The Renovation: A Reverse Harem Romance

by Mika Lane

  “Look at this place.” She gestured around the room. “I had a boyfriend who was going to help me renovate. And he just bailed.”

  Shit. Her bottom lip shook and her face turned pink. I hated it when women cried.

  “I’m sorry.”

  She pressed her lips together for a moment. “Yeah. The really shitty thing is that the note for the house is in my name. He split and left me with the bills.”

  “Goddamn, what a dick.”

  “No kidding.” She smiled sadly.

  “What are you going to do?”

  “Not sure.” She looked down at her hands.

  Man, that sucked. What an asshole.

  I stood and wiped my hands on my pants. Shit, the place was nothing to look at, but it wouldn’t take much to fix it up, either. Just a few bucks and some sweat equity. But I had to stay out of other people’s problems. I’d learned that the hard way.

  Still…

  “Okay,” I started, “here’s the situation.” Hard life lessons be damned. I was going to help this woman if I could.

  “The work I did was a bandaid fix. It won’t last for long. You will need a new hot water heater and pretty soon. What I can do is look around for a used one that’s in decent shape. It could buy you a few years ‘til you need to spring for a brand-new one.”

  “Oh, that would be awesome.” She clapped her hands together and jumped up and down. Good grief, she was cute.

  “What do I owe you?” she asked.

  I waved my hands. “Nothing. Don’t worry about it.”

  Her mouth dropped open, and she shook her head violently. “No, no, no. Please tell me what I owe you for today.” She walked over to her wallet and pulled out some bills.

  “I’m serious,” I said. “You fed me coffee and baked goods. We’re even.”

  ““Oh, yeah, those were real high-dollar items.” She laughed. “I’m paying you. Please let me. I’ll feel uncomfortable, otherwise,” she insisted.

  I had to laugh. “Okay. Twenty bucks. But no more.”

  She handed me some bills, and we stood there looking at each other. I was pretty sure that was my opening.

  “Would you like to go out with me some time?”

  Her eyes widened and she studied me. “Do you ask all the ladies with broken hot water heaters out?”

  I nodded. “I do. I have a thing for women with bad hot water heaters. They’re hot as hell.” I guffawed at my punch line. I couldn’t help it.

  She rolled her eyes, which I totally deserved. “Okay, funny guy. That sounds good. But please keep the plumber jokes to a minimum.”

  “No promises,” I said. “I’ll call you tomorrow, then?”

  She flipped that crazy red hair back over one of her shoulders. “Okay, sure. And if the hot water heater fails between now and then, I’ll be wanting my money back.”

  “Good one,” I said and left. As I walked away, I looked back at the house. It really had potential. And that wasn’t the only thing.

  Chapter 7

  JAYMA

  Holy shit.

  Old Mr. Deer had certainly turned out some amazing offspring.

  I was trying hard to remember that every cloud had a silver lining. I might have some fucked up plumbing problems, but I’d just been asked out by the best-looking world traveler/plumber I’d ever seen.

  Well, okay. I’d never actually met a world traveling plumber, but I’m sure this guy Wyatt was the best-looking one there was.

  I’d embarrassed the hell out of myself, though. He’d asked me if the pilot light was on. I said no, it wasn’t. Turned out, I had no freaking idea what a pilot light was.

  But I did now. He’d shown me.

  Initially, he’d been kind of standoffish. Unfriendly. All business. I was fine with that. It’s not like I invited him over to hang out and watch a movie. But he changed when I asked him about his father. Warmed right up.

  I might be homeless soon, but I had some pretty hot guys to spend time with. Carter the neighbor, Wyatt the traveler. Tanner, from work. When it rained, it poured, as they said.

  Shelle!” I hollered, running across Alta Plaza Park. Also known as Poop Park. Everyone walked dogs there, and barely anybody picked up after them.

  “Hey, slutbag,” she hollered back, waving like a maniac. Several heads turned to see what sort of slutbag I was, and then turned back.

  “Thanks for screaming that across the park,” I told her as I caught my breath.

