Lone Star Knight

by Cindy Gerard

  Only later, after they’d managed to stumble to bed and he’d fallen asleep in her arms, did she let herself think about her feelings for him.

  It was something she’d purposely never talked about with Matthew. It was, after all, quite gauche of her to have fallen in love with him. Or so her friends would say. They took lovers. They did not fall in love with them. That was not the expectation.

  Matthew did not have expectations either. She knew he cared for her. Maybe even more than a little. But not enough to ask her to be a part of his life.

  He stirred beside her, drew her tighter against his side in his sleep. She trailed her hand lovingly through his hair, knowing he was so deeply asleep nothing would wake him. Love like this, intimacy like this had eluded her for her entire life. By choice or by design, she wasn’t really sure which. It had simply been…easier to maintain distance. To avoid any intense relationships. Or perhaps she had simply never met anyone who had moved her enough to explore the possibilities.

  Until now.

  She stared into the dark, wishing there could be possibilities for them. Possibilities with this beautiful man, a man she was profoundly attracted to. This man who made her want to look a little deeper, who made her yearn to know if there was more to her, if she had more to give. To a relationship. To one special person, instead of maintaining a careful distance from the world at large.

  The world at large. Her hand stilled in his hair. The world was the bigger picture. She had to keep that in sight. His world and hers did not mix. She thought back to their first dinner together and how he’d rejected her comment that she could grow to love Texas.

  …my experience with beautiful women is that they prefer civilization and cities…to solitude and breathtaking sunsets.

  She’d wondered then about the women in his life. Wondered if, perhaps, there had been one woman who had disappointed him. But she’d never asked and he’d never offered. He rarely offered anything about himself. It stung. But it effectively drew a line he didn’t want to cross.

  He had been wrong, though, about what she preferred. Even now, knowing the time would come, she felt too much regret over the thought of leaving High Stakes. It was unsettling this…this almost instant connection she’d felt for his home. It was more than the stark, harsh beauty of the endless desert and the lush opulence of the house and grounds. More than the comfort. Even more than the company. She couldn’t suppress the notion that it seemed, somehow, like the perfect hideout. From the press. Perhaps from her own insecurities.

  And there, Helena, is the rest of the story. While she knew her feelings for Matthew were strong, she suspected that they were somehow tangled up in her fear of facing the world again. Maybe he suspected it, too. He made it very convenient to settle in here but at the same time was very careful not to attach any expectations.

  It would probably be best for all concerned when she finally found her courage and put some distance between herself and this man who, in the span of a few short weeks, had made her think about things she’d never thought about before. Things like belonging…to someone. Needing…someone.

  Soon, she promised herself as she indulged in the solid warmth of his body wrapped around her. Soon, she would find that facet of herself that wanted to play for the camera, smile for the world. And when she did, it would be time to leave him.

  But not tonight. Tonight, she’d found everything she’d ever wanted in the arms of this beautiful Texan who held her.

  “Look, I told you. I’ll get in touch when the lady is ready to talk to you. Yeah. I’ve got your number.”

  Matt slammed down the receiver. Only after he’d muttered a few choice words beneath his breath, did he realize he had an audience.

  “Oh. Hi.” He crossed his arms over his chest and leaned a hip against his desk when he turned and found Helena standing hesitantly in the doorway of his office.

  She looked from the phone to him. “Who was that on the phone, Matthew?”

  He thought about lying to her, but there was really little point; he couldn’t protect her from this meeting forever. “Remember those two men who stopped us after your first clinic visit?”

  “The investigators from Asterland.”

  He nodded. “They still want to talk to you.”

  She leaned a shoulder against the doorframe. “About the crash.”

  Although her face was blank of emotion, he could tell from the tone of her voice that the idea bothered her. “You don’t have to do it, Helena.”

  She met his eyes. “Maybe it’s time that I do.”

  He looked at the tips of his boots, clenched his jaw but said nothing.

