by Jenna Bernel
Chapter 14: Last to Know
"Hey, Dani! Wait! Let me just talk to you for a sec," Alec said, trying to catch up to me in the school's parking lot, but I sped up my pace as soon as he called my name. Even though we had most of the same classes together, I refused to even look in his direction all day. I couldn't. I knew I was being a hypocrite, but the thought of him and Harper, of all people, shacked up in a hotel room was unthinkable. Couldn't he move on with someone else? Anyone would be better than my lifelong frenemy. I kept walking, but he stopped right in front of me just before I knocked into his chest. I tried to move around him, but he moved with me, blocking my path.
"Just listen: she asked me to book that hotel room so we could throw an after party for the group. I have no intention of sleeping with her," Alec assured me, tilting up my chin so I'd look at him.
"You're pretty naïve if you actually believe that's all she intended to have going on in that hotel room," I spat out.
"You're the one who spent last night in Evan's arms! Would you even care if I did?" Alec asked, scrutinizing my expression.
"No," I snipped, but in my head, I was screaming, yes! Yes, I freaking care! Don't touch that slut for the love of God!
Alec dropped his hand from my chin and shifted his bottom jaw back and forth while he tried to shake off my coldness.
"Good to know," he said before turning to walk away.
"Are you still meeting me tonight?!" I called to his back, and he stopped in his tracks, turning to look at me.
"Do you really want to, after last night?" he asked, referring to my pseudo father Cloud Crashing my dream, and I vigorously nodded my head. He walked back over to me and looked at me seriously.
"I know why you're doing this, Dani. It's not going to work. You're not going to find Eli by Cloud Crashing him," Alec said, taking me by the elbow.
"You don't know that," I snarled, ripping my elbow away.
"Yes, I do. Why do you think I've been losing so much sleep too?" Alec said, shaking his head. I guess I wasn't the only one who thought of it.
"I have to do something! I can't just keep waiting around for his body to show up in the lake one day," I said with a quivering voice.
"I am doing something, Dani. Every day, my number one priority is finding Eli," Alec stated.
"What have you been doing? I want to help; let me help," I pleaded.
"I told you, it's too dangerous." Alec put his hand on my shoulder and I stepped into him.
"At least, tell me what information you have. I need to know what's going on with him. I can't take this anymore," I said, looking up at him and swallowing down the lump in my throat. Alec let out a hefty breath; he was good at playing human, maybe even better than I was.
"Come over tonight," he said and I stepped away, nervous at the thought of being alone together in his house again, but I nodded anyway.
"You're not going to run off to the city to buy a mask now, are you? Be honest! Because I have some things to attend to and I can't be in two places at once," Alec said seriously, pressing his lips tightly as he checked his watch.
"No, I already splurged on the dress, so I'll just wear this plain black one I have from last year," I answered automatically, still preoccupied with anticipation of what information he'd give me tonight.
"Great, I really have to get going. Can I give you a lift home first? I swear Harper won't be riding with us," Alec said and I shook my head.
"No, I'm going to see my mom," I said quietly. He immediately stopped fidgeting to stare at me wide-eyed.
"You sure?" he asked worriedly, now looking around like maybe he should cancel whatever he had planned. If it were something with Harper, I might’ve keeled over right here, in this tundra of a parking lot.
"Yes, I'm sure. Kate's waiting for me." I walked past him to go to the car, but he stopped me, holding my shoulder.
"Eight o'clock," he said and I nodded to confirm my consent before walking away.
*****
"Do you want to come in for a coffee?" I asked Kate, even though I was just being polite, since I really wanted to be alone with my mom.
"No, I want to get some jewelry to go with my dress still," she said. I hopped out of the car, saying goodbye before she pulled away.
