by Jaden Wilkes
“Well, I’m just glad I finally got to meet you,” Sarah said. “Should we get something to eat? I’m starving!”
The two of them looked relieved and agreed brunch was in order. They chose their favorite Italian cafe for paninis and tiny espresso shots, Sarah’s new favorite. Donna and Sarah took their seats just as somebody scored a goal on TV and the cafe erupted in cheers. Sarah high fived the woman next to her, enjoying the excitement. She noticed Donna staring at her and looked down, her cheeks red. Donna held her espresso with trembling hands, Sarah glanced at them and felt disgust, they were veiny and gnarled with dry, patchy skin. Don’t judge, she told herself. Even if I’m giving up every other thing my church taught me, don’t judge.
“So Tyr tells me you met in class,” Donna said, a tired smile on her face. “That’s gotta be nice, going to school and planning for your future.”
“Oh it is,” Sarah replied, happy for the small talk. “It’s something I’ve always wanted, and I’m so thrilled to be here. Meeting Tyr is just the icing on the cake.”
Tyr was still in line waiting for their order, Donna glanced at him and looked back at Sarah. Her face grew serious, like a shadow passed over the sun. She fixed Sarah’s gaze and said “I want you to forget about him. I don’t want you to include him in your little dreams of the future, you hear me?”
Sarah was stunned. She knew it was mildly uncomfortable between her and Donna, but she didn’t know where this hostility came from.
“Wha-, what do you mean?” Sarah asked.
“I said I want you to forget you ever met Tyr. You two aren’t meant to be together, it’s clear as night and day. He’s a good Indian boy, and we don’t want him marrying a white girl.”
“But he’s half white!” Sarah exclaimed, drawing the attention of the soccer fans at the next table.
“Don’t you think I know that? That’s the problem though. If you two get hitched and have kids, they’ll pretty much be white. My family will be all gone, erased from my own grandchildren. That’s not the way it should be.”
Sarah didn’t know how to respond. She hadn’t considered Tyr’s family in any of her daydreams. She had been so consumed with her own family’s reaction to him that she hadn’t thought it could go the other way. Somewhere deep inside her she felt a knot growing. A hardness that unfolded into defiance. She leaned close to Donna and said in a low voice “Listen, I’m not going anywhere. Tyr’s an adult, he’s quite capable of making his own choices. He chooses me. I want us to be good friends, I really do. You’d better get used to seeing me because I’m going to be around for a long time.”
“Hey, there’s my girls, how are you two getting along? Is everything ok?” Tyr asked as he set the sandwiches down and shot Sarah a worried look.
“It’s going great sweetie,” Donna answered immediately, “Did you remember my extra pickle?”
“Oh shoot, I’ll go grab it mom,” Tyr said, kissed the top of Sarah’s head and went back to the counter. Sarah looked at Donna and was about to apologize when Donna cut her off. “You don’t know who you’re fucking with, white girl,” her grin was wide, like a mask, and she waved at Tyr like they were two friends talking about their favorite book.
Sarah tried to compose her thoughts but Tyr got back to the table before she had a chance to reply. She took a bite of her sandwich and chewed, it tasted like cardboard today while she listened to Tyr and Donna laugh over shared family stories.
Halfway through Tyr turned to Sarah and said “Are you ok? You’re so quiet.”
“I’m fine, it’s fun listening to you two talk about your family. I feel almost like I’m part of it,” Sarah glanced at Donna, nervous about her bold comments. Just back down, don’t be an idiot, she thought, remember my place, respect my elders. But Sarah couldn’t keep her mouth shut when it came to Tyr, she couldn’t back down if their relationship was being threatened. She didn’t know where she was getting this strength from, but she did like it.
“I feel like they’re your stories too. You’re part of my life now. Isn’t she incredible?” Tyr asked his mom.
“Adorable,” Donna replied with a flat voice. Ha score on for me, Sarah thought, I don’t care if that makes me an immature ass, it feels good.
The rest of the meal went on without any major incident. When they exited the cafe it was pouring rain, Donna paused and said “I’m going to head off now. Rick will be wondering where I’m at.”
