Forever

by Mary Wasowski

  “What? Elizabeth is leaving? What the fuck is wrong with the women in my life? One leaves me without ever telling me why and the other is having my baby, and is also leaving me! With not one word between us? Well, hell no! I will not let another person walk away from me.” I realize I am screaming out loud, and now Henry is smiling at me. “What the hell are you looking at? And what pray tell is so funny?” I shout at him.

  Proudly looking back at me. He says… “I’m looking at the man I know you to be. I’m laughing now because you have made me very proud, and I know you will make my daughter and grandchild very happy. I’m looking at my son-in-law. Now go after her, Walker, before it’s too late.”

  He bear hugs me and leaves my office. I feel as if my limbs are betraying me, and I can’t move from where I stand. I call out to Stephen to bring the car around. I have a plane to stop.

  “Stephen, please drive faster. I don’t care how many traffic laws we have to break, I can’t let Elizabeth get on that plane.” She promised to give me time to sort this out, and now she thinks leaving me is the best way to solve our issues. I know I haven’t been the ideal boyfriend for her, but we have been better since the Hamptons. I’ve been better. Trying to move on from loving Reese takes all my discipline and control. When Elizabeth told me that she was pregnant, and with my child, something inside of me shifted. I don’t know what it is, but it felt scary and exciting all at the same time.

  I’m not the average twenty two year old by any means. I have just been appointed CEO of one of the largest development companies in the world. I should be on top of the world, and yet I’m chasing down the mother of my child that is running away from me. This is why I didn’t want to pursue anything with Elizabeth. We have been friends for far too long and hurting Elizabeth was never an option, but it’s all I seem to do.

  How will I know I can even be a good father? Phillip Reed wasn’t exactly the ideal role model for me. I can say without a doubt that I will never be like him. I will love my child, and always put him or her first. If I didn’t know it already, I’m already in love with my baby. I have to try to convince Elizabeth to give me another chance. I know in time I can make her happy. I’ve always known that she deserves more, but now she’s carrying my child? I will never be able to let her go.

  “How much longer until we reach the airport, Stephen?”

  “We’re just about there, sir. I’ll drop you off in front.” Please let me make it. We arrive at J.F.K Airport, and I run through the busy terminal. I have her information from her father. I scan the crowd, and there is no sign of Elizabeth.

  “Excuse me, miss?”

  “Yes, sir, Can I help you.”

  “I hope so. Flight 3456 to Los Angeles, has it departed yet?”

  “Yes, sir. Five minutes ago. Were you scheduled to be on that flight? I can put you on a stand-by list for later this evening.”

  “No, that won’t be necessary.”

  She’s gone? I missed her by only a few minutes. I can’t believe she got on the plane without talking to me first. Why Elizabeth? After all I’ve been through these last few months, how could you just leave me? I feel sick and utterly broken again. Just when I thought I was beginning to put my life back together, Elizabeth blows it wide open. I see Stephen approaching me. He figures by my demeanor that we’re too late.

  “Sir, I can call your pilot and prepare the jet for you.”

  I can’t even think right now. Do I chase her all the way to California? Wait to hear from her? My head is spinning, and I don’t know where to start. I run my fingers through my hair, and rub my face in frustration. My mind is returning to how elated her father was when I declared that I would go after his daughter and fight for her. This is what our parents have wanted all along, for me to marry Elizabeth and build a future with her in California. Now she’s left me, and I have no course of action to take.

  I gesture to Stephen to go, and as we walk, I see her! She didn’t get on the plane, but where is she coming out from? I slowly walk toward her, not wanting to alarm her with my presence. She doesn’t look well; her face is pale.

  “Elizabeth?” she slowly turns around and her tears begin to fall down her ashen face. My heart hurts. This is my fault. In two strides toward her, I have her in my arms. She falls against my chest and begins to cry uncontrollably. Stephen is looking at me with concern. I gesture to him to grab her bags from her. As I walk her over to a chair, I kneel before her, taking her hands in mine.

