The Edge of You

by Theresa Dalayne

  After grabbing some fast food, he sat in his car in the parking lot of the McDonalds, eating his cheeseburger and extra-large fries. Being full was a welcome change. Besides the Chinese food with Maya, he’d practically been living off white bread, ramen and tap water.

  He slurped down the last of his Coke and sat back, enjoying the cushioned bucket seat and warm air from the heater slowly blowing on his soaked feet.

  His phone buzzed, and he checked the text from Wes. You comin back? If not let me know so I can close up.

  Jake groaned and shifted his car into drive. “I’m coming, I’m coming,” he mumbled as he pulled onto the main road, toward the docks. His body ached more now that he had some time to rest, and he dreaded climbing back on the boat for another few hours of hard labor. When he passed a girl walking on the side of the road, he did a double take, and then pulled over and peered in his rearview mirror to be sure it was Maya.

  She paused, and then walked toward him at a faster pace, her features shadowed under the hood pulled over her head.

  Jake leaned over the seat and opened the passenger door. “I thought that was you,” he said as she sat. “Where are you going?”

  She cleared her throat. “The Coast Guard base.”

  “You realize it’ll take you a few hours to walk there, right? He shifted the Beast into gear and pulled back onto the main road. “Have you been to the base yet?”

  “No.”

  He gripped the wheel and checked the time. If he hauled ass there, he could make it back to work before Wes closed up. “So...” He didn’t want to be nosy, but something was definitely up. “Everything okay?” She shook her head and turned away from him, staring out the window in silence. “Hey,” he said in a soft voice. “Whatever’s going on, it’s going to—”

  “Don’t tell me everything’s going to be okay,” she snapped. When she turned toward him, her narrowed eyes softened and her lips gently parted. “I’m sorry.” She pulled back her hoodie. “I just had the most screwed up day yesterday, and I have to go to the base to talk to my dad. He hasn’t been home for a while. My mom is losing her mind.”

  “He works a lot, huh?”

  “Lately, yeah. Since we moved here it’s like he doesn’t even live with us.”

  “Oh.” Jake kept his focus trained on the road, trying to think of something to say. But sometimes the best thing to do was to listen. Yet another tip he picked up as the only child of a single mom.

  “Were you at work?” Maya asked.

  Jake wiggled his toes in his soaked boots. He was sure he smelled like fish, though he barely noticed it anymore after being around it for so long. “Yeah. I need to go back for a few hours.”

  “I’m so sorry. You really don’t need to give me a ride. I don’t want to get you in trouble or anything.”

  “No, it’s fine.” He rolled his shoulders, most of his muscles aching. “I can use the break. I’ll just go back a little later.”

  “You sure?”

  Jake nodded. “How’s school been?” he asked through a yawn.

  “Boring. I miss you in class.” Her crooked smirk had him guessing.

  “What’s that look for?”

  “Nothing.” Maya shrugged.

  Nothing? The way she was looking at him didn’t say nothing. It said...something.

  Jake returned his attention to the road.

  “So...” She twisted a loose string from the stitching of her sweater. “I really appreciate you driving me to see my dad.”

  “I don’t mind. Besides, you watched me scarf down obscene amounts of Chinese food, then helped me write a ten page essay on Thomas Jefferson. I kind of owe you.” She glanced up at him with a shy smile that made his blood heat.

  She shifted her weight, and then pulled one knee up to her chest, resting the heel of her shoe on the edge of the faded leather seat. She laid her cheek on her knee. Strands of hair fell over her face. Before he realized what he was doing, he’d reached across the bucket seat and tucked strands behind her ear.

  A soft smile curved her lips.

  He returned his attention to the road, gripping his steering wheel harder now. Something about this girl drove him crazy. Maybe it was the fact he hadn’t been with anyone in so long.

  Or maybe not. Maybe it was something more.

  Chapter Nineteen

  Maya

  The fact he was willing to listen made Maya feel more comfortable. God knows she needed someone to talk to besides Beth, who had been busy with work and school. Maya didn’t blame her. Life goes on, with or without your best friend living next door.

