A Risk Worth Taking

by Laura Landon

  He dragged his hand over the day-old stubble on his jaw. He knew what Anne expected from a marriage, what every new bride expected. He couldn’t give it to her. He couldn’t be a loving husband to her until he was sure she was out of danger. He couldn’t give her a child until he knew he could keep it safe.

  He clenched his hands until his fingers ached. She would be his to protect, watch over, and keep safe. His to make sure she came to no harm from whoever wanted him dead. But he couldn’t keep her safe. Just like he hadn’t been able to keep Julia and Andrew safe.

  Gnarled fingers of dread clamped around his heart and squeezed until he wanted to cry out in pain. He couldn’t live with the death of one more person he loved.

  He walked back to the open window and let the cool air wash over him. He stared into the darkness and prayed he’d see an answer to the problems he faced, an easing of the fears that plagued him. What he saw, however, was something more frightening.

  His gaze focused on a movement in the shadows across the street. Someone was there. Someone was watching his house, waiting for him.

  He would end this here. Now!

  He grabbed the clothes that lay across the chair and dressed as quickly as he could. He pulled on his boots and grabbed the pistol he kept in the drawer in the table by his bed, then raced out the door.

  Griff walked down the street at a slow, steady pace. He kept his body in plain sight so he would be an easy target.

  With each footstep his litany was that the man following him was the killer, and that he would finish this game he was playing before Anne was hurt—or worse.

  Griff wasn’t sure how long he’d walked, but he knew it had been an hour or more. The sun was beginning its ascent. The golden orb blended muted shades of pinks and purples and blues and oranges together in unequaled perfection. The hour was perfect for an assassination. It was light enough now for the killer to see him clearly. Light enough for Griff to recognize the killer and finally know who wanted him dead.

  Suddenly the hair on the back of Griff’s neck stood out in warning. He was close. Griff could feel him. Something moved to his left.

  Griff ran after him. He caught a glimpse once, then nothing. He raced faster but had to stop when he lost him.

  Griff stood still, listening. He concentrated on the quiet sounds around him. He heard nothing but the soft clopping of his own boots against the cobblestoned streets. But the killer was still there. Watching. Griff could feel him.

  Do it. Dear God, let it be over.

  He continued his way down the street. His heart thundered in his chest. His mind raced like a wild man’s. He knew to any passing stranger he’d appear a demented creature, but he didn’t care. He only wanted it over.

  Do it!

  He neared Adam’s town house. How he’d gotten there he didn’t know, but the tree- and shrub-lined walk came closer. Only a few more feet and he would no longer be in the open. Only a few more feet and the killer would not have a clear shot. Griff slowed, then stopped.

  Do it!

  Nothing happened. No gunshot exploded in the air. No bullet slammed into his body.

  Griff uttered a vile curse, then braced his hands against the shiny, black iron gate that surrounded Adam’s town house. After several minutes, he lifted his gaze.

  A curtain at the front window moved. He’d been spotted, but he didn’t want to go in. He would wake the household, and this was hardly the hour to cause a scene. Everyone was most likely resting for what promised to be a very long, exhausting day.

  Today was the day he and Anne would marry.

  Griff turned, then followed the path that would take him back to his town house. His feet moved as if his boots were lined with lead. Yet he was desperate to distance himself from her. He needed time to convince himself that he could do this.

  He needed a drink.

  He made his way down the street, past a row of fancy town houses, then through the working section of London. Past a milliner and a boot maker, then a bakery, and finally an ale house. He stopped. Just one drink. He only needed one.

  He tried the door. It was locked.

  He pounded until the proprietor appeared.

  All he wanted was a bottle. Just one.

  Chapter 20

  There was a great commotion at the front of the house, and Griff looked up. The sound of Adam’s thunderous voice echoed in the foyer. His heavy boots thudded across the marble floor as he marched toward the study. Adam threw open the door, then stopped short when he saw him.

