Untamable

by Jamie Schlosser

  I tucked the rogue piece of hair behind her ear. “I thought that was the point of makeup.”

  Twisting her lips to the side, she gave me a look. “No.”

  “Nikki used to put me in all her dresses when I was too little to have an opinion about it. How about that?”

  “Didn’t happen unless I see pictures as proof,” she quipped. “There.” Sitting back to admire her work, she picked up a small mirror and some bright pink lipstick. She handed them out to me. “I’ll let you finish.”

  I held up the mirror.

  “Holy shit,” I barked at my reflection, turning my face to view all angles. The wig she’d put on me was the same pink as the lipstick. “I don’t even recognize myself.”

  “That’s the point. No one will know it’s you.”

  “I can’t believe I’m doing this,” I grumbled before clumsily coating my mouth with the obnoxious hue. “I’m drawing the line at panty hose and heels, though.”

  Frowning at the long, silky, cream-colored dress she’d put me in, she nodded. “No one will be looking at your boots.”

  I huffed out a laugh. “That’s for sure.”

  Estelle pulled a small blue binder from the top drawer of the wooden desk and opened it to the front laminated page.

  “I think you’ll be the most useful helping people find things. For example, if they’re looking for an adult animal costume”—she flipped the page—“they’ll find them in this section on the second floor. And the kids’ costumes are here,” she said, pointing to a yellow square.

  The color-coded sheet was a map of the entire store. In alphabetical order.

  “Wow, this is crazy organized,” I praised. “Makes it easy for me.”

  “I have it on good authority you’re familiar with the location of the dressing rooms.” Estelle snickered and threw me a wink.

  My cock twitched at the reminder. At least my dress would hide my boner.

  “Hats and gloves are here—”

  “Estelle.” I took the binder from her hands and stood up. “No worries. I’ve got it. You go do your thing.”

  “Thank you.” Beaming, she raised up on her tiptoes and pressed her lips to mine, making a noise when she realized some of the pink transferred to her mouth. Rubbing her lips together, she glanced at the mirror. “Perfect.”

  “One more,” I demanded, bending to give her a soft kiss. I wanted to mark her all over. Instead, I made a shooing motion with my hand.

  Estelle opened the door, and the mayhem was unreal. I caught sight of the checkout line that wrapped halfway around the front room.

  Adjusting my chiffon collar, I took a deep breath.

  It was time to go out there and be the best drag queen ever.

  “How does it feel to be down to these two?” I gestured to Alice on Estelle’s lap and Bobby on mine.

  “Strange,” she replied, ignoring whatever was on TV. “But I’m happy for everyone who found homes. I’m worried about Peter, though.”

  “Try not to be. Think of it as a good thing. This explains a lot about his behavior, and I bet he’ll be happier now.”

  It was 10 p.m. and we were both exhausted. The craziness at the shop had finally died down around six because of parties and trick or treating.

  But the entire building looked like a bomb had gone off in there. We’d picked up as much as we could, trying to put all the costumes back in the right places, but it was a lost cause.

  Around eight, Estelle suggested we go back to her place and drink. I whole-heartedly agreed.

  “I like you like this,” I said, grinning at her post-shower bedtime look. She’d chosen to wear one of my T-shirts with pink cat pajama pants. Estelle always looked beautiful, but her natural state was my favorite. Softer. More vulnerable.

  “Like what?” Scoffing, she self-consciously touched the still-wet ponytail on top of her head. “You mean the hot mess I’ve got going on right now?”

  “You look good with no makeup.”

  She grinned wickedly. “That’s funny, because I was about to tell you how much I loved that mascara on you today.”

  Amused, I grunted. “The things I do for you.”

  “I’m so grateful for your help today.” Estelle’s face got serious. “With Peter and the shop.”

  I responded with a kiss and playfully tweaked her chin.

  “Out of all the cats, what makes Alice and Bobby so special?” I asked, trying to keep her mind off Peter. “Why do you want to keep them?”