I stood in front of my mom's restaurant situated in the cute downtown square of Mapleton. I watched her through the window doing some paperwork at one of the tables. Above the restaurant was her four-bedroom apartment that she recently renovated after gutting it right down to the studs. It was where she and my grandma lived, along with Conner part-time. The fourth bedroom was supposed to be for me, but I wanted to stay in our family home, where I could have the space and privacy I needed after turning vamp. Now I was glad I made that decision. I had always taken my mom's side in the divorce even though I lived with my dad; but now, knowing what I knew, I was glad not to be trapped in a house with her.
Since the restaurant was only open four days a week, for breakfast and lunch, I knocked on the glass door to get her attention, knowing it was locked. Looking up from her work, her whole face lit up when she saw I was coming to visit, which only made it hurt more. She popped up from the table and hurried over, anxious to relieve me from the bitter wind that was still just as cold, despite the sun being out.
"Darling! Come in, come in," my mom, Claudia, said, waving me inside when she opened the door. She bolted it shut again before turning back to me.
"My sweet girl, I haven't seen you in weeks!" she exclaimed, kissing me on either cheek and wrapping me in a warm hug. "Oh my darling, baby girl," she said, rocking me in the hug like I was still an infant. I think my mom could have given Kate's mom a run for her money in any challenge regarding which mom was more overbearing.
"Okay, Mom, I get it; you're happy to see me," I said unlatching her from our hug.
"What's wrong, sweetheart?" she asked, smoothing out my hair from the wind. Usually, I only reserved my spiteful attitude for my unfaithful dad.
"Where do I start?!" I said, agitated, while pushing her hand away from fixing my hair.
"From the beginning is always best. Sit down and I'll whip up some hot apple cider," she said, surprised by my brashness, and now looking more concerned.
"I don't want any cider!" I walked in there, thinking I could keep my cool, but looking at her pale blue eyes, and short blonde hair only reminded me that my traits belonged to someone else. Someone I didn't even know.
"What's the matter, Daniella? Where is this coming from? I spoke to your father this morning and he said you were in the best mood he has seen in years!" My mom raised her voice at me, becoming frustrated over my attitude.
"He's not my father!" I shouted, tears pooling at the rims of my eyelids, but I sniffled them back before they could escape. She gasped, slapping her hand to her mouth and clutching onto a chair with the other one like she might have fainted. She eased down into the chair, staring out into space as tears rolled down her cheeks.
"Who told you? Was it Bill? I'll kill him," she choked out and my eyes nearly popped out of my head.
"Dad knows?" I asked, falling into the chair across from her at the table.
"Of course, he knows," she said, looking horrified. It was like she couldn't believe I thought she’d let him live that lie all these years. She put her hands in her face and began to sob. I just stared numbly at her, wanting to feel something, besides the dead sensation inside, which I preferred to lock away. She grabbed a napkin from the table and wiped at her makeup, trying to compose herself.
"What's going on down here?" my grandma asked as she came around the corner.
"Dani knows," my mom stuttered, and I about fell out of my chair. Ulla came to sit next to me at the table, looking calm and unaffected, which seemed almost stereotypical of the elderly German woman.
"Who else knows besides me? The neighbors? The mailman? Why was I the only one kept in the dark for eighteen years?" I ground out through my teeth, and Ulla squeezed my shoulders, silently comman
ding me to calm myself. But I couldn't find my inner calm, only nausea.
"Will too, and that's all," my mom said as if she, Dad, Grandma, and my big brother all knew that I was the product of a past affair, which was really just a small number!
"How did you find out?" my mom asked again, thinking of all the harsh ways she'd cut Bill for spilling her big secret. I didn't think it through and didn’t know how to answer that question.
"The real question is why did I not know to begin with? How can my own mother look me in the eye and lie to me about my real father since the day I was born?!" I screamed so loud, the glasses behind the counter rattled against each other and Ulla clutched my arms tighter. She was afraid I'd go vamp, go dark, but I was too worked up to turn off the emotions now coursing through me.
"Bill is your father, and he'll always be your father," Claudia said, blowing her nose in the napkin.
