by K. C. Lynn
A long moment later, my forehead rests on his shoulder as I try to catch my breath. I stay silent while I absorb what my body just went through. The realization that I was finally touched and pleasured by the one man I have ached for, has some of the ugly memories and shame leaving my soul.
Before I realize it, tears are rushing down my cheeks, hot and fast. Cade slips his hand out from my panties and wraps both of his strong arms around my trembling body, bringing peace and safety with his embrace. He doesn’t say anything; he just holds me and lets me release what I need to.
When my tears start to subside, I turn my face into the crook of his neck and press a kiss up on the underside of his rough jaw. “Thank you.” My words are barely a whisper, but he hears them.
He turns his face toward mine and kisses the tears at the corner of my eye. “You’re fucking beautiful, Red,” he says quietly and I’m surprised at how gruff his voice sounds. “This is all you should have ever known and I fucking promise you, it will be all you ever feel for the rest of your life. I’ll never let anyone hurt you again.”
His words cause more tears to fall, but also heals a little more of my soul because I believe him. I know that he will never let anyone hurt me again.
After giving me a quick, hard kiss, he pulls my nightgown up and back into place then wraps my sweater around me before standing up with me in his arms. My legs wrap around his hips and my arms around his neck. I plant soft kisses along his jaw and neck as he begins heading to the back door.
“Shit!” He stops suddenly then walks back to where we were. “I almost forgot my hat.”
I giggle as he bends over with me still in his arms, and swipes it off the patio. “You have a serious obsession with that thing, Walker,” I tease.
“I know, baby. It’s fucking scary and completely unhealthy.”
I chuckle again at his honesty. “Mmmm, it’s okay, because you look really sexy in it.” I follow up my comment with a kiss to his neck, along with a sharp nip.
He releases a primal growl. “Stop that shit. I’m close to fucking coming as it is.”
The remark suddenly has me realizing how selfish I was for not thinking about him. I was so caught up in my emotions that it hadn’t clued into me yet. After he locks up, I bring my face in front of his and cup his jaw. “I can change that.”
I watch him grind his teeth with restraint before he shakes his head. “No, not tonight. There will be plenty of time for that later.”
“But I want to. I want you to feel good and…”
He shakes his head again. “I meant it, Red. We’re going to take it slow. Tonight was a good night; let’s leave it at that. Believe me, getting to touch you was enough for me and I promise I will collect eventually.”
Not having any words for what this man does to me, I lean in and give him a soft kiss on the mouth.
Heading upstairs, he carries me into my room then lays me down in my bed. I grab his shirt in my hands as he begins to stand. “Please tell me you are going to sleep in here with me?” I hate that I sound vulnerable but I need to sleep in his arms tonight more than ever.
He stares down at me for a moment before he answers, “Yeah baby, I’m staying.” Standing, he reaches behind his shoulders and pulls his shirt off in one smooth motion.
Holy mother of all that is holy. I forgot how beautiful his body truly is—scars and all. My mouth literally goes dry at the sight of it.
“Red, you keep looking at me like that, baby, and I won’t be able to sleep here with you tonight.”
Oh geez, that’s embarrassing. Instead of showing my embarrassment, I quickly compose myself and smile up at him unashamed. “Sorry, can’t help myself. But I’ll be good. Promise.”
He grunts, not believing me, and crawls on the other side of the bed. He keeps his pants on and stays on top of the covers, but pulls me to him until my top half is draped across his chest. I breathe in his clean, masculine scent and snuggle into his warm, hard chest.
Before I can stop myself, my fingers begin trailing up the hard plains of his abs, “You know, Walker,” I start quietly, “I’ll bet you would be a lot more comfortable if you took all your clothes off and got under the covers with me.”
I feel him tense, and just as I reach the decorative piece of metal that is pierced into his nipple, he grabs my wrist and lets out a warning growl. “Faith, I fucking mean it. Behave!”
