Dysfunctional (The Root of Betrayal)

by Tameka Hicks

  Young Guns 2 played on the television set. Even with the volume low, it still disturbed her. She became irritable to sounds and lights with each passing second, the moonlight that shone through the window bothered her terribly. She tossed and turned as she tried to ignore the fact that she couldn’t breathe and was experiencing painful cramps. Tamara had this weird look upon her face.

  “Tina,” she said, rubbing her stomach. “Tina!”

  “What,” she answered, rubbing her closed eyes. She needed a minute for her vision to clear and then another minute to register where in the heck she was.

  “What’s wrong?”

  A sharp pain shot from her lower back to her abdomen like hot lightning. She exhaled, closing her eyes and taking in a couple of deep breaths. Relax, she told herself.

  “Are you alright?”

  She yelled. “Will you stop asking me that? I can’t catch my breath.”

  “Are you in labor?”

  “No, my due date is November 9.” She frowned. “If I lay down, it will go away like last week.” Tamara motioned towards the dresser for her cassette player.

  “Here,” she passed her the player and her two favorite cassette tapes.

  Their communication worked telepathically this morning. Tina went into the bathroom to pour her a glass of water. Tamara was about to ask her how in the hell did she know she was thirsty, but changed her mind because the painful cramps had returned. Tina went back into the bathroom and came out with a cold towel for her. Tamara went to say thank-you, but Tina replied, “Your welcome,” before she had a chance to.

  For the next five hours, she painfully tossed and turned. She thought that she was dealing with those, “Braxton Hicks Contractions,” again but these cramps weren’t going anywhere-they had gotten more intense.

  “This pain can’t possibly get anymore excruciating,” she mumbled. She staggered to Tina’s bed and sat next to her. “Tina, get up. Tina!”

  “Huh,” she gazed at the ceiling. “What Mara? What?”

  “Get up girl,” she pinched her. “right now.”

  “Ow, why did you do that?”

  “I think I’m in labor.”

  “Wow, you think? It took you hours to realize that?”

  She found the strength to chuckle. “Go tell the guard to call Mrs. Shavers now,” she mumbled.

  Tina ran to the end of the hallway to inform the guard to call or page the doctor.

  “She’ll be here soon,” she said. “Just relax.”

  “I have to use the bathroom. Will you help me? When I walk it feels like my stuff is about to fall out.”

  “Come on. The baby is coming. Can I be the godmother?” She grabbed her arm as she helped her to her feet. “So you can have my little girl on the corner selling her body with you,” she said laughing.

  They laughed. “That’s not funny. You’re obviously not hurting that bad to crack jokes on me.”

  She helped her to the door. “Now get out. Thank you. And yes, you can, if you promise to love my baby as much as I do.”

  “I promise.” Tina stuck out her finger and they pinky swore.

  Doctor Shavers and Miss Williams burst through the already opened door like the Feds.

  “Where’s Tamara?” asked a sleepy eyed Dr. Shaver.

  “In the bathroom,” replied Tina.

  Tamara yelled. “Tina!”

  “Yeah.”

  She felt a gush of water come out into the toilet. “My water broke! Call them again.”

  “Tamara, open up the door,” said Dr. Shavers.

  “I can’t,” she said exhausted.

  “Why not,” wondered Miss Williams.

  “I’m in too much-Pain! Oh my God,” she moaned.

  Tina walked past and opened the door. “It’s already open. You didn’t think to turn the knob? Two highly educated women and neither one of you thought to check and see if the door was open?” She pushed Tina out of the way.

  “Thank you. That will be all,” said Miss Williams.

  Tamara was in pain, but she agreed totally with Tina and that made her laugh.

  “Can you get up?” asked Dr. Shavers.

  “In a minute doctor, do the both of you have to be in here with me?”

  “I called your mother and she’s on her way here,” Miss Williams said.

  “Why did you call her? I don’t want her anywhere near me or my baby.”

