Without Justice

by Carsen Taite

  “Absolutely,” Emily said. “Well, I guess the defendant could ask for a continuance, but he’d have to have a pretty damn good reason after Brody invoked the speedy trial request today.”

  “But thirty days is speedier than usual, right? I mean, do you honestly think anyone could realistically prepare for a murder case in thirty days?”

  Emily heard the challenge in Cade’s voice, but she wasn’t exactly sure what she was challenging. “Well, I know I’ll be ready.”

  “Really? You’re going to try it yourself?”

  “You sound surprised,” Emily said, aware of the edge in her tone and trying to shake it. Cade’s questions were simple and the kind she should anticipate from the local press, so why did she feel defensive?

  “Isn’t it a little unusual for the state’s, I mean, district attorney, to personally handle a case at trial?”

  “Not necessarily. One of my campaign promises was to be more hands-on than my predecessor. Besides, it’s not like I don’t know what I’m doing. I spent the last twelve years in the courtroom, and up until a few months ago, I was one of the top prosecutors in my office.”

  Cade held up a hand. “Hey, I’m not questioning your ability. I’m sure you’re a skilled litigator. The defendant’s lawyer seemed a bit out of his element. Guess I’m thinking it’s a little David and Goliath anyway, and rushing off to trial in the next month seems to throw things completely out of balance.”

  “Did you just call me Goliath?” She didn’t try to hide her growing agitation.

  “Maybe it wasn’t the best analogy, but you have to admit it seems a bit unfair.”

  “Actually no, I don’t have to admit any such thing.” Emily set her fork down, her appetite vanished. “It’s not my job to make sure the defendant has the best representation possible. It’s my job to make sure the laws are enforced for the protection of the citizens of this county.”

  “Did the defendant choose his lawyer or was the guy appointed?”

  Emily took a swig from her wine glass. This conversation was spiraling out of control, but she couldn’t seem to stop feeling defensive. “What does it matter to you? Last I checked you were just a librarian, not a lawyer. You thinking about leaving your quiet gig to go to law school so you can start defending murderers?”

  Cade’s expression shifted from curious to stricken, and despite her own aggravation, Emily wished she could reel the words back in. She set down her glass and stepped closer to Cade. “That was harsh. I’m sorry.”

  Cade backed away. “I think I should go.”

  Emily searched her eyes for any sign this situation was salvageable, but Cade’s steely expression signaled she had erected a wall around the subject. “I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, but I promise you I know what I’m doing. I get it. From the outside looking in, things might seem unfair, but trust me, this is the way it’s done.”

  “Was that supposed to be a less condescending way of saying what you said before?” Cade’s asked, her sharp tone incredulous. “It’s one of two things. You either think I don’t know what I’m talking about or you don’t care if I do.”

  Why was Cade suddenly the defensive one? “What do you want me to say? This is my job and I’ve been doing it for a while now. So well, in fact, the citizens of this county elected me to run the place.” Emily could hear her voice rising, but she couldn’t seem to stop this train wreck before it got out of hand. “Forgive me if I don’t feel like I have to explain every decision to someone who’s never had to stand in front of a jury and convince them to deprive someone of their freedom.” Her words skidded to a stop as Cade’s face furrowed into a firm scowl. She waited for some kind of response, but all she got was a shaking head and stony silence.

  They stared at each other for what felt like forever before Cade said good night and started walking out of the room. Emily looked at her back. Was this really happening? Less than an hour ago, they’d been lying naked in her bed tangled in each other’s arms, basking in the afterglow of amazing sex. How had their relationship disintegrated so quickly?

  Because we don’t have a relationship. Emily gave a silent curse for jumping into bed with Cade when she barely knew her. It was completely out of character, but she’d done it anyway. The pressure of the past year, the toll it had taken on her social life—she’d let her lonesome libido make the decisions tonight. This was no way to find a future wife. If they had a better foundation, maybe the argument they’d had this evening wouldn’t have escalated.

  She had a choice. Write the entire episode off or try to reconcile their differences. No matter what anyone ever said about her, she wasn’t a quitter. She jogged across the kitchen after Cade. “Wait. Please.”

  Cade stopped but didn’t turn around. Not the scenario Emily would have preferred to make her apology, but it would have to do. “Let’s talk about this. Tonight was amazing, and I’m not ready to write it off over one silly argument. Please stay.”

  She silently counted the seconds she spent waiting for Cade’s response. One, two, three…she made it to five before Cade was in motion again, but she wasn’t headed back. She was headed for the door.

  *

  Cade pulled into her driveway, shut off the engine, and leaned her head against the steering wheel. The night had started with such promise. A beautiful woman, a quiet romantic dinner. Before she arrived at Emily’s house it hadn’t even crossed her mind they would have sex tonight. Well, that wasn’t entirely true. She had allowed a few fleeting fantasies, but for the fantasy to turn to reality? Totally not on her radar.

  Emily had taken the lead, and she’d willingly followed because what fool wouldn’t want to sleep with a woman as beautiful, smart, and passionate as Emily? But now she knew she’d made a huge mistake, and it had started the moment Emily noticed her scar, and reached its pinnacle during their argument over the Miller case. Getting close meant risking exposure. Women like Emily weren’t satisfied with vague or glib answers in response to personal questions, and they didn’t take well to having their integrity questioned.