  Maya kept her cheek rested on her knee as she spoke. “My mom is a recovering alcoholic.” She waited for the same look of pity everyone gave her when they found out, but it never came. “Yesterday my dad was supposed to take my mom out for their anniversary, but my dad never showed. My mom went to work this morning crying.” She’d didn’t mention the fact she found out her mother was storing booze in the house, and after just a few minutes of searching, Maya had found another two bottles, one hidden under the kitchen sink and one in the garage. “That’s why I was walking to the base. I have to talk to him, and he hasn’t been answering his phone.”

  “Well...” When the car slowed, Maya sat up straight to see the Coast Guard base straight ahead. The buildings were all made of what looked like aluminum, from the way the sun reflected off the flat rooftops, creating a vivid glare that hurt her eyes. “At least you won’t have to wait long,” Jake said.

  Jake slowed to a stop at the gated entrance. A man in a uniform stood outside a small building that looked like a tollbooth. Jake rolled down his window.

  “Can I help you?”

  Maya leaned over Jake. “Hi. My name is Maya Reed. I’m—”

  “Lieutenant Reed’s kid?”

  Maya nodded, relieved she didn’t have to explain herself. “Yeah, I just wanted to say hi, if that’s okay.”

  “I’m pretty sure I’d get my ass handed to me if I didn’t let you in,” he said with a playful smile. The man returned to the booth and the striped wooden barrier lifted, giving them access into the base.

  Maya sat back in her seat. “That was easier than I thought. I didn’t have to show him an ID or anything.”

  “It’s Kodiak,” Jake said. “People here aren’t too uptight. You won’t hear about a lot of crime except some drug stuff, and maybe a few cases of vandalism. There’s really nowhere to run.”

  She’d never considered that. Being two hundred and fifty miles away from the mainland, anyone who committed a crime serious enough to be hunted down would run out of places to hide before the state trooper even broke a sweat.

  Nerves prickled her skin. The car stopped and Maya hopped out. She waited for Jake, but when he didn’t turn off the engine, she bent down and looked at him through the window. “You coming?”

  “It’s probably better if you go alone. I’ll wait outside.”

  When she pushed through the door, she walked to the back of the room to find an empty desk.

  Maya slowly approached it, searching for any sign of her father. There was no name plaque or any pictures. A screensaver of the blue, white and gold Coast Guard seal bounced around the computer screen. It could have been anyone’s desk.

  A closed door was ahead of her, light shining from underneath. Maya stepped toward it, listening intently. She clearly heard a woman’s voice from the other side. Maya pulled back.

  If she walked in, there was no telling what she’d find. She turned back to the desk one last time. Her gaze honed in on a short bottle made of thick glass with purple liquid inside. It wasn’t noticeable before—hidden by the bushy plant on the corner.

  Maya stepped around the rolling office chair and grabbed the bottle, then held the spritzer under her nose. Her heart sank when she smelled the same fruity scent her father smelled like.

  It had to be his secretary’s desk.

  Maya spun to face the door.

  What the hell was he think
ing? Was some slutty secretary worth his marriage? She gripped the bottle harder, ready to throw it across the room. Apparently she was the only one who gave a shit about keeping their family together. Things had been hard enough. Heartbreaking enough. Now this—Maya’s throat tightened.

  Good thing Jake stayed outside, because things were about to get very ugly. She barged through the door, into her father’s office, her entire body rushing with heat and adrenaline.

  Both he and the woman jumped at the sudden intrusion. Her father sat behind his desk, and the woman—who looked old enough to be her grandmother—poised her fingers over the keyboard of a laptop.

  “Maya.” His features softened, though his tone stayed sharp.

  The secretary, with greying mousy-brown hair pulled back in a low ponytail, adjusted the thick-framed glasses overtaking her face.

  Subtly, Maya slipped the bottle of perfume into the pocket of her hoodie and flashed a smile. “Surprise.”