  “Your mother has to be present with you when you give birth, if it’s possible. It’s a state-mandated policy,” said Dr. Shavers.

  She wondered and asked, “Why? I am going home after I have my baby, right?”

  “You have to talk that over with your mother when she gets here,” Miss Williams interrupted.

  “What hospital are you taking me to?”

  “You are going to deliver here. We’re equipped with the facilities to deliver your baby.”

  She tightened her stomach muscles trying to stop the contractions from coming.

  “What if something goes wrong?”

  “We called the anesthesiologist, and she’ll be here soon. The hospital is on standby. People deliver at home all the time. Don’t worry, you’ll be all right,” Miss Williams explained as she rubbed her back in a circular motion. She jerked away from Miss Williams. “Don’t do that.”

  They helped her to the wheelchair and pushed her to the room. Tamara asked if she could sit in the Jacuzzi and relax. “Maybe that will help you,” suggested Miss Williams.

  The room was average sized. It was painted light green with a relaxing wall mural of palm trees with an ocean in the background. It had the look and feel of an actual hospital maternity ward, but ten times better. Dr. Shavers reached for Tamara’s hand.

  “Are you ready to get into the Jacuzzi?”

  She paused because she had another contraction. “Yes.”

  “How many minutes apart are your contractions?”

  “You’re the doctor so you tell me,” she sarcastically said as she had put on her silk gown.

  “It’s amazing how many girls who, in the midst of labor, are still concerned about their appearance,” she chuckled. “Are you sure you want to mess this beautiful gown up?” asked the doctor.

  “Yes, one of my boyfriends’ bought me this gown to deliver the baby in.”

  The doctor chuckled. “How many boyfriends do you have?”

  “Three.”

  “Who’s the father?”

  “All of them,” she laughed, before another contraction ripped through her uterus.

  They laughed. “You can only have one father.”

  She brushed her hair into a ponytail. “Well, my baby is lucky. She has three daddies. Do you mind?”

  She turned around. “That can be a dangerous situation,” Dr. Shavers explained to her. “I can provide a DNA test for the three men to find out for sure.”

  “When I see her, I’ll know.”

  Dr. Shavers checked the heart monitor and jotted down some information on her chart. “You can’t always go by that.”

  “I’m ready to get into the Jacuzzi now. I don’t really want to talk about them.”

  The Jacuzzi sat in the middle of Tamara’s birthing room. She thought happy thoughts as the water pulsated over her body. She felt relaxed and at ease.

  “This is what I’m talking about,” she said. Suddenly, a different feeling overcame her. “I want to get out of this thing,” she said sickly as she covered her mouth. “Oh no,” I haven’t sat in a tub in months, and as soon as I get the chance, I get sick, as she filled the tub with her dinner.

  “Well, that’s not going to work, I see Tamara.”

  “I guess not, Miss Williams.” Tamara rubbed her huge belly, took a deep breath, and counted to thirty as she put her nightgown back on.

  “You’re doing good Tamara.”

  “How much longer do I have until it’s over?”

  Dr. Shavers laughed. “There’s no set time to deliver a baby. Some people experience labor for seven hours, some
for twenty hours and some for forty seven hours. It all depends on the baby and how well the mother pushes. Are you ready for your pain medication?”

  “Not yet.”

  Dr. Shavers grabbed a pair of latex gloves from the box on the counter. “I need to examine you and see how many centimeters you’ve dilated.”

  She held her head up and rolled her eyes. “Oh, I’m tired of this checkup stuff already.”

  The doctor showed her the belt that she needed to put around her stomach.

  “Can it wait until I’m finished having this contraction please? Damn!”

  Her face was frowned. “That’s tight. What’s that sound?”

  “That’s the baby’s heartbeat,” replied Miss Williams.

  “You can hear the baby’s heartbeat and her movements.”

  “Oh,” she exhaled.

  “You have dilated four centimeters. We will give you an epidural for pain.”

  “I wanted to have the baby naturally.”

