Christmas Project, The

by Morrey, Maxine

  ‘She doesn’t need an audience.’

  He tilted his head down at her. ‘Jesus, you’re bossy.’ But there was nothing but adoration in his eyes. OK, there was a little mischief there too.

  ‘See you later,’ he smiled.

  I gave a wave and they both left, leaving the snoozing dog and me to our thoughts and a much needed shower.

  When I got back I could immediately see the sheets had been changed and a steaming cup of something sat on the bedside. Mentally I made a note to send Janey the biggest bouquet of flowers I could find when I got back home. The hot herbal tea instantly soothed as I snuggled into the freshly plumped pillows. I closed my eyes and sipped the tea.

  Pilot had now moved his head and was now sounding less like a pneumatic drill. His steady, even breathing added to the calm I’d felt developing inside me ever since Michael and I had talked about the whole Calum thing. I’d hated hiding the truth from him, although how much I’d hated it still surprised me. Perhaps it was because I detested lying so much. And yet I’d found myself doing just that in order to prevent him putting an end to the organisation process – a process I knew was working for him, and making Janey happy. That had to be the reason. There wasn’t really any other explanation.

  They say that bacon sandwiches have been the downfall of many an ex-vegetarian. From the smell drifting up this morning, I totally got that. Not that I’d ever been a vegetarian. I freely admitted to loving bacon sandwiches far too much to ever give them up. Although I was feeling so much better than two days ago, even this morning’s ablutions had made me feel like I’d just spent three hours prepping for the next Olympics. I sat on the bed, waiting for the burst of energy that I knew would come eventually if I concentrated hard enough on it. Or not.

  A knock on the door made me look up.

  ‘Come in.’

  Michael’s head peeked around the door.

  ‘Are you decent?’

  ‘It’s a bit late if I’m not, isn’t it?’ I laughed as Pilot charged in through the door. He bounded up beside the bed and stood there, tail whacking the duvet, with a big, happy look on his face. This was what I loved about dogs: You could be gone for two minutes and they would greet you like it had been weeks. I rubbed his head and he did his little four paw bounce thing until Michael told him to sit, which he did, one side of his body pressed into the bed.

  His master entered the room at a more sedate pace, carrying a tray. As I glanced up I felt a whoosh of heat hit my chest and zoom up my face.

  ‘You all right?’ he asked, concern in his voice. ‘Still getting those hot and cold flashes? Hopefully it’s on its way out now though.’

  ‘Mmmhmm.’ I smiled and dropped my gaze back to the dog for a moment, willing my colour back to normal. The truth was I was pretty sure the reason for my sudden temperature fluctuation was far more basic, and more to do with the fact that one of the most good-looking men I had ever met was now stood at my bedside, bearing a thick bacon sandwich that smelled divine. In fact, there was a split second when I wondered if the whole bug thing had actually been a little more serious than I thought and I’d passed on: There was a gorgeous man, a lovely dog, a comfy bed and bacon sarnies. If Heaven doesn’t contain those things, then frankly I was far less keen to go. And then Pilot did something that confirmed I was still firmly earthbound.

  ‘Holy shit, Pilot,’ Michael cried, shoving the long sleeve of his T-shirt over his nose and hurriedly leading the dog out of the room. I meanwhile had slid back under the duvet which was now pressed against my face, just my eyes peeping over the top.

  ‘Sorry.’ Michael’s voice was muffled by the fabric and his arm when he spoke. He pointed at the window. ‘Just for a minute.’

  I nodded vigorously.

  Thankfully the air interchange was swift and effective, and, actually, it was pretty nice to breathe in the cool air after the last couple of days.

  ‘I’m so sorry about that. I’d say I don’t know what’s got into him, but I think I do. Janey and Patrick were overjoyed that my nephew finally ate his Brussel sprouts for the first time at dinner last night. I didn’t say anything, but I’m fairly confident Joey wasn’t the one who ate them.’ He pulled the window closed again, and I emerged from the duvet, whereupon Michael handed me the sandwich.

  ‘Does Joey know you know?’ I asked, taking a bite of the sandwich.

  He screwed up his nose for a second. ‘I’ve a horrible feeling I might have been the one to give him the idea.’

