Remnants (A Golden Beach Novel)

by Kim Loraine

  “I think I need to move home for a while,” Sully said. “We need to get to the bottom of what’s going on with you.”

  “Oh, don’t be silly. You have your own life to live. I’ll be fine.” She patted at her hair.

  “You didn’t know where you were. In your own bedroom.”

  “I was just a little confused. You know, I dozed off for a bit beforehand. I think I was still dreaming when I opened my eyes.”

  Really? That was her argument? “Mom—”

  “Stop it, Carson. I’m not an invalid. I told you, I just got confused. You know I’ve always been a heavy sleeper. There was more than one time your dad found me sleepwalking in the kitchen with a peanut butter and jelly sandwich all made and ready for you.”

  His tension eased slightly at that. He’d never seen her sleepwalk, but he’d been known to occasionally wander or talk in his sleep. The guys at the station thought it was hilarious. “Fine. But if something else happens—”

  “I’ll go see a doctor. I promise.” She reached up and cupped his cheek. “Now, do you want to tell me what’s got you looking so dark and brooding?”

  “Other than the fact that my mom was gardening in her nightgown?”

  “Come on.”

  “Sloan.”

  Her eyes widened. “Are you seeing her again?”

  “You knew she was here?”

  “Honey, I’m not blind. I’ve seen her in the supermarket, at the post office, on the beach. I figured it was only a matter of time before you two found your way back to each other.”

  That stung. “We’re not together.”

  “You will be.”

  As impossible as the situation with Sloan seemed at times, he hoped his mom was right.

  ~ ~ ~

  Five days after Carson had nearly made her swoon with just his lips on the beach, Sloan found herself at odds with her need to see him and the shame of what she’d said to get him to let her go. She hadn’t meant it. Not by a long shot. He’d always been enough. It was she who hadn’t been enough for him to stay.

  As the bell rang for the end of recess, she rounded up her kids and followed them into the classroom. Today they were presenting their heritage projects. So much hard work had gone into these from both the parents and students and she was excited to see where the at-home work blended with the in-class.

  “One-two-three, eyes on me,” she sang out.

  “One-two, eyes on you,” the class responded as they settled into their seats.

  “Okay, who’s ready to present their heritage project?”

  Fifteen hands shot into the air, bright eager smiles on the faces of the volunteers.

  “Wow! That’s a lot of you. I don’t think we can get to everyone today, but we can certainly get started. Mason, why don’t you go first?”

  As the day wore on, they got through ten of fifteen volunteers. She loved projects like this because it showcased everyone’s individuality, their rich cultural backgrounds, and taught more about different countries and ethnicities than she could in one day. The kids were packing up, getting ready to be dismissed to the buses when she noticed Liam sitting in his seat, eyes trained on the desktop in front of him.

  “Hey, Liam. What’s going on?” She spoke quietly, not wanting to call a large amount of attention to the little boy.

  “I can’t do this project.”

  “Why not?”

  “I don’t have heritage.”

  She grinned. “Yeah, you do. Have you talked to your mom and dad? We all have heritage.”

  He shook his head. “They can’t help me. I’m adopted. I don’t know anything about my other parents.”

  Her heart lurched. She hadn’t known that. She’d met Liam’s parents and never would have guessed he wasn’t biologically related to them. She’d never understand why parents kept this kind of thing from teachers. “Okay, how about this? I’ll talk to your mom tonight. We can figure out something for you. Sound good?”

  He still wouldn’t meet her gaze, but nodded and scuffed the toes of his shoes along the classroom floor under his chair. “Okay.”

  The uncertainty in his voice made her chest tight. She should be sensitive to adopted children. But she’d been shortsighted, and now she needed to make up for it.

  After the kids were all delivered safely to the buses or on their way home, she stood in the quiet classroom, thinking hard about what she wanted to say to Liam’s mother.

  She picked up the phone, dialed, and waited for an answer.

  “Hello?”

  “Hi, Mrs. Banks. This is Ms. Thomas, Liam’s teacher.”

  A heavy sigh flowed over the line. “Oh, no. What’s wrong?”

  “Nothing. He just mentioned something today in class and I wanted to talk to you about it.”

  “Really?”

  “We’re doing a heritage project, and he hasn’t completed it. He told me he’s adopted and that he didn’t have a heritage.”

  “Oh.”

  “I was hoping we could come up with something for him together. He could combine your family’s background to learn about you and your husband, or maybe you could have him do a DNA ancestry test.”

  Mrs. Banks cleared her throat. “That won’t be necessary, we’ve got everything he needs to know about his birth parents. It’s an open adoption, you see. He doesn’t know them, but they are in contact with us. I’ll help him get the project done. Thank you so much for calling.”

  The line went dead and Sloan slumped in her chair the weight of the conversation bringing down her mood. Meg popped her head in through the doorway and grinned.

  “Rough day?”

  Sloan shut down her computer and cleared her desk. “Weird day. I’ve been in a funk since the weekend.”

  “You mean since you got your brain scrambled by Sully?”