I chuckle at the strain in his voice then feel bad, not wanting to make it harder on him. “Okay, okay. Sorry, I couldn’t resist. I promise no more.”
Turning, I press a soft kiss to his chest, before resting my cheek against his strong and steady heartbeat. The one rhythm that I committed to memory so long ago and one I have yearned to hear again. I desperately want to tell him I love him; that I always have, even from that first week in Iraq, because I know that more than ever now. But I decide to hold that back just a little longer and instead say, “Goodnight, Walker.”
I feel him place a kiss on top of my head. “Night, Red,” he whispers ever so softly.
Before too long, exhaustion settles over my satisfied body and I fall into a deep slumber, feeling the safest and most at peace I have felt since… well ever.
CHAPTER 22
Cade
The next morning I’m woken from one of the best sleeps of my life by a tiny gasp. My eyes shoot open and I immediately stare into Faith’s beautiful face that’s soft with sleep. When I realize the sound didn’t come from her I turn over to see the kid standing behind me. She wears her princess nighty from the night before and her black beanie, which makes me wonder if she slept with it on.
My chest pulls tight at the sight of her pale face and big blue eyes that are welled with tears. I quickly remember I’m not wearing my shirt and realize she’s seeing my scars for the first time. Shit! I clear my throat, trying to decide how is best to handle this situation, and Faith ends up waking up from the sound of it.
When she sees Ruthie standing there, looking like someone just killed her cat, she sits up quickly. “Ruthie, sweetie what’s wrong?”
Instead of answering Faith, she looks only at me, her lip beginning to quiver as big, fat tears start spilling down her cheeks. “Who gave you all doze owies?”
“Oh…” Faith sighs sadly.
Not being able to bear the sound of Ruthie’s first sob, I reach over and pick her up, bringing her on my lap. She wraps her arms around my neck and buries her head in my chest. I don’t say anything because I’m having a hard time finding my voice, especially when I look over at Red and see her eyes turning glassy too.
Jesus, I’m not equipped to handle this shit. I’m not used to people caring about me. Well, other than Jaxson and Sawyer, but they’re different.
Faith reaches over and starts rubbing Ruthie’s back. I watch her struggle to find words of her own. “Ruthie, remember when I told you how I met Cade?” She turns her face to Faith and nods, her tears soaking my chest. “And remember when I told you he and his friends saved my life?” She nods again and I watch Red swallow thickly before she continues, “Well that is how he got those scars, because he saved my life.”
The kid sits up and removes her glasses so she can wipe her tear-soaked cheeks, her lip still quivering as she tries to stop crying. After putting her glasses back on, she wraps her arms around my neck again and squeezes the life out of me. “I’m sowwy someone huwt you, big guy.”
I hug her back and it takes me a minute to find my voice, “Don’t be sorry for me, kid, I’m not. I’m glad I have them, because if I didn’t Faith wouldn’t be here.”
A sudden, soft noise draws my attention over to Faith and I see she’s crying now too. Her tears are just as torturous to my heart as the kid’s are. Grabbing her arm, I pull her to me. She curls into my side and puts her arm over Ruthie.
“I’m sowwy fwor you too, Faif.” Ruthie throws an arm over Faith as well, until we are one giant tangled web. “I’m gwad Tade saved you.”
Me fucking too. I try not to e
ven think about the other potential outcomes.
“Me too, Ruthie,” Faith replies with a whisper before I feel her place a soft kiss on my ribs.
As I hold two girls who have come to mean more to me than I thought anyone could, a sudden panic strikes me, and it tries to pull me under but I quickly push it away. I am in way too deep to back out now and, to be honest, I don’t want to. I’m starting to realize I want this; I want them more than anything. I just hope that I do not fuck this up…
*
An hour later I’m driving Ruthie to school because I wanted Faith to go back to sleep. She looked fucking exhausted this morning… still goddamn sexy but tired, and after our night last night she needed to sleep. I try not to think about how our night ended or else my dick will be in a painful state all day.
