Like Falling

by Jaden Wilkes

  Sarah nodded, grabbed her purse, and they left. If anyone else had mentioned Sarah’s outdated clothes, she would have retreated into her room and been too hurt to come out. She knew Naomi had the best of intentions, so it didn’t bother her. She had known Naomi longer than almost anyone. The first time they met was in church daycare when they were around three. Even then Naomi had been wilder than the rest of them, and it had just gotten worse as they grew. Once they hit grade seven, Naomi starting driving everyone crazy with her constant questions and demands to know the answers from church elders. Sarah would shrink away from Naomi’s angry queries, explanations for everything from evolution to gay marriage, but she would quietly cheer her friend on when she was arguing with an adult. It was partly Naomi’s idea that Sarah come to SFU to study, she knew how much Sarah loved archaeology and knew if she stayed back home, her parents would marry her off, expect her to start having babies and work the farm. Sarah thought of herself as lucky for being able to escape, and have the support of a friend like Naomi.

  They wandered through the mall looking for sales on clothes that were Naomi approved. It was tough, they only had their student loans and small family allowances to live on so they had to be frugal. Naomi seemed to have a built in radar to like the most expensive items, but they had fun looking. A couple of hours later, Sarah had the basics for a decent look, several makeup products she didn’t know what to do with yet, a new pair of low heeled shoes, and the most amazing pair of knee high boots with brown butter soft leather and a 2 inch heel. The highest she had ever attempted. She couldn’t wait to get home, trim her hair, learn some basic makeup application, try on her clothes and learn how to walk in her new boots. They stopped at the Sobeys for a few groceries, Naomi threw in a bottle of Tylenol and said “You’ll need these for your feet, until you get used to the heels.”

  They paid for their items and headed home. “So you never did tell me much about your day, I’ve been talking your ear off,” Naomi said as they were crossing the street. "You're always so quiet Sarah, don't let me steam roller you."

  “It's ok, you know I love your stories,” she said. It was true, Naomi talked enough for both of them, it allowed Sarah time to carefully observe people or get lost in her own thoughts. “My day was pretty good, I like two out of three classes so I count myself lucky. English is a bore, but I’ll live. There is a hot guy in my first class, but I was a total dork and embarrassed myself.”

  “Awe, come on, I’m sure he didn’t even notice. You are so adorable, you have a rockin body and have this whole ‘don’t realize how hot you are’ thing going on. Guys eat that shit up,” Naomi reassured her. “Besides, after tonight, you’ll know how to show it off and he won’t even care about today.”

  “Well he would have noticed this, I waved at him thinking he was waving at me. Yeah, turns out he wasn’t and I looked like an idiot. The gorgeous blonde he was waving at thought so, she was laughing at me the entire class.”

  “Who cares what a stuck up bitch thinks, right? Any other guys on your radar? Now that you’re free from your crazy family, I am dying to get you hooked up!”

  “Not really...well...Adam is pretty attractive, but I wouldn’t call him hot. He’s sophisticated, dashing, handsome...dreamy,” Sarah smiled.

  Naomi came to a complete stop right in front of their building. She looked at Sarah and demanded “Tell me everything! You met a dreamy guy and withheld the info? That’s a crime, I’m sure of it.”

  “Ok! Ok! He’s not really a guy though, he’s my archaeology professor, and he’s gorgeous.”

  “Oh. Your prof. That doesn’t count then. Let’s get inside and get you dolled up.”

  Sarah trailed behind her, savouring the moment. She waited until Naomi had pushed the elevator button for their floor and said “He invited me back to his office for tea though.”

  Naomi spun around and yelled “Get out! You fucked your prof on the first day?” Naomi loved being melodramatic and it always made Sarah laugh.

  The elevator door slid open and an elderly lady with a poodle on a leash stepped out, glaring at them as she passed. They got on the elevator and Sarah said “Naomi! Keep your voice down. Oh my god, now that woman thinks I’m a total slut! And no, I did not...ahem..sleep with him, we just talked. I messed that up too though.”

