Passion & Lies (Undercover Love Series Book 4)

by Michelle Iannarelli

  “He blew up at me and then Miguel. That’s why he left.”

  “Oh, Alex, I’m so sorry. This is all my fault.”

  “Miguel and I don’t blame you.”

  “I should have told him. I guess deep down I was afraid that he would react like this.”

  “I honestly think Dane will come around.”

  “I’m not sure that I want him to. I mean yes, I do, but I don’t want him to decide to step up and be a father out of obligation. I want him to want his child because he loves her.”

  “HER!”

  Lacey smiled. “Yes, they said it’s a girl but I haven’t said it out loud in case she comes out a he.” Lacey laughed. “Molly would be devastated if the wee one is hiding a wee one.” Lacey and Alex both let out a laugh.

  Alex hugged Lacey. “It’s all going to work out. I promise.”

  “Yeah.” Lacey nodded.

  Dane walked into the bar and dropped down onto a bar stool. “Give me a bottle of Jameson and a glass.”

  “Rough day?”

  Dane looked at the bartender. “One of the worst.”

  The bartender put down the glass and the bottle. Dane reached for the bottle but the bartender grabbed it back. “Let me open it for you.”

  Another reminder that he only had use of one hand. “Thanks, Man.” Dane looked down at his hand. Then he tried to move his fingers. His ring finger and pinky had regained feeling but wouldn’t move no matter how hard Dane tried to get them to.

  “Is this seat taken?”

  Dane turned around and looked at the woman standing there staring at him like she wanted to devour him. “It’s free, but I’m not.”

  The woman’s mouth dropped open. Clearly she was not expecting Dane to be so rude. She rolled her eyes and walked off in a huff.

  Lacey put Molly to bed and then sat down in the living room for her nightly cry. Having another child was something she had wished for but under these circumstances it wasn’t the happiest of times like it should be.

  Lacey rubbed her belly and the baby kicked. “Your mommy loves you.” The baby kicked again. Lacey thought back to when Molly was born and how happy her and Dirk were. Now she was alone and Dane didn’t want anything to do with his daughter.

  Lacey laid her head back and let the tears roll down her cheeks. She reached for a tissue and there was a thud at her door. She got up, grabbed her phone and walked quietly over to the door.

  “You in there, Lacey?”

  Lacey closed her eyes. Dane was the last person she was expecting. She put her hand on the door knob and then she let go. Lacey started to walk away from the door but then Dane knocked. “Lacey, I know you’re in there. Please open the door.”

  Lacey exhaled and then she opened the door. “Please keep your voice down, Molly is asleep and I’d like to keep it that way.”

  “Lacey, I’m sorry that I blew up at you earlier.”

  “I should have told you sooner and I didn’t. Apology accepted. You can leave now.”

  Dane reached out his hand and grabbed Lacey’s. “I want to help with it…uhh…the baby.”

  Lacey rubbed her stomach. “As I said, I don’t need your help. I can take care of my daughter myself.”

  “It’s a girl?”

  “I haven’t told Molly yet so please don’t tell anyone else.” The baby kicked. “Ohh.” Lacey grabbed her side.

  “Are you ok?”

  “She’s a kicker.”

  “A kicker?”

  Lacey took Dane’s hand and placed it onto her belly. “Give her a minute.”

  The baby kicked, Dane’s eyes opened wide and he pulled his hand away. “My God.” Dane dropped down onto his knees, pushed up Lacey’s blouse and kissed her belly.

  “Dane!”

  Dane continued to kiss Lacey’s belly as he caressed it with his hand. “I don’t know how to do this. I’m too fucked up…”

  Lacey could feel Dane’s tears against her belly. She reached her hand down and stroked his hair away from his eyes. “You’re not fucked up, Dane, you’re just scared.”

  “My mother would lock us in our rooms so she could have men over and drink and my father would wake us up after a night of drinking just to beat us.”

