Niki Slobodian 03 - Before the Devil Knows You're Dead

by J. L. Murray

  “And what's that?”

  “Samael in the center of the war, leading the demons against the angels. Proof of the traitor's treason. A reason to escalate the war. To take the fight even further. Maybe even unmake the world.”

  “But that's why all those demons are out there, right?” I said. I barely recognized my own voice, high and harsh. “They're fighting the angels, or whatever is out there. Against Michael. Against his tyranny. Right?”

  “The Hellions are fighting just to fight,” said Eli. “There's no big cause. Sorry, Niki. They're just Hellions. That's what they do.”

  “How can Michael possibly kill everyone?” I said. “That's ridiculous.”

  “He put 'em all to sleep,” said Gage. “Pretty sure he can do whatever he wants.”

  “If Michael started killing without reason,” said Sam, leaning forward and looking into me with his dark eyes, “he would have no support. He would lose his generals, his angels, everyone. They would find him mad. Even now, I have the feeling he's barely holding them. That he put the humans to sleep is proof of that. His men refused to fight if there were human fatalities. That would be like going against the Creator Himself. But if I walk out into the fray, Michael will use that as proof that I am leading the Hellions. I don't know what Michael has planned. I don't know what weapons he has. I only know that my brother is focused on this horrible catastrophe. He considers it a triumph. And I have no doubt he is keeping a sharp eye on my whereabouts.”

  “So we're just going to sit here?” I said. I was breathing fast. I could feel the heat coming off of my body. “Just going to wait and see what happens?”

  “We have two options,” said Sam. “We can find the Creator, if He's still alive. We can find Him and somehow get Him to end this.” Sam frowned. “We don't even know where to start looking, though. He could be anywhere, be anything. He could be this bar and we wouldn't know it. He could be an angel, a demon, a human, a plant. He's the Creator. He is whatever He wants to be.”

  “What's the other option?” said Gage.

  “We go to Hell,” said Sam. He noticed my blank look and continued. “I'm not being facetious, Niki,” said Sam. “We go to Hell and talk to Lucifer. If he withdraws his Hellions, the angels will refuse to fight. It's their nature.”

  “It's not Michael's nature,” I said.

  “No,” he agreed, sadly. “Not any more.”

  Eli interrupted. “No one talks to Lucifer,” he said. “My father is the only one in Erebos who's even seen Lucifer in years. He won't see anyone else.”

  “Your father has seen my brother?” said Sam. Something like hope crossed his face.

  “Don't you know where he is?” said Gage.

  “I can feel all my brothers,” said Sam. “I know where they are, all of them. Always. But Lucifer, I haven't felt him in years, as if he disappeared. I knew he wasn't dead, but if your father can take us to him, we should go immediately.”

  “No,” I said. “I have to go to Sofi.”

  “Niki,” said Sam, an edge to his voice. “Be reasonable. This is the fate of the world.”

  “This is my godmother,” I said. There was heat spreading through my body. It burned and felt like I was on fire again. As if I had drunk all of the angelwine and now I was burning. “Goddamn it, Eli, this is Sofi we're talking about. Tell him.” I slammed my fist on the table and a white light exploded. There was a rush of dense air and Eli and Sam slammed back against the seat. Eli hunched over, trying to get his breath again. Sam just stared at me with incredulity. I looked at my hand. For a moment something that looked like a cross between mist and snow white fire licked the air just above my hand. A second later, it was gone.

  “I'm going to get her,” I said, slightly breathless. “You go to Hell. Don't wait for me.”

  Sam pursed his lips, his eyes searching me. When he spoke, his voice was so low I had to lean forward to hear him. “I did not bring you back from the dead just so you could get yourself killed. I violated my agreement with Michael to get you here. And if you die today...” He scowled at me. “Don't make me do it all over again.”

  I stared at him, surprised. “Sam, I'm sorry,” I said. “But it's Sofi.”

  “You're not listening,” he said, his voice a husky growl. “If you die, the world will be destroyed. Do you understand?”

  “No,” I said. “I don't.”

  Sam shook his head. “No matter,” he said. He glanced at Eli.

