Wilhelm was sunning himself at the cave entrance and opened a lazy eye at us as we climbed down from the cab. “What did ya’ do ya’ tall streak of shite, sit on your gun” he laughed at me.
“Ha fuckin ha, I had a run in with a Gorilla shifter” I handed him the gun. He shook his head.
“Easy fix” he said happy to have something to do.
“It wouldn’t have happened if the rifle was a semi-auto” I said hopefully.
He looked at me speculatively, “Might be possible, a custom mag use the air supply to drive the loader. I’ll think about it next time I’m on the shitter”
We had a lot in common we both thought deep thoughts when we went for a shit.
“Good man, also my apprentice needs a couple of hand cannons” I said.
“Sure thing, I’ll need an impression of her shooting hand, come over here girly” he said with a lecherous look at her tits.
Jules sighed loudly and followed him over to his work space. He handed her a square of putty and placed her hand around it “Now make a fist like your holding my cock, don’t squeeze too hard it’s delicate”
She rolled her eyes and he soon had an impression of her grip, he lasered it into his computer “So what calibres do you want?”
I put in my two cents worth “A 22 long for close up work, what did you use on the force a 38 snub?”
“Yeah I was pretty comfortable with that” she said starting to get into it.
“A 38 long barrel you ever fire a 45 babe?” I asked.
“Yeah the recoil was a bit much though” she had small wrists.
“Hey short arse just the 22 and the 38 for Jules, I’d like a 22/250 in case I decide to go fox hunting some time” he snickered at me “include suppressors and laser sights for all of them”
“Bill, why do you call them suppressors not silencers?” she asked.
It was good she was asking questions this was how we all learn shit.
“Silencer is what the stupid holly weird fuckers call them and it’s totally wrong. There is no such thing as a silent gun, the suppressor merely quietens the noise you can never completely silence it” I was using my teacher voice and picturing Jules in a catholic school girl uniform while I was doing it.
“Ok, I noticed that when we were at the range earlier” she said nodding her head.
“Oy girly” he pointed at me “you need to listen to this guy, he knows what he’s talking about. Must be all that special forces bullshit he lived through” Wilhelm said.
“Holy crap you were spec-ops?” she gasped.
“Yeah a long time ago in a galaxy far far away” I said smiling sadly. My feelings of that time were somewhat mixed.
We went back to the truck after bidding Wilhelm goodbye and home to look at our next job. I let Jules pin the pages to the wall then pulled her into my arms and rested my chin on her head. I started sliding my hand under her panties after I’d unbuttoned her jeans “What are you doing?” she was wriggling a bit.
“Shh, it helps me think” I said lying out of my arse.
She started panting after I slid her jeans own around her knees and inserted tab A into slot B “Are we going to do any work today?” as her breathing slowed and she slumped in my arms.
“If you insist” I studied the board while I played with her boobs.
“So another car bomb? Roxy told me about the last gangster you hit” she asked while she squirmed against me.
“Probably not, we’re not getting paid for the driver and these guys usually have a bunch of kids and I don’t like making orphans” I said.
“Ok, what are you thinking?” she was really getting into it now and was panting loudly.
“I’m thinking an old favourite, the toilet bomb gag” I said smiling at a fond memory.
“You have got to be kidding, why?” she asked.
“Firstly we need to search the house for the stolen cash, mobsters trust banks about as much as they trust each other or cops, secondly it’s really funny”
I pinned her to the wall and fucked her cross eyed once more then led her down to the armoury as soon as she could walk again.
I pulled out a block of C4 and worked it into a long thin strip about an inch wide. I inserted the detonators and attached a receiver/trigger mechanism near the end. Lastly I folded the end over to cover the mechanism which would destroy all the evidence when it detonated.
I laid it out on a strip of cling wrap and rolled it up so I could stuff it into my messenger bag. Next I pulled out a sack of thermite, some putty and fuse and shoved that in as well.
“What was that last stuff?” she asked still learning.
“That was thermite, it can burn through pretty much anything with minimal noise, so it’s perfect for opening reluctant safes” I replied.
“Cool, I’ve heard about that stuff” she said with eyes wide. “so when do we do the job?”
“Tomorrow night, I want tonight and tomorrow off to relax”
“Really, and how will you be relaxing” she asked with the old raised eyebrow.
I lifted her onto my workbench and pulled her pants down again so I could demonstrate my relaxation method.
Chapter Twenty One
Monday
We spent the day lazing around the pool with occasional trips to the range so Jules and Roxy could try out my new fifty cal.
I spent a couple hours in the garage stripping Jules old Bronco, getting it ready for a rebuild. I made sure to fit Jules new car with bug zapper alarm then made a list of parts I’d need then went down to start an early dinner. The mobster liked to hit the strip club early and we would want to be in position when he left to get his jollies.
After dinner we went up to the garage “Hey what the fuck happened to my Bronco?” she asked loudly.
“I’m rebuilding it for you, you’ll need an invisible car that goes like stink for some jobs” I said as pushed her into the surveillance van.
