by Todd, E. L.
I leaned toward Elisa’s ear. “Put your kids inside,” I whispered.
Ethan stared at us but said nothing.
“Go inside,” I said with a clenched jaw.
He walked inside the house with Sadie trailing behind him. She flashed me a worried expression before she went through the door.
“Jared, let me explain—”
“Shut the fuck up!”
She stepped back. That was smart.
I closed the gap between us and got in her face. “First, I try to give you the best birthday ever, something I’ve never done for anyone else. I had your goddamn kids make you birthday presents and I cooked for you. I don’t know how to cook, but I did it for you. Then you break my heart and reject my love. Does sleeping with me mean nothing to you?” Spit flew from my mouth as I yelled at her. I was so mad that I could have punched my fist through a vault. “We agreed that if we slept together everything would change—it would be you and me. Were you just lying?”
“No, I—”
“Stop talking,” I snapped. “I don’t give a shit about your answer. It’s just a lie anyway.” I glared at her before I continued. Her eyes started to shine with unspent tears. “When you apologized to me, I forgave you because I love you so fucking much, but I shouldn’t have done it. You obviously aren’t ready for a commitment. You’ve never been. I told you how I felt about you but you just slept with me because you were horny. You never actually cared for me.”
“That isn’t true—”
“How many times do I have to tell you to shut up?”
She fell silent.
“Then you go to dinner with your family—your brothers—and purposely keep me away. You obviously don’t love me enough to introduce me to them. I thought we were serious, Elisa—a team. I take care of you and your kids, I sleep with you every night, and I love you. But I wasn’t good enough to meet your family. You’ve obviously been using me.” I ran my fingers through my hair so I wouldn’t punch anything. “And you fucking lied to me—lied to me. You obviously have no respect for me. I thought we loved each other—” I paused. Now I knew it wasn’t true. “You’ve never told me that you loved me,” I said to myself. I felt stupid. For some reason I thought she said it but she never did. “You’ve never loved me.”
A tear fell from her eyes and she clutched her body tightly, listening to me.
I shook my head. “You’ve never loved me,” I said with a laugh. “God, I’m so stupid.” It wasn’t funny but I was laughing. I clutched my head for a moment. “Uh. I even introduce you to my dad. You were the first girl I brought home and it was a complete mistake.”
She started to cry, tears dripping down her face.
I finally looked at her again. “I’m done with you, Elisa. I love you and would have spent the rest of my life trying to make you happy, helping you live again, but I deserve better than this. You may be better than me, beautiful and amazing, but I’m not putting up with this bullshit.”
She wiped her tears away but kept crying. “Jared, please listen to me.”
“Have a good life.”
“No, please don’t go.” She grabbed my arm.
I jerked away and glared at her. “I don’t want you, Elisa. I’m sick of your bullshit. We could have taken this as slow as you wanted but you wanted to sleep with me—you. I would have waited forever. I never want to see you again.”
She sobbed. “No, please don’t go. I’m sorry about everything. I was wrong. Please.”
I shook my head then walked past her.
“Jared!”
I ignored her.
“I love you!”
I stopped in my tracks. Anger that I’ve never felt coursed through my veins in pounding waves. My heart snapped into pieces at her words. I was livid, crazy, and insanely pissed. I turned around and marched up to her. “How dare you say that to me!”
She stepped back.
“That’s convenient that you decide to tell me this now. That’s so low, Elisa. I hate you.” She closed her eyes and averted her gaze. “You don’t understand how much I hate you. You didn’t just break my heart. You never appreciated anything I did for you. I did everything I possibly could to make you happy. Good luck finding someone to put up with your baggage, your bullshit, your kids, and your lies. Fuck off.” I turned and walked away.
She walked behind until she reached me. “Please, Jared. Don’t do this. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry.” I kept walking and ignored her. “I mean it. I love you. You’re completely right, Jared. My behavior has been unacceptable, but I’ll do anything to keep you. I’ll change. Please.”
When she kept following me, I stopped. “Go home, Elisa.”
“Not without you.”
I grabbed her by both arms. “Now!”
The tears fell from her eyes. “No.”
I didn’t want her anymore but I could let her follow me, walk alone on the sidewalk. I didn’t want her to be scared in the dark and I didn’t want anything to happen to her. I grabbed her arm and marched her to the front door.
“Jared, I love you so much.”
“No, you just love my cock and my attention,” I snapped.
“It isn’t like that.”
I came to the front door and opened it. “Go inside,” I whispered. My voice was still deadly.
“Not without you.”
I tried to push her in but she wouldn’t budge.
I picked her up and carried her over the threshold. Ethan was standing in the doorway, staring at me with a worried expression. “Don’t let her follow me,” I said as I put her down. “It’s not my job to protect her anymore.”
“Jared! Please don’t leave me. I’m sorry about everything.”
“I hope you treat the next one better.” I glared at her before I left and slammed the door behind me.
