Shadows and Dreams (Dream Series Book 2)

by Braxton Hicks

  “That's so great, Gina! I hope you get pregnant quickly so that there isn’t too much of an age difference between our babies.”

  “Wouldn’t that be so cool? I want to breastfeed, too. You make it look so easy, Ty.”

  “It's easy,” I admitted. “But more than that, it's just so special, the way it makes you feel. Did I tell you that I want to start sleep-sharing?”

  “Sleep sharing? What's that?”

  I explained to Gina that many parents who are breastfeeding their infants are now opting to have the "family bed," which is where the mother, father, and baby all sleep together. It's supposed to help with total family bonding as well as benefit the infant promoting security and self-confidence.

  “I see. And the Hot Nazi is down with that?”

  “Well, actually, I haven’t discussed it with Trey in any detail yet.”

  “Right,” she laughed. “You be sure and let me know how that goes, alright?”

  “I think he'll be on board with it,” I lied.

  “I hate to state the obvious here, girlfriend, but it looks like I have to. How in the hell are you two supposed to have a sex life with a baby in bed with you all night?”

  I flushed, knowing that this would be the same argument I could expect from Trey.

  “Gina,” I replied patiently, “it enhances the specialness for couples as they find more creative and spontaneous times and places in their schedules to accommodate their lovemaking in private.”

  I'd memorized this verbatim from the information I'd found online relative to the ‘family bed.’

  “Right,” Gina replied. “I’m gonna go out on a limb here and say that there isn’t going to be any ‘family bed’ in your house as long as Trey is living there.”

  She started snickering, but I was fairly sure that she was right.

  Pilates was brutal, but well worth it since I discovered that I'd lost two more pounds since last week. Only four more pounds to go until I'd be back to my pre-pregnancy weight.

  Trey was in our bedroom watching something on ESPN, and Preston was sleeping soundly in her bassinet next to our bed. I crawled up on the bed next to Trey.

  “How'd she do for you?" I asked him.

  “She was a perfect angel, as always,” he boasted, gently tugging at my ponytail to draw my face close to his. He kissed me warmly.

  “I’m going to grab a shower; want to join me?” I asked. He gave me his dimpled grin. Within moments we were soaping each other up in the shower, enjoying the feel of our hands all over each other. We quickly towel dried ourselves, then made a beeline for the bed while we had this window of opportunity before Preston would demand my attention once again.

  We crawled beneath the sheets, still damp from our shower. Trey was on his back, his arm crooked beneath his head, watching me as I traced his nipple with my tongue. I continued on a southward path down his taut belly and below. My hands caressed his hips and massaged his firm ass. I parted his thighs, crawled between his legs and knelt, bending over to allow my damp hair to caress his belly while I took his erection into my mouth. I gently flicked my tongue along the growing length of it.

  “Mmmm,” I moaned, as I brought his erection to fullness. I went up and down on him, rocking back and forth to take his full length into my mouth. My tongue swirled hungrily around and around the head, tasting his clear fluid as his hips gyrated with pleasure. I could tell my massaging was bringing considerable pleasure to him. He moaned each time I increased the pressure in a different area.

  “Oh, baby,” he rasped, “You ready for some protein?”

  His hips were thrusting faster and harder now. I moaned, loving the taste of him; hungry for the warm, salty protein he was about to give me. I sucked harder now, working my mouth to bring him his pleasured release.

  Just then, Preston started fussing from her bassinet. I could hear her sucking loudly on her fingers. She was hungry and it was right on schedule. I tried to increase my rhythm on Trey, going up and down on him faster. He'd slowed his thrusting, distracted by the baby’s fussing. Her discomfort was quickly escalating into full-blown crying.

  It was no use. The window of opportunity had slammed shut for the moment. His hands framed my head, brushing my hair back and raising me up gently so that I could see his face.

  “Take care of Preston, baby. I can wait.”

  He smiled at me with his still smoldering eyes that were hungry for fulfillment. We both understood that she was our priority now.