  “Sleep with? What are you? Ten years old?” Naomi teased. “Come on, you can say it, fuck. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. Just say it Sarah, your mommy and daddy are hundreds of miles away.”

  “Uh, I can say it, I just don’t want to, ok?”

  “Come on...just once, just for me. I don’t think I’ve ever heard you swear. You’re the kind of girl who wouldn’t say shit if your mouth was full of it!”

  “Gross Naomi! That’s a disturbing image. And I do swear, just not around people that much,” Sarah fibbed. She never really swore but she thought this was as good a time as any to start. She took a deep breath and exclaimed “FUCK! There you go. FUCK! FUCK!” It was rather liberating to let it out.

  The elevator stopped and the door opened on their floor. An older well-dressed Asian man shot them a weird look as he got on and they got off.

  Naomi was laughing so hard by now that she had tears rolling down her face. “Oh my god, the whole building is going to think we’re slutty girls with mouths like sailors!”

  Sarah had to laugh with her, it was funny, their bad timing. Her whole day had been about bad timing and errors, but sharing them with Naomi made them all seem harmless.

  They were unpacking the groceries and talking about making dinner when Naomi said “Don’t think you’re off the hook by the way, I need to know everything about sexy Adam the professor. You lucked out, there are no hotties in my classes. Maybe I’ll find some when I get into pre-law, all those sexy lawyers and all.” It occurred to Sarah that had never seen Naomi dating, she knew that Naomi must have fooled around when they were in high school, but didn’t even know her type.

  “He is pretty sexy. He’s older, obviously, like in his thirties at least. He’s tall, maybe six two, with dark hair and blue eyes. He’s got some grey hair too, salt and pepper I think it’s called?” Naomi nodded and Sarah continued, “well, after making a fool of myself, I waited until everybody left. Adam asked me to help him move some things to his office and then offered me tea. We were talking, he was telling me about being attacked by bandits in Africa, then he upset me.”

  “Oh no, what did he say?”

  “He didn’t say anything really. He just asked about my accent, but I overreacted. I got embarrassed and left his office, I feel so stupid Naomi. How can I face him again next class?”

  “With your total makeover, he won’t even recognize you! You’ll get your second chance, with the Mr. Hot and professor Adam. Now let’s work on your model walk.”

  No matter how low Sarah felt, Naomi could always pull her out of it and make everything right again. When they were little, they had been teased at elementary school for dressing funny and using weird words. Mennonite families often spoke a form of German at home, so that was their first language. By high school things were worse, Sarah had become the target of one group of girls who took great pleasure in making her life a hell. If it hadn’t been for Naomi, she didn’t know how she would have survived those last few years. Sarah’s response to being tripped or called fucking bitch on a daily basis was to retreat into her own hidden world of fantasy. Naomi’s response was to call them worse names and push them harder. She ended up gaining an uneasy acceptance with the popular crowd, and was even invited to their parties from time to time. Sarah always declined tagging along with Naomi, even if they weren’t attacking her, those kinds of girls terrified Sarah. The gorgeous blonde in the classroom today had reminded her of those kinds of girls, it hurt doubly that the Mr. Hot might end up being one of those kinds of guys. She comforted herself with thoughts of Adam instead, to soothe the hurt.

  “Come on, you’ve got to wiggle your hips and hold your shoulders up,” Naomi said as Sarah
paraded her new boots up and down the living room in their little apartment.

  “I’m trying. You sound like our gym teacher, Mrs. Lawson,” Sarah laughed, stumbling as she made the turn around the coffee table.

  “This is serious business, you’ve got a day to make sure you don’t mess up again,” Naomi said then quickly added “not that I’m saying you messed up Sarah, I just want you to feel as good as you look. It’s like you honestly have no idea how pretty you are. I know how hard your mom was on you and I want you to find some happiness, you deserve it.” Naomi was staring at her with a strange look in her eyes, almost like a proud mother. Sarah shook her head, straightened her back and started walking again. She kept going until she could walk in her new boots with confidence.

