Niki Slobodian 03 - Before the Devil Knows You're Dead

by J. L. Murray

  Lucifer walked back to Sam. “My power is in the Afterlife, Samael. Justice, penance, paying for one's sins. I have no wish to get involved in this pettiness.”

  “What do you know,” said Sam slowly, “about the Creator?”

  Lucifer almost smiled. “The dead speak, you know,” he said. “If you listen, they never shut up.” He nodded at me. “She knows it. I hear them, too. Maybe you as well, brother. You hear such things when you listen. And I've been listening for such a long time. I've heard things that would chill your blood. Things that would make you wish for the end of the world, as I do.”

  “You've been here too long,” said Sam. “It's making you mad.”

  “No,” said Lucifer. “It's made me awake.”

  “There must be good things, too,” I said. “What about love? Family? Hope?”

  Lucifer nodded. “I see that in you, child,” he said. “Something old, when there was hope. You're a sinner, make no mistake. But you want redemption, don't you? Quite badly, I think.”

  “It's not about me,” I said.

  “Isn't it?” said Lucifer. “What was Michael's reason for starting the war?”

  “There was no reason. There was only a pretext,” said Sam. “You said it yourself, Lucifer. He is a child.”

  “You brought her back,” said Lucifer. “You broke your agreement with him, with all of us. He had every right to punish you, as foolish as this war may be. ”

  “You can't really think that he was justified in this,” said Sam. He narrowed his eyes. “He is killing, Lucifer. He has been killing for a long time. How do any of my actions give him any right to murder? Manipulate? Conceal? Lie?” Sam pointed a finger in Lucifer's face. “You've been with the dead too long, brother. It's made you cold.”

  “What you did,” said Lucifer, “violated everything the Creator stood for.”

  “It did not,” said Sam heatedly.

  “Why?” said Lucifer. “Because you believe that you did it for love?” Sam looked at me, then looked quickly away. “Some kinds of love can be selfish, Samael. You did this for yourself.”

  “As did you, Lucifer,” said Sam softly. “Didn't you?”

  Lucifer was quiet. He looked at Sam and I saw sadness in his eyes. “You could have learned from my mistake, Samael.”

  “I do not think either of us made a mistake,” said Sam. “What have you heard about the Creator?”

  “It's nothing but hearsay and gossip,” said Lucifer. “Ramblings of the dead.”

  “Just goddamn tell us what you know,” I said. Lucifer and Sam looked at me in surprise. “Quit bickering. You're giving me a goddamn headache.”

  “Very well,” said Lucifer. “From the pieces I have gathered from the souls of humans, and the souls of angels—”

  “Angels?” said Sam. “Have you been to Briah?”

  “Yes,” said Lucifer. “Long ago. Before Michael stopped letting me tend to the souls.”

  “The Creator?” I said, irritated.

  “Patience is not one of your virtues,” said Lucifer.

  “Never said it was,” I said.

  He sighed. “All that I have heard suggests that the Creator is in the world.”

  “That doesn't make sense,” I said. “Wouldn't Sam know? Don't you guys get all tingly?”

  Sam looked at me and raised an eyebrow. “I can sense my brothers, yes.” He turned to Lucifer. “I imagine I would be able to sense if the Creator were in the world.”

  “Would you?” said Lucifer. “I understand you do not even remember him.”

  “What does that have to do with anything?” said Sam.

  “Do you not think it odd?” said Lucifer. “We all remember. Why don't you?”

  He had struck a nerve. Sam glowered at him. “I would know if the Creator were in the world,” he snapped. “I would know.”

  “Not if he were human,” said Lucifer.

  There was a stunned moment of silence as we considered his words.

  “Oh yes,” said Lucifer. “I imagine he has died thousands of times by now. Or maybe never. Perhaps when he takes on a human form he does not even remember us. ”

  “Hang on,” I said. “How is this even possible? Why would the Creator go to the world in the first place? I mean, he's God, right? What's the point?”