  She waved her free hand in the no big deal motion. Her other one held five—no, six—dog leashes. By some miracle, she had all the pups lined up like a row of soldiers, not moving and not barking.

  She threw her arms around me in a big hug, tangling us both up in the leashes. She stepped back, beaming her huge gap-toothed grin. Only on Shelle could a space between two front teeth be so attractive.

  “You won’t believe what happened!” she said.

  I’d thought we were getting together to talk about my housing tragedy. Guess not. At least not yet.

  “A client asked me out…” she sang, jumping up and down.

  “Oh, that’s awesome, sweetie.” Actually, she got asked out all the time. But I was still happy for her.

  She nodded. “Yup. He lives in this big house in Pac Heights and has the coolest Labradoodle. I can’t wait,” she squealed.

  We walked over to a park bench and sat for a moment. Couldn’t rest for long with the dogs. After all, she was paid to walk them, not sit around with them.

  “And, San Francisco Magazine is doing a ‘Best Of’ issue. I’m going to get all my friends, family, and clients to vote me the city’s best dog walker.”

  “Oh, what a great idea. You have my vote. Do you get anything if you win?”

  She shook her head. “Only tons of free publicity! There’s nothing more I could possibly want.”

  “So. My house.” I clearly needed to steer the conversation.

  “Yes. Let’s talk about the house,” she said, nodding.

  “I’m thinking if I could get some work done really quick and tell the bank I’m going to sell, they may give me more time before they foreclose. It would be better for them because they’d get their money, and better for me because it would save my credit rating and give me a place to live awhile longer.”

  She shrugged. “I guess you could always ask.”

  “Right. If it means the bank is getting its money, you’d think they’d work with me.” My logic hadn’t always succeeded. I’d also thought Lance would be with me through the renovations, and possibly marriage. And look what happened with all that.

  Shelle stood. Time to get moving. The dogs had started falling asleep. She gave their leashes a little tug and they all popped up, following us out of the park and down the street.

  “Hey, now. Don’t be upset. You’ll figure it out,” she said.

  “I know. I know.” I searched my pockets for a tissue. “I just don’t get how Lance could have screwed me over like this. I hate him. I fucking hate him. And that slut at his office. I mean, we went to Christmas parties at her house.”

  “Fucking bitch,” she added in solidarity, patting my back. “Now what’s the plan? Where do we start?”

  “I don’t know. I mean, I have some ideas. Still trying to figure it out. But—I do have some good news. The plumber who came by the other day, who was wicked good-looking, asked me out.”

  “No way! Everyone’s asking you out lately,” she said.

  “It’s weird, isn’t it? I guess they can smell I’m lonely and broken-hearted.”

  “Jayma! Hey, Jayma!” a voice called from a distance.

  “Who’s that?” I asked, looking around. On the other side of the street, someone was waving his arms.

  Holy shit. It was Tanner.

  “Oh my god. I know that guy from work,” I said.

  “Whoa. You know that guy? Shit. I’ve seen him jogging before. I nearly stepped in front of oncoming traffic just staring at him,” Shelle whispered.


  He ran across the street toward us. With his T-shirt tucked into the waistband of his workout shorts.

  Oh. My. God. He had no shirt on.

  And you know that tattoo I thought I saw poking out of his collar?

  It was a long string of musical notes. Was he a secret rocker?

  That would be seriously hot.

  I had to force myself to look up at his face and not his defined pecs, nor his perfectly flat stomach. It was torture.

  Shelle apparently felt the same way. She extended her hand without hesitation.

  “I’m Shelle, Jayma’s friend.”

  “Oh, hi. I’m Tanner, also Jayma’s friend. From work, that is,” he said, looking at me. He was missing her batting eyelashes, but that didn’t stop her from trying.

  “Tanner. What a surprise. You live around here?” I asked.

  “Yup. Just a couple blocks over that way,” he said, pointing up a steep hill. No wonder he was in such good shape. “So what are you two up to?”

