Lost Without You (The Lost Series Book 2)

by Tracie Douglas

  “I don’t want to talk about it right now, but we’ve got to stop at Tatum’s apartment and get their shit. I’ve already placed a few calls and they’ll be in my custody first thing in the morning.”

  “I get you don’t want to talk about it right now, but you have to know Layla said this would happen.”

  “What do you mean?”

  “She said there’s no way you’d let them be with Tatum, not after what happened. She didn’t tell me what it was, but I got the sense she knows it’s bad.” He hangs is his and rubs his hand through his hair again. My tiny bit of information only confirms what he feared; his children weren’t blind to the actions of their mother.

  “Fucking Tatum.”

  *****

  We pull up into the apartment complex, but it isn’t much of a complex, just a cluster of small duplexes that share a common parking lot. I look around noticing one duplex taped off with police tape. I look over at Kingston, but it’s dark out and it’s hard to gauge his reaction right now.

  “Daddy, I thought we were going to live with you?” Layla’s sleepy voice asks from the backseat. I look over my shoulder at both children. Oliver looks pale and ashen, his gaze transfixed on the front door.

  “You are, baby girl,” he answers, turning to face them both.” Missy and I are going to go inside and get your stuff,” he explains softly. Oliver looks at his father with fear in his wide, brown eyes. His breath is fast and sharp. Kingston reaches back and rubs the little boy’s knee, trying to comfort him. “Is there anything you want me to get for you?”

  “Lambie.” Oliver’s voice is barely a whisper, and it’s the first time he’s uttered a single word since we arrived at the police station. My heart hitches in my chest as the urge to wrap my arms around him surges through me.

  “I’ll get him for you.” My voice sounds breathy, like I’m holding back torrid amounts of emotions. “You just stay here with your sister, and we’ll be back. I promise.”

  Kingston and I climb out of the truck, locking the doors and setting the alarm as we approach the front door of the dilapidated home they shared with their mother. I glance over at him and notice how tense his face is stretched. He looks back at the truck, hesitating.

  “Do you want me to sit with them?” I ask, sensing he doesn’t want to leave them alone. He shakes his head and reaches out to take my hand, pulling me through the police tape and onto the small concrete patio. He turns the knob of the door and pushes it open. Clearly, the police didn’t bother locking up after they were done here.

  As we step inside, our noses are assaulted instantly with the pungent scent of bad body odor and rotten food. I cough as the smell fills my lungs, making me want to vomit at my feet. Thankfully, there isn’t anything in my stomach to purge. We step into the apartment, and it’s unlike anything I have ever seen before.

  “Fucking Tatum,” Kingston growls angrily. His dark eyes assess the room, and I watch as his shoulders slump forward in shame. This is the home his children have been living in, and it’s absolutely disgusting.

  “This can’t be where they live.” I look around, unable to believe my eyes. There are piles of trash, dirty laundry, and dishes covering the floor, the couch, even the dining room table.

  “I haven’t been here in a long time,” he explains.” She always insists on dropping them off and picking them up at a meeting spot. If I had known this is what they’re living in…”

  “She didn’t want you to know, and it’s clear she did something to keep Layla and Oliver from telling you.” I offer, trying to wrap my head around why two of the most honest children I’ve ever met didn’t tell their father about the mess. Kingston steps further into the apartment, glancing down the dark hallway leading to the bedrooms. “How are we going to get through this mess?”

  “We’re not.” His gruff voice is short. He’s beyond anger. “We’re going to get the few pieces I know they wouldn’t want to leave behind and get the hell out of here. Tatum can deal with the rest after she gets out, if she gets out.”

  I nod in agreement. He pulls me down the hallway with him, and we brave the mess together. The first door he opens in the darkened house leads to Layla’s room, and I sigh in relief over its cleanliness.

  He takes the backpack hanging on the wall and begins to fill it. I look around, taking in the sight of the seven-year-old’s bedroom, and I’m surprised to see the lack of décor. If it weren’t for the pink bedspread and few toys spread around, I would never have guessed this is a little girl’s room. Nothing like the room she has at Kingston’s place.

  Summoning some courage, I turn and leave the room, deciding to help with Oliver’s things. Chancing the dirty hallway again, I try the door directly across from Layla’s. It is the bathroom. I cringe at the sight of it and quickly close the door, refusing to take a breath until I’m at least three steps away from it. My heart breaks for the thousandth time tonight for them. How they’ve survived in this mess is beyond me.

  I check the door next to Layla’s and quickly step into Oliver’s room. His favorite stuffed animal, Lambie, sits on top of a light blue pillowcase. I cross the room for it when something to my left catches my eye. A photo crinkled up in the corner. I reach over and pick it up, unfolding the creases. It’s a picture of Kingston, Layla, Oliver, and myself, taken at the last summer barbeque Kingston hosted.

  “He asked me to print that photo before we met up with his mom that evening.” Kingston’s voice comes from behind me as his arms wrap around my waist.

  “It’s a good picture,” I whisper softly. I turn in his arms and look into his dark eyes. “What happened, Kingston?”