  I tilted my head for an explanation as I chewed on the sandwich, which tasted even better than it had smelled.

  ‘A while ago we were all talking about this old dog we used to have back home, when we were kids. None of us were fussy eaters but I did have a loathing for broad beans. Still can’t stand the things. When Mum mentioned that I was such a good lad, because I ate them anyway, I had to admit then that I’d actually fed the beans to the dog under the table when no one was looking. I guess little Joey stored that away for future use.’

  ‘Are you going to tell Janey?’

  ‘Do I look like a snitch to you?’ He grinned and I took an extra big bite to distract myself from how good that looked on him. ‘Besides, I’m his favourite uncle and I’m not about to relinquish that title by dobbing him in on something I used to do myself.’

  ‘That’s fair.’

  ‘You can’t tell Janey either, though!’ This time his face was serious.

  I shook my head. He did the grin again but I’d run out of sandwich so I buried my face in the mug of tea instead.

  ‘Is it snowing?’ I asked, reappearing and squinting at the window.

  ‘Started about half an hour ago. Fairly heavily too.’ He slid a glance sideways at me. ‘So if you’re thinking you can just toddle on home, you can’t. I’ve strict instructions to keep you exactly where you are.’

  I smiled. ‘Is that so?’

  ‘It is. And as you know, not much scares me, apart from my baby sister so please don’t make me do something drastic like tie you to the bed.’

  My eyebrows shot up involuntarily, immediately followed by Michael’s.

  ‘Admittedly that came out a little wrong.’ He looked at me and I saw the twinkle. ‘Although…’

  The look I gave him caused his face to crease and a laugh rumble from his chest.

  ‘Maybe when you’re feeling a little better.’

  I flopped my head against the pillow.

  ‘I’m not sure which version of you I like better: the grouchy, moody one or the cheerier, but infinitely more perverse one.’

  He wiggled his eyebrows and then flopped onto the end of the bed.

  ‘I have to say thanks Katie. I can’t believe the difference you’ve made. Home actually feels like home now. I’ve always loved the house but now it feels…different somehow.’

  ‘You sound surprised.’

  He fiddled with the pintucks on the duvet cover, not looking at me. ‘I am, if I’m honest. You know I only started all this because I had to. But it’s really been good for me. In a lot of ways.’

  ‘I’m glad to hear it Michael. Really glad.’

  He smiled back and, for a moment, I thought he was going to say something else. Downstairs the front door closed and we heard voices.

  ‘Still alive up there?’ Patrick called.

  ‘No thanks to Pilot,’ Michael quipped, shooting a look at the dog who had been lying at the doorway since his dismissal earlier. Pilot hid his nose under his paw.

  Lily and Joey tore into the guest room. ‘Katie! Uncle Mikey! It’s really snowing! Like proper snow! Will you come out and play with us? Mum said we can go out after dinner.’ Joey’s face was shining with excitement.

  ‘Did she now?’ Michael bent his knees and scooped up his nephew. Lily, meanwhile, was clearly of the more sensible disposition and saw the snow for what it was: cold and wet but pretty to look at it from inside. She had now climbed onto the bed and was sat beside me, playing with my hair.

  ‘You h
ave pretty hair. I wish mine was longer.’

  ‘Well you’ll have to make do playing with Katie’s because I don’t have to deal with tantrums washing hers,’ Janey puffed out as she entered the room. I saw Michael’s eyes scan her face.

  ‘Everything all right? Why didn’t you call up? I can get whatever it is you need.’

  ‘Stop fretting Mikey. It’s good exercise. And I’ve done this twice before, don’t forget.’ When his face didn’t clear, she reached round and gave him a squeeze. ‘I won’t over do anything, I promise.’

  He waited a beat and then squeezed her back with his free arm. ‘You’d better not.’

  ‘Is anyone else having any of this dinner or is it all for me?’ Patrick called up the stairs.

  ‘Me, me, me!’ Both the children cried.

  Joey’s legs were wiggling to get down. Michael cuddled him a moment longer, leaning conspiratorially towards him as Janey redid the clip in Lily’s hair which was sliding downwards.

  ‘And no feeding Pilot anything this time,’ he whispered.

