and throws it out of the window. He yanks the steering wheel, making the tires squeal as he pulls away from the curb. His entire body is vibrating with pent up anger. Anger that is aimed at me—something I’ve never experienced before and never imagined I would, at least not from Jake. I have never seen Jake so mad, so full of fury.

  “You never could just leave stuff alone. You had to go digging around, and now you’ve screwed up everything. For being one of the smartest girls in school, you can be really stupid sometimes.”

  “What are you talking about, Jake? What is going on? Where are you tak…?” Ringing fills the cab, the same tone I heard earlier, interrupting my questions. Jake riffles around in the glove box and pulls out a disposable phone, just like the one Jeffrey delivered to my house.

  “Yeah,” Jake says into the phone.

  I can’t hear the other person but I suspect it’s Zack.

  “Yeah, I have her. Yeah, I know what happened. Your little sidekicks played you. They were never helping you. They just agreed to it so they could be in on the plan and protect Alex.” Jake is silent for a few minutes, listening to Zack. “Okay, I’ll call you when we get close.” Jake hangs up and tosses the phone back into the glove box. “Give me your phone,” he says.

  I hesitate, not wanting to give up my only lifeline, my only chance at reaching out for help.

  “Give me your fucking phone, Alex!” he yells, his strong voice bouncing around the cab of the truck.

  I jump, startled at his volume. I try to hand him my phone, but my hands are shaking so badly I drop it on the floor of the truck. He hits the brakes, and with the hand not gripping me, he plants his hand on the back of my head and shoves me forward, roughly, so I can retrieve it. I grab my phone with both hands, squeezing it tightly, and slowly hand it to him. I watch in silence as he removes the SIM card and throws it out the window. He then tosses my phone into the glove box along with his disposable one. He takes off again, as I sit in stunned horror.

  “Jake, why are you doing this?” I ask between sobs. “I don’t understand. What happened to you?”

  “Why? Because you’re a spoiled little brat who always gets away with everything. But not now. You’re gonna pay this time.”

  “What are you talking about, Jake?” The deafening sound of my galloping heart makes it hard to concentrate on his words.

  “Well, let’s see,” he says, rubbing his slightly stubbly chin. “Remember that time a bunch of us broke into the stadium? Yeah, I know you remember.” Jake smiles deviously at me. “I made sure you got out of there when we found out the alarm had been triggered, and I took the fall. I made sure no one mentioned that you were there. I had to sit out four games that season.” Jake speeds down the road, one hand on the wheel, the other wrapped, painfully, around my upper arm. His eyebrows are scrunched up in concentration, forming a tight V. Or is it anger? Whatever it is, it’s disturbing. “And let’s not forget the time I snuck out of my house at two in the morning because you and Anna had a huge fight and you needed someone to talk to. I got grounded for a month, but were you the least bit concerned about that? Of course not, as long as you got what you wanted you were happy and no one else mattered!”

  “Jake, that’s not true.” Oh, my God, what is happening here? My mind can’t keep up. None of this makes sense. This can’t be real.

  Jake continues his rant, his voice vibrating with anger, bringing me out of my thoughts and reminding that this is indeed real. “And then, after the accident, I was so busy being worried about you, how you were holding up, how people were treating you, what was going to happen to your dad….” He slides his hand down my arm, squeezing tightly, till he reaches my wrist. I can feel my bones grating against each other as he applies more pressure. “I was so caught up with worrying about you that I couldn’t focus on anything. My grades started to drop and I couldn’t keep up during football drills. I got kicked off the team and lost any chance I had at getting a scholarship and playing college ball. Then I find out from the guys on the team that you were dating some asshole from Langston High behind my back. And to top it all off, I find out from Zack that it was actually you who caused the wreck and that you convinced your poor dad to take all the blame. I realized then what a selfish, conniving little bitch you are.”

  My arm is numb, but his grip just keeps getting stronger and more painful with every word that comes out of his mouth. “I wanted nothing else to do with you, but Zack convinced me that you needed to pay for what you had done, and I couldn’t have agreed more. I wanted you to suffer for ruining my life. You took away any chance I had at going to a decent college. Now I get to stay in this dumpy town and get a shitty job, because my family can’t afford to send me to college, not without a scholarship. So, Zack and I came up with a plan, and it was going just fine until your boyfriend and that piece of shit, Jeffrey, went and fucked everything up.” Jake smacks the steering wheel and the car jerks slightly to the left. He has to loosen his hold on me to regain control.

  I take advantage of his distraction and scramble toward the passenger door, but he grabs me again, and jerks me back. There will definitely be a bruise later.

>   “Jake, I didn’t make you do any of that stuff, and I definitely didn’t make my dad take the blame for me. That was all his idea. I tried talking him out of it, but he wouldn’t listen.” My voice is full off terror and pleading. “And you know I would never cheat on you, Jake. I loved you! You were all I ever wanted. I would never have done something that would jeopardize what we had.”

  “Please, Alex, you don’t care who gets in trouble as long as it isn’t you. Hell, you’re going out to restaurants, hanging out with guys in pool halls, and making out in public. You freaking killed someone, Alex! And you don’t even give a shit. You just skate by and go on with your life as if nothing happened. People’s lives were ruined because of you and you couldn’t care less.”

  “I do too care! That was the first time I had been out since it all happened. And I wasn’t making out with anyone,” I lie, clinging to the hope that I can get through to him.

  Jake slams on the brakes, bringing us to a stop in the middle of the road. He twists around to face me, his eyes blazing with fury. He brings his hands up to cup my cheeks the way he used to when we were dating, but this time, instead of sending sparks of desire throughout my body, it sends chills of terror. I recoil from his touch, and he laughs, a glimmer of excitement coming to life in his eyes. He slides one hand down to my neck while the other goes to my waist. He wraps his strong fingers firmly around my throat. I try to slide away, but it’s worthless for me to even try. He has made it impossible for me to move, and even more difficult to breathe.

  “I should do it right now. I should just end you right here.” His voice is a low rumble as his hand tightens even more, cutting off all my air supply.

  I claw violently at his arm, trying desperately to free myself. He laughs at my futile attempts, his eyes scorching into mine. My lungs are burning, needing to be filled, but not finding any relief. I feel the darkness creeping up on me. I have to fight against it. I can’t let myself succumb to the darkness threatening to consume me. There’s no use, his grip is too strong. He’s really going to do it. He’s going to kill me.