  “Tatum’s in jail for possession and prostitution,” he states.” The kids were in the car, outside her pimp’s house, waiting for her to come out.”

  “You can’t be serious,” I gasp.

  “Apparently, Tate’s been hooked up to this guy for a while.” He closes his eyes, letting the guilt of his blind eye fill him.

  “Don’t you dare blame this on yourself,” I insist, cupping his face in my hands.

  “I thought she was being considerate, Queenie. I thought she was finally turning a leaf. Turns out she had ulterior motives, like usual.”

  “We all missed it, Kingston.”

  “But I’m their father. There’s no excuse for my neglect.” He pushes away from me and begins gathering more of Oliver’s things. As much as I want to be able to convince him otherwise, right now there isn’t anything I can say to help him. He has to be able to work through this himself, and when he’s ready, he’ll listen to me.

  He pulls me out of the room and out of the apartment when he’s done, not bothering with any other part of the house. He closes the door behind us without bothering to lock it and turns to me, pulling me into his arms.

  “Thank you,” he says before placing a gentle kiss on my lips. I don’t get a chance to respond, because just as quickly, he takes me by the hand and we load up into the truck. I watch as neither he nor the kids bother looking back; instead, they’re solely focused on the road in front of us.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Respectfully Theirs

  Kingston

  I walk into the living room after tucking the kids into their beds. Missy busied herself cleaning up the small mess we made during our quick dinner and bath time while I did it. I lean against the wall outside the kids’ bedrooms and can hear her putting away the dishes now.

  I drag a deep breath into my chest, releasing the pent-up frustration I’ve been feeling since the phone call earlier. It isn’t sexual frustration but rather the disappointment in Tatum, and most importantly, in me. If it weren’t for Missy by my side every step of the way, I don’t know how I would have fared through this mess.

  Discovering what my children have been going through day in and day out makes my stomach roll. How can a mother be so cruel? How could I be so blind to it?

  Tatum’s always been selfish but never when it came to the kids. At least that’s what
I believed up until a few hours ago. Now I know the truth, and I’ll be damned if I ever allow it to happen again.

  I meant what I said to Missy tonight. The kids will be mine as soon as Judge Harper steps foot into his chambers tomorrow morning. My plan is to strip Tatum of all custody and visitation rights. I don’t even want her to be able to look at the kids, let alone talk to them. She doesn’t know it’s happening, but even if she did, there isn’t anything she can do to stop it. Not even if she were a free woman.

  “Kingston?” Missy calls from the living room. I push off the wall and walk down the hall. I find her standing with her purse in hand. She tilts her head at the sight of me.

  “Where are you going?”

  “Home.” Her voice is soft, a bit unsure. I can see the war raging in her eyes. She doesn’t want to leave, but she feels like she should.

  “Why?”

  “With all that’s happened today, I think it would be best, at least until things settle down a bit.”

  “That’s not what you mean.”

  “I just think Layla and Oliver need some time to settle into this new life with you, and—”

  “Their new life includes you in it.”

  “Kingston—”

  “I told you, all in. No more games. No more running. You’re mine.” I fold my arms across my chest.” Now, get your sexy ass over here and kiss me.”

  “I’m being serious, Kingston. Your kids have been through a lot today. You’ve been through—”

  “If the next words out of your mouth are what I think they might be, you’re not going to like the situation you’ll find yourself in.” Her eyes flare at the open threat. She doesn’t know how badly I itch to spank her pretty ass pink. I think about it often but never more than in this moment. I get what’s she’s trying to do, but she’s part of all our lives now, and it’s best she gets used to it.

  “And what exactly would that be, Kingston?” she asks, placing her hands on her hips, cocking one to the side, challenging me. Fuck, I love it when she does that. I step toward her, taking her purse and tossing it across the room. “What are you doing?”

  “You want to know what I mean, Queenie, there’s only one way to find out. I dare you.” I flick my head over to where her purse landed, daring her to pick it up. She turns her head to look where it landed, contemplating her next move. “My palms have been itching all day to show you.”

  Her head swings back to me, eyes wide and nostrils flared. Her face flushes and her chest pumps the air a little quicker. I can see it in her eyes; she’s thinking about it, too, and her reaction is everything I could have hoped for.

  “Caveman.” The nickname sends a jolt through my body, and I groan, reaching for her. Her hands meet my chest and her green eyes focus on me, darkening with need.

  “Say the words,” I whisper against the milky column of her neck. Primal instinct takes over as her body shudders from the sensation of my tongue tasting her skin. “I dare you.”

  “This isn’t a good idea,” she murmurs, but her arms snake around my neck, pulling me closer.

  “It’s the best damn idea I heard all fucking day.”

  “The kids—”

  “Are asleep.” My hands caress the gentle curves of her body, and flashbacks of earlier dance in my head. Missy naked before me, my face buried in between her luscious thighs, coaxing her into oblivion with the gentle stroke of my tongue. The urge to taste her all over again consumes me. “Are you going to run?”

  “No,” she mews.

  “You’re mine. No more doubts. No more questions.”

  She pulls back suddenly. Her green eyes narrow on me and her hands push against my chest, creating space between us.

