by Jaden Wilkes
Sarah looked at herself in the mirror, applied a little lip gloss and assessed the effect. She looked much more grown up than she had in September. Her eyes looked...older somehow. I’ve changed so much, I hope nobody notices it back home, she thought and smacked her lips to even out the gloss. Sex must be good for me, my skin looks amazing. She had a knowing look in her eyes now, like she could walk around campus and spot the virgins a mile away. She felt as though she had joined some unspoken club that nobody ever talked about. She suddenly recognized the small glances between couples, a new language of little touches and shared smiles. She thought people must look at her and Tyr and see a huge red arrow pointing at them declaring “Yeah, they’re fucking”. The thought made her blush and she laughed at herself. Stop being such a dork, you have a boyfriend, God isn’t going to smite you for being in love.
She smoothed her hair and thought for the thousandth time about cutting it. She just wasn’t quite there yet, it felt like one of the last connections she had to her old self, and there were parts of her old self that she still enjoyed. Sex hadn’t completely eradicated her love of sappy books and her belief in the magic of faith and hope. She still hoped that she’d settle down with somebody and have a happy marriage and children...but not before she lived a little. Sarah felt at times as though she was living with a foot in two different worlds. On one side was the incessant pressure to be a good girl, to act a certain way. On the other side was the exhilarating freedom of making her day dreams and musings come to life.
She slowly brushed the shadow over her eyelid, paused and stared at the one imperfect spot on her iris. Tyr had once called himself imperfect, something that had astounded her at the time, but now she reflected that everyone felt like that at one point or another. Growing up an outsider had given her the underlying feeling that there was something inherently wrong with her, if only she did x, y and z then she’d be ok...it was starting to occur to her that there was nothing to do to be ok, she was exactly how she was meant to be. The thought gave her a moment of clarity, she wished she could hang onto it somehow.
I’m 19 today, she thought. It was her birthday. Tyr was taking her out for dinner, then for a romantic drive to the beach....then back to his place. Her birthday fell on a Friday, perfect timing. She hadn’t expected to be so moody, it was just another year after all. It wasn’t though, it represented her emancipation from her family, if only she could straighten her spine and stand up to them, her transformation would be complete.
She heard the door slam and went into the living room. Naomi and Nic had a small crowd of people with them. Sarah felt like a stranger in her own apartment, she didn’t recognize any of them.
“Hey Naomi, can I talk to you for a sec?”
Naomi walked over and they both went into the bathroom. Naomi had a beer in her hand, tilted it towards Sarah and said “You want a drink?”
“No thanks. Listen, don’t let any of your friends sleep in my room tonight, ok? It really wigged me out the last time,” she said, trying not to sound too uptight.
“Hey, that’s cool. I’ll kick everyone out, I swear. So what are you guys up to tonight?”
“We’re going to dinner, then a drive. Tyr has something planned for my birthday.”
Naomi stopped in mid drink, gulped and said “Fuck me, I forgot your birthday?”
“Yeah, it’s no big deal, don’t even worry about it.”
“It IS a big deal, you can legally buy me booze now! I can finally dump Nic,” Naomi put her arm around Sarah’s shoulder and laughed.
“Ha. Ha. I’m sure Nic would love to hear that.”
“I kid, I kid! But seriously, can we do something tomorrow night? I know I get so wrapped up in the whole women’s centre thing, but I can’t believe I forgot your birthday. Fuuuck.”
“Let’s just go for sushi or something, low key, ok?”
“Sure thing, you know I can keep it low key,” Naomi replied. Sarah doubted that, but at least her friend might try.
They walked back into the living room, the music was thumping and the party was apparently in full swing. Naomi jumped onto the coffee table and yelled “Everybody! Can I have your attention please! I need to tell you all it’s my girl’s birthday today! Sarah is 19!”
The group turned and looked at Sarah who could only manage a blush and a mumbled hey. They started to clap and cheer, Sarah was ready for Tyr to come any minute and save her from these people.
