Celestial Capers

by Dan Kelly

Normally, the Commander is a very soft spoken, congenial individual who is very aware that his rank and reputation as a warrior intimidate a lot of people, so he goes out of his way to put folks at ease. This is not the case today. After the first pirate is brought in and restrained, the Commander enters the room, sits directly across the table from him and, with nostrils flaring and eyes glaring, says in a low growling voice, “I have some questions that I want you to answer as truthfully as possible. If you want to go on living, you will do so.” The only response is a look of derision. “If that’s the way you want to play it, it’s fine with me. Where do you want the body sent?” This also gets no response so he continues with, “The penalty for attacking our queen is death, so where do you want your body sent? There will be no trial because there were plenty of witnesses to what you did. Your execution will be carried out two days hence at dawn.” This gets a response, but not the kind the Commander is looking for.

  With a snarl on his face, the pirate lets loose with a barrage of expletives and disdainful invective, finishing with, “Your threats are as empty as your head. Do you really think I will believe your lies?”

  The Commander is impressed with the toughness of this space marauder, but keeps his thoughts to himself and says, “Believe what you want. You will face the truth two days from today at dawn. Had your attitude been different, I was prepared to intervene on your behalf to arrange a reprieve and have your death sentence commuted to 20 years to life in prison with the possibility of parole in 10 years. You blew it. Perhaps I’ll have better luck with one of your buddies. Guards!” For a brief moment, the Commander sees a look of uncertainty in the pirate’s eyes, but contempt quickly returns as he is led back to his cell.

  The Commander is surprised when he fares no better with the other 27 prisoners. From his first encounter with these pirates, he knew they were tough, but he strongly believed that under the threat of death at least one of them would buckle and answer his questions. He must now resort to some theatrics to reinforce the death threats he’s made.

  The Commander calls Queen Quasar and asks if he can use three of her Royal Theater male actors as well as some of her wardrobe people and makeup artists to stage a short, one scene play. When she asks for details, he replies with, “For now, I’d like to keep what I’m planning to myself. Please trust me.” The Commander is afraid that if she knew what he was planning, she would prohibit it. With some reservations, she complies with his requests.

  When they arrive, the wardrobe and makeup people are given a picture of the first pirate to be interrogated and instructed to duplicate his clothing and create a head mask that would fool his mother at a distance of 30 yards. They are amazingly talented and superb craftsmen and craftswomen and within eight hours their deeds are done. During this time, the actors have also received their instructions which are to create a scene of execution by disintegration, including writing and memorizing the dialogue to be used. They will perform in an open field behind the building that houses the solitary confinement cells.

  The back walls of these cells are movable and can be electronically slid open to permit access to a fenced in nine by nine grassed area where prisoners can be allowed out for some sun, fresh air and exercise. The fencing is chain linked, stands twenty feet high and is barbed and electrified above the ten foot level. The usual prisoner is allowed out into this area one hour each day, but the pirates will be given this privilege just once, at dawn on the day of the first execution. From these fenced in areas, they will have perfect ringside seats.

  Dawn. Execution day. The pirates are startled by the back walls of their cells opening, giving them access to the outside areas. They cautiously walk out of their cells and for the first time in 48 hours are able to see and talk with each other. As soon as they begin to talk, the guard patrolling along the fenced in areas orders them to be quiet. “If you continue to talk, you will be gagged.” After some grousing, they fall into sullen silence.

  Then, from around the corner of the building, they hear a loud commotion. Seconds later, two guards appear struggling with the first of the pirates to be executed. He’s twisting and turning and screaming like a madman. “Let me go! You can’t do this! If you kill me, your days are numbered! Let me go! You scum of the universe, let me go!” He continues to struggle as he’s paraded by the other pirates. They instantly recognize the pirate being hauled before them as Werlik, the meanest and toughest of the bunch. They are clearly shaken up by this spectacle.

  The pirate is half led, half dragged, still screaming at the top of his lungs, to a ceremonial stage that is normally used for awarding military personnel medals, ribbons and insignias of rank in recognition of their exceptional valor, leadership or accomplishment. The stage is 30 yards away from where the other pirates are taking this all in and just about in the center of the line of cells. In the middle of the stage, there’s a cylindrical chamber about eight feet high and three feet in diameter.

  The back and floor of the chamber is made of a solid black substance that is able to withstand the impact of the rays shot from the disintegrator rods imbedded in the roof of the chamber, yet absorb them without being disintegrated themselves. The roof is made up of a variety of special lenses used to focus maximum power on the target to be disintegrated. The transparent door is concave, glides in a track in the edge of the floor and its shape allows it to slide along the walls of the cylinder.

  The stage is five feet off the ground and supported by metal pillars sunk six feet in the ground. The sides are enclosed by concrete slabs, with the slab in back having a wide solid door to permit access to the storage areas beneath the stage.

