Chance in Hell

by PATRICK KAMPMAN

  “Damn.”

  I could see the realization now fully dawning on him. I remembered when I went through the same thing. Learning that the world wasn’t what I thought. That things existed that shouldn’t. Monsters were real and living with us side by side.

  Everybody reacted to it differently. I went into shock for a while. Katy and Gabe both got angry. John hit the bottle.

  Some people probably went through denial, terror, even reverence. But only Bryan could have said, “That’s so fucking cool! So, like do something!” a minute after learning monsters really did exist.

  “Like?” said Lacey, eyebrows raised and the corner of her mouth pulled up in a smirk.

  “I don’t know, like that shit you pulled at the house with the snakes. That was some seriously messed-up shit.”

  “That would be a gratuitous display of power,” she said, though she got a very pleased look at the thought. She looked over at Megan, who rolled her eyes, looked around the room, and nodded.

  “Fine, but make it quick and don’t let anyone see you.”

  Lacey smiled, leaning over our table conspiratorially. She grabbed the small, wicked-looking knife she kept in her purse and sliced her palm. A small amount of blood welled out, and I looked quickly at Megan. She was staring intently, but that was it. I guess, having just had those three bags, the blood didn’t set her stomach rumbling.

  Lacey made a tossing motion with her hand. “Hey, Bryan—catch.” The blood in her palm had formed into what looked like a centipede. It sailed through the air and into Bryan’s hand as he instinctively did what he was told.

  “Damn, fuck, what the hell!” He pulled his hand away, trying to shake it off. It hung on and kept trying to crawl to whatever surface of his hand was up.

  Finally he flicked it off with the fingers from his other hand, sending it crashing to the table. It recovered and headed back his way, until he smashed it with the bottom of his fist.

  He moved his hand to find a small blood smear on his hand and the table, and muttered, “Damn, woman!” Lacey looked briefly hurt. Then he added, “That is so fucking cool,” and she beamed.

  Then she said quickly, as if to downplay her awesomeness, “It’s kind of a forbidden magic, though. You know, like necromancy and demon summoning. We aren’t allowed to do it. I think it upsets people. Plus,” she nodded in Megan’s direction, “she doesn’t like it when I play with food.”

  Megan brushed away the joke and said, “Well, that and the fact that most blood mages find the boundaries of using their own blood limiting.” She glanced at Lacey. “There is only so much of your own you can use. So they have a habit of using other people’s. Not necessarily with their permission.” I got the feeling that this explanation was as much for Lacey’s benefit as for ours, and that this wasn’t the first time Megan had given this lecture.

  Lacey looked a little sheepish and admitted, “Yeah, well, maybe. But I would never do that!” Megan stared at her. “Okay, so I did do it today, but that was different. He was already dead; he didn’t need it anymore.”

  “Well, I thought it was cool,” said Bryan, smiling at her.

  And I saw Lacey was actually smiling back at him. I was momentarily stunned. Did Bryan actually like her? And you couldn’t possibly tell me that she liked him. That would just be too weird.

  And that was when redheaded, legs-to-the-ceiling Amanda walked in, and Bryan seemed to forget all about Lacey. Amanda had changed her clothes since we last saw her all of half an hour ago. She was now wearing something even more vampy, if that was possible. Yeah, bad pun, but it fit.

  Her red dress barely covered her rear, and the five-inch heels put her at my height. She looked like a high-class hooker, which of course was a big hit with Bryan. Actually, a low-class hooker would have probably been just as big of a hit with him.

  “Dude, holy shit! That is hot!” He said it loud enough that I knew Amanda heard it. The barely perceptible turn of her head confirmed it.

  I knew what he was going to do and immediately tried to stop him. But this was Bryan moving in on a “shit-hot woman,” and the speed at which he moved would have made a vampire envious. He was halfway to her by the time I had managed to stand up, just registering the hurt look on Lacey’s face and the terror on Megan’s.

  It would have been a minor disaster if it had been just Amanda, but, as usual, she was joined at the hip with Gregory, Megan’s ex. So in this case it really was a full-on, slow-motion train wreck.

