Shadows and Lies: A World of Gothic: United States

by Raine English

  Before I undressed, I took my grandfather’s journal out of my pocket and tossed it on the bed, sure it would make for interesting reading, and hopefully help me fall asleep. If only Jaxon were here… Having him down the hall would’ve offered the comfort I needed right now. But he’d done the right thing by going to Clairmont. No doubt, his mother needed him more than I did tonight. I tried to imagine what it would be like to learn of all the horrible things her husband had been up to, but I couldn’t. And I was so thankful that I’d never have to worry about being in her position someday. I’d finally found the man I’d been waiting for, and I knew that he’d never deceive me.

  With that happy thought, I climbed into bed and began reading about my grandfather’s life.

  Chapter Thirteen

  YAWNING, I TURNED another page of my grandfather’s journal. I’d learned so much about him, and I was only halfway through. I wished now, more than ever, that I’d had the chance to spend time with him when I’d been growing up.

  After reading another twenty pages or so, I came to some entries that chased all thoughts of sleep away. Shortly after marrying Jaxon’s mom, Nigel approached Asa about selling Turnberry to the Clairmont’s—that was twelve years ago. They’d had a terrible fight, and Nigel warned Grandfather that he’d be sorry. It wasn’t long after that that Nigel was caught having an affair with Cammy, the woman who died shortly after my mom and with similar symptoms.

  I broke out in a cold sweat as an awful thought popped into my head. What if my mom didn’t die from the flu or some other illness? Cammy either. What if they’d both been poisoned?

  I slammed the journal shut, then ran my hands over my face. Coming here had been a mistake. Maybe this place really was cursed.

  I swung my legs over the side of the bed and started to pace the floor. What to do! What to do! The bed-and-breakfast was going to open in a few weeks, but I didn’t know if I could last until then, let alone six months. Next, my thoughts drifted to Jaxon. What about him? He’d be devastated. We’d finally found each other. Thoughts swirled around in my head, only confusing me more. I needed to talk to someone who could shed some common sense on my dilemma.

  I grabbed my cellphone off the nightstand and checked the time. Not quite midnight. My dad was a night owl. Most likely he’d be awake. Without further hesitation, I dialed home.

  He answered right away. “Livvy Luv, I’ve been thinking about you. How are things?”

  “Oh, Dad! So much has happened, I don’t even know where to begin. Most of it is crazy stuff. I think I want to come home.”

  I heard his sharp intake of breath, and then there was a long pause before he spoke. “You know what I always say about making rash decisions.”

  “They usually don’t turn out to be the right ones.”

  “Exactly. And isn’t the bed-and-breakfast due to open soon?”

  “In two weeks.”

  “You’ve put an awful lot of work into it, Liv, to give up now.”

  “Dad, you don’t know what I’ve been through.”

  “Look, I have an idea. It doesn’t sound like what’s been happening there is something that should be discussed over the phone. Why don’t you try to get a flight home tomorrow? Spend a few days in Boston. We’ll talk things over and decide then what’s best for you.”

  Relief spread through me. As always, my dad had come to my rescue. “Thanks, Dad. That’s exactly what I need to do.”

  “Don’t worry, Liv. Once things are put in the proper perspective, they have a way of working out.”

  “Good night, Dad. Love you.”

  “Love you too, sweetie.”

  When I hung up the phone, I felt much better. Just the thought of going home helped me fall asleep. Although I did wind up keeping the light on. That incident in the hall had unnerved me more than I cared to admit.

  ~*~

  THE FIRST THING I did when I woke was book a flight home. I was able to get one for late afternoon, allowing time for a quick visit to the hospital to see Molly.

  “How are you feeling?” I asked, pulling up a chair next to the bed.

  A small smile brightened her face. “Believe it or not, better. It’s too soon to know if there’ll be any long-term effects, but at least I’m not goin’ to die.”

  “I’m so sorry this happened to you.” I squeezed her hand. “I feel responsible.”