  “The Creator loves the world,” said Lucifer. “When He made it, it was beautiful, pure. The humans were almost like his pets then. He would watch them for days. He taught them small things, and they were able to learn more on their own. They started making tools. Hunting. Building their own shelters and houses. Making things. It fascinated Him. He sent angels down to watch over them, keep them from harm. The Watchers.”

  “So He went there because He loved it so much?” I said.

  “I believe He wanted to experience exactly what it was like to be human,” said Lucifer. “It is one thing to know your Creation as the Creator. It is quite another thing to be the Creation and to experience it completely.” He narrowed his eyes at me. “You've seen Him.”

  “What?” I said. “No I haven't. I'd know if I'd seen Him.”

  “Would you?” said Lucifer. “He's been human for a long time. He probably doesn't even remember who he is.”

  I looked at Sam. “Did you see him?” said Sam. “Did you see anything unusual when you went out?”

  “Only a bunch of angels and demons killing each other for no reason,” I said. “And killer purple lightning, of course.”

  “Think harder, girl,” said Lucifer. “You know more than you think.”

  “Oh,” I said suddenly.

  “Oh?” said Sam.

  “There was a man,” I said. “Bobby got hurt and this man came. He was wearing a sweater.” I frowned trying to remember. “I heard voices. Singing. It was the most beautiful music. He was scared, kept talking about his family.”

  “Family?” said Sam.

  “Yes,” I said. “He kept saying he didn't understand. And then he healed Bobby.”

  “Is that all?” said Sam.

  “Well, he seemed human,” I said. “He was an Abby, I thought, but human.”

  “And?” said Sam, not seeing the point.

  “I didn't think about it then,” I said. “But all the humans were asleep.”

  Sam was silent for a moment. “If the Creator is indeed human,” said Sam, “what is he doing in that city at that time?”

  “You did skew the balance,” said Lucifer.

  “The balance was already skewed,” said Sam.

  “Then you grabbed the balance and hurled it into the sea,” said Lucifer. “You know what has to happen, don't you?” Lucifer's lip curled. “She has to die. The war will end when her life ends as well. Her death must be public. And it must be by your hand, brother.”

  “Stop it,” hissed Sam. “Stop this, Lucifer.”

  “You came to me for help, did you not?” said Lucifer. “I'm giving you specific directions. How to end a war in minutes. Kill the girl.” He studied me. “It won't be simple. She won't die easily. It will take a great amount of force, I think. A pity. I'd like to figure out what she is.”

  “Nobody is killing Niki,” said Sam. “There must be another way.”

  “There is,” said Lucifer. “Find the Creator.” He leaned forward to look into my eyes, and repeat emphatically: “Find Him. Bring Him back.”

  “How?” I said. “How do you find a god that doesn't want to be found?”

  “You'll know, Niki Slobodian,” said Lucifer. “In the end.”

  “Niki?” said Sam. “Why will Niki know?”

  “She just will,” said Lucifer. “I don't know the why. I just know that she will be there at the end.” He looked at Sam. “Unless you kill her, of course.”

  Sam looked hard at his brother. “Will you help?” said Sam. “Can you help us find the Creator, Lucifer?”

  “No,” said Lucifer. “But you're right. I need to leave this place. I've suffered on my own long enough. It's time to go home and take acti
on.”

  “So you'll help?” said Sam.

  “I'll help,” said Lucifer. “But you may not like it.”

  “Why?” I said. “Why won't he like it?”

  “Ask Samael about the Scourges,” Lucifer said to me.

  Sam was stunned and visibly shaken. “No, brother,” said Sam. “Please.”

  “It's time the world was cleansed,” said Lucifer. “If I set them free, it stands to reason that the Creator will be the only one left. He'll be easy to find then.”

  “Oh my God,” said Sam. He pressed his hand over his mouth like he was going to be sick.

  “What are the Scourges?” I said.

  “If you don't restore the balance one way or the other,” said Lucifer, “I will set them loose. You may want to hide her, brother. The Arches will be safe, of course. But whatever she is, it will be interesting to see if they will consume her with all the humans.”

  “Don't do this,” said Sam, shaking his head. “You can't do this.”

  “I can,” said Lucifer. “In fact, it's my purpose, isn't it? One of them, anyway.”

