by Caisey Quinn
It took all of her effort to move her head. To her left, Corporal Fisk was yelling at a group of guys who were taking selfies with their phones while wearing the suits. Or maybe he was talking cordially with them—she wasn’t sure. His arms were moving a lot.
Someone called her name but she couldn’t turn far enough to see him.
“Three o’clock, Private Brooks,” Private James repeated. “Turn.”
Right, the package. She had to get it. She executed the five-point movement necessary to follow his instructions.
“Keep going,” he urged once she began moving in the correct direction. “Almost there.”
Was it her imagination, or was the package getting farther away? It seemed to shrink in the distance with each step she took.
Black spots appeared before her eyes and she wondered if the helmet was dirty. Had she taken a breath? She couldn’t remember. She inhaled deeply and the spots cleared a little.
She recognized the signs.
Her mild claustrophobia combined with low blood sugar from not eating and maybe even what was quickly becoming a full-on panic attack were about to take her down if she didn’t get it together soon.
Chase—Corporal Fisk—whoever he was, was nowhere in sight. She chastised herself for needing him. She didn’t need him. She didn’t need anyone.
More deep breaths of her own stale air. She had this. It was almost over.
The package blurred into two identical ones as she reached for it. They hadn’t been made to wear flame-retardant gloves, thank goodness, so she felt the smooth cardboard with her fingertips. She leaned forward, feeling as if her brain was in danger of escaping her skull as she did.
Once the package was in her hands, she wanted to fist bump Private James. She’d done it. Now she just had to get to the secured location. Three hundred feet. She could do it.
Three hundred seemed like an unnecessarily large number. It might as well have been infinity times ten.
Private James continued directing her until she’d made the perilous trek to the spot they’d chosen.
So close, her subconscious cheered her on. You’re almost done and you can get out of this thing.
But the promise of fresh oxygen seemed like a lie. It was hot—too hot. There was no air to breathe.
Her fingers lifted to remove the helmet but she still held the package.
What was in the package? She couldn’t remember.
But it had to be somewhere. She knew that. And she had to deliver it. Somewhere.
A male voice told her to put one foot in front of the other and she complied to the best of her ability for as long as she could manage.
Her chest ached and the ringing in her ears nearly deafened her.
Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, the voice told her to place the package on the ground. She did as she was told, but when she went to stand back up, the black spots in her vision multiplied. And grew in size.
Until there was nothing but darkness.
8
“She’s receiving fluids intravenously, Corporal. She suffered a mild heatstroke compounded by a panic attack and slight dehydration,” the doctor in the infirmary told him. “She’ll be right as rain in an hour or two. We gave her a mild sedative to calm the hyperventilating she experienced once she came to. When that wears off, she should be good to go. Needs to rest for today, though. She can return to light duty tomorrow.”
Chase thanked the man in the white coat while barely taking his eyes from where Vivien lay on the white sheets that her skin had paled to match. The only color he could see was the red flames of her hair fanned out around her beautiful face.
It matched the red behind his eyes.
This was his fault.
“I’m sorry, Viv,” he said quietly to her unconscious figure once they were alone. “So fucking sorry.”
He’d left her. He’d lectured her on not screwing up the exercise, then committed the biggest sin of all. He’d left his man—well, woman—behind. They were a team of three and he’d abandoned his post. He knew better. But she’d been so damn perfect at everything else he’d figured the exercise would be a cakewalk for her.
There was no excuse for what he’d done, and he’d do whatever he had to in order to make it up to her.
Suffered, the doctor said. She’d suffered because of him. He wanted to kick his own ass.
“Chase?” Vivien’s voice was gravelly and barely audible. Her ocean water eyes swam with confusion as she blinked up at him. “Make what up to me?”
Fuck. He’d been talking out loud without even realizing it. His heart rejoiced at the fact that she’d called him Chase instead of his formal title even though he was still in uniform.
“We can discuss it later. Can I get you anything? Do you want some water?”
She nodded, so he poured a cup from the plastic pitcher on the bedside table.
After she’d taken a few small sips, Vivien sighed and closed her eyes. “So how bad was it? Like, ambulances-and-sirens, major-spectacle bad?”
Chase cleared his throat, wondering if he should play it down so as not to upset her further.
“The medic team was quick to respond. No sirens. But getting you out of that suit while you were unconscious was difficult.”
He could see the pain and shame rippling across her delicate features. “Awesome.”
Stepping closer to her bed, he did the one thing he’d wanted to do for weeks. He touched her. Not necessarily inappropriately, but he laid his hand on her much smaller one. “If it’s any consolation, you aren’t the first one to have an episode in that suit, and you won’t be last. By the end of the week, it will be forgotten. Consider it forgotten already.”
She huffed out a loud breath of disbelief. “You’re just saying that to make me feel better.”
Chase shrugged. “Is it working?”
She shook her head at him but one corner of her mouth turned up. “So when are they going to let me out of here? I feel fine.” She moved to stand and her legs threatened to give out beneath her. Chase steadied her and eased her back into the bed.
