Thank You For Loving Me

by Lori Ryan

  Devlin swallowed down the emotions welling up inside of her. She glanced up into his beautiful face, a small smile escaping her lips despite the raging sea of emotions in her chest. “Okay,” she said quietly.

  This was it. She had to tell him. She couldn’t put it off any longer.

  Chapter Twenty-Nine

  Devlin walked around the edge of the dance floor toward the back of the barn. She’d wanted to wait until after the wedding but she couldn’t avoid him any longer. He’d been stalking her all night like a lion. He was no fool, he knew something was wrong, and leaving him wondering wasn’t right.

  “Where are you going?” he asked as she walked past the dance floor. She didn’t respond, just continued toward the barn door.

  As they stepped outside, he pulled her to a stop. “I’m not going to take one more step until you tell me what’s going on, Devlin.”

  She turned to face him. “I’ll tell you, just, not right here,” she nodded to the open barn door, “not so close to the reception.”

  “Is it that bad?”

  Yes, she wanted to say.

  “I’d just like to be alone with you, that’s all.” Without another word of explanation, Devlin turned and walked down one of the pebbled paths, surprised when Max followed with no protests.

  They weaved in and out of the trees and Devlin couldn’t help but think she’d found such a peaceful place to deliver life-changing news. She’d forgotten how much she missed the beauty of Colorado. The fresh mountain air, the amazing views. Could she get used to one place? This place?

  Max reached out and grabbed her, turning her to face him. “No one can see us here. What’s going on, Devin?”

  Devlin shuddered as she felt Max’s thumb gently caressing her wrist.

  “I like you Devlin,” he said with such honesty and raw emotion her heart ached.

  She’d prepared herself for a battle. Not this, though. Not gentle Max.

  “I, I know this started out as a temporary thing, but for me…” Max released her hand. Devlin felt the loss of his touch to her core. He raked a hand through his thick hair and looked up at the sky. “I know you want to leave, but I think you should stay here.” He straightened his head and looked straight at her. “Stay here, with me.”

  “What?” Devlin was stunned.

  Max’s hands fell away from his head as his arms wrapped around her waist, trapping her against his body. “I want us to try this, this thing called a relationship.”

  She squirmed out of his hold and his face fell, his green eyes shadowed with disappointment.

  “I have to tell you something Max.”

  He tilted his head, his brows lifted. “Okay. What?”

  Her fingers twisted together and she bit her lip, studying the ground.

  Max slid a finger under her chin and tilted up her head. She looked into eyes so beautiful, so incredibly sincere she nearly cried.

  “Just tell me, Devlin.”

  “I’m pregnant.” The words burst from her mouth before she could stop them.

  Max released her face and stepped back. “You’re what?”

  “I’m pregnant,” she repeated.

  “How the hell…you said you had it covered. Did you lie?”

  “Why would I lie to you?”

  “Oh, I don’t know?” His face went hard as granite, all the emotion that had been there moments ago, washed away. “Maybe to get money from the rich NFL player for child support?”

  All the peace and tranquility she’d felt earlier in his arms was gone, knocked away by his harsh accusation. “Are you serious right now?” She seethed, stepping backward. “I don’t need your money, asshole. I didn’t plan to be a mother any more than you planned to be a father.”

  “Is it mine?”

  Her body shook with rage, her teeth clenched so tight she feared she’d break a molar. Before she could stop herself, she reached out and slapped his face. Hard. She glared at him, eyes wide, nose flared.

  He cupped his jaw but didn’t seem surprised. “Neither one of us have ever claimed to be saints, Devlin.”

  “You’re right, Max. I’ve narrowed it down to you and three other guys I’ve been fucking in the last two months.”

  “How the hell am I supposed to know, Devlin?” He threw his hands in the air. “You’ve been all over the world in the last two months.”

  “Well, I guess I’m sorry I told you then.” She turned to walk away but Max grabbed her arm. She yanked away.

