Niki Slobodian 03 - Before the Devil Knows You're Dead

by J. L. Murray

  “Nothing,” I said. “We're friends.”

  Gage snorted. “Wish I had a friend like that.”

  “It's good. I can take it,” said Eli. “Just tell me.”

  “Nothing,” I said, an edge to my voice. “And if one more person asks me I'm going to get very upset.”

  “She's got a point,” said Gage. “You should have seen what she did last time she got mad.”

  I smiled at Gage and rose from the table. “I have to eat,” I said. I made some scrambled eggs and split them among three plates. The two men barely touched theirs. I wolfed mine down and ate their leftovers.

  “Feeling better?” said Gage. “I think you just ate ten pounds of eggs.”

  “I was starving,” I said. “Maybe because of, you know, that thing I did.”

  “I'm always hungry after a big casting,” said Gage. “Takes a lot out of you.”

  “You figure anything out?” I said. “About Sofi, I mean.”

  Gage's eyes lit up. “I had an idea,” he said. “I can take her out of the city. The fighting's mostly happening here for now, right?”

  “For now,” agreed Eli. “But Sam thinks it will spread soon. The war has taken on a life of its own. The soldiers want to avenge their dead.”

  “Gage, I told you I don't want you taking Sofi outside. She needs to stay inside.”

  “That's the idea," he said. "What if I could move inside somewhere else?”

  “What do you mean?” I said. “Like move the apartment?”

  “It's a dangerous spell, and I've never done it before, so I don't think I want to just cast on the two of us. But the building could work. I can leave little bits and pieces of it along the way without hurting anyone.”

  “Bits and pieces?” I said. “So if you casted on people, that could happen?”

  “Yup,” said Gage.

  “Sounds unpleasant,” said Eli.

  “What about the other people in the building?” I said. “Would they get hurt?”

  “Nope. We could lose, you know, bits of brick and plumbing from the outside of the building. But everyone else inside the building would be safe, too. That's the bonus.”

  “Where would you take her?” I said.

  “That's the tricky part,” said Gage. “It's not really specific.”

  “So you don't know where you'll end up?” I said.

  “You can choose a basic direction,” said Gage. “I would want to aim west so we don't end up in the middle of the ocean. But the distance depends on the ability of the Caster.”

  “And what's your ability?” said Eli.

  “One of the best as far as I know.” said Gage.

  “Modest, too,” said Eli, smirking.

  “He's pretty good,” I said. “He opened up Hell. I can't imagine that's too easy.”

  Gage shrugged. “I ain't going to pretend to be modest. It is what it is.”

  “So, what?” I said. “You could end up in Kansas?”

  “It's possible we could go that far,” said Gage. “But we probably wouldn't. The main goal is to get Sofi out of danger, right? This is our safest shot. Unless you want me to take her to Hell. I can do that too.”

  “No,” I said. “You're right. For now the fighting is in the city. The further away from the city, the better. But, Bobby, is it safe?”

  “She'll be fine,” he said.

  “No, I mean, is it safe for you? I know how hard these big spells hit you. This seems like a huge one.”

  “That it is,” he said. “I'll be fine. Besides, it's important to you.”

  I looked at Gage for a long time. Then I reached out and put my arms around him. I hugged his big body. It seemed to take him by surprise. He just stood there for a second, then, slowly, he hugged me back. I stepped back awkwardly.

  “Thank you,” I said.

  “You're welcome, sis,” Gage said, looking at me. He looked puzzled.

  “I should shower,” I said, looking at Eli. “Then we can go.”

  “That might be difficult,” said Eli.

  “Why?”

  “The water stopped running right after we made the coffee,” said Gage.

  “Why is the power still running?” I said.

  “Dunno,” said Gage. “Maybe it's automated. Doesn't need humans to work.”