I had offered Christopher a ride too but he wanted to walk, which is okay with me because I wanted a chance to talk to Ruthie, just the two of us.
She looks out her window quietly, lost in thought, and I don’t miss the way her tiny shoulders are slumped.
“You doing okay now, kid?”
She turns and gives me a soft smile. It’s a pretty smile. I’ve seen this on her a lot lately. Since Red purchased new clothes that fit her and is helping to keep her hair clean and done up, she shows a true beauty that was missed before, one that no one ever noticed because it was always hidden.
“Yeah, I’m betta now.”
I nod then clear my throat, “Listen, I want to talk to you about something.”
She looks at me inquisitively, “Shoure what’s up?”
It takes me a minute to get my words together. “I want you to promise me that if someone ever does anything to you, or says anything to you that makes you feel uncomfortable, you will tell me.”
There’s a moment of silence as I feel her watch me. I try to school my features so she doesn’t see just how panicked this topic makes me.
“Otay.”
“This goes for anyone, Ruthie, no matter who it is or what they say to you, you always tell me if they make you upset or uncomfortable. Whether it’s a teacher, kid, parent, friend…anyone at that church,” I try to say that without grinding my teeth, but don’t succeed. “Even if they threaten you with something, you don’t listen to them and you always tell me.”
When another moment of silence stretches between us I look over to see her staring at me, scared shitless. Well fuck, I am screwing this up. “I’m sure nothing like that will ever happen, but I just want to make sure that you will always tell me if it does, all right?”
She nods. “Otay, I will. I pwomise.”
I let out a breath, relieved that’s over with. I feel her continue to watch me with questions but I leave it at that. It still makes me insane to know she’s going to be going to that fucking place, but hopefully Red will be with her all the time, and hopefully she will tell me if anyone does fuck with her. And if anyone does… so help them. It will be the end of their fucking life.
CHAPTER 23
Cade
A couple of days later, the three of us are standing in the center of the sparring ring, going over material for the next self-defense class, when Christopher comes bolting into the gym for his shift like a bat out of hell.
He rushes over and jumps into the ring with us. “You have to help me. I’m in serious shit!”
“What’s going on?” Don’t tell me the kid has been busted fighting again.
“Alissa asked me to the school dance.”
I stare at him, waiting to hear what happened next, but he says nothing. I look at Jaxson and Sawyer, wondering if I’m missing something but they seem just as lost as me. I look back at him. “Okay…”
“And, like an idiot, I said yes!”
I wait for him to continue, but again he adds nothing else. “I don’t understand what the problem is? What do you need help with?”
“It’s a huge problem because I can’t dance.”
Oh… well shit! “Don’t look at me, kid. That is not something I can help you with.”
“You don’t know how to dance?” he asks in disbelief.
“Do I look like the kind of guy who can dance?”
Instead of answering he looks at Jaxson next, but Jaxson throws his hands up. “Don’t look at me.”
He drops his head. “I’m so screwed. I’m just going to tell her I can’t go. I don’t know why I said yes in the first place.”
Before I can respond, Evans breaks in, “All right, now just calm down. Let’s not be hasty. I got this shit.”
Oh christ! I brace myself for what the idiot is going to do because I know damn well he doesn’t dance either.
“Okay listen, I just recently discovered this shit is simple. There is nothing to it, kid. You grab the chick and pull her in nice and close.” He holds his arms up and out in front of him. “Now depending how close you want to feel her, you can either hold her hand in your right one or you can put your arms around her waist, and hers around your neck. Personally I say the latter, especially if you want to cop a feel.”
Oh for fuck sakes!
Before I can stop the idiot from speaking further, Christopher jumps in, “What? I can’t do that. I’ll get a boner!”
Jaxson chuckles and I have to admit the kid’s honesty is amusing. Of course Evans wears a smug smile and has to say something completely inappropriate. “Exactly, and if you’re lucky enough she will stroke it for you later.”
“Jesus christ, Evans, what the hell is wrong with you?”