  “Sam, what the hell are you talking about?” I said. “Why will the world be destroyed?”

  “Because,” Sam said, leaning forward. “If you are in trouble, I will have no choice but to come and find you. And I have no control over what I would do to save you. No control, Niki. Do you understand now?”

  I held his eyes. “I understand,” I said. We stared at each other for a long moment. For just a second the thought occurred to me that if Sam were with me when the world ended, that wouldn't be so bad. Eli started to recover from the shock of my fist-pounding explosion, and began to cough. I looked at him. I'd forgotten he was there. I'd forgotten everything.

  Eli pounded his chest as he hacked, but he was looking from me to Sam with a strange expression on his face.

  “Eli, I'm sorry,” I said. “Are you okay? I didn't mean to do that.” I looked down at the table where I had slammed my fist. A huge crater had been formed, as if a bowling ball had been hurled there. I looked at Sam again. “Did I—”

  “I think we're all lucky it was just the table,” Sam said. He smiled, but his eyes remained somber, shifting, forms passing within them. There was a groan and I looked down at Gage, rubbing his head on the floor.

  “Bobby,” I said and jumped down to help him up. When he was on his feet he looked at me dubiously.

  “Damn, sis, warn a guy, would you?”

  “Sorry,” I said. “You okay?”

  “Yeah, just a bump,” he said. “But don't you go thinking you're going out there alone. I'm going with you.”

  “It's too dangerous,” I said.

  “On the contrary,” said Sam. “You'll need help out there. If I can't go with you, Mr. Gage should.” Sam nodded at Bobby appreciatively.

  “I'm going too,” said Eli. “If Niki's going to do this, someone's got to protect her.” He looked at me. “You think you're tough, Nik, but you can't do it all. There's carnage out there. You have no idea what you're walking into.”

  “I don't know if that's wise,” said Sam. “If word gets out that you have a demon protector, Niki, there could be repercussions.”

  “I won't attract any attention,” I said. “I just want to get to Sofi.”

  “You won't attract attention?” said Gage. I looked at him.

  “I'll be as quiet as a mouse,” I said.

  Eli joined Bobby in laughter. “Oh, Niki, we know you can't help it. But you're like a bull that goes into a china shop, blows everyone away, breaks all the china, and then kicks all the bodies for good measure.”

  “I'm not that bad,” I said. “I just run into trouble sometimes.”

  “Run over it, you mean,” said Gage. “And then you back up and shoot it in the head.”

  I looked at Sam, something suddenly occurring to me. “Are the ghosts still out there?”

  “Undoubtedly,” he said. “The barrier has not been lifted.”

  “Will they still be able to sense me?”

  “Possibly,” he said. “I'm not sure how they sensed you before, but it may even be worse now. They'll know you wherever you go. They may avoid you. But at this time, I doubt it. They will be desperate. Some of them may not even know what they're desperate for, but it won't stop them.”

  “Can I ask you something?” I said. I glanced at Gage, then looked back at Sam. “Is it possible for them to remember? I mean, for long periods of time. Like years.”

  “Not that I know of,” he said. “As soon as they leave the place that they died, their memories start to fade. It's slow but relentless.”

  “Wh
at if they don't leave the place they die?” I said.

  “It's rare,” Sam said, “but yes, if they stay they can keep their memories. But they will have to relive their death. They'll see it every time they look at the place they died.”

  I thought of my own death. When I died, I was consumed with a feeling of not being completely there in the world. I hadn't even left the place I died and I began to forget everything about my life, as if I had never been. I shivered. My bones ached just thinking about it. Bobby had been there and watched me die, helpless and sinking to his knees. I never wanted to feel that way again. I never wanted him to feel that much pain again.

  “You okay, sis?” said Gage.

  “I'm okay,” I said softly. “How soon can we be ready?”

  “I just need my book,” he said, holding it up.

  “Damn, you carry that thing around like a crucifix,” I said.

  He snorted. “Since when was a crucifix helpful?”

  I looked at Eli. “Ready when you are, Nik,” he said. He frowned at me. I thought he looked sad for a minute, but he smiled and his eyes flashed. “Let's get you to Sofi's.”