  “Well, at least I can change my clothes,” I said. I found a pair of jeans and an old T-shirt and slipped them on. There was a duffel bag in the back of my closet and I stuffed it with more pants and shirts. Then I reached into the top of my closet and took down a box, grunting under its weight. I dropped it on the bed and the contents clanked together. I pulled out an old Glock that Eli gave me when we were dating. I checked the clip and tucked the pistol into my pants. It might not kill any of these bastards, but it sure made me feel better to have it in my hand. New powers or no, there was nothing quite like the heft of a handgun to make you feel safe. I thought about taking my rifle, but decided it would be too awkward to carry. I wished I still had Sasha's Makarov, but I lost it when I died. Even if the H&H Financial building was still standing, it was too far a detour.

  I started to zip up my duffel, then, eying the box, I grabbed the pearl Taurus and threw it in my bag. Just in case.

  I left my bedroom and entered Sofi's room. Of course, she hadn't moved. She looked so natural I kept expecting her to sit up and ask me if I wanted tea. I sat down on the bed.

  “I love you, Baba,” I said. “Gage is going to take you somewhere where you'll be safe. I don't think...” I closed my eyes. If she could hear me I had to get this right. “I haven't been the best person, Sofi. I'm trying, but it's been hard. The world makes you cold sometimes. I'm trying really hard, but I'm not doing a very good job.” I took a breath. “I died, Sofi. For real. Some people wanted to hurt me. You, Sasha, other people, too. I fought them and I died. It was my decision. Then Sam showed up and gave me a choice of whether or not to come back. I chose to live. It was just so cold, I couldn't stand it. No, that isn't right,” I said, “It wasn't just the cold. It was that it was nothing. No feeling, no memories, no joy. And I couldn't leave you. Not like that.”

  I put a hand lightly on Sofi's stomach, feeling her breath rising and falling. “So now there's this war. Michael started it. He's an Archangel, only he's not good, like in the stories. He wanted a reason for war, so he's blaming Sam and me. It's so senseless. So much violence. More than I can comprehend. Just so much death. You're lucky you're asleep, it would break your heart. We are doing everything we can to stop it. I don't know how we can do it, but we have to try. I thought that maybe I just needed to die again, but it's probably too late, that might not make a difference any more. I might have to fight for our world.” I watched Sofi for a minute. “If I die, Sofi, I want you to know I did everything I could. I'll use everything I have to stay alive. For you. I can see now how selfish it is to just think I can keep risking my life, keep dying, and that's that. It's not just about me, is it? There's you and Gage and even Eli when he's not being all demonic. And Sam.” I shook my head. “I want to tell you about Sam, but I'm not ready yet. I don't think I can explain it right now.

  “I have to go now, Sofi. I love you.” I rose and looking back at her tiny form on the big bed, I left the room, closing the door behind me.

  I walked into the kitchen where the two men were working quickly. Gage and Eli had pulled every package of food out of the cupboards and pantry. Eli was peering into the freezer.

  “What the hell are you two doing?” I said.

  “Rounding up grub,” said Gage. “Dunno how long I'll be who-knows-where. And all you have are a bunch of packages of noodles, a bottle of whiskey that's nearly gone, and a couple of cans of soda.”

  “Oh, I got you covered,” I said. I walked to the closet in the living room. It was meant to be a coat closet, but I had it filled with something else. I opened the door and Gage and Eli came to peer over my shoulders.

  “Goddamn,” said Gage.

  “Niki,” said Eli. “I did
n't know you were one of those.”

  “One of what?” I said.

  “You know, those end-times people.”

  “You say that like it's a bad thing,” I said. “When I was on the Registry, money was running out. New Government was getting stronger and stronger, and Abbies were allowed to do less and less. I stocked up a little. Just in case.”

  “A little?” said Eli. I saw his point. From floor to ceiling were buckets of dried food, cases of water and sports drinks, even a tiny propane stove. There were boxes of cans containing everything from carrots to meat. It was an impressive cache.

  “I just didn't know you were crazy,” said Gage.

  “Why is it crazy?” I said.

  He shrugged. “You know. The end is nigh, stock up your food and water to get ready for the Rapture.”

  The lights flickered off. I heard the refrigerator stop running. I reached over and flicked the light switch on and off with no result.

  “So, Bobby, you were saying it was crazy to stock up on food and water?” I said. “Because society couldn't possibly break down. Please, continue.”

  “Smartass,” said Gage.