  “Why have the baby naturally when you can have pain medication and be comfortable?” asked Miss Williams.

  “No disrespect, but why are you in here again?”

  “I’m responsible for you until your mother gets here.”

  “I’ve told you that I don’t want her in here, so whatever she needs to sign let her sign them and leave.”

  Dr. Shavers and Miss Williams looked at each other.

  Ten hours later.

  The medicine had helped Tamara sleep like a baby for hours. Every hour on the hour, the doctor checked to see if she had dilated anymore, and to check her vital signs.

  “She’s doing well,” the doctor informed Miss Williams.

  She sat up in the bed with tubes running everywhere possible. “I need more medicine because this is starting to wear off!” Tamara roared out. See glanced over her shoulder and… Lord behold….

  “Hi Tamara,” Jeanette said smiling.

  “Where’s Dr. Shavers,” she asked Jeanette.

  Jeanette placed the magazine in her lap. “You’re not going to speak to me?”

  “Hey,” she said nonchalantly. She lay back down, and turned her head and body away from Jeanette.

  Jeanette explained. “Two more girls went into labor. It must be a full moon?”

  She said with her eyes closed. “Must be because you are out. Where’s my grandma?”

  “I didn’t have time to go and get her.”

  “When are we going home with grandma?”

  She tried to push Tamara’s hair back from her face, but she quickly turned away.

  “Don’t touch me Jeanette.”

  “Tamara, this is not the time to be angry with me. I didn’t get you pregnant. I’m trying to be here for you.”

  “You have to be here because you’re the guardian.”

  “I’m your mother no matter how you feel about me.”

  “Giving birth to a child doesn’t make you a mother,” she mumbled. She noticed a blue jay sitting outside her window’s ledge. If I could have my baby and fly away from here, she wished. I wouldn’t come back.

  “Where’s the doctor or the nurse with my medicine?”

  She walked in on cue. “Here I am,” said Dr. Shavers. “Your contractions are three minutes apart and the last time I checked, you’ve dilated to eight centimeters. It’ll be over soon.”

  She had injected two types of medicine with a needle into her IV.

  Tamara asked, “Why are you using two this time?”

  “You need more medicine to help you cope with the pain because it will become more intense as you dilate. Try to relax as much as you can,” she patted her leg. “You’re doing terrific.”

  “I don’t feel terrific.”

  Dr. Shavers requested that Jeanette join her in the hallway to have a serious discussion. They walked out of the room and went down the hallway, so they could talk in private. “I know that you were informed about our problem with her pregnancy.” She nodded.

  “She’s really ten centimeters and Miss Williams told me to give her another drug on top of the one that we were giving her to keep her comfortable and drowsy because we all know how Tamara can get. She’s a feisty little thing, and she will fight with us when we take the baby away from her for tests.”

  “I know.”

  “She’ll be too drowsy to know what’s going on,” said Miss Williams, as she joined into the conversation.

  “I need to move quickly because the medicine works fast,” Dr. Shavers said as she headed back into the room with Tamara. Miss Williams handed Jeanette the documents that she needed to sign.

  “You need to sign the first document and have her sign the other nine documents before she’s too sedated.”

  Miss Williams asked Jeanette, “Did you take care of everything?”

  She nodded.

  “Are you sure this is what you want to do?” asked Miss Williams.

  “Yes, I am sure. Let’s do it.”

  Jeanette went back in. “Tamara, can you hear me?”

  She nodded “yes” slowly. “I’m so sleepy. I can’t keep my eyes open. I feel so dizzy,” she managed to mumble out.

  “I need you to sign this paper for me Tamara. Sign your name right here. Take the pen.”

  Grab the pen Tamara, she told herself. I can’t do it. Jeanette had placed the pen into her hand. “Write your name Tamara.”

  She said smiling, “Like I did in kindergarten?”

  “Yes Tamara,” said Jeanette.

  “Okay. Tamara Brown,” she drowsily said.