  I scooted out of our bed and lifted my hungry baby to my breast. She rooted for a couple of seconds before firmly latching on. I climbed back up next to Trey, pulling the sheet up around us as he pulled me back against him, resting an arm around my shoulder.

  Preston’s sapphire blue eyes were wide as she locked her gaze onto me, her tiny fingers kneading my breast. I looked down at her, thinking about what she'd interrupted. She smiled up at me, dimpling the same way Trey did, a droplet of milk running down her chin. I lowered my lips to her forehead, kissing her softly.

  Chapter 2

  Dr. Addison cleared me as being healed at my appointment. He indicated that I could resume full sexual activity. The doctor and I discussed birth control that would accommodate my breast-feeding. I decided to be fitted for a diaphragm; it was the most risk-free option in my mind. I discussed the “family bed” with Dr. Addison, confiding to him my fears that Trey would shoot it down due to our “robust” sex life. Dr. Addison chuckled. I had a feeling he'd heard it all before.

  “The most important thing is that both you and Trey be fully committed to doing this. That's the only way that it'll successfully work. Discuss it amongst yourselves; identify the pros and cons and then mutually decide what's best for all of you.”

  “Thanks Dr. Addison, I will,” I promised. “I realize that it's a commitment for both of us.”

  “Speaking of which, I understand that you and Trey are to be married next month?”

  “Yes,” I smiled. "We’re getting married on July 4th at his family home in Virginia.”

  “Independence Day, huh?”

  “Yes, doctor. I guess you see the irony in that as well.”

  I smiled, as it had become a family joke with the Sinclairs since we'd told them.

  “I think that you and Trey will make a wonderful family with your precious baby. Best wishes to you both.”

  On the way home, I contemplated how I'd broach the subject of the family bed, though it wasn't just that; it involved abstinence as well. I knew that Trey would be quizzing me at his earliest opportunity about what the doctor had said about resuming sex. The truth was, there was just under a month left until our wedding. Part of me wanted to honor tradition and practice abstinence until our wedding night. Having him agree to the family bed would certainly make that part easier.

  Mrs. Harris had watched Preston for me while I kept my appointment with Dr. Addison. She was an absolute dear with the baby; watching her occasionally on her days at our apartment so that I could run quick errands or keep appointments for various wedding preparations.

  Preston was awake in her swing when I got back to the apartment. Jean was singing while she dusted the living room. Preston was swinging back and forth, content to watch her. She immediately recognized my voice as I greeted Jean and then bent down to talk to her. She smiled, dimpling me with her Trey dimple that warmed my heart.

  “That's one good baby you have there, Tylar,” Jean said as she continued dusting. “She never gives me a bit of trouble. Whatever you're doing, it sure does make her one happy little baby girl, I can tell you that.”

  I beamed with pride. Having no experience with babies, it meant a lot that someone like Jean, who had children of her own, would recognize I was doing something right. Of course, I had to give Trey his just due. He was a very participative father.

  “Thanks, Jean,” I said, lifting Preston from her swing. I couldn’t get enough of her baby smell. I pressed her close to me, planting soft kisses on her head. She snugg
led against me.

  “She sure does look like her daddy,” Jean commented. “Though, I think she has your mouth and nose,” she quickly added. “Between the both of you, Preston's going to be one beautiful girl."

  “I think so too, although it’s mostly from Trey. He's quite a handsome man.”

  “Don’t sell yourself short. You're a mighty handsome woman yourself. Why, you and Mr. Sinclair complement each other with your good looks. That baby's got the best of both. Anyone can see that.”

  “I want to tell you how much I appreciate you watching her while I kept my appointment. I'm very protective of her and you feel like family—I hope I’m not imposing—”

  “Not one bit,” she assured me, as she finished up in the living room.

  “It does my heart good to care for a little one, again. I feel like family with her too.”