“What?” he asks oblivious, even though he can’t wipe the stupid grin off his face. “It’s not like he isn’t old enough.” He looks back to Christopher, “How old are you anyway? Fifteen?”
Christopher clears his throat. “I just turned sixteen two days ago.”
“What?” I bellow in shock. “What the hell do you mean you turned sixteen two days ago? Does Faith know?” There is no fucking way she does. Why the hell would the kid not say anything?
“No. I didn’t say anything to her because I knew she would make a big deal about it.”
“You think? It’s your birthday, kid, and she’s going to be really upset that she didn’t know about it.”
“Look, it’s not a big deal okay. I haven’t celebrated my birthday since I was ten years old, and even then it was in fucking secret, so just leave it alone.”
Clearly pissed off now, he jumps down from the ring and heads into the locker room. A tense silence settles over the three of us as I think about what he just said. It makes me think about my own childhood. My mom was too fucked up to remember mine, let alone even give a shit, whereas I know his old man did it on purpose, just to be an asshole.
I glance over at Jaxson to see him looking just as pissed off as me, while Sawyer looks at me like I did something wrong.
“What?”
“And you tell me I don’t know how to talk to the kid. At least I didn’t make him storm off.” He grins after he says this then chuckles when I punch his shoulder.
“I still can’t believe you said that shit to him.”
“Whatever. You heard him—he’s sixteen. We had our first fuck by then.”
“So? You do not say that shit to him. We want him to be better than us.”
“What the hell is wrong with us? I think I am pretty fucking cool, and that kid would be lucky to be anything like me. He would definitely be getting laid more that’s for sure.” A second after he says it, he busts out laughing at my expression and knows I’m ready to knock his cocky ass out. “Calm down, man, I’m fucking with you. Jesus. And let’s face it there is nothing wrong with teaching the kid some moves on a chick. It’s better than letting him fuck up and look like an idiot. That shit is awkward at that stage.”
He has a point there. “Well do it with a little more fucking subtlety next time.”
“All right, fine. But just wait, the kid will score and it will all be thanks to me.”
I shake my head and ignore the stupid comment, knowing he is j
ust trying to get a rise out of me. “Are you guys good here, if I leave now and take the kid home?”
There is no point in staying here when he’s pissed off and, if I’m being honest, I’m itching to get home to Faith.
Home… Shit, I really need to figure that out. I haven’t left her house since seeing that asshole in the park. Before I was staying until the restraining order was served but now I’m staying because I can’t be away from her. Even with my dick hard and aching as she sleeps against me, it’s still my favorite place to be…
“Yeah, man, go ahead we’re fine here,” Jaxson replies, pulling me from my thoughts.
“Thanks.”
I jump down then go grab the kid. He’s surprised we aren’t staying for his shift but he doesn’t ask questions and still looks pissed off. Once we get into the truck and head back to the house, I stop letting him sulk. “Listen, I didn’t mean to piss you off back there. I understand your reason for not saying anything, but Faith has been good to you and it’s really going to upset her that she missed your birthday. You and I both know she is going to feel guilty about it, and she deserves more than that.”
“I know,” he grumbles quietly. “I don’t want to hurt her but I know how she will be and I don’t want it to be made into a big deal. She has already done enough.”
“Let her be the one to decide that. Trust me, I get it; I don’t like that shit either. Feel free to tell her that, but she deserves to know. It’s only going to be a matter of time before she finds out anyway.”
“I know. I’ll tell her when we get home.”
“Good, and while you’re at it, ask her to help you with the whole dance thing. I don’t know why you didn’t ask her to begin with.” He looks over at me and gives me a ‘you have got to be shitting me look’ that has my lips lifting slightly. “Okay, I know why you didn’t want to tell her, but she’s going to be the one who can help you with it. And if you like this girl you would be stupid to cancel and not go, otherwise someone else will step in and take her.”
He grunts. “Yeah, probably that douche Ryan, and I already have a hard enough time not punching that asshole out.”