  Griff looked down at the full glass of brandy cradled in his hands.

  “Not today, Griff,” Adam whispered. “It’s her wedding day. Give her at least today.”

  Griff took in his brother’s disheveled appearance. “You look like hell,” he said. “Hardly the customary look for a member of the ton.” Adam’s clothes were askew, his hair uncombed, and his boots did not match. He looked so out of character, so unlike the earl, that Griff wanted to laugh.

  “I dressed in a hurry.”

  Griff smiled. “I saw Fenwick at the window and knew he would go for you.”

  “He waited for you to knock.” Adam walked across the room and sat in the chair opposite Griff. “He said you left without coming up the walk. He thought perhaps whatever got you out at such an hour might have been important.”

  “It was nothing.” Griff turned the glass in his fingers. He concentrated on the amber liquid. Bloody hell, but he wanted to drink it. He wanted it so badly his hands shook. But he hadn’t tasted it. It had taken every ounce of courage he had, but so far he hadn’t lifted it to his mouth and drunk any of it.

  Adam watched him. “If there is anything I can do…”

  “No. Everything’s fine.”

  “I’m a good listener.”

  Griff lifted his gaze. “Are you?”

  “Yes.”

  “Do you know how badly I want this?”

  “I can only guess.”

  Griff released his grip on the brandy and sat back in his chair. “Last night I had a dream. Well, actually, it was more of a nightmare. A very vivid nightmare. One I’ve had often.

  “In my sleep, I relived the day Julia and Andrew drowned. I heard her screaming for me to save her. I couldn’t get to her, but that is not unusual. In my nightmares I can never reach her.” Griff slid his chair back from the desk and rose. “Except last night her voice changed, and it wasn’t Julia crying out for me. It was Anne, and I couldn’t save her. Anne was drowning and I couldn’t reach her.”

  “It was a nightmare, Griff. You and Anne aren’t aboard a ship, or anywhere near an ocean. You’re only nervous because you’re getting married.”

  “It’s not water that might kill her.”

  “You don’t know that.”

  “I didn’t intend for this to happen. That’s why I brought her to London. So she could find a husband of her own choosing.”

  “That no longer matters. The two of you were drawn to each other from the start. Anyone could see that.”

  Griff shook his head. “She told me once that she would never marry me because the risk was too great. I’m sure she hasn’t changed her mind.”

  “Staying away for the last three days hasn’t helped, Griff. You could have at least spent a little time with her. It might have made things easier.”

  “Perhaps. How is she?”

  “Nervous, I think. Angry. Patience says she reveals about as much as you. It’s hard to tell.”

  Griff pounded his fist against the corner of the desk. “How could I have let this happen? How could I have taken advantage of her like I did?”

  Adam smiled. “If what Portsmouth and I saw when we walked in on you is an example of your attraction to each other, neither of you can accept full responsibility for what happened. The lady appeared to be an equal partner in what was going on.”

  “She will make some man a hell of a wife,” Griff said, looking absently out the window.

  “That man is you, Griff. And you
will make her a hell of a husband.”

  Griff sat back down behind the desk and ran his finger around the rim of the glass. He stared at the liquid as if it were gold. “Do you think she’ll go through with the wedding?” he asked, turning the full glass in his hand.

  “Why don’t you ask her yourself?” Anne’s soft voice said from the doorway.

  Griff’s head snapped up and his gaze focused on her. “What are you doing here?”

  “I heard Fenwick wake Lord Covington and tell him he thought he should come over here right away. I thought something might be wrong, so I dressed and followed him.”

  “Nothing is wrong. You should go home.”

  She stared at him. Her gaze eventually dropped from his face to the full glass of liquor in front of him. “Are you going to drink that?”

  “I…don’t know,” he answered honestly.

  She swayed on her feet. “Well, decide before you come to say your vows. I need to know which one of us you choose.”

  Before Griff could answer, she turned and walked out of the house.