Right on time the door buzzer rang and Sarah said “Thanks everyone, but I’ve got to go!” She told Tyr she’d be right down, grabbed her purse and tried not to run from the apartment.
The elevator doors opened in the lobby and Tyr was right there, sweeping her into a kiss and pushing her back into the elevator. He pulled away for a moment and said “Fuck, you look sexy,” his voice thick with lust. He had worked yesterday so it had been over a day since they’d seen each other, a lifetime when you’re in love. She returned his kiss, lifting her mouth up to his, wanting him to snake his tongue around hers and press himself against her body. She could see their reflection in the elevator mirror and was pleased to see how hot they looked. Tyr’s body was curled over hers, his huge arms around her, owning her, his presence claiming her. She could see her small figure in his shadow, tilting herself up to receive him, thrusting her hips against him, her arms traveling up and down his broad back, settling to cup his ass and pull him closer to her. The elevator was going up and as they neared the top floor, the 12th, Sarah pulled away and murmured “We should stop.”
Tyr grabbed a handful of her hair and said “Try and make me” in a deep growl. Sarah felt it from the tip of her nose to the base of her spine, a surge of lust and acceptance, as though he had sealed her fate and she had no fight. She was helpless against his demands and gave in with barely a whimper. His hand was under her shirt, his finger found her nipple and he rolled it, pinched it until she was panting and wet.
“Tyr, we need to skip dinner,” she said, her voice sounding too loud in the silent elevator. Until then the only sounds had been of them breathing and sighing into each other over the background of the whirring machinery. “I want you to take me back to your place and fuck me until I can’t remember my own name,” she breathed, and thrust herself against him again. She felt his cock respond, hard against her thigh.
“I was hoping you’d say that,” he replied and kissed her again. The doors slid open and the elderly Asian neighbor got in. He hit the lobby button and the two of them pulled apart, holding hands and looking disheveled and overheated. The neighbor caught Sarah’s eye in the mirrored reflection and gave her a very slight knowing smile. She was right, it was so obvious to those who belonged to this secret but not so exclusive club, when you are fucking somebody you might as well wear a sign declaring it to the world.
The elevator stopped on the ground floor and the three of them exited. Sarah and Tyr let the neighbor leave the lobby before resuming their kisses. They couldn’t keep their hands off each other and Sarah suspected if he asked, she’d let him lift her skirt and fuck her right there, bending her over the naugahyde bench next to the fake palm tree.
She needed to feel him, so she started to edge herself towards the front door. This public make out session was fine, but her body craved him, her desire for him was all consuming.
They finally made it to the Jeep, Tyr started to drive and they made small talk about their day apart. Sarah began to rub his thigh, letting her hand accidentally stroke his thick cock as he drove. She could feel the muscle flex every time he hit the gas or brake and it turned her on to think of his strength. She felt so safe with him around, like nobody could bring her to harm if Tyr was standing next to her.
She realized that he had been talking while she had been obsessing over his muscles and hard dick.
“Sorry baby, what was that?” she asked, sitting up and paying attention. It was difficult, she could see the outline of his cock in his pants and her hands were aching to fondle it.
“I was just talking about the new rehab program I got my mom into. It’s really hard to get anyone into it, but their success rate is 5 times the national average. I think she could have a really good chance in there,” he sounded so upbeat.
“That’s so awesome, when does she start?” she asked, giving him her full attention now.
He took a deep breath, ran his hand through his hair and said “That’s the hard part, getting her to go. I spent the afternoon looking for her, I left her messages with everyone she knows. Usually she takes a couple of days but she’ll get back to me. She has to be there Monday morning, I need to find her by then.”
“How about we look for her together? I can come along if you want,” Sarah said, hoping he’d accept and let her into his life even more.
He hesitated, then put his arm around her and said “I’d like that.”
