How Nina Got Her Fang Back: Accidental Quickie (Accidentally Paranormal Series Book 13)

by Dakota Cassidy

  Then Nina laughed with her. Their dynamic was that of every relationship Nina shared with another soul. Playful, full of banter, sometimes insulting banter, but always with the undercurrent of total and utter devotion.

  January didn’t know many who had the kind of fierce loyalty Nina possessed. For that matter, she didn’t know many who’d put up with the kind of verbal foreplay Nina found so amusing.

  Certainly, it tried her friends’ patience. Without a doubt, it taxed them now that she was weathering a crisis. But when they were all together, they moved as one unit. They meshed. They worked…they fit…and somehow, her abrasive remarks only added to her less-than-sunshiney personality.

  Ingrid tightened the corset laces on the top of Teddy’s uniform. “Damn. Look at your rack. Now I’m the one with some jelly.”

  Ingrid had managed to locate the catering service Artem used for these parties via some computer hacking and a little magic from January. They’d found the names and addresses of the staff without much trouble earlier this past week.

  Then January set about giving two of the waitresses the flu via a spell that would wear off within the day, but left them ill enough that they couldn’t work. She’d then snapped her fingers and put Teddy and Ingrid’s names at the top of the list of acceptable replacements for a party at Artem’s. Apparently, he had a very short list of approved employees—likely due to the fact that he kept close tabs on who was allowed in and out of his home.

  And voila, now they were here. Tonight was the night. If only all of the things they had to do this evening were as easy as the flu and some finagling of names.

  Now, via strict instructions from the caterer, Teddy and Ingrid were trying on their uniforms. Uniforms the caterer said were mandatory, also per Artem’s orders. Artem wasn’t just a total buttwipe, he was a womanizer, too, if he thought it was even remotely comfortable for these poor women to wear heels that high and skirts that short while they ran themselves ragged.

  January forced herself to try to focus on helping the women change into their skimpy costumes, determined to keep it together—for Calista, for Galen, for her sanity.

  Nina had abandoned her donut and was currently doting on Calista as she rocked in a chair between bouts of teasing Ingrid and Teddy about their clothing.

  “Who’s the prettiest girl ever-ever?” she cooed at Calista, who’d taken to Nina like a duck to water the moment she’d seen her this morning after a solid night’s sleep, snuggling right up against her side and resting her dark curls on the ex-vampire’s shoulder.

  As Nina held Calista up in the air and demanded she give her smooshies while she nibbled on the baby’s toes and the infant giggled, January’s heart tightened with love.

  Once more, she was reminded how good it was to see her baby—to have her little family in the same room. It hadn’t happened nearly as often as it should have since her birth, and she refused to consider what she’d do if they were parted.

  But she also noted something else while Nina cooed, cuddled, squeezed squeaky toys as Calista’s chubby hands grabbed for them, and lavished praise on her. Nina was amazing with everyone but her peers. And even then, some would say they didn’t much care that she didn’t relate well to people because her mouthy attitude was well worth the return in friendship—in loyalty.

  And January was coming to find that was true. She didn’t care how abrasive Nina was either. She liked her despite her cursing. She liked her a lot. She liked all of them a lot—even if their time together thus far had been short.

  “So, Doc, you feelin’ any better about this plan—or you still got the jitters?” Nina asked as she played peek-a-boo with Calista and the hood on the baby’s sweatshirt.

  “I have all the jitters,” January replied, intertwining her fingers together to keep from digging her nails into her palms. As the time for the women to attend the party grew closer, her anxiety swelled. “If someone ends up hurt, I’ll never forgive myself.”

  Teddy put a hand on Marty’s shoulder to balance herself as she slipped into the other shoe. “You know who’s going to end up hurt, don’t you? Me. When I crash-land on my ass in these heels,” she said on a chuckle, but then she looked at January and smiled in sympathy. “Stop worrying, January. I’m pretty tough, I promise you, and even though Ingrid’s human, she’s no slouch. I just want you to try to relax. Spend time with Calista and Galen and let us do the heavy lifting. The ladies and Darnell have their earpieces in. They’ll hear every word we say and know if we’re in any danger. Darnell drives the absolute best getaway car ever if trouble ensues. I think we’ve thought of everything. It’s going to be okay. I feel it.”