  “How will we find you?” I said. “If we can end the war, I mean.”

  Gage shrugged and gave me a lopsided smile. “I'll figure something out. And Niki?”

  “Yeah?”

  “You'll end it,” said Gage. “If I know anything about you, it's that you won't stop until you finish. No matter what it takes. Just try not to die this time.” His face grew serious. “Really, sis. I don't know if I could take it again.”

  I nodded. “Okay, Bobby.” He squeezed me in his bear hug. I was careful not to touch skin.

  Gage shambled over to embrace Eli and say goodbye. “If I'm going to do this, I need to do it now, before I lose my nerve.”

  I picked up my duffel bag and slung it over my shoulder. “Ready?” said Eli.

  “I think so,” I said. I glanced at Sofi's door. If I went in there again, I might not be able to leave.

  “She's going to be okay, Nik,” said Eli. He touched my hand, and before I pulled away from him, more images flashed through my mind: A city, dark and bright at the same time; a remembrance of pain; a demon with his face caved in; an image of me talking to Sam in the bar, Sam's face close to mine.

  “Niki?” Eli said.

  “It's nothing,” I said. “Let's go.” Eli opened the door and stepped out into the hall. I looked at Gage. He had his casting book out. He blinked at me. “Keep her safe, Bobby,” I said.

  “I will,” he said. I nodded and followed Eli.

  We stepped out into the street and I felt numb except for the power in my chest. It grew a little hotter, a little bigger. I averted my eyes from my dead neighbors.

  “You okay?” said Eli. He was frowning at me. I looked up at his horns. I remembered the time before he'd had them. Before the Registry. I had loved this man, or so I thought. Looking at him now, though, I felt nothing. He was practically a stranger. Only weeks ago I had been willing to try again with him. But the old Eli Cooper was gone. I didn't even know who this person was any more. A scream nearby was suddenly cut off and followed by silence. There was a wet thud, then the sound of running. A gunshot far away. A battle cry of many voices in unison. Thick black smoke filled the sky. The smell of charred flesh.

  “I just want this to end,” I said.

  We began to walk, our silence only seeming to feed the sounds the city was making now. There were no explosions, no falling buildings, and the light was no longer like a raw bruise. But somehow it was worse. The blood was dark red instead of a surreal tinted darkness. The dead glared at us through unseeing eyes. Humans, angels, demons. It was a nightmare of death and destruction and chaos, except it was no nightmare. It was more real than anything I had ever seen.

  I looked at Eli. His eyes flicked around, taking it all in. But instead of hopelessness and disgust, he looked excited. I didn't know this man at all. My Eli Cooper did not love death and feed on violence. Eli Cooper was depressed for days when he killed someone on the job. Eli Cooper was gone.

  The ground began to shake and I immediately looked at the sky. But the lightning was still gone. No columns of light. But an odd glow came from my building. The shaking intensified, the glow grew brighter. I shielded my eyes and I must have blinked, because my home was suddenly gone. An empty space between a pile of rubble and a brick building stared at us. An unattached basement saw light for the first time in years, the square, broken off cement of the foundation ragged and crumbling just above the ground.

  “Let's just get back to Sam,” I said.

  Seven

  I tried not to think of Sofi as we walked back to the Deep Blue Sea. I tried not to remember the private memories I had seen. I tried not to think about the fact that she had been secretly dying all this time. I thought Sam had cured her. He promised he would. Had he lied? Then I tried not to think about Sam, about being drawn to him, drawn into his world. Why had he brought me back? All this, for one single person in a world full of people. He should have let me go. He should have let me stay dead. I didn't understand anything anymore.

  The ghosts were still keeping their distance, but I wondered how long it would be before they forgot why they were staying away from me. Eli saw me looking around at them, gauging the distance.

  “The ghosts still there?” he said.

  “They're there. They're always there.”

  We came around the corner, the noise growing louder. We saw why. There was more fighting going on now. It seemed like the demons and angels had multiplied by ten. Eli walked beside me, his posture taut. His eyes danced at the violence. He was ready to fight. Even though it was to protect me, I felt slightly sick.