  “I’m so sorry, Elizabeth. I’m ashamed on how I’ve behaved. Please don’t leave me, let me try to be the man you need, and the father to our child. I won’t know what I will do if I lose you both.”

  “I’m sorry. I should be the one that feels ashamed. It’s been days since I told you about the baby, and I was feeling lost, confused and so hurt by your distance. If I didn’t get sick before departure, I would have gotten on that plane.” She weeps some more.

  “I would have followed you.” She looks up at me as if she can’t believe what I just said. “Elizabeth, please come home with me now. I want you to stay with me.”

  “For how long, Walker? You can’t keep playing with my heart and my feelings, it’s not fair and I have to protect our child now. It’s not just you and me anymore.” She was making perfect sense, and she was right.

  “Walker, what did she have that I didn’t? Why is it so hard for you to let go of her? I’ve loved you for years, and you never gave me a second glance, and when you finally did, it was only to heal what someone else broke in you. It’s not fair, and I can’t be what you need or want me to be for you Walker. I’ll be your friend, but nothing more. I’ll take care of our child, and you can go and be the master of the universe and run Reed Global.”

  Can she shatter me anymore? “No Elizabeth, you’re wrong. You will not just send me away, and not expect me to fight for you, our baby, and us.”

  “Don’t you see, Walker? We are not an ‘us.’ We never were. Please let me go. I hope you find what you are looking for someday, because it’s not me, and it’s about time I finally realize it.” She gets up and leaves me where I have knelt before her.

  I call out to her. “Elizabeth!” She stops, and turns to look at me. I’m still on my knees before her, as I pull out a box from my pocket. She gasps at the sight of the diamond before her.

  “Elizabeth, please give me a chance to love you like you deserve. Please let me be a father to our child. If you say ‘yes’ to me today, I promise I will never hurt you again.” I rise from the floor, and lift her chin so she can look at my eyes. “I promise to be committed to you and our child for the rest of my days. I promise to be a good husband, father, and all you need me to be. Please give me this second chance to prove to you that I can honor these promises, and love you. Please, Elizabeth, I need you, don’t leave me.” I wrap my arms around her and kiss her forehead and wet cheeks, and my lips find hers. She is slowly resisting and breaking down. She loves me, this I know, but she is afraid to trust me again. On the life of our child, I promise I will never hurt them.

  Now looking up at me, “You truly promise, Walker? You want a marriage and family with me, and only me?”

  God, she’s beautiful and so precious. She has every right to doubt me. I kiss her once more and I tell her the one thing she desperately needs to hear from me.

  “Elizabeth, I love you. I love our child. I want you to stay with me…forever.”

  “Yes, Walker, I will marry you!” I sweep her up into my arms and twirl her around the terminal. I place the ring on her finger, and kiss it as it is secured in place. I take her hand in mine and whisper in her ear, “Let’s go home.”

  Following the weeks after we publicly announced our engagement, paparazzi were following Elizabeth throughout the city. I had hired extra security for her, and then decided to move her to my parents’ estate in the Hamptons. We would be getting married in a few days, and I just needed to tie up some loose ends in the city before we move to California.

 
I found myself sitting alone in my huge penthouse apartment. I was surrounded by memories of my time spent here with Reese. I promised myself and Elizabeth that I would lay to rest the old ghosts of my past and not re-visit them again. I remember what she asked me the day at the airport. What does Reese have that she didn’t?

  I never answered Elizabeth. I don’t even think I could if I wanted to. Reese was like no other person that I ever met in my life. She lit something up in me that no other woman has ever done. She was a breath of fresh air that blew into my life, and after seeing her that day in the library, I knew I had to have her. I’ll never understand why she left me. Visions of Reese still haunt me. I loved her then, and I love her now, but I owe it to Elizabeth and our child to be what they need me to be. To promise “forever” to Elizabeth easily was spoken from my lips to her ears. They were nearly the same words I used to pledge my love for Reese. Now everything has changed. Reese is gone. Elizabeth is here and carrying my child.