  Joey looked at his uncle, their eyes level. He opened his mouth to say something and Michael did a tiny tilt of his head to stop him and shook his head, a smile on his face.

  ‘I mean it. He nearly gassed us up here earlier.’ His nephew giggled as Michael screwed up his face. ‘What’s on your plate goes in your tummy only, OK?’

  ‘OK.’

  Janey turned around from finishing with Lily. ‘What are you two whispering about?’

  Their innocent expressions matched perfectly as they both shrugged. Janey threw me a look.

  ‘Like I believe that.’

  Michael put Joey down and both children ran off downstairs.

  ‘Hold the banister, please!’ Janey called after them.

  I’d politely refused any dinner, the sandwich from earlier still filling me, and Janey and Michael left me to get some more rest. The door closed and I rolled onto my side, better to see the snow falling outside the window.

  Chapter Nineteen

  I dozed on and off but couldn’t sleep properly so after a while I got up and perched myself on the window ledge, surveying the neighbourhood as it turned white under the snow, and fairy lights began twinkling in the gloom of the afternoon. The door opened and Janey popped her head in.

  ‘Oh, you’re awake. I was just going to ask if you wanted anything.’

  I opened my mouth.

  ‘Apart from to go home. If you’re all right tomorrow morning, Mikey’s said he’ll run you home. Until then, I’m keeping an eye on you.’

  ‘Janey I hope you don’t think I don’t appreciate everything, because I really do.’

  She came and sat next to me on the wide windowsill. ‘I know you do. And you know, sometimes it’s OK to actually let people take care of you.’

  I must have looked a little unconvinced because Janey took my hand. ‘It’s not showing weakness Katie. I know you didn’t have the choice growing up and it was all up to you – ’

  ‘Mum tried her best.’ Although I would get frustrated with Mum sometimes, my automatic reaction was still defence.

  Janey didn’t take offence. ‘I’m sure she did. I’m just saying that, due to circumstances, things were different for you than they are for a lot of kids. You didn’t have anyone to turn to. You were the support when, really, it should have been the other way around. But it doesn’t have to be that way for ever.’

  ‘I’m not sure about that.’

  ‘Why do you say that?’

  I leant my head against the window, watching the snow pile up in a drift against Janey’s back fence.

  ‘If I’m going to end up with people like Calum, then maybe I am just best on my own.’

  ‘So you’re going to write off all men as potential Calums?’ She gave me the same look I’d seen her give Lily a few weeks ago when she’d claimed to have had no idea where Janey’s new lipstick was. Unfortunately, the fact that, at that moment, Lily looked like a clown who’d put his make-up on whilst three sheets to the wind, and that the lipstick colour was remarkably similar to her mother’s new ‘Va-Va-Voom Red’ rather gave her away. Janey’s look categorically told Lily then, and me now, that what we were saying was rubbish.

  ‘No. But even you have to admit I’m not so good at this whole picking the right man lark.’

  ‘You have to let people in Katie. Some of the others might have been OK if you’d not kept them at arm’s length.’

  ‘When I finally took that advice, it still turned into a disaster.’

  Janey sighed. ‘Admittedly, that wasn’t ideal. But that doesn’t mean the next man you open up to is going to be another Calum.’

  ‘Bearing in mind the second man I told about everything was your brother, and I was yelling at him when I did, then whilst I agree, he’s definitely not another Calum, it wasn’t exactly a warm and fuzzy moment either.’

  ‘Yeah, he did call to see if you’d come to us that night. He mentioned that you’d had a bit of a heated moment. I told him not to worry. Obviously I knew you were on edge about the Calum thing but I couldn’t tell Mikey that.’

  I gave her a little smile.

  ‘OK. I couldn’t tell him about it at that point. It sort of slipped out later. I’m pregnant, you have to make allowances.’

  I laughed. ‘You’re going to have to think of a new excuse once the baby comes, you know that, don’t you?’

  ‘Oh no, I’ve got a while with the “baby brain” excuse yet. Don’t worry.’ She grinned. ‘I am sorry about letting that slip with Mikey though. I honestly didn’t mean to. It just came out.’