  Angel blood sprayed across a group of demons as they slashed open an angel's jugular with a long, jagged blade. They screamed in victory. A group of angels, running so fast they were a blur, landed on the demons with heavy club-like weapons covered in spikes. They beat the demons until their bodies were unrecognizable. I watched them as we approached. Eli made a sound like a snarl. The angels seemed to sense something, and their heads turned towards me in unison. Their triumphant faces went down in a fearful bow of the head and they backed away, gone as quickly as they had come.

  “Why do they do that?” I said.

  “Do what?” said Eli.

  “It's like they're afraid of me,” I said. “Why?”

  “I don't know, Nik,” he said distractedly. “Maybe they can smell your new boyfriend on you.”

  I looked at him sharply. “Sam and I are not involved,” I said. “And I'm really sick of people saying we are.”

  He held up his hands in surrender. “Look, it's your business, I get it. But I can see it. I know what love looks like. At least I thought I did.” Bitterness dripped from his voice.

  “I don't love Sam,” I said. “I barely know him.”

  “I wasn't talking about you,” he said.

  The ground shook as something large came flying through the air. Whatever it was, it was screaming. It came right at me, so fast I couldn't even tell what it was. Instinctively, I closed my eyes and put my hands out, my chest and arms growing hot.

  “Niki,” said Eli, his voice soft. I opened my eyes. “How are you doing that?”

  The white substance, part smoke, part fire and blindingly white, was flowing out of my palms. My hands tingled like pins and needles. The mist encircled something in midair, right in front of my face. Through the bright, shining fog, a face looked out at me. A terrified face. The face of an angel. Up the street, in front of a crater that took up the whole street was a massive demon, his skin a mottled blue. He looked like he was made of stone. He was frozen for a moment, looking at us, then he turned and headed away at a fast walk.

  I looked at the angel's face. He was blinking fast and shaking his head, his red curls plastered to his face from sweat. I realized I had my hands out still and clenched them into fists and dropped them to my sides. The an
gel fell to the ground, the shining white that had surrounded him dissipating instantly. I looked at my fists. They were still encircled with the stuff.

  Eli was staring at me. I realized that he had only seen me pound a fist on the table and knock Gage for a loop. “Oh yeah,” I said. “I do that now.”

  “Your eyes,” he said.

  “Yeah, they're white. Get over it.” I looked at the angel on the ground. He was panting and staring at me. He started to scramble to his feet. “Wait,” I said. He froze, his bright blue eyes widening. I crouched down in front of him. “Why are you afraid of me?”

  The angel looked panic-stricken from me to Eli and back again. He looked at my hands and swallowed hard.

  “Um, Nik?” said Eli. “Because you just did some major voodoo and scared the crap out of him.”

  “No,” I said. “Everyone's afraid of me. Why?”

  The angel shook his head, confused. “Why?” he said, his voice small and shaky. “You're Death. Everyone's afraid of Death.”

  “I'm not Death,” I said. “I know Death. He's an angel.”

  The angel looked baffled. “I'm sorry,” he said. He stood up slowly, warily, then backed away, afraid to take his eyes from me. Then he turned and ran. He wasn't as fast as some of the others I had seen. He wasn't a blur, but he was fast enough. And I didn't feel like going after him, at any rate. I stood up and looked at Eli.

  “What the hell was he talking about?” I said.

  “I don't know,” said Eli. “But there is something funny about you now. I can't put my finger on it. Maybe I can't see it because I know you.” He frowned. “Or knew you. Before, I mean.”

  “Are you afraid of me?” I said.

  He smiled. “I've always been afraid of you.”

  We walked. Through the smoke pouring out of a bodega, around meteor-sized divots in the street, past cars either abandoned or containing people so deep in sleep it may as well have been a coma. We passed killing of every sort, past fighting demons and angels covered in blood, always pausing when they noticed me there. I made my eyes cold, and tried to stare straight ahead. Sam was right, ending the war was the only way to stop all this. But the thought of Sam made me feel cold all over. Sofi was dying. Hellions and angels alike thought I was Death. I had this thing inside me that I had no idea how to control. Sofi was dying, Sofi was dying, Sofi was dying.