Shifting Time (Skull Shifters MC Book 3)

by Tricia Wagner

  I didn’t know if I was ready for all of this, but Trance continued, “The next morning, I came to Brantley and told him everything that had happened. He wasn’t happy for obvious reasons, but we decided that if Brandinger got close, then we would be sure everyone thought I was dead. He got close, he thought he got me twice. I had on a bullet proof vest, but he did get me in the leg. The first full month I was here, I was recovering. The guys didn’t have a choice but to follow the plan. When I was out moving, it was only to see you. I had to see you, and I was hoping that you would wake and realize I was really there. It hit me hard to see you mourning me, but I thought I was doing you a favor. When I found out about the baby I knew I couldn’t stay away. The day you found out? I was fighting with Doc and Falcon that day about telling you.”

  I didn’t know how to respond. Knowing that all of that had happened with me laying right there. Someone could’ve killed me, and I wouldn’t be here now. “You saved me.” He shakes his head, “I would have been lost without you. Kris, I’m still lost without you. I know that this isn’t going to fix anything overnight, but I want to earn your trust, and I want to be here for you and our baby.”

  Taking in a deep breath, I needed to be sure before I took any kind of steps here. “It’s a lot to take in Trance. I’ve said before I wouldn’t keep you from your baby, but I don’t know if that can include me. I appreciate your thought process, but what I still don’t understand is why not come to me? Why not tell me what happened? Why not trust me enough to follow the instructions? I could’ve mourned in public, and been okay in private.” He nods, “We had no way of knowing when he was watching. If he caught you sneaking to see me, or caught you talking to someone on the phone as if it were me? Kris, it wasn’t because I didn’t want you to know. It wasn’t about trusting you, it was about protecting you.”

  I nod, “And ripping my heart from my chest.” He reaches for me, but I pull back. “I just need time to process all of this.” He nods, “I can understand that, but there’s a few things you don’t know. I can’t tell you because it’s not mine to give. Brantley and Jason have to be there, and they will want their women there too. We’ll set that up when you’re ready.” I nod, “Thanks, and thanks for showing me this.” I turn and leave the secret room heading back to Trance’s room. Shutting the door and making sure he knew that things were not changing at this point.

  Chapter Eight

  I had managed to stay away from Falcon for three days. Staying at the clubhouse was not ideal for my “avoid tactics”, but I got through it. He was obviously done with my avoiding him, because as I pull into the club after work he was standing there waiting for me.

  I got out of my temporary car, and walked toward the club with grocery bags in hand. “Let me carry those for you.” I scoff, “I’m pregnant not incompetent.” He, of course, takes the grocery bags anyways, and walks into the club. I follow closely behind, but I turn to go toward my room. Before I could get to the hall, I felt Falcon’s hand wrap around my arm.

  He swings me around and I give him a “can I help you” look. He closes his eyes, “Kris, we gotta talk this out.” I didn’t have the ability to sugar coat what was about to come out of my mouth. That’s why I shake my head, “No, we really don’t. You were supposed to be my friend! You held me! You stayed with me! You watched me every day get worse instead of better. Last, but certainly not least, you started to insist I see a therapist, because I was seeing my dead boyfriend. Who you knew was still very much alive! Does that about cover it?”

  Falcon doesn’t get to answer because I hear, “You held her?” My eyes swing to Trance who must’ve come out of the back when he heard me yelling. “She was inconsolable. Dude, what did you want me to do? I was supposed to be there for her.” Trance nods, “Not in her fuckin bed. What part of you ever thought that this was going to be okay?” My first reaction was to use Trance’s outburst to make my getaway. Unfortunately, a part of me needed to stop this before it escalated.

  “Guys, it’s all over. He’s alive, you’re both liars, and I don’t want to have this conversation.” With that I turned and walked down the hallway. Getting to my room, I heard Trance behind me yell my name. I hadn’t been able to avoid him for the last three days, but our conversations were short. That was until this morning. He apparently heard me puking my brains out, and he brought me a ginger ale and a cold cloth. I opened the door to his room and walked in. He was on my heels, so I set my purse down and turned around to face him.