  Smiling, Estelle ran a hand down Alice’s back. “Bobby and I bonded during all the bottle feeding. He’d always stick around to snuggle afterward. He used to fall asleep in my hoodie pocket.”

  “And Alice? I assumed it was because you had her first.”

  Estelle shook her head. “I can see why you’d think that, but no. Alice gives backrubs.”

  “What?”

  “Here, watch.” Removing Alice from her lap, Estelle got down on the floor, lying flat on her stomach. She made some kissy noises at Alice. The cat jumped down, climbed onto Estelle’s back, then started kneading the muscles with her paws. Letting out a sigh, Estelle gave me a cheeky grin.

  “You’ve been holding out on me,” I grumped, slightly offended. “Where are my backrubs?”

  She laughed.

  Just then, something on the TV caught my attention.

  “… tamer might have a new love interest,” the woman said as a picture of Estelle and I appeared on the screen. “We have this steamy shot of the pair sharing a romantic moment and some Halloween shenanigans outside of an animal hospital in Emery Matheson’s hometown. An inside source says the woman is Estelle Winters, a cat hoarder he met on the set of season three of The Pussy Tamer.”

  Without taking her eyes off the screen, Estelle took the seat next to me on the couch again.

  “A cat hoarder?” the guy next to her chimed in. “That sounds pretty crazy.”

  “It sure does. Has Emery Matheson fallen for the crazy cat lady? Perhaps the pussy tamer has finally met the untamable. Stay tuned to find out.”

  Shit.

  The rumors had spread fast. That wasn’t even a local channel. It was one of those entertainment networks that had the audacity to call themselves the news.

  “Fucking gossip television.” Grabbing the remote from the coffee table, I hit the off button and turned toward Estelle.

  “We made national news, huh?” She was still looking at the dark screen.

  “I’m really sorry. I never wanted this for you.” I made a sound of frustration. “It’s all my fault.”

  She shrugged, like it wasn’t a big deal. “Well, I guess we don’t have to sneak around anymore.”

  “You’re not mad?”

  Her eyes flitted my way, worried but not angry. “All they did was insinuate that we’re dating. That’s not embarrassing—people date. I’d be pissed if they said something that wasn’t true, but it’s not like we can deny it. And that’s nothing compared to the dildo debacle. I can’t wait to see what they have to say about that,” she said sarcastically.

  “This is just the tip of the iceberg,” I explained, remorse evident in my tone. “They’ll find out things about you. They’ll interview old friends and neighbors. They’ll be outside your apartment every damn day.”

  Looking down at her pajama pants, she picked at a loose string. “Well, when you’re done here, they won’t have a reason to stick around, especially when they realize how boring I am.”

  My heart actually hurt at how casually she talked about our time together ending.

  “Estelle,” I started, wanting to tell her how I truly felt—that I was in love with her.

  That I had fallen in love with the potty-mouthed, no-panty-wearing, trike-riding, crazy cat lady. Maybe I’d even fallen in love with her a little during that first interview when she talked about bottle feeding her kittens.

  But the words got stuck in my throat.

  I’d never said I love you to a woman before, and I wanted
it to be perfect and special. The beach trip was where my confession needed to happen.

  So I just tipped her face toward mine and said, “You’re a lot of things, Estelle. But boring isn’t one of them.”

  CHAPTER 25

  ESTELLE

  “I have a problem,” I practically shouted at Janice as soon as my ass hit the seat in my office.

  I’d called her over to the shop for an emergency session because I couldn’t keep quiet about Emery any longer. The post-Halloween disaster upstairs needed tending to, but it would have to wait.

  Janice nodded in agreement. “That’s quite a crowd you’ve got out there. I had to bulldoze my way through the reporters just to get to the door.”

  I waved a dismissive hand because paparazzi were the least of my problems. “I don’t really care about them, but since we’re on the topic of the news, you probably already know what I’m about to say.”

  She gave me a small smile. “Well, out with it then.”