  ‘It’s all right. I…sort of wanted him to know. We’d been getting on OK and then suddenly I was dodging questions. It felt like we’d taken a step backwards. But the circumstances…’

  ‘He understands now. But you mustn’t assume everyone will automatically think the worst of you.’

  ‘No. I know that now…’

  ‘It looks like there’s a “but” coming.’

  Janey knew me too well.

  ‘But perhaps there’s a reason. Perhaps I’m just not made for all this.’ I waved my hand, encompassing Janey’s life. ‘Maybe the whole family home, husband, kids thing just isn’t meant for – ’

  I stopped as my hand waving reached the half-open door and I saw Michael, hand raised, about to knock. An expression I couldn’t name fleeted across his face.

  ‘Sorry. I didn’t mean to interrupt. The kids want to go outside, and Patrick sent me up for their snowsuits.’

  Janey turned to me.

  ‘What you just said? Total bloody rubbish. You witnessed a bad marriage and had a crappy childhood.’

  ‘Janey.’ I tried to stop her, flicking my eyes to Michael.

  She waved her hand, dismissing my reservation. ‘But we both know that all that only makes you want to prove that that’s not always what it’s all about. I also know that you’ll do just that.’

  I screwed my face up a little, not wanting to disbelieve her, but not entirely able to swallow it all either. I knew she was right about the first part. Honestly? I did want it all. But whether I could actually achieve it, the thing she was so sure of, was another matter.

  ‘Right,’ she said, patting my hands and turning to her brother. ‘I’ll get the kids’ suits, even though Lily will go out for less than five minutes probably. In the meantime, Katie’s going to come downstairs. She’s been cooped up here enough.’

  I tightened the belt on my dressing gown but Janey was already pulling a white throw off the chair that Michael had been sat in earlier. She handed it to him.

  ‘Here you go.’

  Michael draped it around my shoulders.

  ‘I’m OK. Really, I’m quite warm en…Argh! No, put me down. For goodness’ sake, I can walk down the stairs! Michael put me down. Please!’

  He grinned down at me as he made his way towards the top of the stairs. Janey was following us, two small bright snowsuits over her arm.

  ‘Janey,
please tell him to put me down!’ I said, pleading with her. ‘He listens to you.’

  Janey grinned in the same manner as her brother had. ‘Off you go Mikey.’

  ‘Urgh!’ I let my head fall to the side, bumping against his broad chest. I could feel the laughter in it. ‘It’s not funny,’ I stated.

  ‘Yeah, it is.’

  ‘No, it’s embarrassing. Look, we’re at the bottom now. Please, I can walk fine. Please put me down.’

  Michael, predictably, ignored me and entered the living room where the kids and Patrick looked up.

  ‘Ooooh!’ Lily’s face was all excitement and giggles. ‘Uncle Mikey, you look like when the Prince picks up his Princess after they’ve got married!’

  I saw Janey and Patrick exchange a look and for a moment nobody said anything. Janey had mentioned before that marriage and Michael weren’t generally topics that went well together as conversation starters, and even when brought up by the kids, it was evident the subject caused him tension. But pressed up against his chest, held in his arms, I had to admit, I didn’t feel any tensing at all.

  Michael looked down at me. The throw was wrapped around me but some of it trailed over his arm, looking to Lily at least, enough like a wedding dress train to prompt the comment.

  ‘Ah, Lily, I think our Katie here is far too wise to marry me.’

  Lily looked up at me as Michael, finally, let me down and held my arm gently as I got comfy on the sofa.

  ‘Don’t you like Uncle Mikey?’ She blinked.

  ‘Oh…I…yes, of course, Lily. He’s very…nice.’

  From the corner of my eye, I saw Michael smother a laugh. I gave a look around, pleading with my eyes for some help. All I got were grins in return. Great.

  ‘Uncle Mikey picked me up from school once and I heard one of the other mummies saying that she thought he was sixty.’

  Patrick gave a snort of laughter.

  ‘Oh,’ I said, floundering for a moment. There was no doubt in my mind that the mummy in question had actually described Lily’s uncle as ‘sexy’, but if I said that, I knew the very next question would be, ‘What does “sexy” mean?’ I might be feeling better but I definitely wasn’t up to that. Thankfully Michael stepped in.