  “Do you have a car?” I said.

  Eli raised an eyebrow. An explosion shook the floor. “Gotta have roads to have cars. Ain't enough roads any more, sweetheart,” he said.

  I took a deep breath. I felt the fire in my chest vibrating with excitement, or panic, or fear. I had no choice. Sofi had given up her life to raise me. I'd been a stranger and she had given me nothing but love. If she died, it would be my fault.

  “Niki,” said Sam. He had stepped away from the rest of us. I walked over to him and looked up into his face. He looked worried. His eyes bore into mine and I let him. He shook his head. “You're a blank slate. Why is that?”

  “Excuse me?”

  “It's nothing really,” he said. “Just, I used to be able to read you, but now when I look into you, I only see you.”

  “I'm sorry you can't see into the privacy of my mind,” I said sarcastically.

  “You misunderstand me,” he said. “It's part of what I do to look into people. It's become a habit. Not seeing everything all at once, it's not a bad thing. It's refreshing.”

  I smiled. “Did you call me over to tell me that?”

  “No,” he said. His brow furrowed but he didn't look away. “Niki, I'm begging you to be careful. I don't want to see you like that ever again.”

  “You mean you're not going to stalk me today?” I said.

  He smiled nervously for a second. “No,” he said. “Michael will know if I'm in the world.”

  “Oh, right,” I said. “Brother senses, or whatever.”

  “We have a connection,” he said. “May I say something?”

  “I'm quiet now,” I said.

  “I don't remember this,” he said. He took my hand. It didn't feel shockingly hot as it used to. I realized, though, that it wasn't that Sam had cooled, but that I was radiating heat just as he had. That was odd. Sam was quiet for a few seconds.

  “Don't remember what?” I said.

  “I don't remember what it's like to fear for someone. To care about one person this much. I worry about humanity all the time, of course. But one being. Angel, demon or human. It's been so long...”

  “Sam, we can talk about this when I get back,” I said. I glanced at Eli who was painfully avoiding looking at us. We were far enough away that he probably couldn't make out what we were saying, but his body language was obvious.

  “I just want to ask you—to beg you—not to take any chances,” Sam said. “It's not just you that gets hurt.”

  “Oh, I forgot,” I said. “The whole world is at stake.”

  “Perhaps not,” he said. “But still, I'd rather you didn't make me choose.”

  “You made me choose,” I said.

  “Do you regret it?” he said.

  I listened as shots fired in the distance. I heard a cry nearby, muffled through the wall. I shook my head, unsure.

  “If there were no war,” Sam said, “no insanity caused by my brother. If it were just you and me and everything was back to normal, would you regret it? Or would you choose otherwise?”

  “I wouldn't regret it,” I said. “But there is war and insanity and nothing is normal. Nothing has ever been normal for me. And now it's worse. But sometimes I think...” I couldn't finish. I looked away. “I should go.”

  “Finish,” said Sam. “Sometimes you think what?”

  I looked at him. My cheeks reddened. “Sometimes when I look at you, I think that if the whole world disappeared, and it was just you and me, I'd be okay with that.” I shook my head. “I'm sorry, it's ridiculous.”

  “Why?” he said.

  “Because it is,” I said. “I shouldn't even be talking like this. You did something to my brain when you brought me back. Made it all mushy.”

  He smiled. “It's time to go,” he said.

  We rejoined the others waiting by the door. “Mr. Cooper, Mr. Gage, protect her.”

  Gage nodded, but Eli was staring hard at me. I avoided his eyes. He didn't deserve this. Gage opened the door and the latticework of purple lightning filled the world with a surreal light. The wind blew on us, not the stale wind of Limbo, but an Earth wind laced with the smell of electricity and dust and water.

  I felt Sam behind me. He bent towards me, his mouth by my ear. “Don't lose your temper, Miss Slobodian,” he whispered, his breath warm in my ear.

  “I'll try my damnedest,” I said. We stepped out of the bar and into chaos.