  “I know you don’t dabble in the area of sex therapy,” I started, anxiously bouncing my leg. “But Emery and I have been involved. To be frank, we’ve been going at it like rabbits. And now I’m emotionally attached, even though I tried really hard not to let that happen.”

  “Ah. I see your dilemma. What are you going to do?”

  I frowned. “There isn’t really anything to do. Next week, he’ll be gone.”

  “What’s stopping you from continuing the relationship?”

  “It was never supposed to turn into a relationship. We both agreed on that in the beginning.”

  “But things have changed for you,” she said with understanding.

  “Yeah.” I sighed. “Remember how I promised myself I’d never date someone again if they didn’t like me for who I am?”

  Her lips thinned. “That’s an issue with Emery?”

  “No, that’s the thing. He really gets me. He’s fucking perfect.”

  “What about Emery’s feelings? Do you think things have changed for him too?”

  Nodding, I bit my lip. “Maybe. He hasn’t come right out and said it, but I think so.”

  “I’m confused about what the problem is then. Talk it out.”

  “You say that like it’s so easy.” I leaned forward, spearing her with a look. “This is Emery Matheson we’re talking about.”

  “And you’re Estelle Winters and I’m Janice Hudson. I’m glad we all know who we are,” she deadpanned, making me laugh.

  Over the past couple of weeks, Janice and I had talked about a lot of things. Every time one of the cats found a new home, she helped me work through my feelings. I’d come to rely on her far too much. Was it sad that my therapist had become my closest friend?

  “What am I supposed to do when he’s away?” I asked, my voice heavy with sadness and uncertainty. “I’ll be all alone.”

  Leaning forward to match my body language, Janice rested her elbows on her knees. “I know we’ve talked about this, but I’m going to suggest it again. Form new friendships. Be social. You’re way too young to be spending all your time working and hanging out with your cats.”

  I let out a huff. “I know.”

  “You should talk to Emery. Confronting the issue head-on is the only way it’ll get solved.”

  She was right. But the thought of bringing up the commitment talk made me feel all hot and twitchy. Hell, maybe Emery would cave first. That was probably the safest bet.

  We still had several days together. Hopefully it was enough time for us to figure things out.

  CHAPTER 26

  EMERY

  Since Estelle had damage control to do at the shop, I’d offered to pick Peter up from the hospital. Knowing how cantankerous he could be, I told Christine I didn’t mind retrieving him from his cage.

  “He’s actually been quite docile since coming out of surgery,” she said as she led me to the back of the clinic.

  “Docile? Really?” I asked and she nodded.

  “Kinda sweet too.”

  Imagine my surprise when I was greeted by a pleasant cat. Not just pleasant, but downright friendly. He rubbed his head against the metal bars and meowed.

  Shocked, I glanced around, making sure I didn’t have the wrong animal. I opened the cage and ran my hand down his back. Once. Twice. Three times, ending at his tail. Still a happy cat.

  “We’ll see how you feel about me after this.” I picked him up, being careful of his surgical site.

  He purred. Actually purred.

  “What, no witty comeback? No ‘fuck you, Emery?’”

  He answered with a pathetic meow.

  “Yeah. I guess almost getting your dick chopped off can change a guy. Tough luck, buddy.”

  The reconstructive penis surgery the doctor had mentioned as a last resort was cringe-worthy for any male, no matter the species. But given the vast improvement in Peter, I was pretty sure it wouldn’t come to that. His new owner would just need to be diligent about keeping him on the right diet.

  I gently tied the plastic cone around Peter’s neck, then placed him in his carrier.

  After getting his go-home instructions, medications, and a new prescription food, I left with a brand-new cat. I brought him back to Estelle’s, using the key she gave me to get in.

  He got odd looks from Alice and Bobby because of the cone, but after several minutes of sniffing, they finally accepted him as family.

  I looked at the time on my phone. Almost 10 a.m. I needed to get moving because I had an appointment with my lawyer. I hadn’t mentioned it to Estelle since the day of the ‘dildo debacle’, but I had plans to follow through on getting her contract checked out.