“Maybe give yourself a little longer to get your land legs back.” He pulled his hands from her skin reluctantly. “As soon as the doctor clears you, I’ll take you back to the barracks. Corporal Sullivan took over my classes for the rest of the day.”
“Now I feel even worse.”
Chase tried to replay the conversation quickly to determine what he’d said or done to make her feel that way but came up empty. “Why?”
“Because you’re being so sweet to me.” Vivien’s cheeks pinked. “I’ve been thinking of us as in this sort of competition. You’re ranked above me and I have to call you sir, for fuck’s sakes. You’re my CO for the next several weeks. After what happened . . . um, between us, I guess I wanted to make sure you didn’t think of me as some brainless slut that let you—”
“Jesus,” he ground out between his teeth, stopping her before she could go any further. “That’s what you think I think of you?” Vivien looked away without answering, so he stepped closer and lowered his voice in case any staff members were nearby. He reached for her chin and shifted it gently so she had to look into his eyes when he spoke. “Last I checked, there were two consenting adults in that truck. Correct?”
Vivien nodded wordlessly.
“You are the furthest thing from brainless or a slut. You’re easily the brightest soldier in your unit. And I don’t even think there is such a thing as a slut. We both made a conscious choice to do what we did. Maybe we would’ve made a different one had we known I was going to be your CO.” He paused, contemplating whether or not he’d have behaved differently if he’d known, then sighed. He didn’t know for sure, but he knew he wasn’t going to apologize or take it back. “Then again, maybe we wouldn’t have.”
“I wouldn’t have,” Vi
vien said quietly. Her pupils widened and Chase felt as if he were falling into them, being hypnotized by the vulnerability in her gaze and the need in her voice. “I’ve had plenty of time to think about it. I know what you are to me now and where we stand. It might make things uncomfortable between us, but I wouldn’t take it back even if I could.”
“Good,” Chase practically growled out. “Because for the record, if I wasn’t your CO and it wouldn’t land both of our asses in hot water, I was a long way from done.”
Her chest rose between them and Chase was suddenly very aware of how thin that gown she wore was. And that she was completely naked underneath.
“Every time I look at your mouth, at your lips . . .” she began quietly, “I can’t help but remember . . .” Her eyes dropped to his mouth.
“How fucking good you tasted on them?”
A soft whimper escaped her throat and Chase was ready to say the hell with everything he’d worked for, and crash his mouth over hers right that second. He needed more. Another taste. Sweet relief from the torment of seeing her laid out on the ground because he’d failed her. But the moment was shattered by a loud, frantic beeping sound and a female nurse rushing in.
Chase moved several feet back to allow the nurse access and to prevent himself from giving in to the overwhelming impulse to claim her entire body in a hospital bed with witnesses around.
“Private Brooks, are you feeling all right?” The woman looked panicked as she silenced the monitor. “Your heart rate is through the roof. Blood pressure spiked quite a bit.”
Vivien laughed lightly. “Um, we were discussing work and I guess I just got a little overexcited.”
Chase was overexcited. Overheated. Overwhelmed. Overcome with the need to finish what they’d started. He excused himself to “make a call” while the nurse tended to Vivien. The only call he made was to step into a nearby men’s room and adjust the rock-hard erection threatening to tent the front of his uniform trousers.
Christ. He felt like a sex-deprived teenager again. Worse. As a teenager he’d gotten his share of female attention. He never brought anyone home because of his dad but he’d managed.
This was something else, an insatiable hunger. A craving for a taste of something specific he wasn’t supposed to have.
He clenched his teeth and thought of every nonsexual topic his mind could conjure. Picturing his fellow soldiers being wounded in battle did the trick. Enough that he could return to Vivien’s room without injuring or scandalizing anyone along the way.
Her door was ajar when he returned, so he pushed it open lightly. All of his efforts to calm his dick were rendered immediately pointless as he was greeted with a full view of Vivien’s bare backside. He closed the door with a soft click behind him. He cleared his throat to make sure she was aware of his presence, but when she peeked over her shoulder, she didn’t seem the slightest bit alarmed. Her long, lean body was the epitome of perfection. Her hair cascaded down her back like a waterfall of fire. He practically had to shove his fist in his mouth to keep from telling her to bend over so he could take her from behind the way he’d planned the night they met.
“Sorry,” he grunted out, averting his eyes quickly. “I’ll just be out in the hall—”
“Can you give me a hand?” Vivien didn’t look too terribly concerned that he’d seen her bare ass. “The nurse said I could get back into my uniform. I should be getting discharged soon.”
“Sure.” Feeling nervous for the first time in a long time, Chase stepped closer and eased Vivien’s hospital gown the rest of the way down. It pooled at her feet and she gestured to a pair of pale pink lace panties on the chair beside them.
“Um,” Vivien glanced over her shoulder at him shyly. “Bending down makes me feel light-headed. You’ve pretty much already seen everything so . . .”
