Redheads are Soulless

by Redheads are Soulless (epub)

  My favorite song came on the radio, and I started dancing. Robbie laughed at my incredibly awful moves. It felt amazing to just laugh and have fun. It made me forget all the bad stuff that has been happening to me.

  “You are crazy,” he joked.

  “Crazy,” I agreed, “but fun.”

  “You are a lot of fun,” he emphasized the words “a lot”.

  “You’re just saying that because you like to kiss me.”

  He smiled. “You’re right.”

  “Hey!” I said punching his arm gently. “You were supposed to say ‘that’s only part of it’, and then continue by telling me how awesome I am.”

  “You’re smart – I assumed you could figure out on your own that I am absolutely crazy about you.” He smiled, and my stomach suddenly felt full of butterflies. “The way you look at me like there is no one else in the world you’d rather be than with. The way your face lights up whenever I’m near, your smile, your eyes, your hair,” he took one hand off the wheel and gently tousled my hair. “There isn’t anything about you that I don’t like. You have an amazing personality; you’re gentle, and so loving. And besides all that, you are a really good kisser.”

  A small giggle escaped my lips. “Thanks,” I finally said.

  Thanks seemed lame to say compared to what he told me, but I could really think of nothing else. Once again, Robbie Morgan rendered me speechless.

  Suddenly, Robbie swerved the car to the right. I gripped the bottom of my seat for extra support. “What are you doing?” I asked.

  I looked back to see a black SUV coming at us. I took a deep breath, held out my hand and with all my concentration I swished it to the right. When I did, the SUV swerved out of control missing us by merely inches. It crashed into the median, and after flipping a few times, it came to an abrupt stop.

  My heart was beating so loud, I could hear it in my ears. I looked at Robbie who was just sitting there stunned.

  Finally, the world caught back up to us and I realized we were going over 100MPH.

  “Did you do that?” Robbie finally spoke.

  I nodded, breathlessly. “I didn’t mean to hurt them. Do you think they’re ok?”

  “That wasn’t just anybody, Sof…” he cut off, but I knew exactly who he was talking about. It was Adrianne.

  “So immortals can die in car crashes?” I asked stupidly.

  He laughed. “No. It takes a lot more than a car crash… She was giving us a warning.”

  If a car crash was her idea of a warning, I’d hate to see what happens when she’s really ready to kill me.

  We drove home in silence with my heart still racing. There was no doubt in my mind that this was just the beginning of what Adrianne has in store for me.

  Fifteen

  Teach me to dance

  Since the “almost accident”, I have felt disconnected from the world… I feel like I’m asleep and nothing can wake me from this nightmare that I now call life. Everywhere I go, Adrianne is always there – always staring at me with her ice-colored eyes. I feel as though I can’t escape her.

  I can no longer control my emotions. It seems every day at school I accidently shatter a light bulb, I move desks, and sometimes I even shatter glass windows and doors.

  Yesterday, Todd was bothering me while Jason and Robbie were busy arguing with each other. He made me mad, and I don’t know how, but I moved him 10 feet away from me… He’s a 250 pound quarterback… Though, the look on his face was pretty priceless. I rather enjoyed seeing him scared. I have a feeling he won’t be bothering me again.

  Though moving a 250 pound quarterback seems like nothing after I moved the SUV. I guess when I’m in a desperate situation, my telekinesis powers work better somehow.

  I hadn’t slept much lately, so I found myself dragging to each class.

  “Are you ok?” Robbie asked.

  With my eyes half open, I nodded yes.

  The truth is I wanted nothing more than to lie down in the middle of the school hallway and fall asleep. I hadn’t slept more than a total of 5 hours the past 3 nights. It was starting to wear me down. Even with the NOS energy drink in my system, I was dead on my feet.

  At lunch, I laid my head down on the table and slept the whole lunch period… As always, my dreams were full of nightmares. Nightmares of the night my dad died... And the worst, dreams of Adrianne’s ice colored eyes.