  I meant what I said to Reese when I gave her the locket. She owns my heart…forever. I know I have to make room for Elizabeth in my heart. She deserves better, but I’m a selfish man and I will not let that last part of Reese go. My child is growing inside of Elizabeth, and as her belly grows, so does my love for my baby and its mother. Before leaving, I walk over to my mantle, and take down the one picture that has been with me since Reese left.

  It was taken while we were in Georgia. She’s smiling at me as my hand caresses her face. I run my fingers over the picture frame, closing my eyes to feel what I felt on this day spent with her. I place a kiss to her face, and wipe away my one tear that falls down my cheek. I place our picture in my wall safe that now joins her ring.

  The ring that I was to give her, to have our lives join as one. I repeatedly tried to return this ring to her grandmother, but she always refused, even after she heard about me marrying Elizabeth. Lila believed that one day our paths would cross again and our love would still be alive within us both. I don’t know how true that is, but I wasn’t going to argue with one of the wisest women I have ever had the honor of knowing.

  I locked the safe, and took one last look around the room. Taking in some slow breaths, my heart was beginning to ache with what I was about to do. If I was ever going to have another chance at happiness, I knew what I had to say that my heart has been battling me not to. My thoughts betray me, and my words begin to feel like hot burning oil scorching my throat.

  “Goodbye, Reese Mitchell.”

  I MARRIED ELIZABETH Townsend in front of our family and the few close friends we had between us. We both agreed on a simple ceremony, despite what our mothers were planning. When we threatened to elope, that quieted them. Elizabeth did get her dream wedding, but it was on her terms. She looked exquisite as her father escorted her down the beach path that led to me waiting for her. She promised no tears today. Today it was our new beginning for the life that we were to have together as husband and wife. I meant every promise I made to her. The look in her eyes tells me that she believes me, trusting me with her fragile heart.

  Her father, Henry, lifted her veil, kissed her cheek, and placed her hand in mine. “Be happy today, tomorrow, and for the rest of your lives.” I nodded at her father, and he turned to join his wife. Elizabeth winked at me. We listened to the reverend recite the vows for us to say to one another. Elizabeth never faltered, and not one tear fell. Her radiant smile spoke volumes on how happy she was.

  Before he pronounced us husband and wife, I did something that even shocked me. I dropped to one knee and placed a kiss on my wife’s belly, and whispered to my child, “I love you. I am not only becoming a husband today to your mom, but ‘we’ become a family. I can’t wait to hold you in my arms and kiss your mommy for giving me ‘you’ and making me the happiest man in the world.”

  Well, that did it. My bride let her tears fall, but I knew they were happy ones. I wiped them away and waited to officially kiss my wife. He looked at the two of us and pronounced us not only husband and wife, but today we became a family.

  “You may kiss your bride.”

  “You better believe it.” I smile proudly. I took Elizabeth as close as I could and poured every bit of love and emotion into my kiss. Whispering over and over again how happy she has made me here today. We turned to greet the crowd, and we were cheered on as we made our way down the path.

  Hand in hand, we were greeted by our family and friends wishing us well. I kept looking over to my wife, looking for any telltale sign of uncertainty, but all I saw was love. She was truly happy, and what I had planned next would truly complete our day. For days I did research on finding the perfect song to be played for our first dance as husband and wife.

  My mother had something already chosen, but I told her no. I would choose the song for Elizabeth, a song that would forever show her that my commitment to her and our child were true. When I listened to these lyrics, I knew I had found our song.

  After listening to toasts delivered by our fathers, it was now time for mine to my bride. I took to the microphone and looked right into her eyes.