  Lacey knelt down onto the floor and hugged Dane. “I’m so sorry.” Her heart broke for him.

  Dane pulled away. “I felt that! I felt the baby kick my hand.”

  Lacey touched Dane’s hand. “Can you move your fingers?”

  Dane tried to move his fingers. “It hurts.” Dane smiled. “It hurts!” Dane was so excited. He kissed Lacey.

  Lacey kissed him back and before she had time to think about what she was doing they were on the floor having sex.

  Miguel sat in his office reading through all the files that Beck messengered over to him.

  “Are you coming to bed?”

  Miguel glanced up at Alex and then back down again. “I’ll be up soon. I want to finish reading through this first.”

  Alex sat down on Miguel’s desk. “Honey, I know that you want to bring down this Smitts guy, but for an agency you don’t technically even work for, you are allowing it to consume you.”

  “Alex, I just can’t let it go after what he did to Dane and Jakey.”

  “I know how much you care about them.”

  Miguel raised his hand up and held Alex’s. “Why don’t you go on up and get ready for bed and I’ll be up in ten minutes.”

  “Ok.” Alex kissed Miguel before she headed upstairs.

  Dane could feel the baby kicking against his body as he held Lacey in his arms. “I think we got her all riled up.”

  “She’s quite the kicker.” Lacey rubbed her belly.”

  “Lacey, I want to try.”

  “Try?”

  “To be…a parent.”

  “Dane, are you saying that because you’ve been drinking?”

  “No. I think I already knew that before I started drinking.”

  “What made you change your mind?”

  “I wouldn’t feel right if I didn’t.”

  Lacey sat up. “So you want to try to be a parent out of obligation? To make you feel…right?” Lacey felt hurt. She regretted having sex with him. “I think you should leave.”

  “Lacey, I’m really trying here.”

  “Trying! You shouldn’t have to try, Dane, not if it’s what you truly want.” Lacey stood up and started dressing.

  Dane sat there. He wasn’t sure what he should do or say at this point. Deep down maybe he didn’t want to try. “Maybe you’re right.” Dane grabbed his jeans and struggled to get them on with his one hand.

  “Let me help you.”

  “You don’t have to.” Dane stepped back.

  Lacey looked at Dane as he struggled both physically and mentally. “Dane, I would never keep you from you daughter, I hope you know that.”

  Dane stepped into his boots and reached for his phone. “She’s probably better off without me fucking up her life too.”

  “Do you think that’s how I feel? That you fucked up my life?”

  Dane looked away. “I do.”

  “Dane, I’d be lying if I said the situation was ideal but I already love this baby and no matter what happens she was conceived with a man that I love. I have no regrets.”

  Love. Lacey said that word again. “I’ll have my lawyer draw up some papers and set up a bank account for you…”

  “We don’t need your money.”

  “Fine, then don’t use any on yourself but she’s my daughter and it’s my duty to support her.”

  “Duty! As in obligation?”

  “As in I’m a fucked up man, Lacey! I don’t know how to care about someone. Shit, I don’t even care about myself. You’re better off without me and so is she.”

  “Dane.”

  “I don’t have anything else to offer you except for money.”

  Lacey walked over to Dane and placed her hand on his chest over his heart. “You have this. Whether you haven’t truly f
igured it out yet or you’re in denial, I know that you love me…us, and Molly.”

  “Even if I did…then what?”

  “Then we find a way to make it work…together.”

  Dane’s head was spinning. He wanted to try to be a father to his child but could he really do it without fucking up her life and Lacey’s. “What if I’m like my parents?”

  “You’re not.”

  “How do you know? I’ve spent my life alone not caring about anyone including myself. Lacey, I kill people…”

  “Dane, stop it. You say it as if you walk around murdering people for fun. Alex, Miguel and I have talked at length about you being a sniper, and while you may kill people, it is to save the innocent ones.”

  Dane looked down at his hand. “I think this is God’s way of punishing me for those that I’ve killed.”