  “Please don’t, Miss Olivia. Ya couldn’t have known what those two were up to. Besides, everyone was so happy that yar grandfather left Turnberry to ya and dat ya’re turnin’ it into a bed-and-breakfast.”

  “Even with Tucker Sheldon’s curse?”

  “It’s home, and I love it. Nowhere’s perfect.” She sat up straighter in bed. “Does this mean ya’re a believer now?”

  I shrugged. “I don’t know about that. But I do wonder if there’s something going on in the house.”

  “Miss Olivia, ya saw the ghost, didn’t ya?”

  A shiver of recollection ran through me. “I saw something last night, or at least thought I did. But let me make one thing clear: I don’t believe for a second that any of us are in danger any longer. Real live people were responsible for that.” I stood and pushed the chair back to where I’d found it. “I’m leaving for Boston later this afternoon. Just for a few days. If you’re still in here when I return, and not back at work”—I winked—“I’ll come visit again.”

  “Have a good trip.”

  “I will.” I waved good-bye as I walked out the door.

  When I got back to Turnberry, Jaxon was in the study, on the phone, taking a reservation for our opening weekend.

  “I heard you went to see Molly,” he said after he hung up.

  “I did. I just came from there.”

  He walked around the rolltop desk and wrapped his arms around me. “How is she?”

  “Much better than I expected. It was great to see her spirits up.”

  He pulled me closer so that his mouth was just inches from mine. “And how are you?”

  “I don’t know.”

  He pulled back a little so that he could look straight into my eyes. “I don’t like the sound of that. What’s going on?”

  “Let’s go somewhere private to talk.”

  “How about a walk?”

  “Perfect.”

  Somehow we always seemed to wind up at the riverbank, and that seemed appropriate for today’s conversation.

  As I stood there looking out at the water, I struggled with how to tell Jaxon what was on my mind. “So much has happened in the short time I’ve been here, it’s a bit overwhelming. I packed up Jessica’s things last night—I couldn’t stand having them in the house—and I found my grandfather’s journal. I started reading it and discovered that years ago, Nigel had approached Asa about selling the plantation to your family. They had an argument, and shortly after that, my mom died, and then Cammy, a kitchen worker.” I paused for a moment. “She’d been having an affair with your stepfather.”

  Jaxon’s tanned complexion paled. “He couldn’t have been married to my mom very long.”

  “Not long at all. I’m sorry.”

  He studied me closely. “That’s not all, though, is it? Are you thinking he had something to do with those deaths too?”

  “I don’t know. It’s so horrible to even think about. Like I said, everything that’s gone on is overwhelming. I thought I could handle six months here, no problem, but it’s been a few weeks, and I’m second-guessing my decision. Maybe you were right and I’m not cut out for this life. Maybe I really am a weak city girl.”

  He grabbed my shoulders. “Don’t say that. You’re one of the strongest people I’ve ever known…in this lifetime and the last.” He pressed his lips to mine, caressing my mouth more than kissing it.

  “I need to go back to Boston,” I whispered.

  He jerked back as if I’d struck him. “Are you going to leave me again?”

  “There’s more to it than just us.”

  “Like what? Last tim
e you had no choice. You were running for your life. What are you running from now?”

  I shrugged, not sure how to answer.

  “You can’t run from your memories, Liv. They’ll hunt you down and haunt you no matter where you are, if you let them.”

  I knew he was right, but I still had to go. “I need to decide where I fit in. Where I call home.”

  “I don’t like it, but I understand.” When I started to walk past him, he looked over his shoulder and said, “Please, Livvy, choose me. Choose us.”

  Chapter Fourteen

  AS THE PLANE taxied down the runway, I could barely contain my excitement at being back in Boston. And the feeling of joy only grew when I spotted my dad among the crowd of people awaiting their loved ones’ arrival.