  “I’m sorry, Devlin, I’m just…” He raked both hands through his hair. “I don’t know. I don’t know what I’m saying.”

  Devlin shook her head but didn’t turn to face him. She’d expected him to be shocked, maybe upset, but never to accuse her of doing this on purpose. Or sleeping around. “We never claimed monogamy when we first slept together,” she said. “But for me, there hasn’t been anyone else since you.”

  His hand slid over her shoulder and gently turned her to face him. “You’re sure? About being pregnant, I mean?”

  “Four tests.” She laughed with no humor.

  Max fell back against a tree. “Fuck.”

  “Yeah,” Devlin echoed. “Fuck.”

  “How long have you known?”

  She swallowed down her fear. She knew he’d be upset. Honestly, she’d lost track of the days, her brain was so fuzzy now. “I don’t know, a few days, maybe a week at most.”

  “A week,” he half shouted. “And you haven’t told me?” Max shook his head, his lips pressed in a hard line, eyes narrowed. This was his game face, she thought. “Who else knows?” Max glared at her. “Maggie?”

  Devlin nodded.

  “Who else?”

  “Lily,” she said quietly.

  “Lily,” he shouted. “What the fuck, Devlin? You told my cousin but you couldn’t tell me?” He jabbed a finger to his chest. “Wait.” He held up a hand as if to stop her from answering. “Did you know you were pregnant the night we raided your girls’ party at Maggie’s?”

  “Yes,” she said, her voice barely above a whisper.

  “Well, fuck me. Thanks for trusting me, Devlin, I really appreciate it. It’s my baby and you would think that—”

  “All right, Max!” she yelled. “I get it. I should have told you. I’m sorry. I just don’t know what the hell I’m doing here. I have no business being a mom. I don’t even think I want to be one.”

  Max winced, his eyes wide.

  Her admission, now spoken aloud, hurt both of them. She could see the pain etched on his face and suspected her own expression mirrored his.

  Max stepped forward. “What are you saying?”

  “I’m saying…” God, what was she saying?

  Max looked down at her, his face a mask of rage. “You’re telling me you would seriously have aborted this baby and never told me?”

  ”No! God, no.” She’d thought of a lot of options, but never that. She opened her mouth to explain, but she had no words to describe the Tsunami of emotions whirling inside her mind.

  Some part of her loved this baby already, a large part if she were honest. She was surprised to find maternal instincts were already kicking in, thinking of how to protect their baby. And yet, another part feared the fact that keeping this baby would tie her to Max for life.

  Suddenly her heart lightened at the thought. What would it be like to have Max in her life? Always. With a baby. She let the idea of a family tumble through her mind, surprised when she wasn’t gripped by an anxiety attack at the thought. She’d never wanted to be in a committed relationship with a man, never even thought of it. Until now. Until this man.

  “Fuck, this.” Max said, turning away and walking toward the barn.

  Suddenly she was slapped back into reality. He must have mistaken her silence for something else. Tears welled in her eyes but she willed them away. She was so sick of being so emotional.

  Max stopped and did an about face, glaring at her. “I have as much right to that baby as you do, Devlin. You may no
t want him, but I do. And I’ll get him too.”

  His words hit her like a punch to the gut. Was he threatening to take this baby from her? “What are you saying?” she squeaked out.

  “Exactly what I just did. He will be a part of my life, even if he’s not part of yours.”

  Devlin’s face flamed with anger and her vision narrowed on Max. “Are you threatening me?”

  He remained silent.

  She shook her head in disgust. “Finally, the leopard shows his true spots.”

  “What the fuck does that mean?” he asked, hands on hips.

  “You seriously think you’ll take this baby from me?”

  Max stood in silence. Which was probably a good thing, considering she was about to rip up one of the trees next to her and throw it at him.

  “You’re just like my father,” she said through gritted teeth, “always trying to control me. If you think you’re going to use this baby to tell me what I can and can’t do, you’re in for a shock. This is why I would never marry a man like you.”