  She beat her palms against the steering wheel. Whatever had been blossoming between her and Emily was over. She didn’t have to like it, but it was for the best. Relationships necessarily came with truth-telling, and her entire life was a lie.

  A bright light caught her eye and she looked across the street to see Mavis Percy framed in the front window of her house. Great. Way to draw attention to yourself. She waved in Mavis’s direction before pulling into the garage. She fumbled as she entered the house, having forgotten to leave a light on. When she finally flipped the switch, she kicked off her boots and tossed her jacket over a chair in a display of apathy. She was never going to have anyone besides Kennedy over, so what was the point of her obsessive need to keep things in order? There was no order to her life other than the need to keep up pretenses at all costs.

  The kitchen was as clean and bright as when she’d left it earlier in the day. She pulled a glass from the cabinet and poured two fingers of the whisky she’d purchased when she’d picked up the bottle of wine she’d taken to Emily’s on their first real date. At the time, she’d imagined they’d share the expensive single malt, maybe on their fourth or fifth date, maybe even here, at her place, but as she looked around the room, she realized her plan had been doomed to failure.

  Where Emily’s house was rich with history, hers revealed only scant traces of the person she was. No pictures, no knick-knacks. No mugs in the cabinet purchased on tourist junkets or souvenirs of any kind. Her dishes and furnishings were Pier One plain, nothing about anything in this house told her story because she didn’t have a story, which meant she would never have a real life.

  Chapter Sixteen

  Emily stood up to stretch her legs and nearly tripped over a box. Two weeks after Miller’s indictment, she’d taken up residence in the war room they’d created for trial prep. Her administrative work had fallen way behind, and she couldn’t remember the last time she�
�d gotten a good night’s sleep. She could not be more ready to have things at the office return to normal.

  In her early days as a prosecutor, she’d tried dozens of cases on the fly, but they’d all been misdemeanor matters like DWI and criminal trespass. None of those cases had involved DNA evidence or the lifetime consequence of a murder conviction. She’d considered filing a motion to continue the case. Miller’s right to a speedy trial meant the trial needed to take place within six months, not the thirty days Brody had requested, but she was reluctant to back down now that she’d agreed to the trial date currently on the calendar. Pride was definitely a factor in her decision, but she figured the rush to trial would ultimately work to Miller’s disadvantage since she was a whole lot more experienced than her opponent.

  Besides, being so completely caught up in litigation mode meant she didn’t have time to think about anything else. She’d managed to beg off family obligations, town hall meetings, and most importantly, she’d managed to avoid processing what had happened between her and Cade Kelly.

  Cade. Every time she came to mind, Emily’s thoughts were a mixed-up mess of images of Cade, the sensual lover and Cade, the woman who’d challenged her about this case. Emily had made peace with the fact she’d overreacted to Cade’s challenges, but since Cade had brushed off her apologies, both that night and in the text she’d sent the next day, it was clear Cade wasn’t interested in her anymore.

  She’d talked it over with Becca, who’d been no help at all, suggesting a grand gesture as the way to win Cade over, but only three dates into their relationship, Emily couldn’t justify a grand gesture. Besides, when it came to Cade Kelly, she had more questions than answers, and since Cade had shut off communications, it didn’t look like any of her questions were going to be answered anytime soon. Best to move on. When this case was over, she’d put herself back out there and see if she could find a better match, and hopefully, someone who captivated her interest like Cade had.

  In the meantime, this case was her date, and it was as demanding as it was attractive. She’d used the cachet of her last name with the state forensic lab to hurry along the DNA results of the blood on the knife found at Kevin Miller’s apartment. The favor had been worth spending since it was a ninety-nine percentile match to the victim. The evidence might all be circumstantial, but the circumstances were all pointing to Miller as the killer. Cade’s probing questions about the case still echoed in her head, but she dismissed them every time they threatened to derail her. It wasn’t her fault the court had appointed an inexperienced attorney to Miller’s case, and she could hardly be blamed if his attorney had insisted on a quick trial. She’d be fair in every respect and let the chips fall where they may.

  Seth poked his head in the door. “You ready to meet with the lab analyst? He’s waiting outside.”

  She looked up from her paperwork, his entrance reminding her of another issue she needed to address. “Sorry, I guess I lost track of time.” She handed him a folder. “Make sure Brody gets a copy of the lab report today, and make sure he has access to anything else he needs.”

  One of her campaign promises had been to change the way discovery was handled by the DA’s office. Her predecessor had complied with the letter of the law, but never the spirit when it came to sharing information, despite new legislation that required extensive pre-trial disclosures. “I want you to personally ensure there are no missing pages in any of the discovery, and nothing is black-lined. Full disclosure.”

  “Will do.” Seth took the folder she offered and thumbed through the pages. “This case is a slam dunk.”

  “Take that back, right now! I mean it.”

  He raised both hands. “Sorry, we haven’t tried a case in a while, and I forgot how superstitious you get.”