  “Yeah. That’s one way to put it.”

  Meg cocked one eyebrow and gave her a look that said everything without uttering a word.

  “Stop looking at me like that.”

  “Like what?”

  “Like you know something I don’t.”

  She smirked. “I do.”

  “Dammit, Meg.”

  Her friend threw her hands in the air. “Oh, you’re no fun. It’s about Sully.”

  “What about him?”

  “He’s a mess. Over you.”

  “What are you talking about?”

  “Valerie started back this week, remember?”

  She thought back to meeting the petite blonde on Monday. Right, Valerie was married to a firefighter. Shit. The last thing Sloan wanted was for the whole damn town to know the dirty details of her life again.

  “What has she been telling people?” Panic laced her words as she turned wild eyes to Meg.

  “Oh, no, no. It’s not like that. Val would never spread your personal business around. She knows we’re good friends, that’s all. She wanted me to make sure you were okay because she said Sully hasn’t been himself. He and her husband are really close friends. I guess Sully opened up one night, about you.”

  “He shouldn’t have done that. It’s no one’s business but ours.”

  “Sloan, that’s not how this works. It stopped being just yours when you guys broke things off years ago. Just like you need someone to talk to, so does he.”

  Meg was right. Hurt was a two-way street and to think he wouldn’t need a friend to shoulder everything that had been dredged up between them was naive. Sloan couldn’t handle the idea of strangers knowing about something so personal. It had been bad enough when her father was accused of sexual harassment and later resigned. She and her mom hadn’t been able to go anywhere. People would whisper and stare, or worse, fall deathly silent as soon as the two of them came within
sight.

  “I . . . I guess I didn’t think about that. We went through a lot, Meg. So much more than kids our age should have had to deal with. It’s really painful to think about it.” She ran a hand through her long hair and winced when her fingers caught in a tangle. “I honestly can’t believe he’d talk about it with anyone.”

  “Didn’t you talk about it? How can you expect him to keep quiet when what you went through is clearly still hurting you?”

  Sloan shook her head. “I didn’t have anyone. My mom, maybe, but my family motto is pretend it doesn’t exist and it’ll go away.”

  “So you’ve been walking around with this unresolved all this time?”

  Yes. But she couldn’t open up to Meg about everything, not without doing exactly what she didn’t want Carson doing. “I thought it was buried. But, I should’ve known seeing Carson would dig it all back up.”

  “You need to talk with someone, Sloan. If not me or another friend, I think it should be him.”

  Sloan shook her head and grabbed her purse. “That’s not the best idea. Every time we talk he ends up kissing me, making me cry, or yelling at me.”

  Meg offered a soft smile. “Think about it, okay? Life will be a lot easier here if there’s not a firefighter-shaped shadow looming over you.”

  A weight settled on Sloan’s shoulders. Meg was right. They needed to talk, really talk, with no touching of body parts, no room for escape, and above all, no-holds-barred.

  ~ ~ ~

  Saturday morning greeted Sloan with a text message from Meg asking her to join her and Valerie at the midnight showing of The Rocky Horror Picture Show on Halloween. She checked the time and groaned. It was barely eight o’clock. Halloween was a week away. Why couldn’t this be something they discussed on Monday at work? Or at least in the afternoon?

  Can’t answer now. Sleeping.

  Meg texted back almost immediately.

  Liar. Come on. Halloween on a Friday. We HAVE to do something epic.

  Her smile couldn’t be contained. Fine. What do I need to wear?

  The phone rang in her hand, startling her and causing her to drop the thing on her face. She muttered a soft curse under her breath before she answered. “Meg, seriously? Most people are still sleeping at this hour.”

  “And most people miss out on the best part of the day. Besides, don’t you want to know what Sully did at yoga today?”

  “Um, no?”

  “Liar. Trust me. You want to know.”

  She sat up and fought the butterflies in her stomach at the mention of him. “Fine. What did he do?”

  “He set up his mat next to me, but left a space between us.”

  “Wow,” she said, sarcasm strong in her tone.

  “Because he was hoping you’d show, obviously.”

  Her heart squeezed at the thought. But she didn’t want him to be pining for her or hoping for anything. Did she?

  “Anyway, he asked me how you were. I told him you’d had a date last night and I was sure you were too tired to make it to yoga.”

  “Meg! You didn’t.”

  Her friend laughed. “You should have seen the jealousy roll through him. It was fantastic.”

  “Why would you do that?”

  “Clearly, the man needs a little push when it comes to you.”

  “No. He doesn’t.”

  “You’re both in denial. I reminded him that if he doesn’t do something soon, you’ll be off the market, so-to-speak.”

  She stretched and yawned as she got out of bed. “Okay, well, I think we’re good now. He obviously got your message. Now, tell me about this Halloween plan.”

  The two of them chatted while Sloan made herself some coffee and headed outside to enjoy the morning quiet on her front porch. After they hung up, she settled into the old swing. It had always been her favorite place to spend time when she was a kid and now she savored the peace she found from watching the neighborhood wake up. Her house growing up had been like a museum, pretty, silent, and mostly off-limits. But this was a home. Laughter, noise, and comfort all lived within these walls.