  “Thank you for being here and helping us celebrate our special day. I know my wife is waiting with bated breath on the song that I have chosen for us to dance to for the first time as a married couple. The road that led Elizabeth and I here was not always an easy one traveled. My wife saved me in more ways that I can ever thank her for. I was drowning, as she held out her hand to pull me to safety, and into the comforts of her love. She patiently waited for me to be the man she always knew I could be, and when I was ready to do so, she gave me the greatest gift a man could ever receive. She gave me our child, and then just to show off, she accepted my marriage proposal.”

  My eyes never left hers, as she smiled and laughed. She placed her hands on her stomach and blew me a kiss.

  “Elizabeth, I hope you like the song that I have chosen for us. I hope it tells you what you truly mean to me, and how happy you have made me. I love you.”

  I stepped down, took her in my arms, as the band began to play…“This I promise you.” I held her in my arms. Her body moved easily with mine, as I sang the very song that says it all for me.

  “My love, here I stand before you. I am yours now. From this moment on, take my hand. My love, here I stand before you. I am yours now. From this moment on, take my hand. Only you can stop me shaking. We’ll share forever. This I promise you.

  When I look in your eyes, all of my life is before me. I’m not running anymore, because I already know I’m home. With every beat of my heart, I give you my love completely. My darling. This I promise you.

  My love, I can feel your heartbeat, as we dance now. Closer than before, don’t let go, don’t let go. I can almost cry now. This is forever. I make this vow to you. When I look in your eyes, all of my life feels before me, and I’m not running anymore. I already know I’m home.”

  With every beat of my heart, I give you my love completely. My darling, this I promise you. My darling, this I promise you. This I promise you, oh I promise you, promise you. This I promise you…”

  Our song had ended, and Elizabeth placed her hand on my heart, as I kissed her tears away.

  “I love you, Walker, so much. Thank you for making all my dreams come true.”

  I held her in my arms and closed my eyes to just feel her love wash over me, and for a brief second, I remembered Reese. Damn my betraying thoughts! I owed it to Elizabeth to put her and our child first, but once again pangs of guilt were riddling through me. I imagined this day to be very different, and my bride to be Reese. I believed that if you stepped out into the street without looking, you may get hit by an oncoming car.

  To believe in destiny and the universe, well that was a hard pill to swallow. I always relied on facts before me, not what might have been. To say that everything happens for a reason, well I’m not sure I believe that either. All I know is what I have here today: my wife, my child, my future. This is what I know to be true.

  IT WAS TOU
CH and go for a while there. His cord was tangled around his neck and the doctors were unsure if he was deprived of oxygen. My wife was on the operating table. She was declared brain dead after suffering a massive stroke. Elizabeth was never going to recover, never knowing our child. Life was incredibly unfair and cruel. I held her hand as I listened to her breaths being controlled by a machine. While the doctors worked on our son, I leaned into my wife’s ear.

  “I am so sorry this happened to you, and to us. I never thought I would be doing this without you. How can I do this without you? I will never be able to thank you for this incredible gift you have given me, our son. I promise you that I will be the best father I can be, and always tell our son about you. You were my lifeline when I was drowning. Thank you for loving me, Elizabeth.”

  I said my goodbyes to my wife and friend. She deserved so much better than half of a man who loved someone else. I kissed her forehead and was startled by the sound of a newborn crying. Our son made it and was screaming at the top of his lungs. I never heard a more beautiful sound in all of my life. The nurse brought him over to me. My hands were shaking. I was afraid to touch him. The nurse led me out of the room where the doctors could now finish up with Elizabeth.

  I sat down in a rocking chair and was given my son to hold. Jackson looked just like me when I was a baby. His hair was dark, and he had my nose. He had stopped crying, and he wrapped his finger around mine. No turning back now, I was hooked. My son had captured my heart with one simple touch. His eyes were so bright, they matched his mothers. I would have to tell him one day about her. How do you explain why she’s not here to raise him? It was my job to be mother and father to him, but how? Jackson was examined by a team of doctors. I spared no expense when it came to my son and wife.