“Mom, you can’t, I don’t want you to disappear before rehab. We can get you in tomorrow morning if we have to.”
“I don’t want to get in the way of you two love birds,” she said, sticking out her lower lip. Wow, she looks like my three year old niece about to throw a tantrum.
“You’re not in the way of anything, right Sarah?” Tyr said, looking to her for agreement.
“Oh of course not, we would love to have you come back to the apartment,” Sarah nodded.
Donna didn’t meet her eyes, she looked across the street at a group of men unpacking a truck or produce. Sarah wondered if Donna saw them as potential clients, then corrected herself for being so judgemental. Just because she’s obviously against Tyr and I, doesn’t mean I have to think such awful things about her.
“Mom, just come back with us, ok? I need you to get into this program, it might be your last chance,” Tyr pleaded with her.
Sarah realized how much he needed his mother clean and healthy. It wasn’t just for him, but for his younger siblings. She knew she’d have to be the bigger person in this situation, as much as it bothered her to let Donna think she’d won. “Donna, go back with Tyr, I’ll head home. I have some work to do anyhow. I need to study and finish a paper.”
They looked at her, Donna with triumph and Tyr with confusion. “You don’t need to go,” he said. “We don’t mind you staying around, honestly.”
“I don’t want you to go, I feel like I’m intruding on your plans with Tyr, and I don’t want that,” Donna said, completely unconvincing. Sarah wondered if Tyr picked up on the obvious sarcasm in her voice.
“I really do need to finish my research essay, so you two take it easy. And good luck in rehab Donna, I can’t wait until you’re finished so we can do this again.”
She’s going in the morning, Sarah thought, it’s just one night. And I’ll be busy with Naomi and her friends, so the time away from Tyr will pass quickly. She kissed him, slung her pack over her shoulder and walked to the bus stop, fighting the sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach.
CHAPTER TWENTY SEVEN
Naomi wasn’t home when Sarah got back to the apartment. She immediately hopped in the shower and let the steam carry away her conflicted feelings about meeting Donna. On the one hand, Donna was the mother of the only man who made her feel alive and free. On the other hand, she was a psychotic bitch who seemed hell bent on destroying her relationship with Tyr. Racism aside, the vehemence behind her convictions is what worried Sarah. Once Donna was safely tucked away in a rehab program Sarah could talk to him about Donna’s threats. Until then, she thought it was more important to support Tyr’s fight to get her healthy and clean.
When she left the bathroom, Naomi and Nic were already home, hanging out in the living room with a couple friends Sarah didn’t know. She said hello quickly but rushed to her room to finish getting dressed. It still unsettled her to find people strangers in her apartment. She wondered if it might be easier to move in with Tyr next year. Move in with him? Geeze, rushing things? Well, I guess when you know, you know. She couldn’t think of a single married couple that had taken things slowly, everyone in her life had been married and having babies within a year or so of meeting. Babies, that’s making quite a leap. Sarah wasn’t even sure if she wanted children, but if she was going be having babies with anyone, it would be Tyr.
The apartment was filling up by the time Sarah finished fussing with her tights, short skirt and top. She put on a cute jacket to complete the look and was pleased with what she saw. Long gone was the Littl
e House girl who had come here in September. Now if I could only bring myself to cut my damn hair.
Introductions were made and they all settled on a tapas bar on Vancouver’s West End. Sarah took a ride with Naomi and Nic and a girl from their women’s centre.
“You realize you can legally buy your own booze tonight Sarah!” Naomi yelled. “You’re, like, freaking old!”
“I know, I know, it’s been something I’ve looked forward to for years,” Sarah laughed and high fived her friend.
“No more begging for beers from your creepy neighbors, right?”
“Totally, we’re in business now baby,” Sarah replied. “We can get it whenever we want!” Sarah and Naomi had used the older boys the next farm over for bootlegging coolers. Sarah never really drank, but she did it for Naomi, she knew the guys would never say no to her.
The restaurant was beautifully decorated and crowded when they got there. Naomi stepped up to the hostess and said “We have a reservation for 12, under the name Veronica.”