  Four

  The three of us stepped out of the bar and stood there, in an eerie silence, staring transfixed at a world transformed by war. The air smelled of electricity and smoke, and a sweet, coppery smell that could only be blood. The lightning in the sky bathed the world in a wicked purple light that made everything look like an ugly bruise. The warehouses had been flattened or blown down. Several were still burning, the remains of the fires mostly embers.

  I could see the river from here. There was no sound of boat horns or dock workers. I searched for familiar landmarks and realized Sasha's warehouse was gone too. Good riddance. I had far too many bad memories of that place.

  I could see the spirits. They looked even more lost than before. They wandered around, empty-eyed and sullen. They still avoided the places where the buildings had been, even though the buildings were no longer there, perhaps just keeping to the same wandering paths they were used to.

  I turned and looked at our route to my apartment. The road had been blasted away about a block down. A crater reminded me of the entrance to Hell that Abaddon had used only a few months ago. Cars lay on their sides, or upside down. I saw an old Nova slammed against a brick building. It looked like someone had been in the driver seat. I looked back at the Deep Blue Sea. The neon still flickered, same as always. I wondered if others could see it as I could. The brick of the building was smeared with a metallic, shiny liquid: angel blood. I saw several bodies lying by the side of the building, drag marks on the gravel where Eli had pulled them out of the way. They wore plain clothes, some sort of beige, gauzy fabric. They didn't have ornate armor like Camael and Michael. I didn't see any weapons. Their faces were the faces of boys. I glanced around for their spirits before remembering they were angels. The angels and the demons were still allowed to cross over. I was relieved I wouldn't have to look at their empty childlike faces.

  “They're so young,” I said. “Just kids. They're not even wearing anything to protect them.”

  “Trust me,” said Eli. “Even young, they have power. It wasn't innocent kids that I fought. They're raised to be warriors, and they fight to the last.”

  “Like you?” I said.

  “Are we ready or are we going to stand here all day?” Eli said.

  “I'm ready,” said Gage. “I've got a powerful protection spell. I can fend off anything.”

  I heard the ghosts' mutterings grow louder. Looking behind us I could see them sniffing the air. �
��Let's go,” I said. “The ghosts,” I said. “They know I'm here.”

  We were just passing the trench in the street, skirting around the edge, when the first blast lit up the sky. The crisscrossing lightning seemed to coalesce into a bright electric point, and then there was an explosion of light and sound and asphalt in front of us. A frigid blast of air made the skin on my face hurt. It happened in slow motion and I watched as a chunk of the pavement blew into the air and sailed toward us like an island in the sky. It fell, impossibly slow, and I was transfixed by it. Someone was screaming, and I was suddenly on the ground, Gage's big body on top of mine.

  I looked at where I had been standing and there was a giant chunk of road-covered earth. Eli was lying on the ground, his arm caught between the ground and the blown-up asphalt. I rolled out from under Gage and dashed over to him.

  “Eli, what happened?”

  “I was pushing you out of the way is what happened,” he yelled through gritted teeth. His face was a grimace of pain. “Bobby, can you get this thing off of me?”

  Gage muttered, his eyes flashing. The asphalt glowed slightly as it raised up just enough for Eli to pull his arm out, using his good arm to tug the useless flesh. It was mush. Gage gagged and turned his head away.

  “I'm sorry,” I said. “I don't know what's wrong with me.”

  “It's fine,” he said. I could see by the look on his face that he was not fine, though. Sweat was forming on his brow and pain filled his eyes. I watched as the little wounds and abrasions on his arm and hand – which looked more like hamburger than fingers – began to close up.

  “Will it heal?” I said.

  “Yeah, take an hour or so, though,” he said. “You two will have to go on ahead. I'll catch up.”

  “I can't leave you out here,” I said.

  “I'll go back to the Deep Blue Sea,” he said.

  “I'm so sorry,” I said.

  “We'll go with you,” said Gage.

  “No,” said Eli. “You have to get Sofi. She'll die if you leave her there. Get her out. Put a protection mumbo jumbo on her.” He glanced at me. “You would never forgive yourself. And I'd never hear the end of it.”