  Max let out a bark of unamused laughter. “I never asked you to marry me, Devlin.”

  Devlin bit her cheek to keep from lashing out in hurt and anger.

  “Max!” someone shouted from close to the barn. “Max, we need you!”

  “Shit,” Max mumbled. He glanced from whoever had called his name back to her, pointing a finger. “We’re not done, Devlin.”

  Oh, they were definitely done, she thought.

  “Where are you staying tonight?” he asked.

  Not in Canyon Creek, she wanted to say.

  “Devlin?”

  “Maggie’s.” She lied.

  “After Maggie and Ben leave and we get things cleaned up, I’m coming over. You’re not going to shut me out of this baby’s life. We have a lot to talk about.”

  “Not really,” she said under her breath.

  “What?” he asked.

  “Max!” Another shout came from closer now. “Let’s go.”

  “I’ll text you,” Max said.

  Devlin watched Max jog down the path back toward the barn like a seasoned athlete. She followed his steps, stopping at the fork in the path that led to the barn. She would be damned if any man ever controlled her.

  Instead of making her way back to the reception, she turned and walked toward the cabin where she and Maggie had finished dressing. Maggie’s car keys were inside. If she left now, she could pack her things and be on a plane bound for New York City by midnight.

  Chapter Thirty

  Max rounded the corner of the barn door, his breathing labored both from running, and from the news he’d just received.

  He was going to be a father. A father. His heart hammered in his chest.

  And he’d just been an absolute ass to the mother of his child. Like he’d take their baby away from her. He was about to turn around and find Devlin to apologize when someone shouted at him.

  “Max!” Emmett yelled.

  He glanced up and noticed his brothers all lined up near the dance floor.

  “Hello, everyone,” Jake said next to the Karaoke machine. “My brothers and I have a special treat for the newlyweds.”

  “Come on,” Aaron mouthed, motioning for Max to join him, Emmett, and Grant behind Jake.

  God, the last thing he wanted to do right now was this stupid song his brothers and he had drunkenly choreographed last night.

  “Dude, what’s wrong with you?” Jake asked. “You look like you’re going to hurl.”

  Max wasn’t sure that he wasn’t. Finding out Devlin was pregnant definitely had been the biggest surprise of his life. And he’d been less than supportive of her. He silently laughed. That was putting it mildly. He’d been a complete ass, actually.

  They would talk tonight, after the reception. They’d sort it all out, he’d apologize and together they would figure out what to do next. Fuck that. He couldn’t wait until tonight. He’d find her after this ridiculous song and make her talk.

  No, Devlin hadn’t planned this pregnancy, he knew that. He’d responded to her news the way he had before when two other women claimed to be pregnant by him a few years ago. They weren’t. All they’d wanted was his money, and the prestige that came with tying yourself to a pro athlete. Yeah, he’d been burned before, and his reaction to Devlin’s news had been instinctual. And wrong.

  He knew Devlin’s heart. She wasn’t like most women from his past. She was a lot of things, but dishonest wasn’t one of them. If she said she was pregnant, she was. And if she said it was his, it was. God, just the thought of her pregnant with another man’s baby had him seeing red.

  And there was no way she’d planned it. Why would she? He knew for a fact she never wanted to tie herself down to anyone. Especially not to him, or a baby. Maybe this pregnancy would change her mind though. Maybe she would stay after all.

  A sense of peace washed over him as he thought of starting a family with Devlin. This pregnancy may not have been planned but he’d do everything he could to keep her and the baby here. Wait, did that mean he was staying in Canyon Creek?

  Emmett looked him up and down. “Dude seriously, what the fuck is wrong with you? You look like you’re about to pass out. If you forget a step it’s no biggie.”

  If Emmett and Aaron only knew, it wasn’t their stupid performance that had him rattled.

  Before Max could answer, the music began and the familiar sounds of Queen’s “Another One Bites the Dust,” rang throughout the room.

  Grant led the brothers in their horribly choreographed dance, wiggling their asses to the beat of the song.

