Diane's Remembrance (Second Chance #4)

by Christina Escue

  Karla just sits there with her face buried in her knees as I rant at her. When I’m finished yelling I walk out the door and head to the bar where Garrett and I both work.

  Diane opened her eyes and looked out the window of the cell. The sky was just starting to lighten and she moaned softly. Today was the day it all ended. Today was the day that Karla would finally be free.

  “Mom, Garrett had a party last night. He had a bunch of people here and he had sex on your bed with more than one woman. I know you aren’t going to believe me, but you needed to know.” Karla tells me and I scowl at her. There’s no way I’m going to tell her that I already know about Garrett’s parties and his women. I can’t tell her that I am already suffering the ramifications of his excursions.

  “You stupid little liar!” I yell and slap her face. “You are nothing but a trouble maker and I am so tired of your jealously and lies.” I slap her again.

  Garrett walks up behind me and pushes me to the side. When his fist connects with her face I turn and walk out of the apartment. I can’t stand to see her hurt, but I can’t do anything to stop it. I hear Karla screaming down the hall, but I keep walking. I can’t help her.

  I’m at work for about an hour before I see Garrett walk in. His knuckles are bruised and torn so I know he really hurt Karla this time. I can’t handle knowing my girl is laying in that apartment hurting. When Garrett goes into the bathroom I duck behind the bar and sneak out the back door.

  When I silently enter the apartment I see Karla curled on her blanket and I walk over to her. She is breathing, but unconscious so I leave her there and head back to the bar. I seek out my supplier when I get there and pull him out the back door.

  “Roger, I need a hit. I will do whatever I need to for it, but I have to have it now.”

  “Oh, Diane, honey, you know what I want.” He tells me and I immediately reach for his belt. Once I free him I drop to my knees. Before I can do anything else I see flashing blue lights. Roger jerks away from me and takes off running, but I stay where I’m at. This is a good thing.

  Diane’s eyes popped open at that last thought and she saw that the sun was fully up now. She looked at the time and noticed that she only had an hour before she had to be at the hospital to get the pills after the drug delivery. “Just enough time for breakfast”, she said out loud to herself and walked out of her cell. When she got to the cafeteria she smiled as she looked at what was for breakfast. “Not a bad last meal.” She whispered and took a seat at the table.

  Chapter Fourteen

  “Diane, you ready?” Carol asked as she sat beside Diane.

  “I’m ready.” Diane reassured her and smiled wickedly. “I’ve never been more ready for anything in my life.”

  “Good. Give me about fifteen minutes and you can make your move.”

  “Works for me.” Diane said and stood from her seat. “I’m going to head back to our cell before anything starts. That way no one will question me coming out to see what’s going on.” Diane told her and when Carol nodded she walked away.

  Once back in the cell Diane reached under her mattress and pulled out the small stack of letters she had written to Karla. She sat down on her cot and leafed through them for a second before she pulled out the first one she’d written and read it. This is the letter telling Karla about her father and how she came to be in this world. As she read it she wondered if Karla had been in contact with Alexander’s children. She assumed they would track him down, but even if they did she knew he was dead. She had searched for him when her parents died and had discovered he’d died in a car accident, which explained why he never followed through with his threat.

  When she heard the commotion in the hall she knew it was time so she tucked the two letters she wanted Karla to get right away back under her mattress, laid the note to Carol on her pillow and tucked the other letters under Carol’s mattress. She hoped Carol could be trusted to do what she wanted her to do. She took a deep breath, wiped the tears from her cheeks and stepped into the common area just as Carol punched a guard.

  Once everyone surrounded the fight she slipped past them and started walking quickly to the medical wing of the jail. When she slipped past the small nurse’s station no one even bothered to look up and she smiled. This was going to be a piece of cake.

  She made it to the locked closet where all the drugs were kept and grinned and pulled a small key from her pocket. She looked at it for a second before she inserted it into the lock and opened the door. After checking the hall to make sure it was still empty she stepped into the small room and closed the door behind her.