  “Hey there, beautiful,” Bryan said, ignoring Gregory and walking right up to Amanda. “I’m Bryan.”

  “Amanda.” She looked at him and grinned, offering her hand. Gregory looked stunned.

  Bryan, being Bryan, leaned over and kissed it. “So, why don’t you lose the stiff there, and let me get you a drink?”

  “A drink?” she repeated, smiling wider.

  “Yeah, we can start with something at the bar.” He looked her up and down. “Then we can move on to something else.”

  Gregory was getting visibly angry. The whites of his eyes had begun to go a soft pink, and he said in a dangerously quiet voice, “Do you know—”

  “Don’t know, don’t care.” Bryan cut him off. “You’re a vampire or something, right? All pale and whatever. Can you guys even get it up?”

  Then, completely oblivious to the sound of the impending train, he turned back to Amanda. “So, babe, have you had a real man lately? You know, one whose blood is pumping to all the right places?”

  She was enjoying herself, and I knew exactly the kind of girl she was. The kind who loved to set men off against each other, then sit back to revel in the carnage. The kind I had thought Megan and Lacey had been when I first saw them here at the table.

  Her look was wicked, full of pleased amusement. “Why, no, I haven’t—but I’m dying to try one.”

  She held out her hand, eyes simmering with some devilish thought. Bryan kept his eyes locked on her, took the offered hand, and led her toward the bar.

  Gregory actually burst a blood vessel at this. I saw it. The blood trickled down his cheek.

  “I’ll see you back at the house, Gregory,” Amanda called over her shoulder as she walked away.

  My brother walked past us and gave me a look that said, “Dude, you suck—look what I just bagged!”

  Megan was at my side, looking concerned. Neither one of us knew what to do. I looked back and saw Lacey still at our table, looking hurt and confused. Gregory stormed out, shooting us a look that promised retribution.

  Megan and I sat back at the table. When the food came, Lacey and I ate in relative silence. All three of us watched Bryan and Amanda like they were a bad reality TV show. They were talking and smiling at the bar. She was laughing at Bryan’s jokes, most of which, knowing him, were probably off-color. We finished our food, and I was going to try to extract Bryan, when he gave Amanda a kiss and whispered something in her ear. She was looking very happy.

  They both got up. Bryan headed to the restroom and Amanda sauntered out, giving us a big smile as she went. “Don’t worry; I’ll bring him back later tonight, more or less intact.”

  I was going to go trap Bryan in the restroom and try to talk some sense into him, but he came out of the bathroom an instant later. He couldn’t have been in there more than twenty seconds.

  He walked over to the table and said, “C’mon, man, let’s go.”

  “I thought you were going to go meet that bitch outside. Do you want an audience?” Lacey did not sound at all pleased. Given the demonstration she’d given us when we arrived, I wasn’t sure who worried me more right now, Gregory or Lacey.

  “Yeah, I told her to meet me out back by the creek.”

  “There is no creek out back,” said Megan, confused.

  Bryan shrugged. “Bummer. Then I guess she won’t find it.” He reached down and grabbed the last fry off Lacey’s plate before she could get to it. She looked even more stunned than before. “C’mon, let’s go before she gets back. What?” he
said, seeing our looks.

  “What?” he said again, looking genuinely confused. Then he laughed. “Shit, man, you think I’d be into her when I’ve got this fine lady waiting for me?” He nodded at Lacey. “Man, Lacey, that bitch ain’t even in your same league.” He ate the fry.

  “I mean, she goes and disrespects my girl back at the house, and I thought old Bryan here would have to teach her a little lesson.” Megan and I got up in stunned silence. Lacey was looking at Bryan with a crooked smile playing at her lips.

  “It’s just a little payback.” Bryan was trying to garner support. “Damn, Megan, after she stole your man from you, I figured you might appreciate it.” We all had started walking out and he continued, “She told me all about it. Shit, I can’t believe you let her do that. I mean, I guess it worked out for my brother and all, but shit, she’s a tramp. As soon as she started screwing your dude you should have—” Bryan shut up at Megan’s look.