  Lacey placed her hand on Dane’s cheek. “God works in mysterious ways but not like that.”

  “Then why my trigger fingers and hand?”

  “Maybe so that it wasn’t your head or your heart? Dane, you’re still here breathing and your hand in time will heal.”

  “What if it does heal then what?”

  “That’s up to you.”

  “You said before that you couldn’t handle me picking up and leaving at a moment’s notice or worrying as to whether or not I’d make it back home.”

  “That’s true but before it was just me…now no matter what, you’re my baby’s father and I can’t just forget you exist and move on.”

  “So if I didn’t knock you up then we wouldn’t even be having this conversation because you would have already written me off?”

  “Dane, baby or not, I don’t think I ever could have forgotten you. I love you.”

  “I have to go. I need some time to think.”

  “Dane…”

  “I’ll call you in a few days.” Dane walked out.

  Lacey rubbed her belly. “No matter what, your mommy loves you.”

  DANE GRIMACED AS THE physical therapist moved his fingers. The pain was intense but he was so happy to have feeling that he wasn’t about to complain.

  “Mr. Carlton, can you try to move your thumb.”

  Dane looked down and tried to get his thumb to move but he couldn’t. “I can try but it’s not happening.”

  “Ok, not today but maybe tomorrow.” The therapist smiled. “How about your index finger.”

  “That one moves.” Dane wiggled his finger.

  “How much pain on a scale of one to ten with ten being the highest do you have when you move that finger?”

  “An eight.”

  “Ok, let’s try the middle finger now.”

  “It feels like it wants to move but it can’t. The thumb feels different like there is some resistance.”

  The therapist gently pressed her palm against Dane’s finger. “Can you feel me pushing?”

  Dane nodded. “Yes.”

  “Push back.”

  “I can’t.”

  Dane’s whole hand shook. He tried so hard to push back. Finally, his finger moved. “I did it!” Dane amazed himself.

  “Pain tolerance?”

  “A twenty but so worth it.”

  “Want to stop for today?”

  “No. I want to do as much as I can.”

  “Next.”

  Dane wiggled his ring finger with no problem at all. “Why does that one move so easy?”

  “The thumb is an injury all on its own. The index and middle finger share a plate in your hand; the middle finger has a screw as well. These last two weren’t damaged as badly.”

  Dane wiggled his pinky. “That shot a pain up to my elbow.”

  “That’s good news. It means that your nerves are regenerating and the healing process has begun.”

  “How long before I’ll be back at work?”

  “What do you do?”

  “Field work for the government.”

  “So I’m guessing it’s a dangerous kind of job?”

  “Only some days.”

  “Is this how your injury occurred?

  “I can’t really discuss my job.”

  “Ok.” The therapist looked a bit frightened almost as if she was afraid that Dane was going to kill her.

  “Hey, don’t be afraid. I’m one of the good guys. I’m not going to hurt you.”

  “I’m sorry. I guess my mind raced a bit for a moment.”

  “I was a Marine.”

  “My dad was in the Army.”

  “So uhh, how long before you think I can shoot a gun?”

  “If I give you my honest opinion do you promise not to shoot me?”

  “Yes, I promise.”

  “If you work very diligently you may be able to hold a gun in about two months. I cannot foresee you being able to have the strength to fire it or use anything larger than a handgun for possibly four months.”

  “If I work day and night…”

  “If you don’t listen to me you will make matters worse not better.”

  “Ok. You’re the boss lady.”

  “Let’s ice you up a bit before I work on that thumb.”

  Dane sat back and exhaled. All he wanted was to be able to go after Smitts and make him pay for what he did to him and Jakey.

  “Alex, I can’t believe I allowed myself to melt like a snowball in hell when Dane kissed me.”

  “Lacey, you love him. It’s normal that you’d turn into slush.” Alex giggled.

  “He was a mess and then he felt the baby kick against his hand and when he realized that he had feeling in his hand it turned into a celebration to say the least.”