  She held out her hand to January and she took it, swallowing hard when the warmth of it touched her cold skin.

  Despite the heatwave they were experiencing, January was chilled to the bone.

  “Aye, dearheart. A sweater’s what ya be needin’,” Farley said, draping one over her shoulders, his words easy and soothing in her ears, his large presence beside her one of the best things life had given her.

  She caught his beefy hand as everyone around them prepared for this sting they’d jokingly labeled Mission: Infiltration Artem. “I’m terrified, Farley. Terrified. Just say it’s all going to be all right, like you used to when I was a kid and had a bad dream.”

  He squeezed her shoulders, pulling her to his stout side, brushing his bristly red beard over her forehead as he dropped a kiss above her eye. “I know, wee one. But I have a good feelin’ about these lasses. Their auras are strong. Their backbones stiff and sure. Good people, all. It’s going to be all right.”

  Farley and his aura readings were usually never wrong, and he was an incredibly good judge of character, but there was this small niggle in the back of her brain… “One little thing goes wrong and they get caught, Farley. Please tell me I’m not an idiot for going along with this against my better judgment.”

  “Aye, that’s just all yer schoolin’ talkin’. You’ve no street smarts. Ya don’ know how to take a chance anymore, January Malone. Sometimes ya have to take great risks to win the pot o’ gold.”

  She shivered, rubbing her arms. “If it were my own life we were talking about, I wouldn’t mind being so frivolous. But it’s not. It’s two people I hardly know who’ve jumped into the fray without a second thought for their own safety.”

  Farley dropped another affectionate kiss on the top of her head. “That’s what good people do, lass. They help. If only the world were filled with more like ’em. Now, off with ya. No more frettin’. It gets nothin’ done. The wee bairn hasn’t seen her mother in nigh on a week. Skedaddle. Go bond or whatever ’tis ya do according to those fancy magazines to keep them latched onto ya for life.”

  She chuckled, wrapping her arms around his burly middle and giving him a hug. “We’d have never made it through this without you, Farley. You know that, right?”

  Patting her back, he blustered, always embarrassed by her compliments for as long as she’d known him. “Aye. Now scoot,” he ordered, pinching her cheek before he left for the kitchen, where Archibald had buried himself.

  “Are we ready?” Greg asked. “Check your earpieces again, ladies.” He then whispered to them, commanding them to nod their heads if they heard him.

  As each woman dutifully nodded, Keegan said, “So whatever you do, don’t forget the deal. You get in, you play nice, you find somewhere to plant the recording device, you get the hell out, and Teddy uses her tracking skills to bring you back to the point Darnell drops you at. He’ll be waiting. Clear?”

  “Copy that, Boss,” Teddy responded.

  Heath handed Ingrid the tiniest recorder known to man, some high-tech gadget he’d found online and had tested personally since they’d hatched this plan. “This is voice-activated. It’s small, but still, be careful when you plant it. Hide that wherever you have to in order to keep it from being found, on the off chance they search you.”

  “Look away, Vampire,” Ingrid instructed on a
snicker as she shoved the recorder inside the bust of her dress.

  As they prepared to pile into the car Darnell would drop them off with—after which, he’d leave the scene before another car picked them up to take them to Artem’s—January had to steal gulps of air.

  An anxiety attack was on her list of things to do tonight—she knew the signs well, and she fought hard to keep herself in check.

  As Teddy and Ingrid put light sweaters on and Darnell and the others gave both women a hug, January grabbed her wand in a shaky hand to cast the cloaking spell over them.

  “You ladies ready?”

  “Does it hurt?” Ingrid asked, squaring her shoulders as though preparing for the pain. These people never ceased to amaze January. Even with the prospect the cloaking spell might hurt, they were still all in.

  “Well, I haven’t made anyone cry so far,” January joked.

  Teddy gave her the thumbs-up and Ingrid smiled and said, “Then whammy us.”

  Swishing her wand in the air, the slight electric hum buzzing beneath her ice-cold fingers, January began, “Fruit of thine essence, bend to my skill, mask and distort, be gone at my will!” A puff of colored smoke shot from the tip of her wand, shrouding the women before dissipating.