  “Kris, I can’t stand the thought of him making a move on you.” To that I laugh, “He wasn’t making a move. I’m pissed at him so I don’t want to stick up for him, but he was there for me. He held me because I was a mess. I had lost the one thing that made sense in my life. Trance, I was so much in love with you there is no way I would’ve looked at another man. Especially that soon. I had already resigned myself to the fact that I was going to be alone forever. On top of that, when I found out about our little peanut, I thought you had sent him or her to me because you knew I couldn’t live life alone. I can’t do this right now. All of this stress isn’t good for me, and I have enough to be figuring out.”

  Trance got close, and unfortunately my body reacted by moving closer. He put out his arms offering a hug and I moved automatically into his arms. Pulling in a deep breath all of my senses were on full hyper awareness. He kisses the top of my head and says, “I’m here. I know it’s all a mess, but I’m here to help and I want to be with you. I understand you can’t do that right now, but one day I want us to be a family. I love you Kristina Lynn Tessa, and I want all of this.” I wanted to cry. Anything that I ever would’ve wanted to hear from Trance. I would’ve killed to hear him say that when I thought he was dead.

  As soon as I have the thought about him being dead, I push away at him. “Trance, I can’t do this. I have to focus on the baby, and that can’t be done if I’m trying to figure out you.” He nods, “We have a meeting tonight though. You promised.” I sigh, “I know.” We were meeting with Brantley, Jason, Sophie, and Mel. The guys were going to give us the full story. Even though a part of me had already forgiven Trance, I wasn’t sure if I was ready to take this meeting. He nods and says, “I’ll leave you to it, but I’ll come get you when the guys get here.” I close my eyes and nod. Opening them again I take him in once more, “I’ll be here.” With that he was out the door.

  I had decided to take a nap, so when the knock came at the door, I must’ve moved faster than the baby liked. That’s why I swing the door open and run for the bathroom. Not my finest moment. Flinging myself in front of the toilet, I lose my lunch. I don’t know how long it takes, but I do know I feel Trance rubbing my back. I pull in a few cleansing breath’s and look up to him. He gives me a shy smile, and I turn to brush my teeth. Gagging through that, I walk back out into the bedroom where I find Trance.

  “Sorry. I must’ve just gotten out of bed too fast.” He nods, “How long until that’s done?” I smirk, “The morning sickness?” He nods, “Um. I have no idea. I know it’s completely normal.” He lets out a breath, “I hate seeing you sick.” I give him my best smile, “I don’t mind at all.” He pulls me in for a side hug and kisses the top of my head, “I can’t believe you’re having my baby.” I pull away from him, “I know. I haven’t wrapped my head around it yet.” He steps toward the door, “You ready?”

  I shake my head, “Not really.” He sighs, “I know. I’m sorry. I just need you to hear all of this, and Brantley’s done hiding everything from Mel. Jason the same with Sophie. We need to get everything out there so y’all understand the threat.” My mouth drops, “Uh, I have no house, office, or car. I think I understand the threat.” He nods, “Well, let’s just see that you understand it fully.”

  Walking out into the clubhouse, I see the girls standing by the bar. This wasn’t a fun meeting, and you could tell by our demeanor that none of us wanted to be here. I give them a nod as Brantley says, “Let’s get this over with.” And he led us into the m
eeting room.

  I sit in awe. My mouth is definitely open, and I have no intention of closing it. Our men went through hell. If these guys were willing to do all of that to them, there was no stopping them from doing the same to us. Brandinger wasn’t alone either. He had people convinced that the Skull Shifters deserved all of this and more. My house, car, and office were only the beginning and I was starting to see this.

  I could hear Sophie lightly sniffle beside me as she thought about what Jason had gone through. On top of that, we all knew that his nightmares were lingering, and now she knows what they’re about. They had made the decision to make it all go away, by “killing” Trance. Trance did what he did for my best friends’ safety. How could I keep being a bitch to him? They could have trusted us. I don’t know if it was hormones or just my true colors, but I stand. “Are we done?” Trance lets out a huff and I look to Brantley.