  She walked up beside him and picked up the morning edition of the Royal paper that lay on his desk. While she was no longer the headline material of past editions, there was still an article about her on the front page along with speculations about her whereabouts. “It’s time I talk with the press, too,” she added and tossed it back down.

  Matt looked into the eyes of the woman who had been released from the hospital a little over three weeks ago. That woman, for all of her practiced airs, would never have been strong enough to face the press or Yungst and Johannes. A different woman faced him now. A woman who was rediscovering her own strengths and was ready to test them. He found both relief and regret in that knowledge. He was glad for her. Glad she had rallied to this level of confidence, yet unaccountably upset that it meant the beginning of the end of their time together at High Stakes. The thought tweaked more than it should have, even though he’d known all along that she would eventually leave.

  “It’s your call,” he said carefully. “But if you decide to do it, it’ll be by my rules.”

  She regarded him with questioning eyes.

  “I’ll call a press conference. We’ll hold it here. That way I can control when they come, when they go, and how many. We’ll invite Yungst and Johannes and get it over with in one big party.”

  “I can’t allow you to let them invade your home. You have no idea the circus this will turn into.”

  He smiled ruefully. “I got a pretty good idea the day you were released from the hospital. I won’t let them mob you. This will be on my terms, on my turf.”

  She walked over to him, placed a soft kiss on the firm line of his mouth. “My brave Texas knight. You would hold off a legion of enemies for me, wouldn’t you?”

  He said nothing, but he realized in that moment that he would do exactly that.

  She shook her head. “Matthew, listen to me. Once the press knows where I am, they will camp out on your doorstep like gypsies. Pictures of your ranch will be printed all over the world. They’ll fly over in helicopters; they’ll perch in your trees. They’ll do anything to get to me and, by association, to you. Your life will be forever altered. Your privacy will be destroyed. I don’t want that to happen to you.”

  She was right. He’d known it when he’d made his ultimatum and still he’d been determined to go through with it. More than he was concerned about his privacy, however, he was concerned about her safety. She still didn’t know her life might be in jeopardy. And he still wasn’t willing to put her at risk. Here, at High Stakes, he could control the elements. He had good men working for him. Loyal men. But, there were only so many of them and he had no idea what kind of odds he was up against.

  “Okay,” he said, reconsidering. “We won’t do it here. Give me a couple of days and I’ll get something worked out.”

  “Why not hold the conference at the hotel?” she suggested. “It’s very public, and yet I’m sure the staff would arrange for my privacy.”

  The hotel was very public. Too public. Too many things could go wrong.

  “I’ll think about it,” he said evasively. “Just trust me to handle this for you, okay?”

  “I trust you, Matthew,” she said and stepped away. “I have always trusted you.”

  And then she walked out the door.

  He didn’t know why it felt like the first of many goodbyes
between them. He didn’t know why the fact of her leaving hit him broadside. He’d always known that when she recovered her strength and her confidence she would go. He’d wanted that for her. He just hadn’t wanted it so soon.

  “Matthew, you’re so edgy. Please, relax. The press did not follow us. No one did.”

  Matt rolled his shoulders, glanced in the rearview mirror of the black Lexus he rarely drove, favoring his SUV. As far as he could tell, no one had followed them out of High Stakes. The press didn’t know that Helena was with him. If Yungst and Johannes hadn’t figured out where she was staying yet, they soon would—and that was what was making him edgy. That and this quick stop before the press conference he had arranged at the club. Helena, in the dark about the danger she might still be in, wanted to see his friend Jamie Morris who she befriended on the plane before she met with the press. Even though he’d wanted to tell her no, he couldn’t without revealing that she may be in danger.

  So stopping at Jamie’s was the first leg of a journey that had acid churning in his stomach. He made himself relax when they pulled up outside her house.

  “Would you like to come in with me?” she asked when he rounded his car and opened the door for her.