  I shrugged. “Just taking a walk. Shelle has a dog walking business. I joined her on the walk so we could catch up.” Why was I babbling? All that was pretty obvious.

  Just then, one of the dogs in Shelle’s care took a big crap on the sidewalk. Tanner and I took a step away, and Shelle started rooting through her pockets for a plastic bag, dignity all but gone, as well as any interest in my handsome colleague.

  “So, I’ll see you at work tomorrow, yeah?” he said.

  “Oh, yeah. I’ll be there. See ya.”

  While Shelle was still struggling with dog shit—maybe they didn’t teach poop handling in the certification class—I watched him walk away. As he got to the bottom of the hill he’d pointed toward, he started jogging up it. Not walking, but jogging.

  Who the hell runs up a hill?

  Chapter 8

  DIG

  My buddy Carter had someone he wanted me to meet.

  I knew what that meant. The question was, did she want to meet me?

  We were kind of quiet about our particular proclivities. Not that we had anything to hide, and not that we were ashamed. It’s just that not everyone was as open-minded as we’d like them to be. But, hey, we were in San Francisco, where almost anything could go. Almost.

  We liked to date one woman.

  That is, one woman between the two of us. You know, like, share.

  We hadn’t dated anyone in a while, but we were feeling ready. We didn’t talk about it much—it was just something we knew. And when he told me about his adorable, newly single red-haired neighbor, I was all over it. If Carter said she was a sweetie, that was good enough for me. He had very high standards. I was the happy beneficiary of that.

  I was headed over to meet the two of them for happy hour at some little joint downtown. It had taken me forever to get out of the office, and I was late, thanks to clients. Turns out, if your marriage is on the rocks and you’re fighting like cats and dogs, then buying a home is not going to fix things. But you can’t say that to clients.

  Go figure.

  They—well, the wife—was pregnant, on top of everything else. Another attempt to save the marriage, I suppose. But they’d signed on the dotted line and written a giant down payment check. They’d get the keys to their new home soon, and I wouldn’t have to listen to them fight again.

  Well, until they split up and had to sell the house. They’d call me for that. I just knew it.

  I spotted Carter right off the bat when I arrived. The woman he was with had her back to me, so I couldn’t see her, but he was right about her hair. Long, thick red waves I wouldn’t have minded burying my face in. And if I played my cards right, maybe I’d get to.

  “Hello,” I said, clapping Carter on the back and extending my hand to the beauty before me.

  As soon as we touched, I knew. I knew I had to know this woman better, but that I also needed to take my time with her. One glance at Carter, and it was clear we were on the same page.

  She looked up at me with dark brown eyes and smiled. “Hi. I’m Jayma.”

  “Nice to meet you. I’m Dig,” I said, grabbing a barstool and pulling it up to join them. “Sorry I’m late, guys. I had a client issue.”

  “What kind of work do you do, Dig?” God, she had the most amazing freckles splattered across her face.

  “I sell real estate, and I currently have a fighting couple as clients. Good times. What about you?”

  Carter sipped his beer and smiled, watching us.

  “I work for an ad agency. I’m the receptionist right now, but I hope to move into working with clients soon. It’s a pretty cool place.”

  “Nice.” I turned to Carter. “And how was your day, my friend?”

  He nodded, looking from Jayma to me. “It was okay. Bid on some new jobs and made some progress on hiring more help. Usual stuff.”

  I turned to Jayma. “I’ve known Carter and his family nearly all my life. His parents treated me like I was their own when some bad stuff went down with my own family.”

  Her face lit up. “Oh, you guys are old friends. Like brothers, I guess.”

  Oh yeah.

  “We go way back,” I said. “Been through a lot together. And we hiked the entire Pacific Rim Trail when we were eighteen and came back alive.”

  Carter laughed. “I hated to come home, but Dig made me. He couldn’t hang.”

  “I don’t think so, brother.” I turned to Jayma. “Some of us just are not cut out for camping.”

  Carter nodded. “Some of us are wimps.”

  I rolled my eyes and laughed. “Anyway, Carter told me you have a little fixer-upper,” I said.