  He gives me a slow nod, and I turn to leave. I hear Trance stand up and I knew I wasn’t going to get away that easily. I turn back toward him and say, “We need to talk. First, I need a minute with my girls.” He steps back and Mel and Soph stand up to come with me. We head back down the hall in silence, and around the corner to my temporary room.

  Once I shut the door the girls pull me in for a group hug. “Guys I have no idea what I’m supposed to do here. I understand why they did what they did, but it doesn’t make me feel better about getting lied to. How am I supposed to trust that he wouldn’t do something like this again? On top of that, how am I supposed keep moving forward with him right down the hall? Seeing him brings back all the feelings that never really left. We all know I wasn’t exactly moving on.”

  Mel steps back and pulls me at arms-length. “We’re all going to take a minute to get used to the fact that he’s here. We’re also going to take a hot minute to get through this with our guys. They betrayed all of us, and how are we not supposed to be effected by what this put you through? We’re pissed too, but Kris, you have a chance at the future you always thought you would have.” I nod, “And how can I ignore that? I’m so confused, and hurt, and…” I let out a breath, “I don’t even know what I am anymore.”

  They pull me in for a hug, and the three of us head out to have a really horrible conversation with the people we love. They’ve all been scarred, and I didn’t realize how physically scarred that Trance is. I couldn’t just give in, though, and he needed to understand and respect that.

  As we made our way back down we heard the guys talking, “I’m glad it’s out there, but it doesn’t change the fact that Brandinger needs to continue to think you’re gone. It’s not like you can take her to the movies, and try to get her back by taking her out on dates.” I close my eyes as Trance says, “She deserves so much more than what I can give her right now. I’m such a selfish fuck, that I don’t even care.” I roll my eyes, but the smirk I want to fight comes. He was an idiot, but he was always honest.

  I clear my throat and they all swing their eyes to me. Mel and Soph stand next to me and both Jason and Brantley come to take them to talk elsewhere. I pull in a sigh as Trance makes his way to me. “Can we talk? Please?” The pleading in his voice has me nodding instantly. He takes me by the elbow, and gently guides me to my room. We cross through the doorway, and I start to panic not knowing where to sit down.

  “Kris, please come sit.” I look up to him and see that he’s sitting on the bed. I go and I sit toward the head of the bed where my pillows are. I grab one and pull it into my lap for some comfort. He twists his body to me, and I open my mouth to speak, but he beats me to it. “I know that was a lot to take in. I need you to understand that everything I did was because Brandinger is still a threat, and he’s going to stop at nothing to get to me. Even if it’s beyond the grave.”

  I nod, “I hear you. I really do even comprehend everything you’re saying. I still can’t help the feelings of betrayal that I feel thinking about the time we’ve missed out on. I had finally opened myself up. You know how I was raised, and we won’t get into any of that again, but just to point out, you betrayed me worse than they ever did. I gave you my heart, and you know how much that means to me.” He slides a little closer, “Kris, I do understand all of that. Sometimes with my life I have to be in a position to make decisions for others. You won’t always agree with the decisions that I make, but I need you to understand that everything I do is for you and your safety.”

  I close my eyes, “I get it. I really do. How do I know that when another tough situation comes up you aren’t going to leave us? It isn’t just me that I have to consider now.” He inches closer. Don’t think I haven’t noticed that. His proximity is not lost on me. I can smell him. The scent of Trance. It’s one of a kind, and truthfully the reason I should’ve put this all together a lot quicker than I did. I see his arm raise, and he brings it to brush the hair behind my ear that has fallen out of my pony tail.

  “Kris, there is nothing that could keep me from you and this baby. All of this happening is because there was no way I could stay away anymore. Not that I did a great job of staying away before. I know you saw me. Every day you saw me.” I nod, “I did, I also thought I was going crazy.” His frown deepens. “Baby, please can I just hold you. I need you close. I’ve been going crazy without you, and what you don’t understand is that you were tortured with mourning, but I was tortured by not being able to come to you during the light of day.”