  After my nap, I didn’t feel any more refreshed. In fact, I felt more tired than ever. Robbie and Jason pretty much had to drag me to my next class.

  History – I see that it’s important to know the history of the world, but it is boring. Couldn’t they make it more exciting? Maybe throw in a love story here and there? That would make it better.

  My history teacher doesn’t make it any more interesting either. Mr. Malcolm’s voice is very monotone, and he tries to be funny… He’s not. And even if he was, I don’t think I could laugh after anything he said. I wanted nothing more than to bang my head against my desk.

  I put my elbow on my desk and let my hand hold up my heavy head. My eyelids were only half open, and I wiped my mouth every so often just to check for drool.

  For one brief moment, I allowed my eyes to shut. When they did, I immediately saw Adrianne’s eyes staring back at me. I forced my eyes open. My heart sped up, but even the adrenaline didn’t help. I needed sleep desperately, but my wandering mind wouldn’t allow it.

  Determined to keep my eyes open, I sat up straight. I didn’t need to relax.

  Finally, I felt confident that I wouldn’t fall asleep.

  I felt something wet drip on my head, so I looked up. It looked as if the ceiling was leaking right above my head.

  Great, I thought to myself. But maybe, it will help keep me awake.

  The drip became more frequent as it went along. I looked up once more and suddenly it was like an ice cold waterfall pouring over me. I gasped loud, and then suddenly, I woke up.

  There was no drip. There was no ice cold water. It was just a dream.

  The whole class was looking at me, and Mr. Malcolm gave me a stern look, but kept going on with the lesson.

  The rest of the day, I didn’t fall asleep in class, but I wasn’t really there either. Finally, the bell rang and school was over.

  Neither Robbie nor Jason said anything on the drive home, which I was thankful for. I was starting to develop a migraine. The pain shooting between my eyes was a reminder of that.

  As soon as we got in the house, I lay down on the couch and breathed a sigh of relief to be home. I tried to sleep, but every time I began to relax and close my eyes, I would have another nightmare.

  “You are shaking,” Robbie put a blanket over me.

  I looked up at him for a moment, but everything got blurry so I shut my eyes again.

  “And your eyes are red.”

  “Like yours?” I asked groggily.

  “No – I mean they’re bloodshot.”

  “That’s because I haven’t slept much,” I waved him off. “I’m fine really.”

  “You’re not fine, Sofie,” Jason jumped in the conversation. “You can’t sleep, you won’t eat, and you’re starting to have hallucinations.”

  “Hallucinations,” I laughed. “I am seriously ok.”

  From behind Jason, I saw a pair of icy blue eyes coming towards me. A small scream escaped my lips, but then just as quickly as they appeared, they disappeared.

  “Point proven,” Jason smarted off. “You’ve got to sleep.”

  Robbie walked back in the room, though I was unaware that he had even left. He handed me a bottle of water and 2 pills. “Take these,” he said handing them to me. “They’re sleeping pills.” When I didn’t say anything, he added, “They will help you sleep.”

  I took them from him and hesitated for a moment. “What if they don’t help?”

  “They will,” he promised.

  I got up to go change into my pajamas, but then I realized I was already wearing sweat pants. “Was I wearing thi
s all day?”

  Robbie nodded.

  “Wow, I am really out of it.” I lay my head against the back of the couch. “I’m just going to lay here for a little bit.” I didn’t want to get up.

  I felt myself drift off to sleep. I waited for the nightmares. I waited for her cold eyes. But they never came. Just dreamless, peaceful sleep awaited me.

  …

  When I woke up, I was no longer on the couch. I didn’t open my eyes, but I knew exactly where I was – Robbie’s bed. I could smell his familiar cologne on the pillow.

  I love his bed. It reminded me of fluffy marshmallows, or clouds, it’s so soft. I wonder sometimes if this is what it would feel like sleeping on a marshmallow, but of course it’s not sticky. I pulled his black comforter around my face. I could literally lie here all day.

  I finally forced myself to get up. The clock on the nightstand said it was already 1pm. So much for school, I think.