  As she looked around at all the different meds she searched out three that she knew would accomplish what she wanted to accomplish. When her eyes locked on them a sly grin crossed her face. She snatched the three bottles from the shelf and grabbed the small bottle of water she had taken from the cafeteria earlier from her pocket.

  When she opened the first bottle she poured ten of the small pills out into her hand, tossed them into her mouth and took a drink of water to swallow them. Once they were down she poured out ten of the next pill and swallowed them down a few at a time. When she opened the last bottle her hands were shaking, but she took out ten of those as well and swallowed them quickly.

  Once they were down she grabbed the first bottle and took five more, just for good measure then put all three bottles into her pocket. She knew she wasn’t going to make it back to her cell, but she wanted Carol to think she had at least tried to get the drugs to her.

  She cracked open the door and looked around before she opened it fully and stumbled out. Before she made it five steps she collapsed. Her head hit the floor and her world went black.

  ****

  “We pumped her stomach, but she isn’t waking up. Maybe we should contact her family.” Diane heard some say from afar.

  No, no, no. no. My sweet Karla cannot see me like this. Please go away and let me die. Diane thought as she strained to hear what the doctor was saying.

  “She has a daughter, but I don’t know how to get in touch with her. Maybe if we contact Captain McGraw we can find out something. I know he visited her several times in the first two weeks she was inside.” It was Jason, one of the guards from the jail, who was talking. “I’ll give him a call and see if he knows how to contact her daughter.”

  NO!! I don’t want Karla here. She’ll know what happened soon enough and I don’t want her to see me like this. Diane listened again, but didn’t hear them say anything else as they walked out the door. She knew she was dying and wished death would come already.

  As thoughts filled her head she let them take over.

  “Karla, Ann, where are you?” I say in a rough whisper. I can’t hear the men anymore, but I’m afraid they’re still close. I need to find my two best friends and we need to get out of here.

  I open my eyes and can see the sun starting to rise over the lake and I know that we will be missed in just a little while. I also know the men are gone so I roll over onto my stomach and start crawling toward the cabins. I make it about five feet when my hand lands in something cold and sticky. When I look at my hand I see it’s covered in blood and I start screaming. I scream and scream and scream until arms wrap around me.

  “Oh my, God.” I hear someone say in the distance. “Karla and Ann are dead.”

  “NO!!!” I shout and start to pull out of the arms restraining me.

  “Diane, honey, calm down. You’re hurt and we need to get you to the hospital.” I hear one of the camp representatives say softly, but I can’t calm down. My two best friends are dead and I should be too.

  Chapter Fifteen

  “Diane, yes I’m calling you by your name instead of mom now. In these past few weeks I have learned what having a mom is really like. Her name is Leslie and she loves me. She has never once raised her hand to me and she would defend me if anyone else ever did. You are nothing to me anymore. You may have given me life, but you also made me wish for death on a regular
basis over the past six years.” Karla says as soon as Diane hears the door close.

  Karla is here. Oh no. They found her and told her what I did. I know she hates me, but I didn’t want her to see me like this. Diane says in her head. I was right to do this. This was the right choice for her. I am so happy that she has found someone to look after her properly. I love you, baby girl.

  “When I was younger I knew nothing but love from Grams and Pops, but after they died love was something that only existed in the books I read. You used to talk down to me about reading, but that waste of time as you called it is why I am in the Advanced Program at school now. Speaking of school, you said that was a waste of time too, but I love it. I have friends now. We were never in one place long enough for me to make friends, and I couldn’t anyway because of the bruises, but now I have three really good friends.”

  I hear tears in her voice and I want to reach out to her, but my body won’t obey me so I lay here and listen to her. She’s doing well. She’s stronger than I ever was. She’s going to grow up into a great woman.