  He’s right about that. I was mourning, but he also had to watch that all happening, and know that he had made a decision to keep me alive. That’s why I slightly nod, and he moves to me to pull me into his arms. I don’t hesitate to pull him closer. The feelings I have for him never changed. I just needed to see if I can get passed being lied to. That was the first key to being happy. When I look up into his eyes, I feel like I’m taken back in time.

  Back to when things were much easier. Back to when my love came easily and was reciprocated even easier. This man loves me, and has been through hell. Through the process, he needed to put me through hell. That had to have been one of the worst feelings. I couldn’t imagine purposefully putting him through what he had to do to me. I just don’t know if I’m completely okay with his decisions.

  He gives me a soft look as he brushes my cheek again, and I melt. I lean toward him, and it doesn’t take a second for his lips to find mine. It’s a soft non-probing kiss, and I feel the whimper crawl through my lips as he breaks the soft kiss. “Kris, I don’t want to take advantage of the situation here.” I sigh and lean into him. He pulls his arms back around and just holds me. I know he loves me, and I know I definitely love him. There really isn’t any other place that I would ever want to be. Although, in this situation, there isn’t any other place that I’m allowed to be.

  I look up to him again and spit out a few things that had been weighing on my chest. “Trance, you know that I am obviously in love with you. You also know that because of that, this is extremely hard for me. I need to take this one day at a time. I just need you to kind of go with my flow here. I have no idea how I’m supposed to act.”

  He nods, “I get it. I want to be here for you through all of it. I just need you to let me be here for you and our baby. It kills me to have to keep my distance.” I smile, “Slow though, right?” He smiles, “Absolutely. As slow as you need.” I let out a breath and try to end this night, “Okay, well I’m kind of exhausted, so I’m going to turn in for the night.” He looks around, “Can I stay? Just to hold you.” I really don’t know how ready I am for that, but it isn’t like he hasn’t slept with me throughout the past two months. I give a short nod, and stand to get myself ready for bed.

  Exiting the bathroom, I find Trance in his boxers. His head is to the back of the headboard, arm up behind his head, muscles on display. Maybe this wasn’t such a great idea. He was never easy for me to resist, even though there was a period of time that I used everything in me to push him away. Then he did everything he could to break the bitch in me down. He not only did, but he di
d it well. I was head over heels for him. Then he was gone. Ripped away from me in the worst way. A way that I couldn’t just drive down the street to apologize for something stupid I said, or have him just show up and force me to be okay with us. Just gone.

  That’s why I feel the tear falling out of my right eye, and then the left quickly follows. “Baby?” That was all it takes. I walk to the bed and fall into his arms. Sobbing as he pulls me close and whispers in my ear, “Baby, please don’t cry. I’m here. I’m really here.” He’s really here. Alive. Not dead. Just his voice alone lulls me into a deep sleep.

  Chapter Nine

  I wake with a start to an empty bed. I feel the sob rake through my body. He was never really here. It was all just a dream. Then the door swings open, and I see Trance standing there. Thank God. I swipe at my face as he gets closer, and he pulls me into his arms. I sag with relief as I feel the strong arms pull me closer.

  He rubs my hair from top to bottom, and says soothing things in my ear. I sob through, “Sorry. I’ll get it together. I just had a nightmare, and when I woke up and you weren’t there, I thought it was all a dream.” I hear the sigh of regret as he pulls away and swipes at the hair and tears on my face. “I went to check in with Brantley. I didn’t think you would wake up.” I shake my head, “It’s not your fault…” He interrupts, “You can’t say that. This is all my fault. I just wish I could say I would do it differently if I had it to do all over. In order to protect you, this was the only choice I had. Kris, you have to know this is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my life.”

  I half nod. I do believe that he’s being honest. I just have no idea how to make this feeling go away. “It’s just going to take me some time Trance. I have no idea what I’m doing, but mostly I know that I need to focus on this little one inside of me.” He pulls me close again and I can feel his kiss on top of my head as he lets out a breath.