"I don't understand. How did this even happen?" I asked, seeking real answers.
"We had just opened the second restaurant, and I was spending all my time there getting it set up. Between Will, who was so young at the time, and the two restaurants, Bill and I never saw each other. We began to grow apart, and were not even sleeping in the same beds anymore. A man came in to eat one day and things spiraled from there. Your father and I were fighting regularly, and it just happened. He was like an escape, like no one I ever met, and I fell in love with him," she confessed while looking out the window as if she were picturing his face.
"Then what?" I croaked out, feeling short of oxygen.
"I was scared and confused. I broke off the affair and told him to never come around again. He did as I asked and left, not knowing what he left behind…" my mom said, slumping her head in shame.
"He didn't ever know you were pregnant?" I asked, feeling shell shocked.
"No. He was already gone by the time I found out. When I confessed to Bill, he asked for a divorce, and I agreed to it. But being the sweetheart I married, even after what I did to him, he said we would wait until after you were born. He didn’t want me to endure the stress of a divorce while being pregnant. He moved out most of his things in preparation for the split, but still slept at the house to help with Will. And then one night, you came along. Bill took me to the hospital and stayed with me through the whole labor. When you were born, he held you in his arms, and I could see in his eyes that he had instantly fallen in love with you. He took one look at you and said you were his daughter and begged me to call off the divorce," my mom said sweetly as she recalled the memory. I was touched. My dad was like this whole other person that I never bothered to know.
"But then, Bill got back at you, by having an affair of his own," I added, reminding myself he also slipped up.
"No! That's how I felt at first too, like he was punishing me; and I was so angry with him for it. But looking back now, I think the real problem was me. Even after Conner was born, I still couldn’t give him back my heart, not completely, anyway. It drove a wedge between us that I couldn’t see." She dabbed at her eyes, looking into the napkin covered with makeup, like her life was flashing before her eyes.
"Why not?" I asked as a feeling of doom hovered over my heart like the beginning of a bad storm.
"You don’t understand, Dani. You don't know what it's like to love two men at the same time. It tears you apart, and pours down on you until you collapse from the weight. I could never recover from what it did to me. I wanted to, but I just couldn't! I'm not strong enough!" she bellowed as the tears began to flow again. My grandma reached across the table and took her hand. I slumped back in my seat, feeling my throat to make sure I still had a pulse. The problem was I thought I did understand. I understood all too well, and there was nothing I could do to stop the lightning bolt from striking my heart, and splitting me in two.
Chapter 15: Bring me Back
I tapped lightly on the carved wooden door and Alec instantly cracked it open so I could enter the Victorian home where he stayed. The more time I spent here at night, the more convinced I became that it was haunted. There was an eerie feeling here like the walls would come alive with faces if I stared at them long enough. I stepped in and Alec was already walking back to the kitchen, but he stopped and turned to face me, no doubt, smelling the rose water billowing from my pores, I'm sure. He glared at me and crossed his arms.
"What?" I glared in return. I could be vamp whenever I wanted.
"Turn back," he said with a locked jaw.
"I'm coping, back off," I said, pushing past him into the kitchen.
"You're getting addicted," he ran up the wall, jumping in front of me in the hallway.
"I'm fine," I said, shoving him to the side, and (I think) making a dent in the wall.
"You can't just shut down and turn vamp every time you have a bad day. When you go vamp with dark emotions, it affects your instincts. You don't have the same Gifts as I do; you could go completely red and never come back," Alec said, grabbing my arm so I'd look at him.
"Maybe that's what I want," I said harshly, pulling my arm free and going to the fridge for some Red Champagne that Alec kept stocked for himself.
"You don't know what that means, or what it does to you," Alec said sadly. I popped the yellow cork of a bottle and poured a glass of the red, carbonated liquid. I had already tried this "vegetarian" version of Red Champagne in Nephil form, and it tasted as expected: like disgusting venison blood. However, I thought I'd feel different as vamp. I swished the sip in my mouth and it tasted like sunshine, and mint, with a trace of earthiness.