Chase moved to her front, retrieved the delicate undergarments and bent down to her feet. God, the trouble he could get into down here. He closed his eyes in an attempt to avoid temptation but his tongue danced behind his teeth like a snake with a mind of its own. Her thighs were so smooth and inviting. Placing a kiss or two on them would be the ruination of his white-knuckled grip on his sanity. He’d never be able to stop there.
She stepped into the leg openings, and he lifted the lace to her lower thighs before she took over. Next were pants, which he pulled on as she expertly clasped her bra closed. By the time she sat on the bed so he could help with her socks and boots, she’d gotten her shirt on and buttoned.
When his eyes met hers, he saw his own powerful desire reflected back at him.
“You’re almost as good at putting my clothes on as you are at getting them off, Corporal,” she said without breaking eye contact.
“Easy, Private,” he cautioned her gruffly. “Literally using every ounce of self-control I have at the moment.”
Vivien eyes crinkled in the corners. “Talk about going above and beyond the call of duty.” She bit her lower lip. “Sir.”
Something loosened in his chest, but every other part of him was tightening noticeably.
“Private Brooks?” The male doctor was back, and not a moment too soon. “How are you feeling?”
Chase straightened and stepped back into the corner of the room near the window. He wished it were open. He was in desperate need of air. Of any scent that wasn’t hers.
By the time he’d cleared his head, the doctor was finishing up her discharge instructions.
“—important to take it easy, drink lots of fluids, and avoid overexerting yourself for the next twenty-four hours.”
“Yes, sir,” Vivien answered dutifully. She took the papers he handed over, and Chase moved toward the door. “Thank you.”
Once the doctor had left them, they made sure they had all of her belongings, and made their way out of the hospital and to Chase’s truck. He kept his hand on the small of her back as he guided her inside the cab. He didn’t dare to so much as glance at the backseat. The flood of memories of their night together would be so powerful—they’d pull him under and hold him down.
Vivien was quiet on the short trip to her living quarters. He couldn’t help but wonder if she was reliving their night together as well. It was like returning to the scene of a crime.
Her building was one of the newer ones on base. Chase got out quickly and opened her door. Helping her down, he made sure to keep his hands and eyes on purely platonic locations. Mostly.
“You don’t have to walk me to my door. I’m feeling okay now.”
Chase gave her an appraising once-over. Maybe she was okay, but he was still a little dazed from the day’s events so he assumed it was possible she was too. “I don’t have to do anything. And yet, I’m walking you to your door.”
She grinned, and he gestured for her to lead the way. A small lobby and study area greeted them after Vivien swiped her ID. She continued walking until they reached what Chase feared might be the death of his resolve to keep his hands to himself.
An elevator. A small elevator. Tiny, really. As in, Aiden would’ve struggled to fit all by his lonesome in the damn thing.
His heart pounded a little harder, his breathing becoming slightly more labored when they stepped inside.
More enclosed spaces with her. As if he wasn’t already struggling to behave as it was. But it wasn’t his reaction that was making him nervous. It was hers.
Vivien’s color had faded from her face completely and she was alarmingly pale. He hit the button on the elevator and turned to face her. “You okay?”
She nodded without looking at him directly. “I usually take the stairs.”
Well that explained the toned legs and perfect ass.
“You just got out of the hospital,” he reminded her. “Maybe today we can make an exception.”
She gave him a terse smile but when they stepped inside the narrow space, he suspected she stoppe
d breathing.
Her room was on the fifth floor and if he wasn’t mistaken, she didn’t take a breath or move a muscle the entire ride up. Once they stepped out into the hallway, he heard her audible exhalation. Was it the proximity to him or the elevator itself that made her so nervous? He wasn’t sure, and after the day she had, he didn’t feel that putting her on the spot by asking outright was a good idea.
Once they reached her dorm room he stood aside while she unlocked the door. He was thankful she hadn’t put her hat on, allowing him one more glimpse of that gorgeous hair he wanted to bury his hands in. Being around Vivien Brooks was both pleasure and torture, Heaven and Hell.
He allowed himself one last breath of her intoxicating scent before stepping away from the door in case her roommate was inside.
“You can come in,” Vivien offered softly. “If you want to, I mean. I’m sure you have stuff to do but I can make some coffee.”
Chase frowned. “You don’t have a roommate?” Far as he knew, everyone living in the barracks had roommates. The rooms were all either quads or doubles.
Vivien shook her head. “I was told there was some type of error and my roommate had transferred to a different location, but somehow that wasn’t communicated to housing.” She shrugged. “The privacy is kind of nice actually.”
A tinge of something that sounded like loneliness lingered in her tone but Chase could think of several benefits to her having a private room. One in particular that meant no, he could not come inside for coffee because his waning control would lead to his coming inside of her before he’d finished his first cup.
“I should go,” he told her, taking another step back. “But contact me if you need anything. My information is on the paperwork from class.”
Disappointment flickered in her gaze before she looked away. “Thank you, Corporal. Sir. For everything today.”