  For a moment, I wonder why Robbie or Jason didn’t wake me… But then I remember that it’s Robbie and Jason. Of course they didn’t wake me.

  I made my way from the bedroom into the living room, and I was shocked at what I saw.

  Robbie and Jason were sitting on the couch – beside each other. They each had an Xbox controller in their hand, and they weren’t fighting. I decided to stand behind them quietly. It was nice to actually have peace. I didn’t want to interrupt it.

  Just then, my phone started ringing in my pocket. Both Jason and Robbie turned around to look at me.

  It was my mom calling, so I answered. “Hello.”

  She was crying on the other end, and she was drunk – again. “Sofie,” she attempted to say, but her tongue was swollen so it was hard to understand.

  “What’s wrong?”

  “Steve kicked me out,” she cried hysterically from the other end.

  I wasn’t at all surprised. Of course he kicked her out, they always do. Only this time, she didn’t have a house to go back to. “What are you going to do?”

  “I’m stayin’ at a motel now,” she said calming down a little.

  “Ok, good. What about your job?”

  “I quit,” she said before crying again.

  I wanted to choke my mom, literally. I didn’t understand how she could be so utterly irresponsible and stupid. Frustrated, I pulled at my hair. “Go back to Bob and beg for him to give you your job back.” Bob was my mom’s old boss. He was all the time giving my mom second chances that she didn’t deserve.

  “You know what – you’re right. It’s time I got back on my feet.” I heard a thud and glass break. “Whoops,” she said laughing.

  “Wait until you’re sober to call him,” I demanded her bitterly.

  “I miss you, Sofie.”

  “I miss you too, Mom, but you’ve got to change some things. I can’t take it anymore. It’s not my responsibility to take care of you,” I blinked and a few hot tears spilled down my face. “You’re supposed to take care of me.”

  “I’m so sorry,” she began to sob even harder… I hated when my mom was a “weepy drunk”.

  “I’ve got to go.” I didn’t wait for her to respond, I just hung up. Frustrated I pushed my hair out of my face and looked up. Both Jason and Robbie were still looking at me. “I don’t want to talk about it,” I simply said, and walked into the kitchen. After sleeping almost 24 hours, I was starving.

  “Want me to cook for you?” Robbie asked from behind me.

  His voice startled me. I wasn’t expecting him to be there. I jumped slightly. I turned back towards the fridge and stared. “I don’t know. I’m not sure what I want.”

  “Well I can make anything your heart desires.” I didn’t have to look at him to know he was smiling.

  I closed the fridge and turned around. “Anything?” I confirmed.

  He nodded.

  “I want hot, fresh brownies with vanilla ice cream on top.”

  “Can do – but you need something before you eat dessert.”

  I rolled my eyes. “Fine. I want French fries.”

  “Coming right up.”

  20 minutes later, I was eating the most delicious fries I’ve ever eaten, and the brownies were in the oven.

  “You really have to teach me how you cook like this,” I said dipping my fry in ketchup.

  He laughed. “I’ve had many years of practice.”

  “Is there anything you’re not good at?” I asked with my mouth full. Forget table manners, this food is awesome!

  He thought for a few moments. “I can’t dance.”

  “You… can’t dance?” I repeated.

  He shook his head. “Nope – but honestly, I’ve never tried.”

  “Why not?”

  “I’ve never had a dancing partner to practice with.”

  “I could teach you,” I said excitedly.

  “Sofia Black can dance?”

  I nodded. “Yes. My dad taught me.”

  “Then teach me. Tonight.” His voice was very seductive, and made my heart beat erratically. I had to remind myself to breathe.

  “I’d like that,” I tried to say evenly, but it came out all wrong. He just smiled and left me to eat my fries.

  I tell myself that I hide my feelings well, but the truth is, I’m an open book when it comes to Robbie. I have to admit that I like him more than I’ve ever liked anybody, ever. I might even love…

  No.

  I’m not going to think that. Not yet anyway. First, I have to know that I actually have a future to plan before I start planning one with somebody.