  He shook his head. “You’ll want to see her alone. Give her my best. I’ll wait out here for you.”

  Then he settled in to watch and to wait. And to hope that he hadn’t made a mistake exposing her to the unknown risks that were out there, lurking.

  Helena embraced the younger woman when she opened the door, taken again with Jamie Morris’s blond, fresh-faced beauty. “I’ve been worried about you,” she confessed, when they were seated at either end of Jamie’s sofa after a chorus of smiling hellos.

  “Helena, you don’t need to worry about me. You’re the one who was hurt. I was so glad when I found out you were out of the hospital, but I’ve hated it that I didn’t know where you were. You’ve been with Matt this entire time?”

  “I’m sorry. I never thought,” Helena said. “I should have called. And before you ask, I’m fine. Really fine.” It wasn’t until she’d said it out loud that Helena realized the truth of her words. She was fine. Everything was going to be fine. And the sooner she got on with her life, the better.

  She wasn’t so sure, however, that things were well with Jamie. “The question, Jamie, is how are you doing?”

  Jamie shrugged a shoulder. A look came over her face that Helena could only think of as lost before she hid it behind a cheery smile. “I’m okay.”

  “But not as okay as you would have me think?” she prompted gently. “You’ve had a bit of a shake up in your life, too.”

  When Jamie didn’t respond, Helena reached out and took her hand. “I know you were looking forward to flying to Asterland and becoming Albert Payune’s bride. And I’m sorry for that disappointment. But, Jamie, if you haven’t already reconsidered and decided not to follow through with this mail-order marriage, please think about what I’ve already shared with you. My opinion of Albert Payune has not changed. He was a loyal follower of my late cousin Ivan. Ivan—well, Ivan was not a good man, Jamie. Ivan was power hungry and weak and the source of much grief for my country. I cannot help but think that Albert is very much like Ivan. I don’t know what Albert is up to, but I fear that his motives for marrying you are not as pure as he had presented them.”

  Jamie rose, walked to the window. “Well, you can quit worrying, Helena. There isn’t going to be a wedding. Not now. Evidently not ever. My father….” She ran her fingers along the edge of the curtain, hesitated. “Well, this was my father’s grand scheme and since he seems to have disappeared, Albert also seems to have had a change of heart.”

  “Jamie.” Relieved but concerned for Jamie, Helena rose and went to her. She placed a hand on her shoulder. “I’m sorry for the hurt this has caused you. But I’m not sorry that you won’t be marrying Albert.”

  “Let’s face it,” Jamie said on a long sigh, “I only agreed to the marriage arrangement in hopes that my dad would put the money Albert paid him back into the family farm. And frankly, I wanted to get away from Royal. I guess I wanted a shot at a little adventure, you know? But then again, I suppose it was naive to believe that if I didn’t like Albert I could just come back to Royal.”

  Helena turned Jamie toward her, smiled into her velvet green eyes and knew there was more pain in her story than she would let on. “Trust me on this. Payune is a ruthless user of people. You are better off out of it.”

  When Jamie looked past her, she squeezed her arm gently. “You are a young and lovely woman. Someday—when the time is right, when the man is right—you will wear that beautiful heirloom wedding dress that you showed me. Someday, you will be the bride of a man who loves you.”

  Jamie tried for a smile. “I won’t be holding out a lot of hope for that. But,” she said, rallying with a little laugh, “just in case you’re right, I suppose I should take the dress to the cleaners and have it prepared for storage because it doesn’t look like I’ll be wearing it any time soon.”

  Helena embraced her, thinking that the two of them had more in common than anyone would imagine. Helena was in love with a man who cared for her deeply but did not love her. Jamie had so much love to give to the man who would discover what a gift her love would be.

  “I must go,” she said before she became maudlin. “I’ll be returning to Asterland soon. But we’ll keep in touch, all right?”

  “I’d like that.”

  “Me, too. Good-bye, Jamie.”