  The room burst into laughter as they recognized the tune.

  Jake had the best voice out of all of them, which really wasn’t saying much, so they’d elected him to sing. As the music played and the laughter built, Max felt his tension ease and a smile spread across his face. This was what he had wanted all along. A family, that laughed together, that celebrated together.

  As the chorus rang out and the boys sang along with Jake, their fists pumped wildly in the air to the words, “Another one bites the dust,” Max sang, laughing in spite of himself.

  His eyes scanned the barn but he didn’t see Devlin anywhere. Maybe she was still outside. As soon as the song was over, he’d find her.

  Surprisingly Max remembered most of the moves despite the shocking news he’d just received. The audience was singing along, their own fists pumping along with the words as they all laughed.

  The song came to a close and Max as his brothers danced their final steps. The crowd roared and stood to their feet. His brothers and he bowed and waved. They all moved back toward the tables as Grant stood and waved.

  “Sit down, you idiot!” Ben yelled.

  Brothers, Max thought, smiling. His family. Maybe one day his own sons would razz each other the way he and his brothers did. Oh shit. What if he had a girl? What did he know about raising a girl?

  “You okay, Max?” Elsbeth asked. Emmett’s fiancée reached out and stroked his arm.

  “Uh, yeah, just tired from all the exertion I guess.” He laughed.

  “Please don’t sing that at our wedding.” She smiled. How the hell had his dipshit brother, Emmett snagged this beauty? No wonder Devlin had chosen to focus her coffee table photography book of cancer survivors on Elle Noble.

  Devlin. Shit.

  “Will you excuse me,” Max said, standing. “I need to find someone.”

  Elle’s lips curled into a knowing smile. “If you see Emmett, tell him he owes me twenty dollars.”

  “What for?” Max asked.

  “He said there was no way they’d get you out there dancing and singing.”

  “You didn’t bet against me?” Max asked.

  Elsbeth shrugged. “I’d never bet against you, Max. I have faith in you.”

  “Thank God someone does.”

  “I’ll give you twenty dollars if you’ll keep your brothers from a repeat performance at my wedding.” She laughed.

/>   “Deal.” Max smiled, leaning down to kiss her cheek.

  Max made his way through the crowded room, searching for Devlin. He stopped and visited with friends and family who stopped him, but a nervous unease crawled up his spine as it became clear she wasn’t in the barn.

  He’d been spiteful and mean to her. Shit, that was putting it mildly. He’d been a grade-A asshole. He needed to find her, apologize. And then they’d figure out how to make this work. Together. He would never try to control her like her father had. They’d compromise and figure their shit out, for them, and for their baby.

  He stumbled over his feet. Baby. He was going to have a baby. What the fuck? He smiled as he realized the fact wasn’t nearly as scary as it had been when Devlin told him.

  “Where is she?” someone said behind him.

  Max turned to find his mother, scowling, an equally upset Maggie by her side.

  “I’m assuming you’re talking about Devlin,” Max said in a stern voice, staring at Maggie. “The woman you knew was pregnant with my child and failed to tell me.”

  “Oh, don’t get pissy, Maxwell,” his mother said.

  Max’s brows lifted high. Pissy was the equivalent of a curse word for her.

  She puffed out her chest. “I knew too.”

  “What?” he yelled.

  “I just found out, so calm down,” his mother said.

  Max turned his skeptical glare on Maggie.

  “It wasn’t my place to tell you, Max.” She shrugged. “This was Devlin’s news to share.”

  “Well, share she did,” he said. He looked over their heads. “Where is she?”

  “We were coming to ask you the same question,” his mother said. “I haven’t seen her since I left you two earlier.”

  Max glanced down at his watch. “How long ago was that?”

  “I’m not sure, an hour or so,” his mother answered.

  Maggie stepped forward. “What did you say?” Her stern tone was surprising. “When Devlin told you about the baby, what did you say?”

  Max stood still, a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach as the spiteful words he’d spewed at Devlin rang through his head.