  The pirate is taken on stage, placed in the chamber and his wrists and ankles are shackled to the back wall. A third person is standing stage right near the front of the stage throwing switches and pressing buttons on a console resting on a waist high table. When he’s finished, he comes down off the stage and walks over to where the other pirates are nervously watching the scene unfold.

  Standing about ten feet from the line of exercise areas he starts walking slowly back and forth in front of the pirates and begins to speak.

  “All of you have been given the opportunity to answer some questions and have refused to do so. You have scoffed our Commander when he told you what the consequences would be for your refusal, accusing him of trying to scare you with empty threats. What you are about to see should remove all doubt about the sincerity of his words. If you continue to be uncooperative, you will share your friend’s fate.” Having said this, he heads back to the stage and resumes his position at the console.

  Up until now, the pirate in the chamber has continued his ranting and raving and the other pirates have maintained their snarling demeanor. They still don’t believe that any serious harm will come to them. All of this is about to change.

  The person at the console shouts, “Close and lock the door and clear the area!” One of the guards complies and then both guards move to far stage left and put on glare goggles. The person at the console shouts out again, this time speaking only to the pirate in the chamber. “At the end of a ten second countdown, I will throw the switch that will fire the disintegrator rods and you will be no more. You have gambled and lost.” These last words have triggered a dramatic change in the expression on the pirate’s face. The angry, defiant look has quickly transformed into one of disbelief and terror. Donning his own glare goggles, the executioner begins his countdown. “10,9,8,7,6,5,4,3,2,1.” The switch is clicked, there’s a bright flash of enormous candlepower lasting about two seconds and all that’s left of the pirate is a pile of dust.

  As for the other 27 pirates, their surly behavior and stoic indifference to the activity preceding the execution have rapidly dissolved into petrified acquiescence. Their snarling expressions have been replaced with fearful looks of defeat. All at once, they begin yelling their willingness to answer questions at the guard patrolling the line of exercise areas.

  Commander Caitlin has been obser
ving and listening from his office window two stories above the cells. Just before the switch was thrown, the Commander’s assistant came into the office and walked over to the window to see what the Commander was looking at. He only had seconds to absorb the meaning of what he was looking at before he was temporarily blinded by the bright flash of light.

  Seeing and hearing the reaction of the other pirates, the somber look on the Commander’s face slowly dissolves into a satisfied smile. The assistant has a dumbfounded look on his.

  As the pirate’s ashes are being removed, the assistant, gasping for breath, says, “Commander, what have you done? Only the Queen can authorize the death penalty.”

  Looking at his assistant, he realizes that the poor fellow has almost become incoherent. “Relax, Andor, relax. What you have seen is all an illusion. Boy, do I love the theater.” Andor still looks like he’s in a state of shock, so the Commander hastens to explain.

  “The people you saw on the stage are actors and no execution has taken place. When the pirate was placed in the chamber, both guards were standing in the doorway blocking the other pirates’ view of him. The chamber is resting over a hole in the stage and it has a trap door in its bottom. The trap door was opened, he dropped onto a mattress on the floor under the stage and a pre-recorded hologram of him was projected into the chamber from beneath the stage. The pre-recording includes all of the histrionics and dialogue you saw and heard, even the pile of ashes.”

  Andor’s sigh of relief was so big he looked like he was going to cave in on himself. “Commander, you sure had me fooled.”

  “I’m sorry I couldn’t let you in on my little secret, but I didn’t want to take any chances on our prisoners finding out what I was planning to do. Even the Queen has been kept in the dark.

  “It is imperative that we obtain irrefutable proof and testimony regarding who is behind all of these space piracies. We suspect it is Emperor Eclipse, but we’ve got to be able to prove it without any doubt. If we can do this, we will be able to bring him before an inter-galactic tribunal and have him locked up for a very long time.”

  The interrogations are much more productive this time around. Before the “execution”, the Commander couldn’t get anyone to talk; now, they’ve all developed diarrhea of the mouth and he can’t get them to shut up. They are all trying to outdo each other with the hope of getting more leniency.

  They all corroborate each other’s story and they’ve hung the Emperor out to dry. The Commander calls Queen Quasar and gives her a full briefing on what has transpired. “Great job, Commander. A military commander requesting the assistance of theater people and refusing to reveal what they are needed for certainly was a new experience for me. Had it been anyone else, I wouldn’t have granted the request. I’m now very glad that I didn’t stand in your way.”

  “Thank you for trusting me, Your Highness. I couldn’t have pulled this off without the help of everyone you sent from your Royal Theater. The back stage people did a magnificent job outfitting the actors and the actors’ performances were superlative. Please congratulate all of them for their contribution in bringing the Emperor to a well-deserved inglorious end. I have expressed my gratitude for their participation, but your recognition will mean a good deal more to them.”

  “I will certainly do that, Commander. I am also going to call a meeting of all my advisors for tomorrow morning to determine our next course of action. I will have my assistant contact you

  shortly with the time and place. We must move quickly before the Emperor finds out what has happened and takes steps once again to avoid capture and prosecution.”