“Oh, cool, so huge engine and racing shocks?” she asked.
“Kinda, I’ll use the original engine but add a pair of turbo’s, a small one for the low revs and a larger one for when you open it up, the suspension will make it go round corners like it’s on rails” I said smiling, I really enjoy working on cars.
“Wow, I can’t wait, I’ve grown attached to that old car over the years” she was bouncing around in her seat in anticipation. I handed her a wrist computer so she could control her alarm and the ramp and showed her how to use it.
We arrived near the fat wog’s house an hour later and parked in a dark spot where we would likely go unnoticed. We climbed in back and I pulled Jules into my lap to wait in comfort. It was only a short while later that a stretch limo pulled up and honked its horn. I adjusted my awkward boner and slid back into the driver’s seat “Hey you old bastard, are you going to finish me off?” she shouted at me obviously a little put out at my abrupt departure.
“If you stop calling me names I’ll fuck you in the fat bastard bed later” I said, business before pleasure was the watchword. The fat bastard in question stepped out the front door a few seconds later and looked around carefully. He poured himself into the back of his limo and they drove off so he could jerk off under the table at the strip club.
Jules joined me in the front still grumbling quietly to herself as she straightened her clothes. I started the van and we drove over to park in his driveway. I took at least a minute to pick the lock on his front door as it was a high end lock but we were soon inside and I disabled the alarm with the backdoor code.
“Where did you get his code from?” Jules asked.
“It’s not his code, every alarm system has a manufacturer’s backdoor code so techs can disable the alarm when idiot homeowners forget theirs” I said.
“Are there a lot of them?” she asked.
“Shit tons, you’ll ne
ed to memorise at least the major ones, and keep a note book on you with the rest” I said.
“Crap, I hate trying to remember shit”
“All part of the job, don’t sweat it I’ll help you memorise them” I said.
“Ok what now?” she asked.
“You start searching for the money, we’ll split whatever you find fifty fifty, so look carefully, I’ll go set up the bomb and help when that’s done”
She squealed happily and fucked off to start rifling through his underwear draws. She was very easy to please. I hustled up the stairs and into his en suite bathroom. I pulled the C4 out of my bag and unwrapped it then I slipped it up under the rim and made sure it was completely concealed, I flushed the toilet to make sure it wasn’t going to fall out with the water, all good so I dumped the cling wrap back into my bag and took out a micro cam and a repeater/signal booster. The tiny cams had a limited range so needed a booster for the signal to reach the van.
I stuck the cam near the ceiling and hid the booster in a cupboard outside. Everything was ready I checked the cam on my tablet PC then went to help Jules search for our bonus.
I found Jules in the bedroom with her ear glued to the front of a large wall safe trying to open it with will power alone.
“What the fuck are you doing dumb arse?”
“Shh, I think I’ve nearly got it”
“Have you ever cracked a safe before?” I asked with a raised eyebrow.
“No, but I’ve seen it done in the movies heaps of times” she said frowning in concentration.
I gave her another ten minutes then pushed her out of the way so I could set up the thermite, she stood there pouting a bit till I told her “Go open all the windows, there’s going to be a lot of smoke, we don’t want him to know he’s been robbed”
A short time later while I was satisfying my apprentice on fatso’s bed the safe door hit the carpet, and we eagerly started to explore the safes contents. “Holy shit dude, look at all this shit” she squealed more than a little excited.
The safe was packed with cash, jewels and expensive watches. “See if you can find some luggage in the closet honey tits, I wasn’t expecting this much loot”
She came back shortly with a roller case and we started tossing everything inside. There was at least two million in cash and a huge amount of no doubt stolen jewellery, I couldn’t tell if the watches were stolen but I tried one on and showed my new bling to Jules.
“Ooh sexy” she said.
Jules helped me shove the safe door under the bed then we turned on some fans to clear out the last of the smoke. I pushed his classic dogs playing pool picture back over the large hole in the wall and looked around to check everything was as it was when we’d arrived. I grabbed a can of air freshener from the bathroom and gave the room a spritz.
We closed all the windows then buggered off downstairs to reset the alarm and into the van. I parked down the street again to wait for the greedy fucker to come home.
I figured we had at least an hour before he finished his strip club wank so made sure Jules was fully satisfied again. As she sat in my lap breathing heavily while I idly toyed with one of her nipples, the limo pulled into the drive.
Fatboy climbed out and went into his house, we waited for him to take a shit which he did about five minutes after he was inside. No one likes shitting away from home even more so when you’re in a skeazy strip club. I had my phone out ready and held it out to Jules, “Care to do the deed?” I asked.
As soon as he sat down she hit the button, his legs fell off and his lower body was stripped of flesh as it was blasted with shattered porcelain.
He quickly bled out on the floor of his toilet, and we drove quietly home. I decided to leave the camera and booster in place, if anyone found them they’d probably assume his boss was watching him.
“Dude that was really gross’ Jules said, I glanced over and saw she was a bit pale.