  “Good-bye.”

  “All set?” Matt asked as they sat in his black car outside the rear entrance to the Texas Cattleman’s Club.

  “Matthew,” she said softly but with a small show of impatience, “I have been set for the past fifteen minutes. Why are we still waiting here in the car?” A frown creased her brows.

  Just then Matt’s cell phone rang.

  “Walker,” he said, his expression sober. He listened for a moment, then turned around and looked behind them. “Yeah. I see you now, Dakota. Where’s Justin? Never mind. He just pulled up. Aaron is already parked ahead of us.

  “Okay. It’s show time. As soon as I get out—okay. Okay. I know you know the drill. See you inside.”

  He pocketed the phone. Smiled at Helena. “Time to go make nice.”

  While he could see she was perplexed, she didn’t ask any questions. He did, however, stop her with a hand on her arm. “Your scarf,” he insisted. “We talked about this. You need to put it on.”

  She rolled her eyes, but she did as he asked. “You’re having fun with all this cloak-and-dagger, aren’t you?” she asked with an exasperated grin.

  He gave her a slashing smile. “More than you’ll ever know.” And then he was out the door.

  When he opened Helena’s door, Justin, Dakota and Aaron followed suit and out popped three more women, all dressed in black like Helena, all with scarves over their heads and hiding their faces. Winona was with Justin, Pamela with Aaron. With Dakota was a moonlighting policewoman they’d hired to help play out this little charade. Ben, his hands full looking out for Jamie, wasn’t a part of this particular event.

  Matt had been right to be cautious. The lot was teeming with reporters who quickly closed in on the quartet of cars. He gave a clipped nod and all four men ushered their ladies through the throng to the club’s rear entrance door.

  With a little luck, when it was time to leave, the press would have as much trouble figuring out which woman was Helena as they would trying to figure out which vehicle she would be leaving in. And after the four of them led them on a wild and merry chase around Royal, Matt would, he hoped, be able to lose them long enough to get Helena back to the ranch before they figured out who was who.

  “Ease off,” Dakota snarled, bringing up the rear, as the crush closed in.

  “Remind me to keep you on the short list if I ever need an intimidation factor again,” Matt said with a grim smile as they trooped into the building.

&nbs
p; “Any time,” Dakota answered, his eyes watchful on the jostling crowd. “Any time at all.”

  When they were all inside, where her privacy was protected, Matt pulled Helena off into a corner of the room.

  “We can call this off at any time,” he said, watching her face carefully. Even before she responded, he saw the confidence he was searching for in her eyes.

  She smiled up at him. “I’m fine. And it’s past time I faced them.”

  The press conference was called to a close precisely twenty minutes after it had started. Matt had arranged for Hank Langley, owner of the Texas Cattleman’s Club, to ride herd over the proceedings. Hank liked nothing better than a good fight, and he held the line like a right tackle for the Dallas Cowboys.

  “I said, it’s over.” Hank’s voice bellowed over the microphone when the press, led by Willis Herkner, clamored for one more question and then one more. “What part of over don’t you understand, boy?” Hank demanded with a scowl that offered absolutely no room for challenge as he escorted Helena from the dais in the main ballroom.

  “You okay, darlin’?” Hank asked, his hand supportive at the small of her back as he ushered her through the door and into a private hallway.

  “Actually, yes,” Helena said and found herself smiling as Matt met her, his face tight with strain. “I am. I’m fine,” she assured him.

  “You were wonderful.” He took her hands in his. “They were eating out of the palm of your hand.”

  “It’s like riding a horse,” she said with a victorious smile. “You never forget how to handle the reins.”

  “Are you still up for meeting with Yungst and Johannes?” he asked and she would have hugged him for the concern in his voice had they not been surrounded by people.

  “I’m up for anything,” she said with an assurance that spoke of her rediscovered confidence. “Although I can’t imagine what I can tell them about the crash that they don’t already know.”