  “Is everything okay?” He stood and rounded his desk, wearing a white and blue hat, a perfectly pressed navy jacket with brass buttons and an array of pins, white gloves, and a straight crease running down the front of his slacks to polished black shoes.

  Maya’s heart ached. With the exception of when he was slipping in and out of the house, she hadn’t really seen him in weeks. The fact she barged in to accuse him of being a cheating jackass didn’t help. “Um...” She glanced at the secretary. “Kinda.”

  Her father gestured to the woman, who stood and shuffled out of his office without a word. When the door clicked shut, Maya stood in the center of the room, shifting her weight.

  “Decide to come check out the base?” He asked.

  She’d take that. “Yep. It’s…cool.” But even if he wasn’t sleeping with his secretary—ew—he still had some explaining to do. “I tried calling you like a dozen times last night. Don’t you have your phone?”

  “Of course.” He removed his phone from the clip on his belt. When the color drained from his face, Maya knew he hadn’t seen her missed calls, or all of the texts from her mom. “I must have forgotten to take it off silent.”

  “Do you have any idea what’s been going on at the house? She got all dressed up, and for the first time in a long time was smiling.” Raw anger bubbled back to the surface. “She was so excited for you to take her out. What the hell happened?”

  Her father’s eyebrows furrowed.

  Why did he look so confused?

  “I’m taking her out tonight.” He smoothed down his uniform. “That’s why I’m in my dress blues. She loves it when I wear them.”

  “Wait, what?” Maya slowly sat. “She said you called yesterday—”

  “I did…” His face drained of color and he let out an exasperated sigh.

  Maya’s lips parted. “You know about her drinking again, don’t you?”

  “I had my suspicions.” He leaned back on his desk, pinching the bridge of his nose. “I don’t know if I can go through this again.”

  Maya stepped back. “What do you mean?”

  “Maya…” He drew in a deep breath, letting out a long, silent exhale. “I’m doing my best—”

  She scoffed. “No, you’re not.”

  He eyed her from across the room. “Do you have any idea how many times I’ve been through this with your mom? How many times I’ve stuck this out?”

  “And you don’t think I’ve been dragged through it, too?” She pursed her lips. “I’m just happy Gracie didn’t have to—”

  “Don’t.” Maya had rarely seen her father’s features so dark. “Don’t bring your sister into this. Your mom did the best she could. Losing Gracie broke her.” His Adam’s apple bobbed. “It broke all of us.”

  Maya lifted her chin and blinked away unshed tears, determined not to let her father see her fold.

  “Of course you have been through a lot, Maya. I know that. And I would have done anything to keep you from it.” He turned away from her and mumbled, “Maybe it’s time to face the facts and move on.”

  “Move on?” She furrowed her brows. “You mean, leave Mom?”

  His shoulders slumped. “I just don’t know what else to do.”

  “Dad…” Maya stepped forward, determined to talk some sense into him. If he left her now, she’d have no one. “Gracie was the best thing we had.” She held back the quiver in her voice. “She wouldn’t want this. Besides, you knew Mom; knew she had problems before you married—”

  He slammed his phone on the his desk and turned to face her. “I knew she had problems, but she told me she was better. She was so brave, and I admired her courage. Her fight.” He balled his fist and pressed it to his chest. His fingers slowly relaxed and he dropped his hand to his side. “Then her mother died and the drinking started back up.” His gaze drifted into the distance. “I’ll never forget the first glass of wine she had. The way she stared into it, swirling it in the glass.” He blinked and refocused on Maya. “By then you were born, and I decided to stick it out instead of letting our family be torn apart.”

  “Dad, she needs you now. We need you. You can’t keep spending all your time at work and forgetting about us at home—”

  “I didn’t forget!”

  Suddenly Maya needed to sit. She groped for a chair and plopped down, shaking her head. “She’s sick, Dad. I think she needs help.”

  Her father slowly sat behind his desk and leaned back in his chair, rubbing his eyes. “You’re sure?” Maya nodded. There was a long pause before her dad finally spoke again. “Do me a favor and don’t bring this up to your mom.”