  “It will unmake you, brother,” said Sam. “Please.”

  “Perhaps,” said Lucifer. “If it does, so be it. I'll give you two days.”

  “Two days to stop a war?” said Sam. “If you had been where you were supposed to be, your Hellions wouldn't be fighting right now and there would be no war.”

  “If you hadn't brought Niki back from the dead, Michael wouldn't have had an excuse to start one.”

  “You of all people should know, brother,” said Sam. “You should know how it feels. And the consequences of walking away.”

  “Walking away is the right thing to do,” said Lucifer, but there was bitterness to his voice. “It's the natural way of things. People die. Even when you love them. Even when the pain is unbearable and you cannot watch.” Lucifer turned his back to us. “Two days,” he said over his shoulder. And he walked back the way he had come. The souls flickered as he went.

  “Sam?” I said. Sam was staring after his brother, a look of utter shock on his face. “What are the Scourges?”

  Sam looked at me slowly. His eyes were red and for a moment I thought he would cry. It was odd to see him that way. Like he could break. “What?” he said.

  “What are the Scourges?” I said.

  He closed his eyes for a moment, then opened them to look at me. “They're the end,” he said.

  “The end of what?” I said.

  “The end of the world.”

  Twelve

  “You have to kill me,” I said. We were going up the long flight of stairs that led back to the road to Erebos. “It's the only logical thing to do.”

  “Don't be stupid,” said Sam. “I'm not going to kill you. That was Lucifer taunting me.”

  “It makes sense,” I said. “I said it myself, before. I'm the reason Michael declared war, right? So if you kill me, he won't have an excuse.”

  “He'll find another one,” said Sam. “It makes no difference.”

  “But it won't be because of me,” I said.

  “That's selfish,” he said. “I'm not killing you, Niki. End of conversation.”

  “Lucifer was right,” I said. “It was selfish of you to bring me back. You should have let me stay dead.”

  Sam froze in mid-step on the stairs. He looked slowly round at me. I had hurt him, I knew. But all this death. It wasn't right. I couldn't stand the fact that it was my fault. “Yes,” said Sam, his voice low. “It was selfish. I'm sorry. It was selfish of me to not tell you what you were getting yourself into. I didn't know myself. Not really. It was selfish to see you there, dead on the floor. It was selfish to feel like my soul had shriveled and become as cold and black as your body was.” He was very close to me and I felt dizzy. His dark eyes were in front of mine, shifting and full of pain. I braced myself against the wall behind me so I wouldn't slip on the stairs. “It was selfish, Niki. I know it. You know it. The whole damn world knows it.” There was an angry edge to his voice. “And the hell with them all. I wouldn't take it back. I honored my agreement with Michael the entire time that I was in the world. I followed the rules, I did my job to the letter. But for you, I would do it. In a second, in a half a heartbeat, I would go back and do it all over again. I love the world. I chose it over Heaven, chose it over Hell. But for a single chance, Niki...” He shook his head, swallowed heavily, as if he had something in his throat. “You have to know, to keep you alive, I would let it all burn.”

  It was hard to breathe. “Why?” I said.

  “I don't know,” he said. There was an earnestness to his voice, as though he'd thought about it before and couldn't work it out himself. “Because you're not afraid.”

  “Afraid of you?” I said. “Why would I be afraid of you?”

  “Everyone's afraid of me,” said Sam. I knew it was true. But I had never thought of Sam that way. Even after I knew who he was. What he was. The angel of death. To me, he was always just Sam.

  “So because I don't run away from you, because I don't bow down when I see you, that's why you'd let the whole world go to shit? Seems a little flimsy.”

  “No,” said Sam, his voice echoing in the stairwell. “That's not all.”

  “Oh,” I said. He was so close. I could smell him, feel his heat. I hated myself a little for liking it. For more than liking it. For craving him, his closeness, his heat.

  “You're fearless.”

  “You said that already,” I whispered.

  “Everything you do, you do with every inch of your soul. You don't back down. You have passion, even when everything around you is vile and ugly. You're so human that it takes my breath away. You shine in all this darkness. Even before.”

