The Rancher's Bride

by Stella Bagwell

  “Wait till you hear Justine’s news!” Chloe said, her face wreathed in smiles.

  “Don’t tell me something good has finally happened,” Rose said with disbelief. She walked over to a nearby lawn chair and took a seat.

  “Well, Roy and I think it’s good, at least,” Justine said with a chuckle.

  “Roy found Belinda Waller up in Albuquerque,” Rose guessed.

  Chloe rolled her eyes. “You think I’d be smiling about that?”

  Rose stretched out her legs and crossed her boots at the ankles. She was exhausted. She’d been in the saddle for several hot hours this morning, but she’d spent the whole night wide awake, staring at the darkened walls of her bedroom trying to decide what to do about Harlan’s proposal. She still didn’t have an answer for herself or for him.

  “I don’t know whether you’d be smiling or not, but we all know finding Belinda Waller is something that has to be done.”

  “Well, this has nothing to do with any of that, thank goodness,” Chloe replied.

  “Amen to that,” Kitty added. “It’s about time this family had some happy news.”

  Happy? Rose wasn’t sure she knew what that word meant anymore.

  “Then I guess you’re going to tell me that Roy found the idiot that cut our fence.”

  Justine shook her head. “He’s working on it, Rose, but there really isn’t much for him to go on. A few footprints and maybe some fingerprints on the metal post. But it’s highly unlikely those will even be on file.”

  Rose’s shoulders sagged at this news. Emily came to stand beside her lawn chair. “Me and Rose have a bad feeling about that fence,” the teenager told the other Murdock women. “We think whoever did it might try to do something else.”

  Justine nodded grimly. “So does Roy.”

  The whole group went quiet after that until Chloe stood and refilled her glass with icy lemonade. “Let’s not dwell on that right now. Tell them the good news, Justine,” Chloe urged her sister.

  Her beautiful face glowing, Justine looked at her older sister. “Roy and I are going to have another baby.”

  “Wow!” Emily exclaimed. “There’s gonna be babies all over this place!”

  Everyone laughed and Rose got up from her chair to go kiss her sister’s cheek. “Congratulations, Justine. This is wonderful news.”

  “Thanks sis, I know it probably seems crazy wanting a child when everything around here is in such turmoil, but Roy and I have lost so much time together and Charlie is already five. We want him to have a sibling before he gets too much older.”

  “And he should have one,” Rose agreed with a happy smile for her sister. “When are you due?”

  “The end of March.”

  “And I guess Roy is walking on a cloud about it,” Rose said.

  Justine groaned and laughed. “I’m two months along and he’s already trying to keep me off my feet.”

  “What about your nursing job at the clinic, Justine?” Kitty asked.

  “It’s only three days a week. Roy wants me to quit, but I told him I wanted to work at least until my eighth month. The exercise will be good for me. And Doctor Bellamy will always be nearby if I need him.”

  For the next few minutes talk centered around the coming baby. Eventually Rose noticed Emily had slipped away from the group of women and was sitting on the sand a few steps away from Charlie and the twins. The sad, forlorn look on her face had Rose quickly walking over to her.

  “Emily, is something wrong?”

  Her eyes firmly planted on the playing children, Emily shook her head. “No. I’m okay.”

  The girl sounded anything but okay, Rose decided. She looked as though she’d just lost her dearest friend.

  Squatting down beside the teenager, Rose said, “Did I say something to hurt or upset you? If I did, I’m very sorry.”

  Emily’s eyes flew to Rose’s concerned face. “Oh, no, Rose. I’m not mad or anything like that. I just thought I’d come over here and watch the kids and rest.”

  Emily never mentioned the word rest and normally she would be playing with the children rather than watching them.

  “Are you sure you’re feeling okay?”

  Emily’s eyes dropped to her lap. “I’m fine,” she said in a small little voice.

  Rose remained quiet for a few moments, then decided to make a stab in the dark. “Did it upset you to hear my sister is going to have a baby?”