As they were being shown their table Sarah nudged Naomi and whispered “look at us, making reservations like we’re people.”
Naomi laughed and said “Yup, we’re almost grown up baby, who knows where this kind of power could take us!”
The group was lively and helped keep Sarah’s mind off Tyr and the awful Donna. She prayed Donna was off to rehab in the morning and she’d have Tyr all to herself.
“What are you thinking about?” Naomi asked, handing her a glass of red wine. Sarah took a sip and relished the bitter taste. She felt sophisticated, able to order her own alcohol and moving beyond warm coolers or beer.
“I was thinking about Tyr’s mom,” she said, making an effort to keep her voice steady. She felt tears sting her eyes the minute she vocalized the issue.
“Oh my god! You met Donna?” Nic interjected. “That’s huge! You’re in, my friend. Nobody ever meets his mom!”
“I thought it was a good sign, but the bad news is that she hates me,” Sarah replied, sipping her wine.
“Why would you say that?” Naomi’s friend from school asked.
Sarah was instantly self-conscious when the table went quiet and everyone was waiting for her response. “Uh, she told me as much,” she managed to croak out. She took a long draw from her glass and motioned for more from Nic.
“Are you serious? Maybe you misheard her, what exactly did she say?” Naomi asked.
“She told me I should forget I ever met him, that she wouldn’t let him marry a white girl,” Sarah admitted, trying again to keep the tears from flowing. She hated that this bothered her so much, but she had fantasized that Tyr’s family would just love her, her own family would be difficult enough as it is.
“That’s pretty much Donna,” Nic said. “She’s a racist bitch among everything else. The funny thing is that she’s always gone for white guys herself, I don’t know where she gets off being so weird about you and Tyr.”
“What did Tyr say?” Naomi asked.
“He didn’t know, she was really sweet to me in front of him. I didn’t want to bring it up until she’s in rehab. She’s going tomorrow, so I don’t have to hold it in for long.”
“Be careful what you say though,” Nic offered. “Donna is a hag, but Tyr’s loyal about his family, sometimes to a fault.”
“I will,” Sarah said. “I’ll mention it and see what he says, if he’s weird about it then I can just drop it.”
Everyone seemed to agree that this was the best course of action. A second round of drinks and food arrived, and Donna was soon forgotten. Sarah felt her phone vibrate, she checked and read a text from Tyr. “I miss you, I wish I was by your side tonight. xoxox”
She smiled and held her phone under the table, writing back “you too, I’ll be lonely tonight. I love you”
“Me too. :)”
She felt flush from the wine and her love, she looked up and saw Naomi watching. They smiled at each other, content in their chosen matches. Sarah thought about how normal it seemed to her now that Naomi was with Nic, that she was with Tyr. She held up her glass as the table toasted her birthday and happiness bubbled up from somewhere deep inside of her. It was a reminder that she never wanted to go back to her old life in Alberta, and that she was one step closer to being completely free of her oppressive family.
*****
Sunday morning came too early for Sarah. They hadn’t gotten back until almost four in the morning and she was up early waiting to hear from Tyr. She kept her phone by her side and tried to distract herself by going over notes for her upcoming Anthropology quiz. Things were going to be harder now that she couldn’t rely on Adam’s easy marking for her.
Adam, fuck, what was that email all about? She flipped her laptop open and re-read the message, the read it again to make sure she understood what he was suggesting. He wanted her to go to the Provence in the south of France to assist on a Neandertal field school. Her heart skipped and she wanted to reply with a resounding YES as soon as it sunk in. This was it, her dreams were coming true. She had Tyr, she had this chance, she could be living in France for the summer, far from her family. And far from Tyr, she reminded herself. And way too close to Adam. How am I going to manage that?
Sarah was flattered but wished it was anyone but Adam offering this chance. If she went, she knew he’d make moves on her but she also knew she would be strong enough to tell him no this time. And going meant the chance of a lifetime, how many undergrads ever had the opportunity to be a lab assistant in an actual excavation? Especially their first year? I know why he’s inviting me, he wants to get me alone again. Or he just thinks I’m going somewhere and wants to give me this opportunity, she argued with herself.