  Chapter 32

  The Queen arranges a conference call from her office with the Pack in the office of Headmaster Herby and passes on what she has learned from Commander Caitlin. “You kids will probably have to testify to what you saw and heard on Discus I. I’m having a meeting tomorrow morning with my advisors to lay out a plan for prosecuting the Emperor. We now have recorded testimony and signed statements implicating Emperor Eclipse in a number of space piracies and harassments which are violations of both Protonese and inter-galactic law. We also have many witnesses, including you guys, to the crimes committed when the pirates attacked Discus I and when they resisted arrest. Hopefully, the Emperor’s days of freedom are finally numbered.”

  Pulsar asks, “Aunt Cue, how will the arrest of the Emperor be carried out? He definitely won’t respond to any inter-galactic summons for an inquiry concerning the charges that will be leveled against him? He’ll know that as soon as he appears he’ll be arrested. He is the ruler of a very influential planet with enormous economic and military might. He will not surrender easily. It might very well take an act of war by the Inter-Galactic Treaty Organization to bring about his arrest. Do you think the IGTO would be willing to go to such lengths to have him face a tribunal?”

  “Pulsar, you’ve just laid out the agenda for my meeting tomorrow. You may attend as an observer if you wish. In fact, I think you should. It will be good experience for you and add to the foundation you are building for the day when you will be the ruler of Proton.” Pulsar still hasn’t gotten used to thinking of himself as being the future ruler of Proton. He still looks upon himself as nothing but a kid who’s known for getting into all kinds of trouble. Whenever Queen Quasar talks like this, he gets real nervous and hopes with all his heart that he doesn’t let her down.

  “Ok. Aunt Cue. Tell me where and when and I’ll be there.”

  At 8:00 a.m. the next day, all are assembled in the Queen’s conference room, but the Queen is late. This is highly unusual. The Queen is rarely late for anything. At 8:15, Commander Caitlin knocks on the office door that connects the Queen’s office with the conference room and gets no response. He opens the door and looks in, figuring she might have had to take an important call that had priority over the meeting, but the office is empty. This is definitely strange. He checks with the Queen’s assistant to find out if there’s been a change in plans. Perhaps there’s been some kind of miscommunication. She’s under the impression that the Queen is in the conference room with her advisors.

  Commander Caitlin returns to the conference room and asks Pulsar, “Do you have any idea where the Queen might be? This is not like her at all.”

  “The Queen’s helicopter picked me up at Stellar and dropped me off on the Queen’s helipad at about 7:45. I stopped in at her office on my way to the conference room about five minutes later to let her know that I had arrived and she was at her desk looking over some papers. She told me to go on into the conference room and that she would be joining us in a few minutes.”

  Security Chief Shandul speaks up. “I don’t like the looks of this. Our meeting was top priority for her. She would not willingly let anything detain her. I’m going to have my people conduct a search of the entire castle.”

  An exhaustive search is conducted of every nook and cranny in Castle Capella, but the Queen is nowhere to be found. While the castle is being searched, Pulsar wanders back into the Queen’s office and sits down at her desk. He’s very worried about the whereabouts of his Aunt Cue and wishes he could do something to help Chief Shandul find her. Keeping with his reputation for having a growing and quite exceptional power of observation, he begins scrutinizing everything in the Queen’s office for a clue as to what has happened to the Queen, something that might give him some idea where she might be.

  His concentration is broken by a loud clap of thunder and he turns around to look out the window behind the Queen’s desk. It’s obviously been raining for awhile judging from the deep puddles of water that have accumulated. He remembers now that it had just started to drizzle when he arrived at Castle Capella. It’s raining very hard now and, from the way the trees are bending, there are gale winds with gusts over 75 miles an hour. If you live on Proton, you’re used to storms like these and there’s usually no advance warning. “I hope the Queen’s helicopter pilot was able to land safely somewhere to wait out the storm.”

&nbs
p; This thought stimulates something else in his mind, like a flick of a switch that turns on the lights in a darkened room. “Helicopter, helicopter, helicopter.” He keeps repeating this word over and over again in his mind. “What is there about this word that has grabbed me?” Then he remembers something he saw on the Queen’s desk. At the time, it only half registered with him, but now it is becoming crystal clear. Some of the clutter typically found on a desk appeared to be in some kind of pattern. He returns to the Queen’s desk for another look and seconds later he sees the message the Queen has left.

  Among the pieces of paper, pens, paper clips and rubber bands, he sees parts of some paper clips sticking out from beneath one of the pieces of paper that seem to be arranged in the form of a flower. When he removes the paper, he sees the paper clips arranged like spokes in a wheel and pointing at them is a pen lying parallel to the edge of the desk. “Very clever, Aunt Cue, very clever.” What Pulsar is looking at could be a flower lying on the desk or it could be a helicopter! “Aunt Cue is trying to tell us that she’s been taken away in the helicopter that brought me from Stellar to Castle Capella.”