  “I'm not human,” I said. “You said so.” I didn't know how he was doing this to me. Some kind of magic trick. I always had something to say. Some last line. That's just how it was. I was horrible in an argument, and I was never wrong. I could barely speak, though. I felt the white stuff inside me spinning around my chest, making me dizzy, lightheaded. I saw the reflection of my own eyes in Sam's dark ones, growing brighter like adding gas to a flame. He was so close, but I didn't trust myself to move. I might topple down the stairs.

  “No, not human,” he said. He reached up and touched my hair with a finger. “Something much more.” Then his lips were on mine. Hot and burning. If I weren't just as hot as he was, he might have scorched me. I felt the power in me lurch up and reach out, out of my chest and hands and out from under my closed eyelids. I felt it wrap around Sam, pulling him closer. He was so solid, so warm against my body. He pulled me further towards him even when we were as close as we could be. I couldn't breathe, but I didn't want to. I didn't need to. I just wanted to stay here with him forever.

  He raised his head, gasping for air. “Niki,” he said. “Too tight.”

  I realized the tendrils that had wrapped around him were crushing him. “Sorry,” I said, forcing them back into my body. They were easier to control now. At least when I remembered to. Sam smiled. I looked at him. “People are dying, Sam,” I said.

  “I know,” he said, his face growing solemn again. He took a step back. “I know.”

  “It's my fault.”

  “No,” he said. “It's Michael. Not you. You must stop thinking that.”

  “You're not going to kill me, are you?” I said. He didn't answer. Just looked at me. “I didn't think so,” I said.

  “Niki,” Sam said. “Would you know the Creator if you saw him again?”

  “Of course,” I said.

  “He's in the city,” he said. “Your city.” Sam's face grew excited, his eyes dancing. “I think we can find him.”

  “It's a big city, Sam,” I said. “And there's a war on.”

  “A little bit of detective work?” he said, raising an eyebrow. “This is right up your alley, Ms. Slobodian.”

  “So it is,” I said. “Well-played. Fine, let's go scour a major metropolitan city for a f
rightened man with a potbelly wearing a green sweater vest. But first tell me something. What are the Scourges, exactly?”

  He looked down at his hands and breathed out through his nose. He looked at me. “The Creator made many things, including your world. Before he made the humans, he made the Scourges. They were meant to be an emergency measure in case things went bad. I don't remember, but it is told in Briah, passed down from generation to generation.”

  “Maybe it's just a story,” I said.

  “They have no stories in Briah,” said Sam. “They tell only things that have passed. The Scourges are great beasts. There are three of them. Behemoth, Leviathan and Ziz. One for the earth, one for the sea, and one for the air.”

  “What do they do?” I said.

  “They destroy,” he said, his eyes suddenly tired and cold. “They consume everyone in their path that has even thought of sinning. Anyone who has ever entertained an impure thought, considered hurting another person, blasphemed, committed adultery, killed, thought about killing, spoken back to an elder...shall I go on?”

  “I think I get the idea,” I said. “Basically everyone on the planet.”

  “Yes,” he said. “It was never meant to be used, unless something went horribly awry.”

  “Like a war?” I said.

  “No,” he said. “Not even then.”

  “Then why is Lucifer using them?” I said. “Why is he allowed to do this?”

  “Lucifer was the Creator's favorite,” said Sam. “He used to have ideas, dreams. Lucifer had integrity. He offered solutions to problems. He was strong in the face of adversity. He was so strong. Stronger than any of us. He was to be in control of the souls after Judgment Day, if that day ever came. I doubt it would have, had the Creator stayed. But Lucifer had the power to set it in motion. Maybe, even then, the Creator knew He would be gone.” Sam laughed bitterly. “How could anyone know that the best of us would go mad?” he said, looking slightly crazy himself. He ran a hand through his hair and shook his head. He looked at me. “How could we know?” he said.

  “Stop it,” I said. I reached out my hand and he took it. “We'll stop him. I don't know how, but we'll stop him. He said if we end the war he won't set them loose, right?”