They parked his Jeep and rushed up to his apartment, holding hands and out of breath. His apartment was still a little messy from the last time she’d been here, just two nights ago. They had spent the entire time studying and having sex, they’d discovered that nothing helped them learn faster than the promise of pleasure at the end of it. Sarah had memorized great amounts of information with the reward of Tyr’s cock inside of her. Tyr walked to the table, dropped his keys and started to take off his jacket. She looked around at the mess and started to pick up, she felt guilty that her influence resulted in a dirty place. Mom would die if she knew I let things get this messy.
“What do you think you’re doing?” Tyr asked and grabbed her arm, pulling him towards her.
“Trying to tidy this shameful mess,” she laughed and dropped a handful of papers on the floor the moment his body touched hers. She forgot about her task as soon as she remembered what she had come up here for.
“I’d rather spend my time making you sob my name than have you pick up my things,” he said and kissed her again. He put his arms around her and lifted, she put her legs around him and hung on. He took three long strides and had her seated on the kitchen counter. She kept her legs wrapped around him, clueing in that at this height, they lined up perfectly. He kept kissing her and started stroking her inner thigh. She felt a wave of heat wash over her, her body felt flushed from head to toe. She wanted to feel him on the inside of her and whispered as much in his ear, between kisses and small sighs.
“That’s why we’re so perfect together, we both want the same thing,” he said and smiled as he nibbled her neck. He took his forefinger, pulled her panties aside and ran it up and down her slit. She was ready for him, her legs apart and her pussy wet with her lust. He thrust a finger inside of her, fucking her with it while kissing her mouth. His tongue almost matched his finger’s rhythm and she started to rock her hips against him. She couldn’t stand it anymore, she reached down, unbuttoned his pants, and slipped her hand inside. She could feel his hard cock outlined under his briefs and managed to slide them down. He pulled out and she grabbed it with both hands, rocking her hips, kissing him and feeling his finger inside of her.
She pulled him towards her and guided the head of his dick to her slit. He pulled his finger out and slid it along her clit. When they were lined up, he pushed himself up and inside of her, rubbing her clit with his finger as he did so. She felt like she was enveloping him, drawing him into her as far as she could get. She tilted herself to slide more of him in, grabbed his ass and pulled at him. He was kissing her and thrusting, making small groaning noises as they got faster. She matched him with her hips and her cries. They were muffled against his lips, but she managed to cry his name a few times before they shuddered in time and finished together. Sarah tensed and bit his lower lip, digging her fingers into his back while he slowly withdrew. He held her close to him, breathing heavily into her ear, then said “God, I love you more than life itself, I don’t know what I’d do if I ever lost you.”
“You won’t get rid of me that easy,” she sighed back. “I’m home when I’m in your arms. All of it, our families, our past, it all fades away when I’m here. I can wrap my legs around you and feel all my trouble leaving my body. It’s like looking in a rearview mirror, I can see my former self getting smaller and smaller in the distance now that I have you.” she said and felt tears sting her eyes as she nuzzled her face into his neck. She breathed deeply, inhaling the scent of his musk and his clothing, and resolved to never leave home again.
*****
They ordered in. Neither of them could fathom the idea of getting their clothes back on and sharing each other with the rest of the world. Tyr opened the door and paid the uninterested delivery driver as Sarah giggled in bed, clutching the sheets to her chest. Tyr carried the boxes of greasy boxes of Chinese food to the bed, cracked open a bottle of wine and they shared their meal and talked until after midnight. Sarah was in a deep state of utter bliss, there was no other way she would have wanted to spend her nineteenth birthday. As they started to doze off, Sarah had a frightening thought. She didn’t know what she would do without him either. You’d better live to be a hundred, she thought and snuggled close to him, his arm wrapped around her, holding her safe from the world. If I ever lose you, I will lose myself. She sighed, closed her eyes and fell asleep with his breath on the back of her neck.
CHAPTER TWENTY SIX
A clatter of banging woke both of them up first thing in the morning. Tyr sat up, rubbed his eyes and said “Fucking hell, what time is it?”