13
“If you’re calling me to discuss Elisa, then just hang up,” I snapped. “And if you say her name, I’ll hang up.”
Sadie said nothing for a moment. “Uh—how are you?”
“Fine,” I snapped.
“You wanna get something to eat?”
“I have a date.”
“What?”
“I said I have a date.”
“With who?”
“A girl.”
“Isn’t it a little early to be dating?”
“Wasn’t it a little early for her to lie to me?”
“Since you mentioned her, can I talk about her now?”
“No,” I snapped.
She sighed. “Jared, please give her a chance.”
I hung up.
She called me back.
“What?”
“Don’t hang up on me.”
“Don’t talk about her.”
“When can I talk about her?”
“I never want to discuss her again.”
She sighed.
“You’re my fucking sister. You are supposed to be on my side.”
“I am.”
“It doesn’t sound like it.”
“Well, I am. I think Elisa was wrong, but I also understand it.”
“That’s like saying Ethan cheated on you, and even though it was wrong, I understand it.”
“Not the same thing at all. Elisa didn’t cheat on you.”
“She still betrayed me.”
“And she was wrong for that.”
“But?”
“She’s just scared, Jared.”
“No! She’s just never seen me as a serious boyfriend. I was just there to sleep with her and make her feel better about herself.”
“So it’s really over?”
“That wasn’t clear? Don’t you want me to be with someone who actually loves me?”
“Of course I do.”
“Then you should hate her as much as I do.”
“You don’t hate her.”
“Yes, I fucking do.”
“You’re a horrible liar.”
“So is she.”
“Jar
ed, you really loved this girl.”
“And she didn’t love me.”
“I think she does.”
“Do you want me to hang up again?”
“No.”
“Then knock it off.”
“I want to see you.”
“No.”
“You can’t hide forever.”
“Leave me alone, Sadie.”
“Does Dad know?”
I was quiet for a moment. “No. Can you tell him for me?”
“Are you sure you want me to? Maybe I should wait.”
“No, don’t wait. She and I are done.”
“Okay,” she said quietly.
I heard a knock on the door. “I have to go.”
“Okay.”
“Bye.”
“Jared?”
“What?”
“I love you and I’m on your side.”
I took a deep breath. “I love you too.”
“Bye.”
I hung and returned the phone to my pocket.
I went to the door and answered it. I had a date with Layla, the girl I met at the bar, but I was supposed to meet at her place. She didn’t even know where I lived.
When I saw Elisa on the other side of the door, I felt the anger return. I didn’t want to see her. We hadn’t spoken in a week. I would let myself think about her. “What?”
She tucked her hair behind her ear. She looked beautiful like usual. She wore a black cardigan that clung to her body. The necklace I got her hung around her neck. “Can we talk for a second?” Her voice was weak.
“There’s nothing to talk about. Now go away.”
“Please,” she begged. “Just give me a minute.”
“It won’t change anything.”
“Please.” She stared at me with wide eyes.
“Hurry. I’m on my way out.”
“Can I come in?”
I ignored her question.
“You’re right. I didn’t treat you right and I regret it. I didn’t invite you to my birthday dinner because I was scared about how serious we had become. I lied to you because I didn’t want to hurt your feelings. When I broke up with you, I was just scared—I love you so much and it makes me feel guilty.”
I said nothing for a moment. “Or you were never serious about me and you always wanted to keep me as your dirty little secret.”
“Not at all, Jared.”
“If you weren’t ready then why did you act like you were?? I would have understood all of that if we hadn’t moved forward. You made me believe that you loved me when you didn’t. I thought we were serious together. You’ve never been serious about me. You’ve never wanted me.”
“Jared, I love you so much. I slept with you because I loved you. You’re right. We shouldn’t have done that since I haven’t overcome the guilt I feel, but I want to be with you. I don’t want this to end.”
“You lied to me.”
“I was going to tell you the truth when I saw you.”
“I’m sure,” I said sarcastically.
“It’s true.”
“Coming from the queen of liars.”
She started to cry and wiped her tears away. I watched for a moment without any pity. When I saw her alone in the hallway, I got angry again.
“You came here by yourself? What the hell were you thinking?” I grabbed my jacket then walked out the door. “I’ll take you home but don’t come back here. I mean it.” When I turned down the hall, I saw Ethan leaning against the wall.
“She asked me to bring her here,” he said.
I said nothing for a moment. “Well, that makes up for everything,” I said sarcastically.
Ethan ran his fingers through his hair as he looked me. “Elisa was wrong for what she did. I admit it and she admits it. But please give her another chance. You love her and she loves you.”
I laughed. “Wow. Talk about a 180.”
He didn’t laugh or smile. “Jared, please give her another chance. The situation is complicated and you know it.”
Elisa looked at me. “I was wrong and I’ve changed. It won’t happen again. I’m ready to commit to you in every way. I—I just made a mistake. I love you, Jared.”