  We got in the car and Bryan kept on going. “I just wound her up a little and let her go. She’s probably figured it out by now. She’ll find a cab or a ride home or whatever. It’s not like she’s going to go all psycho and kill me over it.”

  Bryan put his arm around Lacey’s shoulder. She looked torn between cuddling up into it and slapping him in the face. She decided on neither, and just sat there still trying to look mad. I had been around her enough to know that there was a pleased look peeking out around the edges.

  When no one spoke, Bryan said, “Shit. Seriously?”

  I looked back and said, “I’m sure it will be all right.”

  Megan shook her head. “She’s going to kill him.”

  Chapter 28

  We pulled into the garage and walked back to the house. Meriwether was waiting for us in the foyer.

  “Donovan is expecting you in his study.”

  I felt his presence before we entered the study. I would have called it a library. Books lined every wall, and the bookshelves went two stories high. We were in one of the towers. A spiraling metal staircase led to a catwalk where the second-floor books could be accessed. Donovan sat in a leather armchair behind a big wooden desk. I expected a dignified man in his mid-forties wearing a tailored suit. Like Gregory, but older.

  So of course what I got was a twenty-five-year-old about my size wearing a Ramones T-shirt and cargo shorts. He had skin that would have been at home in the Mediterranean, and his longish dark hair was in disarray. I realized that I was probably wearing his clothes. He wore a look of calm resignation on his face.

  “Megan. It’s been a while.” He stood. “Nice to see you, too, Lacey. And these are our fearless vampire hunters, I presume. I say fearless, but I could mean incredibly stupid. Well, it’s one or the other, as you walked right into my house.”

  He saw my expression and said, “The duffel bag gave you away. Don’t worry; if Megan brought you here, I will assume you have seen the error of your ways. Either that, or she wants to kill you painfully as the rest of us watch?” He looked at her hopefully. “No? Are you sure? Well. Pity.” He stuck out his hand. “Donovan.”

  “Chance,” I said, shaking it.

  “Hey, dude—Bryan.”

  “Charmed. So, then, what does bring you here? As I understand it, you showed up a few hours ago a little worse for wear. Our Megan seemed to have taken the brunt of it.”

  So I told him the story of how we ended up at his house. I left out the part about vampire hunting in Texas; I didn’t want to push my luck. He listened, only interrupting occasionally to ask a question when he wanted clarification. When I finished he sat back, hands folded on his desk, and looked up at the ceiling. He reminded me of a young, grungy Mr. Burns from The Simpsons.

  “And so tomorrow you’re going to try and send these demons back to hell?” We nodded. “And you’re going to do it in the middle of two werewolf packs?” We nodded. “I can’t let you do that.”

  I was about to protest when he held out his hand to stop me. “Not alone. I meant I can’t let you do that alone. You can’t trust a werewolf. They’re feral things. Kill you as soon as look at you. Now, if it was only one pack, maybe they could hold it together long enough, but two of them?

  “They hate each other maybe even more than they hate us. Something is bound to happen. One of them will look at another wrong, or sniff someone in some inappropriate place, and then we’ll have anarchy.

  “I am fond of Megan. I’ve known her for a long time. I’d rather not lose her like I almost did earlier today.” The way he said it, I looked over at Megan, wondering if there had been something between her and Donovan, maybe before Gregory. Her face was blank, which surprised me. She almost always had some type of expression on it; she was usually easy to read. This time I couldn’t tell, though. At my look, she reached across to grab my hand. It was the bandaged one, and I held it as gingerly as I could. I saw Donovan’s eyes take in her move with a split-second glance.

  “And even if it doesn’t devolve into chaos, it’s possible one of the packs will try to take the thing for themselves, and we can’t allow that to happen. So some of us will be going with you to make sure everything goes smoothly.”

  That was great, because you can never have too many groups of people that hate each other in one place.

  “When is this planned for?”

  “Not sure. Tomorrow sometime. I’m expecting a call from Father Allen.”

  “Make sure it’s after dark.”

  “Yeah, okay.”