  He gave me his usual bear hug, and it never felt so good. He kept the conversation light on the way to the house, and I really appreciated that. It wasn’t until later, when we were relaxing in the family room, that he brought up Turnberry.

  “What’s going on, Liv?”

  I took a moment to collect my thoughts, and then I told him all about Jessica, Nigel, and Jaxon. I even told him that I might have seen Tucker Sheldon’s ghost. The only thing I didn’t tell him about was my past life with Ellis. That seemed like a lot to spring on him in one night.

  He regarded me quizzically for a moment. “My goodness, Liv. What a time you’ve had! I’m so thankful that you’re okay and those dreadful people were arrested. But now they’ve been caught, why are you questioning whether or not to stay in Louisiana?”

  I chewed on my lower lip. “Because I’ve fallen in love. Jaxon’s wonderful. You’d like him a lot, Dad. But if I stay the full six months, how could I leave after that? It would be so much harder.”

  He looked confused. “If you’re in love with him, Liv, why would you leave?”

  I gave him a narrowed, glinting glance. “Stay in Louisiana? Forever?”

  “Why not?”

  My brow wrinkled. “What about you? When would I see you?”

  “I’m sure you could find room in that bed-and-breakfast of yours for a visit from your father.”

  My breath caught in my throat. “Really? You’d come?”

  “If that’s where you decided to make your home, you couldn’t keep me away.”

  “Oh, Dad.” I jumped out of my chair and threw my arms around his neck. “You always make things seem so simple and clear. But I’m still not sure. I’d so been looking forward to starting my career here.”

  “Life has a way of throwing us all kinds of twists and turns. That’s what makes it exciting.”

  I thought back to my journey into the past. Not too long ago, I never would have imagined anything like that was even possible. Life at Turnberry would never be boring. That was for sure.

  He kissed my cheek. “Get some sleep, Livvy Luv. You’ve got lots to think about. Just remember, always go with your heart. If you do that, you can’t go wrong.”

  ~*~

  WHEN I ENTERED the Pineapple Cantina, the loud roar from the crowd of college students eating and drinking was the first thing I noticed. I’d forgotten how high the noise level could go when the place was packed.

  Luckily, Kelly must’ve spotted me when I came in, because she was waving wildly from a booth across the room. I pushed my way through the crowd to get to her.

  “Liv,” she yelled, jumping up to give me a hug. “I can’t believe you’re back. I thought for sure you’d be gone the full six months. What’s going on, girl?”

  I slid into the seat across from her, glad that when I’d texted her last night asking to meet at the Pineapple today, I’d arranged for us to get here before Dale. Kelly’s unique perspective on things was sure to be of help.

  “So much has happened, I barely know where to begin.” I leaned across the table with a big smile on my face. “I met someone, Kel.”

  “You did? Is it serious?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Wow! That was fast.”

  “Not really, when you take into account I met him nearly two hundred years ago.”

  “What!” she shrieked, while practically lunging across the booth.

  A waitress came by and plopped two menus down on the table.

  “We’re just here for drinks,” Kelly said, handing them back to her. “I’ll have a pineapple margarita.”

  “I’ll have the same.” When the waitress walked away, I explained, “I’m talking about past lives, reincarnation, that sort of thing.”

  “Olivia Lockwood! Don’t tell me you believe in that? I predicted you’d come back believing in ghosts. I never dreamed it would go beyond that.”

  “I know. If you’ said a few months ago that back in the 1830s, I’d been a slave at Turnberry Plantation and then escaped to Boston via the Underground Railroad, leaving behind my one true love, I’d have said you’d gone off the deep end. Yet, here I am at the Pineapple telling you that’s exactly what happened.”

  Kelly rested her elbows on the table, her eyes as wide as saucers. “That’s amazing. I’m so jealous. Tell me everything.”

  After revealing my entire tale to her, I’d rendered her speechless. She stared at me for a few minutes with her mouth open before managing to ask, “So if you’re in love with Jaxon, does that mean you’re staying in Louisiana permanently?”