  Nina cackled, giving her arm a light punch. “Fuck, Doc. You’re officially the coolest shiz on the planet.”

  Ingrid waved her hand in front of her face, wrinkling her nose. “Okay, who gets the honors for the smell test?” she asked, leaning in toward the vampires of the group.

  Galen sniffed the air, followed by both Greg and Wanda, to test the strength of the spell. She might not know much, but her spells were some of the best in the biz.

  “Wow,” Greg whispered, his eyes full of disbelief. “This was the last glitch in the giddy-up for me. I wasn’t sure it could be done, but they both smell like vampires. Nice job, Dr. Malone.” He offered his fist for a bump with a smile of praise.

  “I’ll be damned,” Wanda agreed, sniffing Ingrid again. “You both smell like vampire. Well done, January!”

  Galen dropped a kiss on the top of her head. “Never doubted you for a second, honey. Good job.”

  Letting out a breath of air, she relaxed a little now that she’d passed the scent test. “Excellent. Now remember, this will only last tops, four hours. That means you have to get in, get out, and get back here before you’re discovered. Promise me you’ll be careful. Promise me you’ll keep track of the time. It’s crucial.”

  Ingrid winked a saucy eye, her spiky hair gone and now high on her head in a dark ponytail. “Four hours. Got it. Quit worrying.”

  January threw her arms around Ingrid’s and Teddy’s necks and whispered, “Goddess be with you. Be safe.”

  Teddy smiled at her, beautiful, perfect, confident and sexy as all hell in her tiny outfit. “We got you. This’ll all be over in no time flat. See you soon.”

  As everyone said their goodbyes and offered up well wishes, Galen pulled her close and tucked her shaking body next to his. “Here we go.”

  Yeah.

  Here we go.

  Chapter 11

  This’ll all be over in no time flat.

  Teddy’s words raced through January’s mind as she listened in horror while everything fell apart.

  It had all started so well. After reaching the pickup point, where they’d been stuffed into a car with someone to guard them on the ride, Ingrid and Teddy had joked about the scenery, landmarks, whatever they could use to define where they were going in an effort to keep everyone informed.

  At that point, January had almost begun to relax as they all eavesdropped on the women and their light chatter via headsets, while Carl, Charlie, and Hollis slept snugly in Archibald and Farley’s bedroom, and Calista slept in Ingrid and Teddy’s. Remarkably, neither woman appeared nervous or afraid—not in the least.

  When they’d slipped into Artem’s like they’d been doing this sort of thing all their lives, they’d made sure to describe everything around them—the house, the surroundings, even the landscaping as a just-in-case. After they’d passed the search of their belongings by the security guards, January had relaxed even more.

  Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad after all. So far, so good. They were in the kitchen, receiving orders from the caterer and headwaiter—do this, don’t do that, smile whenever anyone makes eye contact, don’t ask questions, keep things moving, blah, blah, blah.

  And still, everything continued to go well. Teddy hardly groused about the height of her heels as she carried tray after tray of blood and served what she estimated were about twenty vampires in total. The real kind of blood, she’d assured them. It was the talk of the staff.

  “That son of a bitch!” Greg had spat, reacting to the idea Artem provided human blood to his cohorts. “I don’t give a damn what clan you’re part of, integration into society says we never drink human or animal blood. Ever. It’s been that way for years now. Clan law.”

  “Damn,” Heath commented, running his hand over his stubbled jaw, his eyes full of concern. “Where the hell’s he getting it, you think? Galen? Any ideas?”

  Galen’s jaw had tightened and his fist had clenched. “I don’t know. I’d only heard rumors he served the real thing, but now that it’s confirmed, I can’t even begin to imagine. Hell, I almost don’t want to know.”

  “Shhh! Ingrid’s talking to one of them,” Nina said, and they’d all quieted to listen to the conversation—and January’s palms began to sweat.

  “Aw, aren’t you sweet?” Ingrid said in a syrupy tone, and then paused. “Nuh-uh-uh. The only thing I’m serving is drinks, Hands McGee, and I’ll thank you kindly to keep yours to your—”

  There was a grunt and a muffled thud.