  “So now what?”

  “He said he needed time to think and he left.”

  “Think about what?”

  “I don’t know. We were discussing him not wanting to settle down and me not wanting to be with someone who couldn’t.”

  “I really thought that having a child would turn him around.”

  “I guess not.”

  “Lacey, I think he’s just adapting to everything that’s happened these last few weeks. I also think he’s scared.”

  “Maybe.”

  “Miguel and I are always here for you and we’re not going anywhere.”

  “Thank you.”

  “You don’t have to thank me; you are family now.”

  Lacey hugged Alex.

  Miguel grabbed his briefcase, opened the door and Miles and Jakey were standing there. “Hey!”

  “You’re going to want to come with us.”

  Miguel looked at Miles. “What’s up?”

  “Simmons agreed to meet us at your house.”

  “When did this come about?”

  “About two minutes ago when he called and said that he was in town and we needed to talk.”

  “Why my house?”

  “Because yours is the only one that has a secure place to talk freely.”

  “Jakey, come with me. Miles, swing by and pick up Dane. He is going to want to talk to Simmons.”

  “You’re right. I’ll grab him and be right over.”

  “Keep that hand wrapped unless you’re icing it or doing your finger exercises.”

  “Yes, Ma’am.”

  “By the way, you didn’t trick me any by lying and telling me that it had been five weeks since your accident. I can tell that you’re not ready to start therapy yet but I know that if I don’t help you that you’ll only damage yourself further.”

  “Patience is not a virtue I possess.”

  “Do as you’re told and I promise you I’ll get that hand moving.”

  “I promise.” Dane opened the door and walked his therapist, Jenna outside.

  “See you tomorrow.”

  Dane waved and as he turned to go back inside his house he saw Miles pull up.

  Miles got out of the car and ran up Dane’s walk. “I came to pick you up. Simmons is on his way to Miguel’s.”

  “What’s going on?”

  “None of us are sure but Mig
s said to pick you up and meet them there.”

  “I just need to grab my phone and keys.”

  “Jakey is with Migs.”

  “Did Miguel set this up?”

  “No. We’re not sure what’s going on.”

  “Well let’s find out.” Dane closed the door and followed Miles to his car.

  Miguel, Miles, Dane and Jakey sat there waiting for Simmons to arrive.

  “Migs, I want to bring up Smitts.”

  “Dane, let’s see what he wants first.”

  “Miguel is right. He doesn’t pay visits to people. Something must be up.”

  Miguel’s watch beeped. “He’s here.” Miguel got up and exited the room to go and meet Simmons and escort him back.

  “Jakey, what’s your take on this?”

  “Beck and I have been working on locating Smitts. Maybe Simmons is on to us and wants to know what the deal is?”

  “Miles?”

  “I don’t know. I wouldn’t be surprised if Simmons knows more than all of us.”

  Miguel opened the door and walked in with Simmons and Beck following behind him. Once they were all inside Miguel locked up the door and sealed it closed. “Have a seat.”

  Beck sat down. Simmons however stood looking at all of them. He walked over to Dane and placed his hand on his shoulder. “I’m terribly sorry that you were injured at the hands of my stepson.”

  Dane looked up at Simmons. “You know?”

  Simmons took a step back and nodded. “I thought that Scotty had changed but clearly the love and hope I had for him clouded my judgement. His mother was an awful woman who was full of anger and he grew up with that anger surrounding him. For a few years we were all happy, or so I thought. It turns out that his mother was using me to benefit herself. When I allowed Scotty, Smitts, back into the fold it was to gather information on his mother. I had no idea what she was up to and I should have clued you all in then. I am so sorry Dane and Jakey for the beatings that you took because of me.”

  “Sir, let’s not dwell, let’s get this mother fucker and bring him down.”

  “Dane’s right we need to do right by our boss.” Jakey stood up and patted Simmons on the back and pulled out a chair. “Have a seat.”