Sarah grabbed her phone, “It’s only 9.” The banging repeated, it was somebody at Tyr’s door.
“I’d better see who it is. Don’t you move, I have plans for you Miss nineteen year old,” he said and leaned down to nuzzle her neck. She squealed and wiggled away, dragging the blankets with her.
“Don’t worry about that, I’m too tired to move,” she smiled at him and deliberately looked his naked body up and down, leering.
The thumping on the door got louder and Tyr yelled “God DAMN it, I’m coming!” He pulled his pants on and went to open it.
Sarah slid back down under the thick comforter, the air was too cool and she shivered, wanting Tyr’s warm body back beside her. She could hear him talking, he had gone into the hallway and the door was mostly closed. She thought she heard a woman’s voice. She was dying to know who it was. To pass the time, she checked her phone, no new texts, nothing happening on facebook and only a couple of emails. She almost jumped when she recognized Adam’s name on one of them. Why would he be emailing her after all this time? She wanted to read it but heard Tyr coming back into the apartment with somebody, definitely a woman.
He stuck his head around the bookcase and said “Hang on Sarah, it’s my mom. I’ll handle this....just stay put for a couple of minutes.”
Sarah laid in bed snuggling under the blanket and listening to their soft voices. Tyr’s mom sounded rough, her voice had a gravely crack to it that gave away her years of addiction. They were discussing the rehab program and Sarah couldn’t help but overhear, the bookshelf was simply the suggestion of a wall, not an actual division.
“I don’t think I can do this,” his mom said, her voice was small as though speaking from a faraway place.
“I think you can, and I think you need to,” Tyr was gentle, calming her. Sarah smiled, she loved his fierce protective side, but this loyal family guy was pretty hot too. He will make an amazing father, she thought. I mean when he wants to have children, and whoever he has them with.
“I don’t know if Rick will let me, he doesn’t like it when I’m gone,” his mom replied, her voice wavering.
“He doesn’t need to know where you are mom, if this is about you then he needs to leave you alone.”
“But he loves me, he’ll lose it if I disappear,” her voice gained strength with this protest.
“He doesn’t love you, he’s your pimp,” Tyr said, his voice flat. He knew Sarah would be able to hear the conversation and Sarah had to admit, she was stunned. His mother is a prostitute?
“He does love me Tyr, that’s all
I know and all I care about,” his mother’s voice got louder and more adamant.
“It isn’t love if he makes you do that shit. And what about us? What about your kids? Why aren’t we above your fucking pimp in this equation?” Tyr asked. Sarah could hear the pain in his voice, a raw wound that he had carried for years. She wanted to go to him and comfort him, but wasn’t sure how they would react to her intrusion. Fuck it, he needs me, she thought and reached for her clothes.
Tyr and his mother stopped dead in mid conversation and stared at her when she stepped around the corner.
“Oh, uh, sorry to interrupt. Hi!” Sarah said and waved. Oh my god, seriously? Tone it down a little, let dorky me have a break and allow laid back me to take the wheel.
Tyr came to her rescue, he grabbed her hand, pulled her to his side and said “Mom, I’d like you to meet my girlfriend Sarah. Sarah, this is my mom.”
“Hi Sarah, I’ve heard so much about you. You can call me Donna,” his mom extended her hand and Sarah shook it weakly. She could see a lot of Tyr in Donna’s face. The high cheekbones and ridiculous thick black eyelashes. She had once been a beautiful woman, but the effects of her chosen lifestyle were apparently on her face. She had small dark scars covering her smooth brown cheeks and arms, Sarah wasn’t sure if they were track marks or pick marks. She simply knew nothing about an addict’s life.
“I’ve heard a lot about you too Donna. I’d like to thank you for raising such an amazing man,” Sarah smiled and squeezed Tyr’s hand.
“I don’t think I had much to do with that. I think he did his best to raise me right, but I was too messed up by the time he came along,” she replied, laughing but Sarah could see the pain in her eyes betraying the light hearted remark.