  “Get out of there now, Ingrid!” Marty shouted, jumping up from the chair, pressing her fingers to her headset. “No-hands policy is officially in effect! Do not engage!”

  But then Ingrid came over the earpiece once again. “Listen, Buckeroo. I’m just the waitress and you’re giving me the stranger danger vibe, pal! Now, please move back. I can’t serve O-neg if I’m pressed up against a wall. You don’t want me to lose my job, do you?”

  “Ingrid, you listen the fuck to me—walk, fast. Get out! Find Teddy and bounce, goddamn it!” Nina demanded, slamming her fist against the solid wood coffee table.

  “Hey!” January heard Teddy exclaim. “Did you hear the lady? We’re here to serve you drinks, not sexual favors. Now back the hell off, buddy!” she hissed.

  There was more scuffling, the rustle of clothing perhaps, and then, “Get off me, you coffin lover!” Ingrid screamed, loud enough for everyone gathered in the living room to wince.

  January jammed a knuckle into her mouth to keep from screaming right along with her. Oh Goddess. This was bad.

  Galen stiffened at her side and grabbed her hand as he instructed, “Ingrid! Teddy! Get out! Get out right now. Forget everything and get out!”

  There was a loud clang, like something heavy falling to the ground, but the final nail in the coffin came from Teddy, who bellowed, “You spilled it everywhere! It’s all over our stupid dresses! They’re going to take that out of our pay, you dick!”

  January’s mouth went dry, her throat constricting. Oh Goddess, no. Something had apparently spilled on Teddy. That was bad enough. But if it had also spilled on Ingrid—

  “I said take your filthy, bloodsucking hands off me!” Ingrid howled.

  And then the worst bit of intel came like a punch to January’s gut—her worst fears confirmed.

  “How dare you call me a human, you animal!” Ingrid roared—just before the sound cut out and nothing but silence greeted their ears.

  Wrapping her arms around her middle, January rocked forward on the plaid sofa. “No,” she whispered in horror.

  “What?” Nina jumped up, grabbing January by the arm. “What the fuck just happened?”

  She could barely speak, barely breathe, but somehow she managed to form the words. “If someone spille
d something on them, it washes away the spell. Oh Goddess, I warned them! No, no, no!” she cried out.

  “So that freaky fuck knows for sure Ingrid’s a human?” Nina squeaked, her normally deep voice raising several octaves.

  “Yes!” January said as tears began to stream down her face.

  It had all gone so sideways, and no amount of brawn could change the fact that they had Ingrid and Teddy.

  Artem had them in his hot little hands—and he wouldn’t hesitate to kill them.

  * * * *

  “Then we just go and get them!” Nina screamed. “What the fuck is wrong with you lot, for Christ’s sake? Get off your lazy asses and let’s go hunt these bastards down!”

  “Nina!” Greg yelled, gripping her arm to swing her around to face him. “Stop, honey. Stop now. Please. You cannot—will not—go and get anyone. I forbid it!”

  Nina’s chest heaved, her face twisted into a mask of disbelief as she yanked her arm from her husband’s grip. “Who the fuck are you to forbid me to do anything, Lover? Last time I checked, I didn’t marry into goddamn servitude!” she shouted up at him.

  Greg’s mouth turned to a thin line of angry anguish. His emotions were as clear as the nose on January’s face.

  Grabbing Nina’s upper arms, he gave her a light shake. “Enough!” he roared back at her. “If I have to tie you up and restrain you myself, I will, Nina Statleon! You aren’t equipped to deal with even one madman vampire, let alone twenty! The hell I’ll watch my wife, the woman I love to near distraction, the mother of my child, haphazardly throw herself into yet another fight as though she’s still immortal! You’re a human, Nina. Human! Hear that? Human! You breathe. You eat. You’ll age, and the hell I’ll waste a single second of what’s left of our lives together, already knowing I have to live an eternity without you, while you carelessly take on something we both know you can’t defeat anymore, just so you can end up dead! I love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone. I need you with me for as long as humanly possible. Charlie and Carl need you, and if it’s the last thing I do, I’m going to protect you from yourself! Are we clear?”