  CHAPTER THREE

  Wednesday felt like a brand new start. She only had two classes today, and the first one wasn’t until 11. She was fulfilling her university's breadth requirement with a creative writing course, followed by an introductory biology lab. Naomi had woken her up at 8 this morning to help her with makeup and hair, but Sarah was left to choose her new outfit. They had stuck with a style that made Sarah comfortable, her hair was still loose and natural, and silky thanks to the copious product they had rubbed into it. Her makeup was simple, and only enhanced her features, it didn’t overwhelm them. She looked in the mirror for the hundredth time and tried to see what Naomi saw, to see if she really was beautiful. It was hard to be objective after surviving the years of criticism from her mom. Her mom was right about some things though, her eyes were too big, her lips were too pouty and her face too round. She did have a nice smile though, and smooth clear skin. Her eyes were a soft greyish green, with one small brown spot in the left eye, just above the pupil. Her hair was sunkissed blonde, not as light as the gorgeous blonde she had seen yesterday, but still pretty and golden. When she was at home it was either in a braid or a bun wrapped tightly at the back of her neck, but she had been practicing some styling, and liked the effect it had. She didn’t have bangs, but Naomi had cut some layers in around her face, giving it a casual, sexy swing. She sighed and frowned, noting the wrinkles in her forehead. Maybe bangs would look better. She leaned in and smiled, her teeth seemed too white and straight, people always assumed she’d had some dental work done. She was blessed with good genes for one thing at least. She just wished she could look like somebody else, she felt plain and unnoticeable.

  She wiggled into her new jeans, Naomi had convinced her to stop wearing her long skirts and try pants...tight pants. I don’t remember them being this tight in the store. She zipped them up and twirled in front of the mirror, and did the way they cupped her ass and gave it a nice shape. She wasn’t super tall, 5’7”, and was curvy but not fat, with pretty good sized breasts. Her mother had constantly worried about her weight growing up because of her eating, but looking at herself now she could see her mom was wrong about one thing. I have a lovely figure, maybe not rockin, but I look good. The shirt she chose for the day was also pretty basic, it was a short sleeve with gauzy layers and more colour than she had ever put on before. She liked the overall effect though, she felt pretty. She pulled on a short jacket over top, then completed the look with her new prize, her gorgeous leather boots. Now she felt sexy, like a new woman. She bent her leg back and posed in the bathroom mirror from the hallway. She had to laugh at her vanity, she picked up her backpack and headed to campus.

  She had over an hour to kill before intro biology, so she went to the cafeteria nearest the archaeology department. She purchased a muffin and a cup of tea and sat down to read.

  Moments later she sensed movement to the left of her and looked up. Adam was standing there, tray in hand, looking confused.

  “SaSaSarah? Is that you?” he asked, sounding pleased.

  “Hi Adam, yeah, it’s me,” she smiled, pleased at his reaction.

  “Wow, look at you, you look amazing,” he said. He gestured towards her table and asked “Do you mind if I have a seat? It’s packed in here.”

  “Oh sure, totally. Here let me move my bag,” she reached over and cleared a spot for him to sit. He lowered his tray to the table and settled into the chair across from her. She said “I’m glad I ran into you today, Adam. I need to apologize about rushing out yesterday. I’m overly sensitive sometimes, and don’t know how to act. I’m such a dork.”

  “Don’t say that Sarah, I get it, it can be really overwhelming the first week or two. Anyways I’m the one who needs to apologize. I had no right to pry into your background, I never knew it would upset you that much. So, I’m sorry,” he looked so sincere Sarah fought the urge to grab his hand and make him smile.

  “Can we just start over? I’d like that.”

  “I’d like that too,” he flashed that brilliant smile and all was forgotten. “Allow me to introduce myself, I am Dr. Adam Summers, but you can call me Adam.”

  “Pleased to meet you Adam, my name is Sarah,” she giggled and shook his hand.