  “I’m not running. For the first time in a long time, I’m where I want to be.”

  “What is the problem, then?”

  “Your kids need you right now. I don’t want to get in the way of that.”

  “Do you love my kids?”

  “How can you ask me that? You know I do.”

  “They need you as much as they need me. They need a good woman in their life, someone who isn’t going to let them down and break their hearts. They need a woman who will show them what unconditional love and support is. They need you.”

  “Kingston,” she sighs. Her fingers trace circles into the hard lines of my chest as she contemplates what I said.” I need them, too, but I don’t want to put them through anymore pain. They don’t even know we’re together.”

  “They know you were with me to pick them up. They know you were there to comfort them while I took care of shit. They know you wouldn’t have been there for all of that if you weren’t important to me.”

  “They mean a lot to me. I don’t want to do anything to hurt them.”

  “You’re it for me, Queenie. No one’s hurting anyone anymore.” She nods her head before wrapping her arms around my waist and burying her face in my chest. My lips touch the top of her head, inhaling her scent into my lungs. “From this night on, you’re in my bed and I’m never letting you leave it again.”

  Chapter Twenty

  Ruined

  Anonymous

  Ruined.

  It’s all fucking ruined.

  The rain was falling.

  falling,

  falling.

  My plan was perfect.

  He ruined it,

  ruined it.

  She ruined it,

  ruined it.

  They fucking ruined it!

  I watched him touch her,

  and she moved against him,

  completely unashamed.

  Wantonly.

  Slut.

  Fucking cunt.

  She let him touch her.

  No one is supposed to touch her.

  She’s my fucking slut.

  My fucking cunt.

  Ruined.

  She fucking ruined it.

  Her green eyes closed as his hand slid inside her pants.

  She wanted it,

  to cum around his fingers.

  I watched as her face transformed into bliss.

  I still see her face,

  when I close my eyes.

  It should have been me.

  Touching her,

  teasing her,

  making her cum.

  The rain was perfect,

  perfect.

  The scene was set.

  She ruined it,

  ruined it.

  The dumb cunt ruined it.

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Investigations

  Kingston

  I step out of the judge’s chambers with the court order in my hand. The kids are mine, and Tatum can’t do a damn thing about it. It’s a great feeling, knowing I’ll get to see their bright smiles every morning and I’ll be the one to tuck them in each night. It should have been like this from the beginning, but I was a damn fool believing they were better off with their mother.

  I climb into my truck and pull out my cell phone, dialing Max’s number. My kids might be done with their mother, but I still need more detail about what shit Tatum was involved in so it doesn’t blow back on the kids or me. He picks up after the first ring.

  “Sneaky’s my game and just happens to be my name,” he raps into the phone. I shake my head, smirking over his ability to make me laugh even though my world is a chaotic mess.

  “Max, I need you to pull up whatever you can on Tatum.”

  “Is the bitch barking up that tree again?”

  “No, thank fuck, but she did land herself behind bars last night,” I tell him, thinking about everything the detective told me about her. “They picked her up last night at some pimp’s house. Apparently, they’ve had her under surveillance for some time and she’s been dealing and hooking it the last few months.”

  “You’ve got to be kidding me?” he groans, understanding the gravity of the situation. “Where are the kids? Are they okay?”

  “Missy and I picked them up last night at a precinct i
n Portland. Layla gave them my number and they called me instead of involving CPS. Thankfully, I’ve worked with a few of them in the past, so my reputation was known.”

  “Jesus...What the fuck was she thinking?”

  “That’s not the worst part. Missy and I took them by their place to get their shit.” I take a deep breath, remembering the filth my children have been living in. “It was bad, Max. I can’t describe the filth. It was like she hasn’t bothered cleaning anything in a long time.”

  “Shit...”

  “Got a few of the kids’ must-haves and took off.”

  “Missy was with you?”

  “Yeah, she got a flat yesterday morning—fuck, that reminds me to call Donnie about the bill.” I quickly jot down a note on a piece of yellow sticky paper. “She was with me when I got the call.”

  “You guys patch that shit up finally?” Max has always known about my feelings for her. He and my father always pushed me to find a way to reconcile with her.

  “What the fuck you talking about? There was nothing to patch.”

  “Don’t bullshit me, bro. Something’s off between you two, has been since she stayed at your place after the break-in. We all noticed something was off, especially because you two avoid each other like the fucking plague.”

  “It’s patched.”

  “Good, Dad will be happy to hear it.”

  “Shut the fuck up, Max, and leave Dad out of this.” I take a deep breath and switch my phone to the other ear.

  “You know, Mom’s going to kill your ex-wife when she finds out about this shit. Hell, I want to lay the bitch out myself.”

  “Don’t worry. She isn’t going to see the light of day for a long time.” I shake my head, dreading the call I know I’ll get from my mother by the day’s end.

  “She better not.” My brother loves his niece and nephew, so I have no doubt he’ll do what needs to be done to make sure Tatum stays put. “If there is anything I can do to help with Layla and Oliver, let me know. Those kids mean the world to this family.”