  Griff went to the window and watched to make sure she made it safely to her waiting carriage, then turned back to his desk. He stared at the full glass of brandy for several long seconds, then picked it up and threw it into the cold hearth.

  “You had the right of it,” Adam said with a smile on his face. “She will make some man a hell of a wife.”

  Griff poured the rest of the bottle onto the ashes. “Only if I stay alive long enough to enjoy our marriage.”

  Griff made his way down the London alley. It was almost time for his wedding, but first he wanted to talk to Fitzhugh. He needed to know if he’d learned anything new.

  Griff couldn’t believe that Anne was the target, but he didn’t want to take the chance that she would be an innocent bystander and get hurt in an attempt on his life.

  As soon as the ceremony was over, Griff intended to take her to Covington Manor. She would be safer in the country. There would be no parties, teas, or balls to attend where anyone could step out of the crowd with a knife or a gun, or come up behind her to push her into a busy street as a carriage rolled past. In the country, she would not be able to leave his sight without him knowing where she was.

  He reached the hidden entrance, then knocked and opened the door. This time, Fitzhugh’s secretary greeted him. He immediately rose from his desk to tell Fitzhugh he was there.

  “I was a little surprised to get your message, Griff,” Fitzhugh said, looking up when Griff entered. “I hardly expected you to have time to see me today. Word is you’re getting married this morning.”

  “Never let me be the one to cast doubt on what you hear on the street.”

  “Is something wrong?” Fitzhugh asked with a frown.

  “Who is following me today?”

  “Johnston. Why?”

  “I have a second tail.”

  “Are you sure?”

  Griff arched one eyebrow.

  Fitzhugh held out his hand, palm outward. “All right. That was a stupid question. Did you see him?”

  “No. I saw one tail on my left. I’m assuming that is Johnston. Someone else is on my right. He stayed back farther, almost as if he knew this was my destination.”

  Fitzhugh rose from his chair and paced the few feet behind the desk.

  “This isn’t the first time I’ve had more than one person following me,” Griff added.

  Fitzhugh stopped pacing and braced his hands on the top of the desk. “Hawkins came to see me last week. He found out we’d investigated him and wanted to know why.”

  “What did you tell him?”

  “Not much. Not enough to satisfy him, but maybe just enough to make him suspicious.”

  “Does he know we found out about his brother?”

  “I don’t know. He didn’t mention it.” Fitzhugh picked up a folder from his desk. “I read his report from the day Lady Anne was hit by the runaway carriage.”

  “It wasn’t a runaway,” Griff said, his temper firing.

  “Very well. Hawkins believes the carriage that tried to run her over was not after you. He’s convinced she was the one the driver wanted to hit.”

  Griff stood. “That isn’t possible. There’s no way anyone could want to harm her. Unless it’s to punish me.”

  “All right. Let’s assume that’s true. Do you realize what that means?”

  Griff swiped his hand over his face in frustration. “Of course I do. That means she’s not safe anywhere near me.”

  “So what are you going to do?”

  “I’m leaving for Covington Manor this afternoon. I can protect her more effectively there. I can watch out for myself better, too.”

  “Is there anything I can do from here?”

  “Just keep an eye on Hawkins for me.” Griff slammed his hand against the wall. “Damn! I can’t believe he’s behind this. We’ve been through too much. He saved my life over there!”

  “But you are responsible for his brother’s death. You arrested him. You were responsible for his execution.”

  Griff nodded, not wanting to think what it might mean if Hawkins was the one trying to kill him. He was good, one of the best agents they had during the war. It was a miracle Griff wasn’t already dead. If Hawkins was after him, he should be. Unless…

  Maybe Hawkins knew he could cause a deeper hurt if he killed Anne.

  A cold chill raced down Griff’s spine. The thought that Hawkins wanted to kill Anne scared the hell out of him. He wouldn’t let anything happen to her.

  “Let me know if you find out anything,” Griff said when he reached the door. He didn’t wait for an answer, but twisted the knob to let himself out.