  Preston was squirming in my arms, a sign she was either hungry or needed a diaper change. I decided I'd check her diaper first. I headed to the nursery, laying her down on her changing table. She promptly started sucking her thumb; her big blue eyes followed me as I crossed the room to get the tube of ointment off the dresser. She was kicking her little legs as I unsnapped her onesie and ripped the taped tabs off of her disposable diaper.

  “Pee-Yew!” I said, pinching my nose and smiling down at her. “Somebody has a stinky poo-poo in her diaper, doesn’t she?”

  She grinned at me, momentarily forgetting about her thumb, kicking her legs as I removed the dirty diaper and wiped her clean. Once freshly diapered, I carried her into our bedroom and settled down on the bed with her. I grabbed my nursing pillow so that I could comfortably feed her, cradled against me on the pillow.

  I pulled a blanket up to partially cover us. It was so cozy nestled with her that I ended up dozing off as she nursed contentedly, encircled in my arms. It must've been an hour or more later that Trey lifted a sleeping Preston from my arms, gently placing her into the bassinet near our bed. I awoke and yawned, stretching languidly as I pulled the blanket up further. My nap was delicious. I didn’t want it to end, now that I knew Preston was snuggled up in her bassinet sawing logs.

  Trey was beside me in a moment, wrapping me in his arms, kissing my neck. He fondled the bare breast that Preston had just left.

  “What did the doctor say today, baby?”

  Uh oh.

  “Well, he said that it looks as if I'm healing up nicely.”

  No lie there.

  “So? Are we good to go, then?”

  “How romantic, Mr. Sinclair,” I commented, wryly.

  “Baby, it’s been a total of seven weeks since I've been able to sink myself into you. I’m not thinking romance at the moment.”

  I looked up at him warily, not sure what his response was going to be when I presented my idea to him. “Will you consider something, and I mean really consider it, before answering?”

  He cocked an eyebrow, now looking at me warily, waiting for what I was about to spring on him. “Go on,” he urged.

  I sat up in order to face him squarely while we discussed this. At least I was hopeful that it would be open for discussion. “We're getting married in less than four weeks,” I started. “I was hoping that you'd be agreeable to abstaining from, well, from any form of sex until our honeymoon.”

  I blurted the last part out hurriedly; afraid I'd chicken out if I delayed the inevitable.

  “You've got to be fucking kidding me,” he practically screeched. “Why?”

  “I know you're probably thinking ‘what’s the point’ in doing this, I get that, but honey, I’m just asking for some semblance of tradition. I think it'll add so much more mystique and romance to the wedding and honeymoon. It’s just as rough on me as it is on you, believe me. . . Please, for me?”

  He was glaring at me in disbelief, but at least he wasn't shouting, nor had he given me a definitive ‘no.’ He raked both hands through his hair.

  Double raking - not a good sign.

  “Tylar, what exactly will that prove? I mean, I’m horny as hell for you right this minute. It seems like it's been months instead of weeks. Don’t you miss it?”

  “I just said I did. How could you think that it hasn’t been hard for me as well? I just want that feeling back like when it was our first time. Just a little bit of mystery because we're sort of ‘rediscovering’ ourselves on our honeymoon. I know it may seem ridiculous to you. If you say ‘no’ I won’t be mad or anything.”

  I knew that last part would really get to him. I was counting on it to at least.

  “What the hell? When you put it like that, I guess I'd be some uncouth caveman if I didn’t honor your request, now wouldn’t I?”

  “Are you angry?”

  “I’m just a bit disappointed. I’ll get over it.”

  He raised himself off of the bed, loosening his tie and unbuttoning his dress shirt to get into his sweats, which were his usual after-work garb.

  I went to the kitchen and prepared dinner. I broiled some steaks and made a salad. We ate in silence. I tried to strike up a conversation, asking about things at the office. Trey was giving me one or two word answers. This wasn't working. Halfway through dinner, I stood up, scraped my uneaten portion into the trash and went into the laundry room to check on the load of Preston’s clothing that I'd washed separately from ours.

  I was folding her clothes when Trey came in a few minutes later, his cell phone in hand.