“Yeah but it was pretty funny though” I said smiling happily to myself.
“Your sick Bill” she said a little exasperated with me I could tell by her tone.
“Listen baby, you saw the job sheet, the client asked for bloody and painful, I think we were well inside the parameters for the hit”
She sighed “I suppose that’s true”
“Listen sweet cheeks, the clients are every bit as bad as the marks, if we’re lucky someone will put a hit on the client soon and we can finish the circle”
She sighed again and sat back in her seat, at home she brightened considerably when we started going through the suitcase she was holding a lovely diamond necklace against herself and smiling happily while I counted out the money into two piles.
“You do realise that’s probably stolen” I said, bursting her bubble.
“Crap” she pulled her laptop over and started typing “shit my passwords been removed”
“Try ‘copsarelovelypeople’ no spaces” I said.
“Fuck are you dialled into everything?” she asked as she stared exploring the stolen goods database.
“Joshua is one of the most talented hackers I’ve ever known, he sets up all my backdoor accesses”
“Double crap, it’s stolen, in fact all this shit is stolen” she sighed.
“Don’t worry about it sweety pie, my fence can rework it so it will be an original clean piece” then I remembered the bag of diamonds I’d scored a few weeks ago and pulled those out of a cupboard.
“What the fuck, where did these come from?” she was dribbling diamonds through her hand with her eyes bulging out of her face.
“Did you hear about the politician that tried wearing a safe for a hat?” I asked.
“Crap that was you? I had to help clean that mess up” she shouted at me.
“Oops my bad, I knocked over the diamond brokers the night before so I could set that up” I said with a grin.
“Wow, you really are a bastard aren’t you?”
“And then some” I said laughing happily.
“So I can have this piece?” she asked.
“Fifty fifty, like I said “pick out something nice for Roxy from my half would you”
She quickly split the jewels into two piles then pulled out the most expensive looking necklace from my pile. “This looks nice” she held it against her throat.
“I’m a generous bastard aren’t I?”
She smiled at me and said “Yes you are”
“Ok put those two in your handbag, it looks like we get one point two million in cash each, I’d keep a couple of hundred thou for walking around money and we can visit the bank in the morning to deposit the rest”
“Fucking hell Bill, two hundred thousand dollars as a purse stuffer. I never thought I’d be living this life” she said getting happier all the time.
“Word of advice it’s a good idea to have a safety deposit box with some running cash in it and a couple of fake passports as well”
“Erm I don’t have any fake passports”
“What, I’m shocked” I laughed at her “we’ll go see my forger in the morning” she came over and sat in my lap.
“You’re the best boss ever Bill” she said as we wrestled with our tongues.
We continued kissing as I carried her downstairs to bed.
Chapter Twenty Two
Tuesday
We found Roxy in the kitchen playing with my pile of jewels she held up a nice diamond and ruby bracelet and asked “Biiiiil”
I smiled at my conniving girlfriend “Give it to Jules, we’re visiting my fence later, he needs to rework all that stolen shit”
She jumped into my lap and made a grab for my cock, by the time she had finished me off it was a bit late to cook breakfast so we took our ill-gotten gains up to my Mustang and loaded up the trunk, we stopped off at the diner for one of their excellent pulled pork rolls and
then on to the bank. We had our cash in a bunch of shopping bags and were soon surrounded by eager flunkies keen to take charge of our money.
Jules acquired her deposit box and stuffed it with cash “You realise Mr Sampson that you currently have enough funds for that small tropical island you have always wanted”
I sighed “I’ve just taken on an apprentice, that dream will have to wait a couple of years till she’s properly trained”
“You have always been a responsible man, Mr Sampson” he smiled at me as his commission went out the window.
Next stop was the fence, I scoped out the street carefully, I didn’t think the cops knew about my guy but it always paid to be careful.
We carried our crap inside, as soon as he saw me he smiled and ushered us into the back room leaving his wife out front.
I spilled the diamonds on the felt covered table “I need separate prices for each of these piles” I said as dropped all the Jewellery into two more piles.
“You have been busy haven’t you Billy boy” he giggled happily seeing a good profit for himself on the table.
“Fuck all worth watching on tele” I smiled back at him.
“Listen It’s going to take a while to go through all this can I e-mail you later?”
“Of course, I trust you, you’ve always been fair with me” I reached into Jules purse and pulled out the three pieces for the girls “I need these reworked so they’’ pass inspection by the cops”
“Still trying to get laid” he laughed at me.
“Just let me know when I can pick them up, and have my cash ready when I get here” I said trying to be patient.
Our next stop was the forger, a seedy scared looking character called Fuck Knows, I doubt even he remembered his birth name.
We were out of there as soon as he had taken Jules photos and on our way home quite happy with our day out. I’d drop by in a couple of days and pick up the new documents then.
As soon as I parked in the garage Jules headed over to her Porsche, “Where are you going baby?”
“I have an overwhelming need to spend some of this cash” she replied, looking over her shoulder at me.
Assasins Code Page 9