  “Yeah. It’s a fixer-upper, all right. Although, I’m not sure how fixed-up it’s going to get. It was a project my boyfriend and I were working on. I may have to default on the loan.” Her eyes weren’t quite as bright as they’d been a minute ago.

  “Default? No way. There must be something you can do. What about selling it?” I suggested.

  “I wish. I’m under water on it. I owe more than I can get for it right now. The plan was to fix it up and make a killing. But that does not seem to be happening now.” She took a draw on her beer.

  I looked at Carter and could tell he was pretty much thinking the same I was.

  “You know, since I work in real estate, I might be able to help you with some options,” I said.

  “Oh, thank you. That’s okay, but thank you.”

  “So what needs to be done with the house anyway?” I asked.

  She let out a long sigh and laughed. “How much time do you have? No, really, it’s a long list. It needs to be taken down to the studs in some rooms, new electrical, some plumbing. New kitchen and bathroom.”

  “Whoa. Jesus,” I said.

  “I’ve seen the house,” Carter chimed in. “It has great bones. Really awesome potential. It’s a shame the last owner let it go like he did. But it’s nothing that some hard work can’t fix.”

  “Well, there you go,” I said to her.

  “I’m sure you’re right about that.” She glanced at her watch. “Guys, I hate to break up a g party, but I have to get back to the office for a bit more work. I’ll see you both in the neighborhood?”

  We said our goodbyes, and she was gone.

  “Damn, buddy. That’s one woman I’d like to spend a bunch of time with,” I said.

  Seriously. I hadn’t realized exactly how cute she was until she was walking out the door. Tight skirt hugging her little butt, white blouse with the collar turned up, and some spike-heeled boots. She caught me staring when she looked back over her shoulder just before letting the door close behind her. I was busted.

  I didn’t care.

  I wanted her to know I was interested.

  “I feel the same way. We have a date set up for next week,” Carter said.

  “I know you’re looking forward to that, buddy.”

  “I am,” he said, nodding. “I am.”

  “So tell me. What’s the house really like?”
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br />   “Well, it’s a shithole at the moment. But, like I said, it would be a pretty straightforward job. Nothing too complicated. Really basic stuff.”

  “The stuff you do every day, right?”

  “Yup.”

  “Then, what are you waiting for?”

  He shrugged. “I’m not sure she wants my help. She seems kind of proud. And I tell ya, that boyfriend she had. What a douche. Totally had his head up his ass. Always acted like he was better than other people. Including her.”

  “Well, he was obviously an idiot. Who would let someone like her go? I sure as hell wouldn’t. You think she’ll be interested in our unique arrangement?”

  “Dunno.”

  “Well, I guess there’s only one way to find out.”

  Carter nodded. “And I think we’ll know pretty soon.”

  “I’m looking forward to it,” I said.

  My phone vibrated in my pocket, and as much as I wanted to ignore it and just enjoy my beer, I reached for it. Real estate was not a nine-to-five job. I had to be ready to deal with clients pretty much around the clock.

  “Oh Christ,” I said, looking at the caller ID. “It’s the fighting couple. I gotta go, man.”

  I threw some money on the bar, and even though Carter tried to give it back to me, I wouldn’t let him. He was always looking out for me.

  In more ways than one.

  Chapter 9

  JAYMA

  Hey!” Shelle hollered, running toward me with five dogs in tow. One of the smaller ones somehow got under her feet, but she righted herself just before wiping out.

  Who knew the life of a dog walker was so dangerous?

  “Ohmygod, you won’t believe it but one of the dogs I was watching got away yesterday. He ran and I couldn’t catch up, not with all the other dogs I had. Turned out, he was rounded up by animal control, and I had to go fetch him before the owners found out he’d gotten away.”

  “Good grief,” I said.

  “I know, right. Disaster averted. Barely.”

  We headed toward the Marina Green, one of the best dog walking places in the city. It was also one of the best places for guy-watching, and guy-meeting. Which was why Shelle liked it so much.