  “I came by to tell you goodbye so I could close the chapter of my life that had you in it, but now I’ve realized that I can’t close that chapter. Everything you did to me, or allowed others to do to me, molded me into the person I am now. No matter where I go or what I do I will always be your daughter. I will always have part of you with me. I will never love you the way a daughter should love her mother, but that isn’t my fault, it’s yours. You made me feel the way I do about you, but you also taught me something. You taught me how not to treat people. Despite everything you did to me I am not like you. I know how to love and how to accept things I cannot change. Thank you Diane, for making me strong, for making me self-reliant, for making me a better person than you ever were.”

  I know I hurt you, my sweet girl. I know I was never the mother you needed. I am so glad you have a loving family now. You may never love me like a daughter should love her mother, but I will always love you. I failed you in so many ways, but you came through it a stronger person. I have been weak since that night so many years ago. I did try in the beginning, but I failed because I let my demons back in. I am so sorry for everything I put you through, my beautiful Karla Ann.

  I hear her walking toward the door and try to reach for her. I didn’t want her to go. I selfishly want her to stay with me because I know that once she’s gone I will never hear her sweet voice again. I know I’ll never hear anything again. I hear her stop walking and my head fills with joy. I’ll hear her voice one more time.

  “Goodbye, Diane.” Is all she says before I hear the door close behind her.

  My sweet girl is gone and I no longer have any reason to hold on. I hear her “Goodbye” ringing in my head as the door opens again.

  “She’s crying.” I hear a male voice say.

  “What does that mean?” A female voice says and I wonder the same thing.

  “It means she can hear us and whatever her daughter said to her made her cry.”

  “Does that mean she’s going to live?”

  “No!” I shout at them. I am not going to live. I don’t want to live.

  I feel everything starting to fade and I play Karla’s last words to me over and over in my head. My girl is strong. My girl is brave. My girl is better off without me.

  At least I know she will be well taken care of. Even without the last surprise from me, she will be taken care of.

  I hear a small beeping in the distance and I hear feet running.

  “We’re losing her.”

  I smile to myself and let the darkness overtake me. This is it. This is the end.

  Epilogue

  Carol looked at the paper in her hands and sighed. It had been nearly three years since she’d walked back into her cell and found the note from Diane. She really didn’t think this was a good idea, but she knew she needed to do this for her friend. It was the least she could do for the woman who loved her daughter so much she ended her own life so that her daughter could find happiness.

  As her taxi pulled to a stop in front of a large house she sighed again. It appeared Karla had landed in the good life. “I hope I’m doing the right thing.” She said aloud to herself after she paid the taxi driver.

  She took a deep breath and climbed the steps, but before she could ring the doorbell the door burst open and a tall, dark skinned man walked out carrying a car seat with a tiny baby with soft mocha skin and deep green eyes inside. She knew instantly that this was Dr. Andrew Peterson.

  “May I help you?” Andrew asked the woman standing on his front porch.

  “Umm… are you Dr. Peterson?” Carol asked softly.

  “I am.” He answered and Carol smiled softly.

  “My name is Carol Johnson and I was cell mates with Diane Hall before she died. I’m here to see Karla. To give her something actually.”

  “Karla isn’t here.” Leslie responded to what Carol said. “She’s away at a summer program at a University.”

  “Can you give these to her when she gets back? They’re from her mother.” Carol said and handed Leslie a small stack of letters.

  “Yeah, sure. We were just heading out to take MaryLynn to her check-up, but you’re more than welcome to come back. Karla will be home in a couple of weeks and you can give them to her yourself.” Leslie told her.

  “I would love to meet her.” Carol answered. “You hang on to those and I will come back in a couple of weeks.”

  Carol looked around the yard a moment before she turned back to Andrew and Leslie. “Diane really did love Karla. I know a lot of what happened and I know that Diane never did right by that girl, but I also know that she loved her. You could see it in her eyes.” With that Carol walked away, leaving Leslie and Andrew standing there in shock.