  Lifting her head, Emily nodded ruefully. “I guess that’s dumb, isn’t it? I mean, I think it’s great that she’s gonna have a baby and Charlie is going to have a little brother or sister. It’s wonderful for you all. But it—it makes me kinda sad, too.”

  Rose reached out and smoothed her hand over Emily’s shining blond hair. “Because you wished it were you who was going to get the brother or sister. Is that it?”

  Emily nodded again, then rubbed the backs of both hands against her eyes. “That sounds pretty selfish to you, doesn’t it? And childish.”

  Tears stung Rose’s throat. “No. It sounds pretty human to me.” She didn’t go on to tell Emily that she, too, was having some pretty selfish feelings of her own at the news of Justine’s pregnancy. Not that she wasn’t happy for her sister, she was. In fact, she was thrilled for her. Still, Rose couldn’t help but wonder why it had never been her turn to have a husband and child of her very own.

  You can have a husband and child of your own, a voice inside Rose whispered. Harlan wants you to be his wife. He wants you to be Emily’s mother.

  Maybe that didn’t necessarily mean passionate love or a baby for her, but at least she would have a family of her own, Rose reasoned with herself. It was more than she’d ever expected. But would it be enough?

  “I’m sorry for being sulky, Rose,” Emily said. She got to her feet and brushed sand from the seat of her jeans. “I’m going to go over and tell your sister how happy I am for her.”

  Rose caught her by the forearm. “Emily, you’re a sweet young lady. And you’ll always be welcome to consider my family as your family, too. Don’t ever forget that.”

  “Thanks, Rose,” she said, then grinned. “Me and you, we’re a team, aren’t we?”

  Rose slipped her arm around Emily’s small shoulders. “Yes, we’re a team.”

  The hammer glanced off the nailhead and squashed Harlan’s forefinger against the two-by-four stud.

  “Damn it,” he muttered under his breath as he attempted to shake off the stinging pain.

  If he’d had his mind on his business, the hammer would have hit its mark rather than him. But all day long Harlan had found it impossible to concentrate on anything but Rose.

  She would be bringing Emily home in a matter of minutes and soon she would be giving him the answer to his proposal. A few weeks ago, even a few days ago, if someone had told him he would be asking a woman to marry him, he would have laughed in their face. Moreover, if they’d told him how desperately eager he would be for the woman to say yes, he would have called them insane.

  And maybe he had gone a little mad, he argued with himself. For seven years he and Emily had been on their own. Initially, after Karen had died, it had been hard just trying to cope with the grief. Then the sheer magnitude of caring for a small child had been thrust squarely upon his shoulders. Yet somehow they’d survived and grown together. So why did he want to bring Rose into the picture? he asked himself.

  Because Emily was growing into a young woman. She needed a mother’s touch. She needed female guidance about things he couldn’t possibly know about or understand. And life here on the ranch would be a little sweeter with Rose around. It was as simple as that.

  A few minutes later Harlan heard the sound of a vehicle. He stepped out of the barn in time to see Rose parking her truck at the side of the house beneath the shade of a scrawny piñon. Emily jumped out and hurried into the house, Rose climbed more slowly to the ground, then shading her eyes with one hand, looked toward the barn.

  Harlan waved to her. She waved ba
ck and started walking to him. By the time she reached the barn, Harlan’s heart was pounding and his palms were slick with sweat. He couldn’t ever remember feeling like this.

  “Hello,” he greeted.

  She gave him a shy, nervous smile. “I told Emily I had to talk to you about a few things so she went on into the house.”

  “How did things go today?”

  She nodded. “Okay. We didn’t find anything amiss with the cattle or the fence. Roy has looked the scene over but he’s not very optimistic about finding the person who cut the fence.”

  Harlan wasn’t surprised to hear this. Short of having an eyewitness who just happened to be driving by while the fence was being cut, there weren’t many clues to go on.

  “Well, at least nothing else happened.”