She replied to him asking for more details. She needed to know how long it was and where she’d be staying. She didn’t want to get there and find out it was a month bunking with Adam, she wanted the boundaries to be clear from the beginning.
Her phone buzzed, she leapt for it and picked it up. It was Eric, calling her. He never calls, why now? she wondered. She had to pick up, what if he had been talking to her parents? Her stomach flip flopped and she slid the bar to answer.
“Hello?”
“Hey Sarah, it’s me, Eric.”
“Hey Eric, what’s up?”
“I talked to your parents last night.”
“Oh, what did they say?”
“They were happy to see me, I’m in town visiting my aunt right now.”
Sarah’s stomach flopped and dropped. He’s in Alberta? Oh god, this isn’t going to go well.
“Oh cool, where did you see them?” She tried to remember if there were any family portraits kicking around, although one look at her blonde family would clue him in.
“I paid them a visit, an interesting visit,” he said, she could hear him draw in a long breath before he continued. “Why did you lie to me?”
“What do you mean?” Oh yeah, brilliant counter response. She clearly wasn’t cut out for a life of deception.
“You know exactly what I mean, why did you pretend to be Naomi?”
It was Sarah’s turn for a long breath before she replied “I had to Eric, and I am so sorry I ever thought it was a good idea.”
“Ok, this ought to be good. Spill it Sarah, why on earth would you have to practice such a deception?”
“I need your promise that this stays here and doesn’t go beyond you and I, ok?” she pleaded. “As my friend,” she added for emphasis.
“Well, I kept your little secret safe even as I clued in at your parent's place. They showed me some adorable pictures of this little blonde girl, not a red hair in sight.”
“Thank you for that,” she whispered, relieved. “The thing is, I have a boyfriend.” She paused, waiting for his reaction.
“I thought it was something as silly as that,” he chuckled. “I just wish you had told me from the get go. I really liked meeting you two.”
“I liked it too, I like you. I wanted to tell you but I
also didn’t want to upset my boyfriend. It’s a sticky situation, most people don’t understand the influence our family has in our marital futures, right?”
He laughed outright at that. “You’re telling me, it’s hard to be an unmarried guy not doing his family duty, I can’t imagine being a girl in our crazy community. So can I ask, do you still have a boyfriend?”
“I do, I’m stupidly fully and deeply in love with him,” she smiled into the phone.
“Darn it,” he said, pretending to joke but she could tell her was sincerely let down. “I really do like you, I guess you know that. I’m a little embarrassed that I sent you a text asking you to set me up with...well, you!”
“Don’t be embarrassed, if it were under any other circumstance, I would jump at you in a heartbeat and we could make both our families happy enough to leave us alone,” she confessed. This felt wrong somehow, even suggesting she marry another man, but it was true. Eric would be quite a contender if she didn’t have Tyr in her life. But I have Tyr, and I love him more than I ever thought possible. I love him more than my heart can hold at times, I feel like it’s going to burst. She couldn’t help herself, she sighed.
“He’s a lucky guy, I hope he knows just how lucky he is,” Eric said, sounding defeated. Sarah was pleased that he had gotten the hint, they were past the lie, and they could finally move on to being friends.
“He knows, I think he loves me as much as I love him if that’s possible!” Sarah didn’t mean to gloat. But come on, this whole love thing is hard to keep to myself.
“So is there room for me in your life? Of course I’m attracted to you, I’m not going to lie about that,” he said pointedly. Sarah blushed and was glad he wasn’t there to see it. “I do enjoy our friendship though. I feel like we’ve grown close over the last few months and I would miss that in my life if you were gone.”
“Of course we can be friends!” she exclaimed, thrilled that she could keep her lover and her friend. She knew Tyr might have a problem with Eric, but he would just have to accept that she had friends of all types in her life. She needed an outlet of sorts. Naomi was so wrapped up in Nic and there was nobody else in her life she could toss problems at and get an unbiased answer, so Eric was here to stay.