  "Isn’t this pleasant? I see you’re drinking tea, you never did finish yours yesterday. You should come back and I’ll make you another cup,” he suggested. “I loved your description by the way, I wasn’t making fun. It does smell like a freshly ploughed field after a summer rain, and it tastes like it too,” he noticed her grimace and added “In a good way, I swear!”

  “I’ve always been accused of being overly moody back home,” she confessed. “My parents said I was a little dreamy from the day I was born, I guess it’s in my DNA.”

  “I happen to be of the professional opinion that your DNA is absolutely perfect,” he smiled. “As you know, I specialize in human evolution. I know these things.”

  “That’s a sweet thing to say,” she felt her face growing warm.

  “Think about it Sarah, studying evolution is the ultimate in self-centeredness. You are, after all, looking for clues that everything leading up to your very existence. You are proving that every mistake, every biological adaptation, all of it lead to the creation of you, in all your perfection.”

  Sarah didn’t know what to say. She felt like she was being accused of being vain, but didn’t want to overreact again. She looked down at her muffin.

  “I’m not making fun of you, I promise. But you have to admit that you are a rather excellent example of homo sapiens sapiens,” he winked

  She had to laugh at that, the irony that this man would even suggest that she was anything close to perfection when her own family rolled their eyes and whispered about her imperfections all the time.

  “Thank you, it’s nice to hear it I guess, even I if I don’t quite believe you,” she said. “I do have a question for you though, did you do any excavating over the summer break?”

  “We were up the BC coast initially, at a site past Bella Coola. The university often runs a summer field school there. After that I did some traveling on my own, that’s where I picked up the tea.”

  “I would love to go on an excavation some time, isn’t that why all of us are drawn to archaeology though?” she replied.

  “It’s a good idea, you don’t know how many people get to grad school and realize they hate to dig!”

  “No! Nobody does that, do they?” she laughed as he nodded confirmation and took a bite of his sandwich. They passed the time quickly until Sarah had her first class. They parted ways, and she couldn’t help but sneak a peek back at him as he strolled down the wide concourse to his office. He was looking back at her, he grinned sheepishly and gave her a little wave. She felt her stomach jump, waved back, turned and quickened her step, a small smile on her face.

  *****

  Wednesday morning Sarah got to Adam’s class early, to test his theory that everyone would be located at the front. Sure enough, he was right, and there was already a small group forming. The only spot left was front and centre, yet again, and she felt weird taking it. Would he think she was sitting there to be close to him? But even worse, if she sat at the back now, would he think she was avoiding him? This was a sticky
situation, so she decided front and centre, with a serious look on her face. No giggling or romantic dreaming about her gorgeous prof while he was lecturing. She needed to learn how to separate the feelings she felt growing and the way she was in class. She could giggle and hair flip when they were in his office, away from the eyes of her fellow students.

  Speaking of fellow students, she didn’t see hot tattoo guy in the newly formed crowd, but she did spy the gorgeous blonde. She was intently scrolling through her phone, then started texting like mad as Sarah walked by. Sarah took the seat almost directly in front of her, and wondered how she managed to type so fast on her tiny phone. She dropped her bag, set her lap top up on the small armrest table, and got ready to take notes. She couldn’t help but survey the room, she felt as though she was being watched and need to see if Mr Hot was looking again. She slowly turned around and pretended to be looking for somebody, anybody. There he was, same seat, staring at her again. Or was he looking at the blonde? She wouldn’t make that mistake again. He waved and smiled, my god he has an amazing smile, but Sarah ignored him this time, pretending not to see him. She stayed focused on the door, but could see him smirking out of the corner of her eye. He sat alone this time, and was wearing a tight white T shirt that emphasized his muscular arms. She wondered if his tattoos meant anything, they covered his entire forearm and all the way up to his shoulder, black, intricate designs. She turned back and faced the front of the class satisfied that she had ignored him long enough.

  Adam came in right on time, looking flushed and hurried. He set down some more samples, this time three different skulls, and greeted the class.

  “Good morning, eager young learners. I see my prediction came true, look at all of the bright young things seated at the front today,” his eyes met Sarah’s and she had to look away, pretending to read something on her computer.