  I just hoped I’d have good news for her.

  “You can’t air it.” I dropped the contract onto the dining table in Steve’s hotel room, unable to keep the smug grin off my face.

  “Excuse me?” he sneered.

  “The dildo footage,” I clarified, victoriously pointing at the papers. “Page five. Estelle is a business owner and you can’t air anything that could be seen as defamation of character that might impact her financially.”

  Satisfaction flowed through me when he sputtered, “You took it to a lawyer?”

  “You bet your ass I did. If you put that on the show, she would have every right to sue us. You wouldn’t want that, would you?”

  “Whose side are you on here?”

  “The right one. We’re here to make people’s lives better, not drag them through the mud.”

  He let out a humorless laugh. “We’re here to make good television. To get good ratings. To get people to sit their asses on the couch and watch the fucking show. That is the only purpose.”

  I shook my head at his callous claim, but he wasn’t done yet.

  “Oh, you thought it was about making a difference?” he went on. “The sooner you get your head out of the clouds, the better.” Taking one more look at the contract, he tossed it down on the table. “Fine. I won’t air the footage. Happy now?”

  Not exactly, but Estelle would be—that was the most important thing. “Yes.”

  “Good. Now, if you wouldn’t mind, could you get one last interview with Estelle today?” He looked at his Rolex. “I’ve got a flight to catch at five.”

  “Last interview?” I asked, confused. “What flight?”

  “Rhonda didn’t tell you?”

  “Tell me what?”

  “Today is the last day of filming here. Our next shoot starts on Tuesday. This one’s gonna be a doozy. A divorced couple is going through a nasty custody battle over their three cats.”

  He couldn’t be serious.

  “Peter just got out of the hospital today.” Now it was my turn to sputter. “He needs time to heal and we haven’t found him a home yet.”

  “So?”

  “So we haven’t finished the job.”

  Seeming bored, he waved a hand. “We’ll do a wrap-up segment where we say Peter found a home and all is well.”

  Anger bubbled up. “Y
ou mean we lie.”

  He sighed. “Nothing of significance has been filmed in days. We’ve just been sitting around, waiting for him to find a home. We can’t fix them all, okay? We tried. But now we have a new shoot. Deadlines and all that.”

  “No.”

  “No? No what?”

  “No, I’m not leaving until we’re done. I can’t let Estelle down.”

  Steve set his coffee mug down a little harder than necessary and liquid splashed onto the table. “You stay behind, and you’re breeching the contract. You’re really going to throw this all away for some fling? Come on, Emery. Be smart about this.”

  “It’s not like that.”

  How could I explain that Estelle wasn’t just some fling? That it wasn’t just about fucking a hot client? That she’d come to mean so much to me in such a short amount of time?

  Most people wouldn’t understand. And Steve, of all people, certainly wouldn’t be able to grasp such a concept of falling in love so quickly. My dad used to talk about love at first sight all the time, but as I got older, I thought he was just romanticizing the whirlwind romance he’d had with my mom.

  Love that easy couldn’t exist.

  But it did for me.

  I had no idea how Estelle felt. Sometimes she looked at me like I hung the moon, but it was safe to say after I failed and got her evicted, she might not think so highly of me anymore.

  Oblivious to how close I was to knocking his lights out, Steve continued, “Listen, I don’t care who you bang, as long as it doesn’t interfere with the show. In four days, we begin filming the next episode. Which means I need you back in Chicago in two. Everyone else is packing up tomorrow. You had your fun and now it’s time to move on.”

  “Fuck you,” I spat the words, slamming my hand on the table. “Why do you have to be such an asshole all the time?”

  “Aha!” Grinning, he leaned back in his chair. “There’s the attitude you need to have. Why do you always have to be so fucking polite? That good ole boy act you’ve got going on? It’s great for the show. But behind the scenes, you need to have a little more grit.”