  After finishing my fries, Robbie, Jason, and I ate brownies with vanilla ice cream on top. Jason opted to put chocolate syrup on his, but I have always thought chocolate with more chocolate was just too much… too sweet. If the saying you are what you eat is true, it fits Jason perfect. He is too sweet.

  I wondered if that was why I liked Jason so much at first. I wasn’t used to somebody giving me attention, and I liked it. He was a friend when I had none. I will forever be grateful to him. He literally changed my life.

  Later on that night, Robbie hooked his iPod up to some speakers and selected a slow song. He bowed and held his hand out to me. I accepted graciously, and did a curtsey. We both laughed at the formality.

  Robbie pulled me close to him, and we danced. If I was being honest, he was actually a better dancer than me. It’s not saying much, really, because trust me, I’m awful. But he’s actually good.

  “Robbie Morgan, I do believe you were lying to me.”

  “How else could I convince you to dance with me,” he smiled, and again I was weak in the knees. “It’s the only way you would let me sweep you off your feet.”

  I playfully tried to glare at him, but I ended up smiling. “I’m pretty sure you’ve already swept me off my feet.”

  “That’s what I’m hoping for,” he whispered in my ear, giving me chills.

  Neither of us said anything else. He just held me in his arms, and we danced for hours. In moments like this, I felt hope.

  Robbie is my hope.

  Sixteen

  Where have you been?

  On Saturday, I decided I would go see my mom. I wanted to go by myself, but after the almost car accident, Robbie insisted on driving me. I enjoy my time with him, don’t get me wrong, but being babysat wasn’t exactly something I enjoyed.

  My mom didn’t answer when I pounded on the door, so I had the hotel manager unlock it for me. I thanked him and walked inside. My mom was lying on the bed asleep. On the nightstand was a half empty bottle of whiskey.

  I felt furious at my mom in that moment. I was still in shock that she threw everything away for a guy she barely knew.

  I took the bottle of whiskey and poured it down the bathroom sink. Soon after, I opened the fridge and did the same to the bottles of beer, and a full bottle of tequila. Once I finished that, I opened up the curtain and let the sun shine in.

  Afterwards, I propped open the door so I wouldn’t be locked out. I filled up the
ice bucket, came back and filled the bucket with water. I took the ice cold water and I dumped it over my mom’s head. She gasped for air as she sat up in a fright.

  “Get up!” I yelled at her.

  “Sof?” she looked at me confused for a few seconds. “What d’ya think you’re doin’?”

  “You’re getting up,” I said looking at the time. “It’s almost noon.”

  If my mom could shoot lasers out her eyes, she would be shooting them at me right now. With the evil look she was giving me, I almost expected it. “Like hell I’m gettin’ up.”

  “Did you ask for your job back?” I asked.

  She didn’t answer, so I took it as a no.

  “Pretty soon you’re going to be living on the street, begging for money to buy your precious alcohol. You should think about it.” I crossed my arms over my chest angrily. “You don’t even care about me. I could be dead for all you knew. You don’t know who I’m staying with, and you don’t know if I’m ok.”

  A guilty look came over her face. “Just – get – out!” She yelled at me.

  “No,” I said stubbornly. “You’re going to get off your lazy butt. Get a shower. Seize the day. I’m not leaving here until I see you do something besides lay there.”

  “Sofie, I’m hung over. What do you want from me?” I hated seeing her lay there looking so pitiful.

  “No matter what happens, you are still my mom. I hate the way you treated me growing up. You loved alcohol and drugs more than me,” I sighed. “I get it, it’s an addiction. But if you want to keep me in your life, you have to change. Because when I leave, I’m not coming back unless you’ve truly changed. And I don’t mean you’ve given up alcohol for 2 weeks or a month – you have to give it up for good.”

  “What does it matter to you if I screw up my life?”

  “Because I love you, Mom, please change. If not for me, change for you,” my voice was almost begging. I wasn’t opposed to the idea of pleading with her.

  “Sofie, I love you. You know that, right?”

  I nodded my head.

  “Just give me some time, ok? I promise I will change.”