  Before I could answer, the waitress came by with our drinks. I took a good long sip of mine and then said, “I don’t know. I don’t know if I’ll even stay the six months. That’s why I’m here. To figure things out.”

  “I don’t get it. What is there to figure out? You’re in love with this great guy, and he loves you.”

  “You make it sound so simple.”

  “It is that simple. I don’t know why you’re making it difficult.”

  I couldn’t believe my ears. “I grew up here, Kel. I never planned on leaving Boston, and then, bam, my whole world is turned upside down. My cousin tries to poison me, there’s a curse on the plantation, and I find out I’ve lived multiple lives. That’s a lot to take in.”

  Kelly took a drink of her margarita. “Yeah, it is. But the main thing is you’ve found your soul mate. Do you have any idea what I’d give to be in your shoes?”

  I swallowed hard, trying to find a feeble answer. “I know I’m extremely lucky. And it’s because of Jax that I might just go back to Turnberry, pack up my things, and come back here. It wouldn’t be fair to stay there longer and then leave him. And right now, I’m just not ready to make that long-term commitment.”

  Her expression darkened. “Do you hear what you’re saying? That’s exactly the excuse you used for not committing to Dale. The only difference is that you were never in love with him. You wanted that heart-pounding romance. Well, you got it, girl, and now you still can’t commit. If you screw this up, Liv, I guarantee you’ll spend the rest of this lifetime regretting it. Think long and hard before making a decision. And speaking of Dale, what are you going to tell him?”

  I twisted my hands nervously in my lap. “Regardless of what I decide, I need to let him know that he’s not the guy for me.”

  Kelly chugged down the rest of her drink. “You’re right, so I’m going to slip out before he gets here. You know I love you. Think about what I said.” She slid out of the booth, then came over to my side of the table and hugged me. “Remember, any excuse to go to Louisiana works for me, and I’ve always wanted to be a bridesmaid,” she whispered in my ear before leaving.

  I was pondering her words when Dale arrived. He looked handsome as always. “I can’t believe you’re here,” he said, leaning over to kiss me. Although it was slow and thoughtful, it sent none of the shivers down my spine that Jaxon’s kiss did.

  “Yeah, it’s a short visit. I’m leaving tomorrow.”

  He sat down across from me. “Wow! That is short. I’m glad I got to see you, though.”

  I forced a smile, dreading what I was going to have to tell him.

  He glanced at the empty margarita gl
ass. “Looks like Kelly came and left.”

  I could feel my composure starting to slip away. “Yeah… Dale you’re such a good guy, and I’ve loved every minute I’ve spent with you, but…”

  “But you’re not in love with me.”

  I swallowed hard and nodded.

  He reached across the table for my hand. “I know that, Liv. I just kept hoping that would change. That if I waited long enough, your feelings might match mine. But I can see that’s not going to happen.”

  I felt impaled by his steady gaze. “You deserve someone whose eyes light up when you enter the room…who knows what you’re thinking before you say it.”

  “Sounds like you’re speaking from experience.”

  I took a deep breath, then let it out slowly.

  There were tense lines on his face. “You don’t have to answer that, Liv. It’s none of my business.”

  “I just want you to know that this doesn’t have anything to do with anyone else. We should have had this conversation a long time ago, but, like you, I kept hoping my feelings would change.”

  The waitress walked over and picked up the empty margarita glass. “What can I get for you?” she asked Dale.

  “I’m not staying. I just popped in to say hello to a friend.”

  She turned to me. “Would you like the check?”

  “Yes, please.”

  “Liv, I wish you the best. Know that I’m always there for you, if you need me. That’ll never change.” He got up, kissed my cheek, and then headed toward the door.

  As I watched him go, tears burned beneath my lids and my throat felt tight. I was thankful he’d been so understanding and had made my telling him much easier than it might have been, but it was still painful, nonetheless.