  “Good girl,” said Dr. Shavers. Jeanette passed each paper that she signed to the doctor, and she passed it to Miss Williams.

  “Okay Tamara. Thank you. Now it’s time to push.”

  “I’m too tired doctor. I can’t push.”

  Jeanette grabbed her hand. “You can do it. Push hard Tamara!”

  They tried to cheer her on how to push the baby out. They waited thirty minutes for her to push again, but she didn’t. She was too drowsy to give birth. The baby’s heart rate dropped so they had rushed her to the hospital. They had no choice but to perform a C-Section because time was running out. She felt a light pulling sensation on what she thought should’ve been her stomach. She faintly heard them talking to each other in the room as they operated on her. She heard a lot of crying from her little precious girl in the distance. “My baby,” she said in a whisper.

  “Six pounds and six ounces,” someone said.

  “She’s six pounds even. Eighteen inches tall,” someone else said.

  She has a strong set of lungs on her. My goodness, Tamara thought.

  “Roll her to her room,” was the last thing she had heard before she woke back up three hours later. She opened up her eyes. “Where am I at?” she mumbled.

  She touched her almost flattened stomach. “Where’s my baby?” I thought that I was dreaming.

  Jeanette was reclined in the lazy boy chair next to the bed asleep wrapped up comfortably in a blue blanket snoring.

  “Jeanette, wake up! Where’s my baby?”

  Tamara startled her by the way she yelled her name. “What?” She jumped up, knocking the book that sat in her lap onto the floor.

  “Where’s my baby? I want to see her now.”

  Jeanette threw the cover off of her and walked towards Tamara. “I need to tell you something.”

  “I want to see my baby,” she said as she repeatedly pressed the help button for the doctor to come into her room.

  Dr. Shavers and Miss Williams stormed into the room because they heard her all the way down the hallway. “Did you tell her?” asked Dr. Shavers directing her question to Jeanette.

  Jeanette shook her head no.

  “Did she tell me what?”

  “I first need you to calm down so I can I tell you what happened.”

  She sat up. “Stop beating around the bush doctor and tell me what’s going on!”

  “Your baby is gone.” That played in her head over and over like a broke re
cord.

  “Your baby is gone,” explained Dr. Shavers.

  She lay back on the bed as she tried to hold back her tears. I guess I had this coming. All the shit that I’ve done, she thought.

  “Gone where? What happened to her? How did she die?”

  “She didn’t die Tamara. You told us when you were in labor that you were willing to give the baby up for adoption until you finished school.”

  She was relieved. “She’s not dead?” But that quickly changed to anger.

  “No, but you temporarily signed your rights away.” Miss Williams showed her the papers. “You and your mother both thought that it would be the best for you.” She didn’t say a word to Jeanette but her eyes spoke volumes.

  “Okay, she’s not dead,” she repeated. She was confused because she didn’t recall saying a thing like that to anyone. “I don’t remember that. How can she decide anything for me? She wasn’t her mother and she’s not my mother.”

  “Look, you signed the documents,” she showed her the paperwork.

  She looked at that scrambled signature on each document. She sort of remembered signing the papers, but she doesn’t remember discussing adoption. She tossed the papers into Jeanette’s face.

  “Go and get my baby! Right now!” she demanded.

  “Tamara, the baby is gone with her new foster parents,” explained Jeanette.

  She quickly snatched the IV out of her arm. “Why is this shit still in my arm,” blood went everywhere.

  “Be still Tamara. Let me see your arm.”

  When she pulled away from the doctor, she’d struck her in the nose with her fist.

  “Don’t touch me Dr. Shavers! All of you are going to hell!” Dr. Shavers held her head back and tried to stop the flow of blood. She quickly grabbed some tissue from the bathroom.

  “You’re bleeding all over everywhere. Bring me some bandaids for her,” said Jeanette.

  “I don’t care! I don’t care! I’m calling the police. Y’all gave my baby away! She managed to build up enough strength to get up, and she pushed Jeanette to the side.