  “I’ll have to meet with the others about this tonight. We’ll decide who will accompany you. In the meantime, I’ll have Meriwether prepare rooms for Lacey and Bryan. Let me know when you find out what time this is going to happen.”

  Donovan turned his attention back to a laptop on his desk. I think we were done. He must have assumed Megan and I were bunking up, because I didn’t hear about any room for me. I was thinking about correcting him when Megan did it for me.

  “Chance will need a room, too.”

  “Oh?” His brows rose in surprise. “Fine.” Then he went back to his computer.

  Clearly dismissed, we all got up and exited the study. Megan went to track down Meriwether while the rest of us explored the main floor of the mansion. Lacey had apparently spent some time here, and was in the middle of giving us a guided tour when my phone rang.

  I pulled it out and saw that it was Father Allen. I excused myself and answered it.

  “Son, it’s me, Allen. How are you doing?”

  “Not too bad, considering.”

  “Good to hear it. We’re all set for tomorrow. The afterschool care ends at six-thirty, but we will also need to wait for the evening classes to finish. The last one is the seniors’ flower arranging class, which is over by ten. Then I’ll have some setting up to do. I figure we can start at eleven.”

  “Sounds great, but…um, yeah. We have a couple of complications.”

  There was silence.

  “Toni is insisting she is going to be there with some of her, ah, pack or whatever.”

  “I counted on that; it shouldn’t be a problem.”

  “And, ah, so now some of the vampires want to come, too.”

  “Vampires?”

  “Yeah. And a witch.”

  “A witch?”

  “Yeah, though I think she can help. The witch, I mean. Look, she thinks she might be able to banish the demons on her own, but I think that maybe instead of that, we use her as backup. Kind of like a safety net, in case your part doesn’t go as planned.”

  “You want me to let a witch perform demon magic? Black magic? In my church?”

  “Demon-banishing magic, yeah. I mean, that can’t be bad, right?”

  “I’ll be excommunicated.”

  “Well, only if everything goes well. ‘Cause if not, well, it won’t really matter.”

  “Chance, son, you’re not inspiring confidence.”

  “Just think about it, okay?” I liked giving him the illusion of having a choice. It wasn’t like I could
stop any of these people from showing up even if I wanted to.

  I finished up my call with Father Allen and, while no one was around, I took the opportunity to call Toni. She answered on the first ring.

  “Hey, Chance—it’s about time! Thought you forgot again.”

  “How could I forget? After you went through all that trouble to make sure I wouldn’t.”

  “Oh, it was no trouble,” she said.

  “So, I talked with Father Allen. He’s going to do this thing tomorrow night, eleven o’clock, at the church.”

  “We’ll be there.”

  “About that. It seems like this keeps growing. I was wondering if maybe we should all get together and talk about this. Maybe keep the numbers at a reasonable level?”

  “Yeah, we’ll talk to Rodriguez and work out the details.”

  “Good. I was worried. I mean, there’s going to be two packs of werewolves, and the witch, and then the, um, vampires.” I sort of mumbled the last word, hoping she wouldn’t call me on it.

  “Vampires?”

  Toni didn’t miss much. “Yeah, they’re coming.”

  “Shit, Chance.”

  “They didn’t give me much choice.”

  “I told you, you can’t trust them.”

  “Yeah, yeah; I know.”

  “Shit. Yeah, okay. So how many are they bringing?”

  “I don’t know. I guess I can find out, though. They’re supposed to meet on it tonight or something. I should know by tomorrow.”

  “Do that, and if the vampires aren’t bringing along the whole nest, maybe we can limit the packs to six members each or something.”

  “That would be good.”

  “So, have any lunch plans?”

  “No,” I said, before I could stop myself.

  “Well, you do now. Meet me at Willow Street at noon. They do a good pizza.”

  “All right.”

  “See ya then.”

  “Yeah.” I hung up and went to return Paul’s bag. I finally found the rear parlor, where he was still playing a video game. I took out the urn and put back his laptop and power cord.

  “Thanks,” I said, leaving his pack on the blue chair where I had found it.