  “Don’t make fun of me. It’s not cool to tempt fate. The case is winnable, and with a lot of hard work and prep, we will win it, but it’s never a slam dunk until it’s done. Clear?”

  “Got it, boss.” He stood and tucked the file under his arm. “I’ll make sure Brody gets this today. In other news, Vivian is coming by for lunch. Something about pictures of potential wedding venues. Would you like to join us? Please say yes. You can distract her when my eyes start to glaze over.”

  “I’m going to pretend you didn’t just imply that because I’m a woman, I’d be more interested in wedding planning than you are.” She bit her bottom lip. She could think of a dozen reasons why she didn’t want to join them for lunch. Watching two sickeningly happy people plan a wedding when she didn’t seem to be able to get a foothold in any kind of relationship was high on the list. “Seriously, I can’t make it. I’ve got to meet with the county commissioners this afternoon. I’ve already put it off twice, and I need some time to review the budget before the meeting. Rain check?”

  “Fine, but don’t think you can show up for the cake tasting if you haven’t put in the hard work on the boring part of the planning.”

  “I completely understand. Count me in for next time,” she said, holding out hope that next time would be far, far away.

  Seth pointed at the boxes on the floor. “Why don’t you let me assign someone to sort all of that into notebooks for trial? Would save us tons of time.”

  Emily knew that’s what most attorneys in her position would do, but she’d developed a winning record by hands-on involvement in her cases. Just because she was in charge, she wasn’t going to delegate trial prep to one of the dozen other assistant district attorneys in the office. “You won’t know your case unless you build it yourself,” she told him, anticipating his eye roll since she’d said the same thing every time they’d tried a case together. Seth had started out working at a large firm in Dallas and had gotten used to having a bevy of secretaries and paralegals at his disposal. He’d eventually adjusted to the slower pace of Lawson County with its do-it-yourself level of practice, but it hadn’t been easy.

  “Okay. I’ll even do my own files when you’ve decided which witnesses you’re going to toss my way.”

  “About that…” Emily paused as she considered the best way to tell him what was on her mind. She’d been up most of the night thinking about the trial. She’s assumed Seth would be the perfect person to try the case with her since they’d come up through the office as trial partners, but lately he was always rushing off at Vivian’s beck and call. She didn’t begrudge him being involved in planning his own wedding, but she was working around the clock on this case, and she needed someone equally engaged.

  “What’s up?”

  She plunged right in. “I’m a little worried you’re distracted.”

  “What?” Seth’s face reflected genuine surprise.

  “I get it, I do. If I were planning a wedding, it would probably be the most important thing on my mind,” she lied, “but for the next month, I need you completely committed to this case, and that might mean no running off to taste cake and try on tuxes in the middle of the day.”

  Seth sank back against the wall as if she’d punched him in the gut, and she instantly wished she could have a do-over. “I’m sorry. I realize that sounded harsh.” Harsh—the same word she’d used to describe the way she’d reacted to Cade’s comments on their final night together. I’m on a roll. She cast about for something to say in the face of Seth’s silence. “I’m happy for you, I really am. We can figure this out.”

  “Yeah, okay.” Seth pushed away from the wall. “I’ll meet you in the conference room.” He started to walk out of the office. “And about lunch, don’t worry, I’ll make it fast.”

  He exited the room so quickly Emily didn’t have a chance to get another word in. She sighed. Was it this case or was she just destined to push people away lately?

  *

  Cade sat in front of the computer in the research office, but the words on the screen were a big blur. It had been almost two weeks since her at first perfect and then calamitous last date with Emily, and she still couldn’t shake her depression. Nothing about her life was what
she’d planned: her career, her relationships, her anything. She was living a lie, and it made her feel powerless.

  She didn’t care about the work on her computer screen, dammit. She hadn’t gone to school for seven years so she could do other people’s research. She’d had a career with substance. The cases she had prosecuted protected the community, and she’d made a difference in people’s lives, not just their livelihoods. Now, all she did was sit around all day, combing through reference materials with Emily’s words echoing through her head. Just a librarian. The words hurt, but she couldn’t deny the truth. She was just a librarian with no badge, no power, no ability to affect real change, and now that she’d broken things off with Emily, she’d shut out the one person with whom she’d had a real connection since she’d assumed her new identity.

  “There you are.”

  Cade looked up to see Monica standing next to her desk. Great, another person she’d been hiding out from. As much as she could use a friend right now, she’d decided walling herself off was the only way to cope. “Hey.”

  Undeterred by the unenthusiastic response, Monica pulled up a chair. “You know, we have computers upstairs. I recall seeing one in your office. Care to tell me why you’re hiding out down here?”

  Cade gestured at the screen. “I’m not hiding out. Holing up maybe.”

  “Fair enough, but I’m beginning to take it personally. I left you two messages yesterday about the tennis tournament at the club, and I’m not buying that you don’t have time to play.”

  Cade had wanted to ignore Monica’s messages, but since they worked together, she’d settled for a little white lie, thankful at how easy it was to dissemble in a text versus in person. Now that she was face-to-face with her, she didn’t have a clue what to say, so she settled on, “I had fun the one time, but my heart’s really not into it. I’d only hold you back.”