I didn’t look at her. “No.”
Ethan sighed. “Don’t do this. I know you love her.”
“That wasn’t enough then and it isn’t enough now.”
Elisa grabbed my arm. “Please, Jared. I don’t want you to leave.”
“I’m already gone,” I whispered. I pulled my arm away. “Excuse me. I have a date.”
Elisa dropped her arm then covered her face. She started to sob as she stepped away. “A—date?”
I didn’t say anything.
She sobbed quietly to herself.
“Goodbye,” I said. “Don’t bother me ever again.”
Ethan grabbed me. “Don’t do this.”
I pushed him back. “You were always riding my ass about hurting your sister but I treated her with nothing but respect and love. I put her on a pedestal and treated her like a fucking goddess, and you have the goddamn nerve to expect me to put up with her bullshit? What about me? She ripped my heart out of my chest, broke up with me, lied to me, and you expect me to just let that go?” He said nothing. “If the situations were reversed, you would beat the shit out of me. And you definitely wouldn’t let her give me another chance. So as your brother-in-law, give me that same respect.” I turned away then walked down the hallway. I took the stairs two at a time until I reached the street. I pushed the thought of Elisa to the back of my mind. She and I were done. I wasn’t going to waste my time thinking about her.
When I arrived at Layla’s apartment, I plastered a smile on my face and pretended everything was fine.
“You look great,” I said as she opened the door. She was wearing a tight fitting dress that fit her body perfectly.
“Thanks. You do too.”
“Are you ready?”
“Yes.”
We left then walked down the sidewalk. She was wearing a jacket that reached her knees but she still looked cold. I took off my jacket and wrapped it around her shoulders. She smiled at me as we walked. I didn’t put my arm around her or touch her.
When we arrived at the restaurant, we sat by the window. She looked beautiful as she stared at me. I could tell she was seriously interested in me by the way she was looking at me.
“Have you finished all your Christmas shopping?” she asked.
“Yeah. Have you?”
“I always do mine on black Friday.”
I shivered. “That sounds horrible. People actually die doing that.”
She laughed. “I always bring my bullet proof vest and my gun.”
I laughed. “At least you take it seriously.”
“Yeah.”
“So, where do you work?”
“I’m a bartender.”
“Oooh. I like bars. You’ll have to make me a drink.”
“I could make you something special.”
“I look forward to it. As long as you don’t get me drunk.”
“I can’t promise anything,” she said with a wink. “So what do you do?”
“I work on Wall Street.”
“Wow.” I heard her ovaries pop. “That’s impressive.”
I shrugged. “It’s alright.”
“So you must be smart.”
“You would think.”
“You’re humble. I like it.”
I didn’t say anything.
“I’m surprised a catch like you is single.”
I immediately thought of Elisa but then I pushed the thought to the back of my mind. “Not everyone thinks I’m a catch.”
“I seriously doubt that.”
I said nothing.
She reached across the table and ran her fingers over my knuckles. “So tell me something.”
“What do you want to know?”
“Did you just want to sleep with me, or did you want something more with me?”
&nb
sp; “I don’t think I know you well enough to choose.”
“Well, I’m down for either one.”
I felt my skin prickle.
“Does that help you choose?”
I cleared my throat. “Same question.”
She smiled. “I would like something more.”
“But you don’t know me.”
“I know enough.” She continued to stroke my hand.
When the waiter came to our table, I was relieved. We ordered before he walked away and it was only a few minutes later when he returned with our glasses of wine.
She took a big drink from it. “You have good taste.”
“Thank you.”
“Maybe we should take a bottle back to my place.”
“Sure.” I leaned back in my chair then looked out the window.
“What are you thinking about?”
“How long your legs are.”
“I can show you.”
“Are you always this forward?”
“No. I just really like you.”
“You’re lucky I’m such a gentleman.”
“Or unlucky.”
I smiled. I liked her wit.
“So have you ever been married?”
“No. Have you?”
“No.”
“Then why do you ask?”
“I thought you might be divorced since you’re single.”
“No.”
“Have any kids?”
“No. Do you?”
“No.”
I drank from my wine while I stared at her.
“What do you like for breakfast?”
I raised an eyebrow.
“Just answer the question.”
“Uh—pancakes, bacon, and eggs.”
“I’ll make it tomorrow.”
I almost spit out my wine. I somehow managed to get it down. Her smile widened as she looked at me.
“You interested?”
“Uh, yeah.”
“Good.”
The waiter brought our food and we started to eat. Our conversation turned to television shows and music. Her favorite movie was the Godfather, which surprised me. I wondered what Elisa’s favorite movie was. She told me that she used to play the guitar and she was quite good. That was impressive. It turned out that we went to the same gym even though I had never seen her there before. She was cute, funny, outgoing, and cool. I couldn’t find a single flaw in her.