  “You just want me to just pretend like—”

  “Yes, Maya. Pretend. Because when your mom is like this, nothing you say is going to sound rational. Trying to talk her will only cause a fight.” He leaned forward on his desk. “Trust me, I know.”

  Chapter Twenty

  Jake

  Jake watched the door to the building swing open as Maya walked out. He leaned over and pushed the door open. She sat and shut it behind her without saying a word.

  Not wanting to pry, Jake pulled out of the base and onto the main road in silence.

  “Thanks.” She watched him behind strands of dark brown hair. “I really appreciate the ride.”

  “Everything okay?” He wasn’t sure if he should have asked, but he did.

  She shook her head, and a tear slipped down her cheek.

  This was one area he didn’t have any experience in since his mom hardly ever cried. He pulled over on the side of the road and turned toward her. “Hey,” he said softly, sliding his hand down her arm. She rested her hand in his and squeezed it tightly. Another tear fell down her cheek, and quiet sob pushed out from her throat. She turned away, shaking her head.

  Without thinking, Jake slid across the bucket seat and wrapped his arms around her. She rested against his chest quietly, her fingers pressed to her lips.

  He wanted to tell her everything would be all right, but the last time he did, it didn’t go over well. Maybe because she knew better. And she was right. Shit didn’t always work out. Life was all too often really fucked up. Worse, saying it would be okay gave false hope to people who really needed it, and he wasn’t about to do that.

  “Was it that bad?” he asked, still holding her close.

  She sat up and wiped her cheeks with the sleeve of her sweater. “Well, my dad’s not a lying asshole, which is good.” He waited, not sure if he should respond. “But my mom.” Maya seemed to be lost in the view of the coast. “My mom is slipping and I don’t know how to fix it. Since Gracie died, she started drinking again. At first I hoped she’d get it under control, but…” She dug her fingers in her hair and rested her head against her palm.

  “Does your dad know?”

  “He does now.”

  “So what’s he going to do?” He wouldn’t usually ask so many questions, but it seemed like talking about it helped her calm down.

  She shrugged. “I don’t know. I was supposed to help her. Help h
er get better—stay better.” Her tone swelled with sadness.

  “It isn’t your job to control your mom’s habit. Be supportive—fine. But you can’t blame yourself.”

  Maya shook her head. “If it weren’t for me...things would be different.”

  ***

  It sucked, dropping Maya off at her house. There were no cars parked in her driveway, and she’d probably sit in her room.

  As much as he wanted to keep her company, he couldn’t. He had to go back to work and pull another shift before it got too late. The sun would set in a few hours, and a boat was the worst place to work in the dark. That was how accidents happened, and how they lost a crewmember two seasons ago. It was his first summer working on The Wounded Patriot, and the loss scared the hell out of him.

  Once Jake returned to the docks, it was another four hours of work before Wes finally decided to lock up and go home. Jake glanced up at the hazy sky as he loaded the last of the fishing supplies back on deck.

  “Before you leave,” Wes said from behind him. Jake turned to his skipper, who had his hand outstretched with layers of bills pinched between his fingers. “Here’s your pay for the last two weeks.”

  Jake took the money and splayed the handful of fifties. “I thought I didn’t get paid until next week.”

  Wes nodded. “True, but you’ve been workin’ mighty hard, and I know your ma isn’t well.”

  If he didn’t think the old man would lose it, Jake would have hugged him. “Thanks. I appreciate that.” He shoved the bills in his pocket—one step closer to everything being okay.

  “Just don’t start slackin’ off on me,” Wes said in a stern tone. “If you don’t show up to work on time, I’ll dock your pay.”

  “That won’t happen. You know how bad I need this job.”

  “Right then.” Wes walked by Jake, patting him on the back of the shoulder. “See you early tomorrow.”

  “I’ll be here.”

  As Jake drove home, he was eager to count the cash Wes gave him and see exactly how much he had earned. Things had been so chaotic—with the constant phone calls to the hospital, long hours of work, and the unrelenting fatigue that hung over him like a thick cloud—he hadn’t kept up with how many hours he’d actually been on the boat.