  She rubbed her hands along the sides of her skirt. She’d taken a shower and changed clothes before she’d left home. The pale yellow sundress she was wearing had skinny straps that exposed her shoulders. Normally it was a cool garment, but this evening she was already damp with perspiration.

  “My sister Justine had some news for us,” she said.

  Harlan reached for her arm. “Let’s go into the alleyway. The draft through the barn is cooler there.”

  They went inside the big tin building and Harlan motioned toward several bales of hay stacked near the door of the tack room. Rose took a seat on one of the alfalfa bales and waited for him to join her.

  “What sort of news did she have? Something about your father’s mistress?”

  Mistress. Rose shuddered at the word. “No. It was personal. She and Roy are going to have another baby.”

  “Oh.” He took a seat inches from her. “I guess everybody was happy to hear that news.”

  The barn was filled with the pungent smell of alfalfa, worn leather and horses. A few feet away, a cat lay sprawled fast asleep on an empty feed sack. Rose had always felt comfortable in these simple surroundings, but tonight she was anything but relaxed.

  “Everybody was happy. Although the news did upset Emily just a bit.”

  Harlan couldn’t have been more surprised. “Upset? I can’t imagine it. Emily loves babies. You see how she is with the twins. And she doesn’t even really know your sister.”

  Rose sighed. “Knowing Justine doesn’t have anything to do with it,” she told him, then looked at him squarely. “Emily was saddened by the news, because it reminded her that she might never have a brother or sister. And she wants one desperately.”

  His jaw dropped. “Are you just saying this?”

  Rose frowned at him. “I don’t say things just to hear myself talk, Harlan.”

  He stared straight ahead as an array of emotions paraded across his face.

  After a while Rose broke the silence. “You didn’t know your daughter wanted a brother or sister?”

  Swallowing, he turned his head and looked at her as though she’d just wounded him with a knifeblade. “No.”

  “Has she told you how much she wants a mother?”

  He shook his head. “Obviously she’s told you.”

  Rose could see he was hurt that his daughter had opened up to her rather than him. Maybe it was wrong of her to have told him any of this. But Emily was the reason he’d asked her to marry him in the first place. How could she not tell him?

  “She doesn’t think talking to you about it would do any good.”

  Harlan grimaced. “Well, at least I anticipated her need for a mother. Surely that counts for something.”

  “Of course it does. You’re a good father, Harlan,” Rose said gently. “I’m not telling you any of this to try and put you down.”

  His brows pulled together. “Why are you telling me?”

  Nerves were knotting her stomach and she realized her hands were clenched so tightly together they were aching.

  “Because—you wanted an answer from me about marrying you and I thought I had an answer until…” His eyes were delving into hers, robbing the words from her tongue. “Now I…”

  His expression solemn, he edged closer to her. “Are you saying you had decided to marry me, but now you’re unsure?”

  Nodding, she glanced away from him. He caught her chin and turned her face back to his. “Why? Tell me, Rose. We can’t work this out until you do.”

  How could they ever work it out? she wondered miserably. He wanted a marriage of convenience. And she…just wanted to be loved.

  “Harlan, surely it’s obvious to you. Emily wants a sibling. She wants a real family. Not what you’re planning.”

  “Emily needs a mother much more than she needs a sibling. Besides, you’re still a very young woman, Rose. After a while you may decide you’d like to have a baby.”

  A baby with him! The very idea made Rose tremble. Their relationship could never enter into the bedroom. If it did, their marriage would be over. Even if she could get up enough nerve to let him make love to her, she knew he would find her a hopeless sexual partner. He’d be disgusted and disappointed with her. Maybe she could bear that sort of humiliation from some other man. But not Harlan.

  “I—I’d never consider bringing a child into this world unless it was conceived out of love. We’re…nothing more than friends.”

  Friends. Somehow that word didn’t describe the way he felt about Rose. He wanted to protect her, help her. He wanted to see her happy. But most of all he simply wanted to be with her. Did she not even feel that much for him?