  Drew and Grace jogged past her home, the twins both riding balance bikes and sporting bright pink helmets while Grace pushed Ollie in his stroller. She waved and smiled, thinking they’d pass her by, but Grace circled back after Drew took control of the stroller.

  “Morning,” Grace called.

  “You guys are brave, taking all of them out.”

  Her friend laughed. “It’s this or suffer through more Saturday morning cartoons.”

  “Well done, then.”

  “I wanted to invite you over for dinner tonight. Are you free?”

  “That sounds great. What should I bring?”

  Grace smiled and shook her head. “Nothing. I’ve got it covered. But, in the interest of full-disclosure, Drew invited someone, too.”

  Her gut clenched. “Who?”

  “Sully. They’ve kind of got a bromance going on. I didn’t want to be the third wheel. But after our barbecue, I didn’t want to spring him on you.”

  Sloan chewed her bottom lip and tried to work out how she could get out of this. She didn’t really want to see him again in such an intimate setting. “I don’t know if that’s such a good—”

  “Please? You’d be doing me a huge favor.”

  She took a long breath. “Fine. But don’t say I didn’t warn you. We have issues getting along.”

  “Well, the girls are in love with him, so they can be your buffers. Besides, you’ll be hanging out with me while the guys have their man-date.”

  Sloan couldn’t help the smile that turned up her lips. The idea of Carson playing with Evie and Ellie melted her heart. She hadn’t had time to witness that at the barbecue. “What time do you want me to come over?”

  “Five-thirty.”

  “Okay, I’ll see you then. Promise you won’t seat us together or make me be alone with him?”

  Grace grinned. “Cross my heart.”

  By the time five-thirty rolled around Sloan was a nervous wreck. She’d changed her outfit three times and finally settled on a pair of jeans and a soft blush colored top with little black birds printed on it. She thought it made her blue eyes brighter. She pulled her hair into a high ponytail, then added a pair of pearl studs in her ears and a swipe of light pink lip gloss. She’d be lying to herself if she said she didn’t want Carson to like what he saw tonight. She wanted him to appreciate her appearance because she did the same for him every time she saw him.

  She noticed his Harley was already parked in the driveway when she crossed the street and made her way to the porch. He was early. Damn. She’d wanted to be there first, get the upper hand and be more comfortable when he arrived. As she rang the doorbell, she blew out a tense breath. At least this time they weren’t going to be blindsided by each other. Why was she letting him make her feel this way?

  Grace answered, Ollie perched on her hip. “Hi, Sloan. You look beautiful.” Her smile was genuine and broad, instantly putting Sloan at ease.

  “I brought wine,” she said, holding up the bottle.

  “Have I mentioned I’m glad we’re friends?”

  That made her laugh and when Ollie reached for her, she traded the wine for the baby. He snuggled against her, melting her heart and causing a stab of pain at the same time. Over the years she’d worked up the ability to handle the soft, sweet smell of a baby, and the snuggles that came along with them. But there had been a time when even the sight of a mother with her child hurt so badly tears would come to her eyes.

  Ollie rested his head on her shoulder and nuzzled closer. “Yes, Ollie. I’m really here for you. Your mom is just a bonus.”

  They walked inside and Sloan’s chest tightened at the sight of Carson sitting on the couch w
ith both little girls nestled in on either side of him as he read them a book. They’d draped him in brightly colored toy necklaces and a paper crown sat perched atop his head.

  “What’s going on here?” she asked.

  His gaze snapped up to hers and by the pink in his cheeks, it was obvious he was embarrassed. “We’re having a story break before our tea party,” he offered.

  “Oh, a tea party? I love tea. Can Ollie and I join you ladies?”

  Ellie cut a glance up at Carson. “She looks like a princess.”

  He looked Sloan up and down and smiled. “It’s true. She’s as pretty as one.”

  “Maybe she can kiss you so you won’t be a frog anymore?”

  A laugh rolled through him. “I didn’t know I was a frog.”

  “Not yet. We have to wait for the witch to say the spell.”

  “Well then, we should keep her around. I don’t want to get stuck being a frog.”

  Evie smiled up at her. “Okay. But you have to be nice to Sully. He’s our prince.”

  Tone serious, she fought to keep the smile from her lips. “Of course. I promise.”

  They spent the better part of thirty minutes drinking pretend tea and avoiding each other’s eyes. When Grace finally announced dinner was ready, Sloan scooped Ollie back into her arms and helped settle him into his high-chair. True to her word, Grace had seated Sloan next to her and Carson next to Drew, but that meant the man she’d been trying to avoid was directly across from her. His bright blue gaze continually found hers and on more than one occasion her foot bumped his under the table. It was awkward and uncomfortable, and by the end of the night, she couldn’t remember why she was doing this to herself. Carson doted on Evie and Ellie the whole evening, chatting with them, letting them show him their most treasured possessions, and each time he gave one of them his full attention, her heart broke a little more.