"Hmm, not bad," I said, taking another sip. Alec pulled the glass from my hands and threw it into the sink. It shattered into pieces and the blood splashed everywhere, making it look like a horrendous crime scene.
"Not when you're dark like this. Any more, and you'll start craving human blood! Now turn back, or if you prefer, I'll turn you back myself." Alec's voice came out rumbling and husky as he leaned into me, trapping me between him and the counter.
"How could you turn me back?" I asked with a daring, inquisitive tilt of my head. Our eyes were locked on each other and his body oozed with lust as his instincts took over.
"I think you know how," he whispered only millimeters from my lips, and my own vamp lust began clouding my head. Last time we kissed while I was in vamp form, I involuntarily started my heart because I couldn't control my emotions when his lips met mine. He brushed his lips along the curve of my mouth, teasing me as sparks flew off my lips. All I could think about was biting his lower lip, and sealing his searing, hot mouth over mine.
His eyes swept over my face and it looked like he was about to take me right there on the kitchen counter, but I didn't want to give him the satisfaction of knowing he could turn me with one kiss. I closed my eyes and stopped my ragged breath, cutting off his oceanic potion that enticed me like a drug. I clutched onto the cold granite counter, bracing myself as energy spiraled up my veins until it burst into my heart, thereby restarting its cadence. I flitted my eyes open and Alec stepped back with a small smile.
"Much better," he said, but I could see his disappointment that I rejected his kiss. If he only knew how difficult it was, I don't think he'd have looked so glum. Now in full Nephil form, I smacked my lips together as the nasty taste of the animal blood still sat on my tongue.
"Do you have anything else to drink?" I asked, contorting my face and he laughed.
"Help yourself," he said, gesturing to the fridge. I grabbed the bottle I previously took out to put away and opened the fridge. I set the bottle back in its place and found a stash of sodas and water behind the Red Champagne. When I moved them around to get to the water, I noticed a tray filled with clear glass vials and pulled one out of its place.
"What is this?" I asked Alec, while holding it out.
"Be careful, don't touch that," Alec warned. He was instantly by my side as he plucked the vial from my hand and put it back in its place.
"Sorry, what is it? Poison?" I joked.
&nbs
p; "Yes, it's my venom," he said sternly and I looked up at him.
"Oh. Why are you stockpiling your own vamp venom?" I asked, grabbing the water and closing the fridge. Alec sat down at the island while I stood across from it, putting some distance between us.
"Because like yours, it's different than other venom, and it's why the 7th Circle hired me," Alec said. I looked at him with my eyebrows raised, waiting for him to elaborate.
"Your venom keeps humans from being turned, right?" he began and I nodded for him to go on.
"Well, mine is lethal to vampires. A venom bite won't turn them; it'll kill them instantly," Alec explained, pulling his cheek to one side and appearing not particularly proud of his Gift.
"Huh?" I asked as I contemplated that for a moment. "So…" I said, still thinking it through.
"So my blood gives them back their light, their human sides, but for those who are too far gone, my venom is lethal and can eliminate them. Those are the Gifts I received to restore the Balance," Alec said, dropping his eyes.
"So, the 7th Circle presumes you’re their ultimate assassin, when really, you're the ultimate weapon to be used against them," I stated, taking a sip of water.
"Yup, just like you," Alec explained. I hated to admit that the information was actually helpful. I had been so stubborn and for what? Just to hurt Alec? To punish him for taking Eli away? The conversation with my mom echoed in my head.
"Why did you get to know all of this and I'm just finding out now?"
"I really can't explain that, unless you let me take you to Cali," he said, reaching out like he wanted the water in my hand.
"California? What's there?" I asked and his smile widened as he swallowed the water. I looked down at my hands, not even realizing I had given it to him.
"Do you really need that?" I said, gesturing for him to give it back.