  “I can understand that you’d need an emotional commitment from a man before you could have his child. But you’re not thinking logically, Rose. I’m not going to go out and marry some other woman simply because Emily wants a brother or sister. That would be worse for her than not having one. If I don’t marry you, I’m not going to marry anyone.”

  Put like that, what could she say? “I don’t know, Harlan. Today, when I saw her sad little face, I couldn’t help but think it would be a big mistake to marry you.” She squared her knees around so that she was facing him head on. “You need a woman who you…could really love and who loves you.”

  Wry bitterness twisted his features. “I’ve already told you that’s the last thing I need. You know how I feel about this, Rose. It’s been seven years since Karen died. In that time I haven’t gone looking for romance. And if you turn me down I still won’t go looking for it.”

  In other words he wasn’t going to change for Rose or any woman. Marrying her for convenience was as far as he was prepared to go. Even for Emily’s sake.

  Rising to her feet, Rose walked to the opposite end of the alleyway. Leaning against the open door frame, she watched the approaching twilight fall across the sage-covered hills.

  Years ago when she’d first grown old enough to think about her future it had all seemed so simple. She’d wanted to have a marriage and family just like her parents had. At the time she hadn’t thought those things were too much to expect or hope for.

  Now it all made her feel very foolish and even bitter. Her parents’ marriage hadn’t been the true, loving relationship she’d once believed. Maybe she was naive to even think such a thing existed.

  She heard his footsteps behind her, but still she flinched when his hands curved over the top of her shoulders.

  “What are you thinking, Rose? Have I hurt you?”

  “No.” She’d been hurt long before Harlan had stepped into her life.

  “But you’re worried that I might.”

  He said it as a statement, not a question. As though he could see the fear in her heart.

  “Whatever you’re thinking, Rose, I want you to know I’m not a hard man. I could never be mean to you.”

  Slowly, she turned to face him. “I’m not afraid of that,” she murmured.

  His eyes drank in her pale skin, her luminous gray eyes and soft rosy lips. Shadows were haunting her face and Harlan wondered if she was thinking back to that other proposal she’d once gotten. “You’re afraid of something?”

  Rose was desperately afraid of fall
ing in love with him. A part of her was terrified that she already had. “Marriage of any sort is a big step to take.”

  He smiled gently. “We’ll take the step together.”

  The warm look on his face, the tender promise in his voice was Rose’s undoing. She was hopelessly charmed by him. The idea of living with him for the rest of her life was scary, but it was also too tempting to resist.

  Placing her palms against his chest, she said, “Then my answer is yes. I’ll marry you, Harlan.”

  Once it dawned on his brain that she hadn’t turned him down, he began to breathe again. Plucking one of her hands from his chest, he drew the back of it to his lips.

  “You’ve made me very happy, Rose.”

  But in a few days or weeks from now, would she still be making him happy? It was too late for Rose to ask herself that question. She’d promised to be his wife. And Rose never broke a promise, no matter how painful it might become.

  “You’re going to do what!”

  Pushing a weary hand through her tousled hair, Rose looked across the breakfast table at Chloe. The announcement that she was going to marry Harlan had completely shocked her younger sister. And rightly so, Rose thought. Her whole family had decided she was going to live the rest of her life as a spinster. Instead, she was going to marry one of the most eligible hunks in Lincoln County. It was still difficult for her to believe.

  “You heard me, Chloe. I’m going to marry Harlan. Friday, to be exact. Do you think we can get some sort of small wedding planned by then?”

  Kitty struggled to keep a mouthful of coffee from spewing across the table. “Friday! Rose, have you lost your mind? You’re just now getting to know this man!”

  Chloe tossed down her fork. “What has he done to you?” she demanded.

  Color flamed in Rose’s cheeks. “What do you mean? He hasn’t done anything to me.”

  “Well,” Chloe huffed, “he’s done something. You’re not thinking straight.”

  Thank God, she and Harlan had decided it would be better all around if they pretended to her family and Emily that they were getting married because they were in love. It would be mortifying to have to admit to her sisters and aunt that Harlan only wanted her because Emily needed a mother.