  “Mom's on the phone,” he said. “She wants to talk to you.”

  What?

  Had he called his mother to complain about my requested abstinence until we marry? I took the phone, giving him an obvious glare in the process.

  “Hello,” I greeted, tentatively.

  “Hi there, Tylar,” Susan gushed, “How's my grandbaby doing? I bet she's grown a foot since Grandma left her,” she whined. I had to smile.

  “Not quite,” I replied, “but it does seem as if she changes just a little bit every day.”

  “Well, sweetie, I won’t keep you. I just wanted to finalize some of the arrangements as far as the music and caterers we’ve lined up. Do you have just a few minutes?”

  “Of course,” I answered, relieved Trey hadn't complained to her about my latest request. I should've known he wouldn’t run to Mommy. What had I been thinking?

  Susan and I discussed the arrangements with respect to the music and food. I'd absolutely put my foot down about having a huge, extravagant wedding since, in fact, the bride’s parents were supposed to foot the bill and that was a moot point for me. Trey and I insisted on covering the expense of it, even though Clive and Susan wanted to do it. The other reason was that I simply had no family to invite. We'd decided on close family and friends. Gina and Denise would be my attendants; Tristan was Trey’s best man; Ray was his groomsman.

  The wedding would be held over at the ‘Belle on the grounds of the mansion. The reception would be held close by in the area that was under a roof just for occasions such as that. We were going to have a formal sit-down dinner, with a live band that Ian had selected for us.

  Our ceremony was to be a sunset wedding so that the heat of July would've cooled down somewhat. Our vows would be exchanged on the enormous front porch of the mansion, while guest seating would be on the front lawn of the estate. Susan had arranged for the flowers and landscaping. She allowed no arguments there.

  Nigel and Tess would be attending, now that his divorce was final from Caroline. Thank God there would be no Caroline or Landon to deal with. I was secretly glad that Tess would be in attendance witnessing Trey’s declaration of love and commitment to me. Susan and I had wrapped up the details when she sprung a question that caught me a bit off guard.

  “Is everything alright between you and Trey, sweetie?”

  I stammered a bit, not sure what she already knew or what she simply suspected from talking to Trey and then me.

  “Honey, I’m not trying to nose into your business, but I'm a mother and I can tell that Trey seemed a bit dis
tracted and I'm picking up the same vibe with you. Is there anything you want to talk about?”

  “It’s just,” I stammered, flushing. This was the kind of thing I would've talked to my own mom about (had she been a normal ‘mom’ type.) But this was Trey’s mom and I wasn’t sure if confiding in her crossed some sort of boyfriend/girlfriend line or not.

  “Honey, tell me, unless you're not comfortable sharing it with me.”

  Damn, I didn’t want to hurt her feelings. The truth was, another opinion would be objective; right now, objectivity was what I needed.

  “It’s just that my doctor has cleared me physically to have, you know, to have ‘relations’ again.”

  God, this is so not easy.

  “Uh huh,” she said, seemingly unaffected by the content of our discussion so far.

  “So, anyway, I sort of suggested to Trey that maybe it'd be kind of romantic and traditional if we abstained until after the wedding…”

  “I see,” she replied, the amusement evident in her voice.

  “And my son wasn't pleased with this request, I take it?”

  “Not at all,” I replied.

  “Honey, I think this is a very reasonable request and I totally understand the spirit in which it was suggested. What you have to understand is that men don’t necessarily think along the same lines that we women do. I can’t tell you what the right thing is; I can tell you that what you’ve requested, in my opinion, isn't unreasonable. It’s up to you as to whether you can put up with his pouting for the next few weeks. I know Trey and I’m betting in the next few days you and he'll work something out together.”

  She was right; we needed to work it out together. Perhaps I needed to bring Trey into the fold regarding the family bed and use that as leverage so that we could work out some sort of a compromise. I got off of the phone with Susan, promising to e-mail her some recent pictures of Preston. I had the small basket of Preston’s clothes folded and headed down the hall to put them in her room.