  “Griff.”

  Griff turned.

  “Congratulations. I wish you all the best. You deserve it.”

  Griff thanked Fitzhugh, then left.

  Let whoever it was kill him. He didn’t care. But he wouldn’t let anything happen to Anne. He couldn’t. He cared for her too much.

  Anne stood before the long mirror and looked at the reflection that stared back at her. She couldn’t believe she was getting married today. That she was marrying Griffin Blackmoor.

  I need to know which one of us you choose.

  In her mind’s eye, she saw his long, narrow fingers wrapped around the glass of brandy. She wouldn’t marry him if he’d picked it up after she’d left. She wouldn’t have a marriage like her mother’s, loving a man who was never there for her, who could never love her as much as she loved him. It would be better to live the remainder of her life alone.

  The weight inside her chest hurt even more. Why had she fallen in love with him? Why hadn’t she been strong enough to stop him before he’d kissed her? Strong enough to walk away from him before he’d held her? Now it was too late. It didn’t matter how big a dowry he heaped on her; her reputation was ruined. No one would have her now.

  Anne brushed her damp palms over the pale-blue gown she’d chosen in which to be married. She turned when the door opened and Patience entered.

  “Oh, Anne,” Patience said, clasping her folded hands to her breast. “You are absolutely beautiful.”

  Anne felt her cheeks warm. “All brides are beautiful on their wedding day.”

  “Just wait until you see the look on Griff’s face when he sees you. Then you will know.”

  “Somehow I doubt he’ll see anything except that he had no choice but to marry me.” Anne walked over to the window and lifted the heavy curtains. “Is he here yet?”

  I need to know which one of us you choose.

  “Not yet, but it’s still early. Surely you’re not worried?”

  “No.” Anne dropped the curtain and sat on the stool. Patience came up behind her and rearranged the delicate flowers in her hair. “He’ll be here,” Anne said more to herself than to Patience. “Can you imagine Mr. Blackmoor not fulfilling his responsibility?”

  Patience smiled. “No. He is very much like Adam in that respect.” />
  Anne lifted her gaze. She looked at Patience’s reflection in the mirror. “Are you happy, Patience? Does the earl make you happy, or are you merely content?”

  Bright circles of pink covered Patience’s cheeks. “Both, Anne. I am deliriously happy and I am ever so content. I am in love with my husband. And I am loved in return.”

  Anne dropped her gaze to her hands. She was suddenly embarrassed.

  “Does that surprise you? Did you think that because our marriage was arranged, it would be impossible for us to be happy?” Patience laughed out loud. “Or did you assume because Adam is so staid and formal in public, ever so much the earl at all times, that he remains so behind our bedroom door?”

  Anne looked up. Patience’s face brimmed with happiness, with the youthful blush of a woman who knew secrets the rest of the world could only guess at.

  “Let me assure you he does not. Adam is the most affectionate of husbands.” Patience turned Anne around so she did not have to face her in the mirror but looked into her eyes. “Are you worried Griff does not love you?”

  I need to know which one of us you choose.

  Anne clasped her hands tight in her lap. “I’m just being silly. I’m nervous, I think.”

  “Well, don’t be. Griff already loves you. It’s obvious to everyone who sees the two of you together.” Patience paused, then said, “Can you love him in return?”

  Anne’s heart skipped a beat. She already did. Even though he was the last person on earth she wanted to love, she was cursed the minute she met him. He was the one who took possession of her heart when she held his hand and wiped his brow.

  “I think it’s too late to keep from loving him.”

  “Oh, Anne,” Patience said, taking Anne in her arms. “Then I know you will be happy with Griff.”

  Anne smiled, unable to say more.

  “Now, you stay here and I’ll go down to make sure everything’s ready.” Patience rushed out of the room. She returned a few minutes later with a huge smile on her face. “Are you ready, Anne? The minister is here and they are ready to start.”