SEAL's Baby (Navy SEAL Secret Baby Romance)

by Naomi Niles

  I was furious but I recognized that I couldn’t just go off, find Paul, and make him pay for what he had done to Lizzie. I was sorely tempted to, but I knew that it would only scare Lizzie. She hated violence and she hated men who sought after it.

  “Thanks for telling me,” I said and hung up before Maddie could say another word.

  I knew I was being rude but I couldn’t focus on that at the moment. My only desire was to get to Lizzie as fast as I could. I wondered why she hadn’t told me. Did she think I wouldn’t have been able to handle the situation or maybe she didn’t want me to see her face? Either way, I was going to go see her whether she liked it or not.

  I rode over there and went up to her apartment. I noticed the lights were all on in the house and I could hear her cat meowing. I stayed silent and pressed my ear against her apartment door. I could hear Lizzie’s soft footsteps as she moved around the apartment and I could even hear her murmur to the cat, though I couldn’t distinguish between the words.

  I straightened up and knocked loudly. I sensed her freeze from inside and I waited to see what she would do. I kept knocking irrationally, fueled by anger at what had been done to her.

  “Lizzie,” I said loudly when she didn’t answer. “It’s me. Open the door now.”

  I kept knocking until the door swung open and she was standing there in front of me. There was a purple bruise running down her right cheek and her right eye looked bloodshot and weak. I stared at her face thinking about the injustice of life. She did not deserve this.

  “What did he do to you?” I whispered.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  Elizabeth

  I took out the ice pack from the freezer and held it up to my sore cheek as Elvis purred at my feet. “Hold on, greedy guts,” I said fondly. “I’ll get your dinner in a second.”

  I felt relief flood my body as the ice numbed the right side of my face. I leaned against the kitchen counter waiting till the soreness had ebbed somewhat. I was just about to put it away when someone started banging on my door. I froze in shock and my first thought was that Paul was drunk and he had come to find me.

  “The gun,” I whispered moving instinctively towards the little gun I had in my bedroom drawer for safety. I had almost reached my bedroom when I heard him speak.

  “Lizzie, it’s me,” Dylan’s voice was clear as day. “Open the door now.”

  I breathed a sigh of relief and glanced at myself in the mirror. Things didn’t look as bad as they had a few days ago. My eye had healed fast even though it still looked tired and a little bloodshot. The bruise on my cheek was clearing up too; soon it would turn yellow and pale before it disappeared for good. I had no doubt that he had found out about Paul, and a part of me was glad I didn’t have to tell him.

  I changed course and went for my front door. He kept banging against it as though he were scared I wouldn’t let him in. I opened the door and his hand froze mid knock. He stared at me for a moment, taking in my appearance.

  “What did he do to you?” he asked.

  I shrugged it off as though it wasn’t a big deal. “This?” I asked. “This is nothing.”

  “That bastard!”

  “Come in and lower your voice,” I said ushering him inside. “I don’t want my neighbors knowing more than they need to.”

  He walked inside and I could tell from the set of his jaw that he was angry, very angry. I closed the door and turned to face him wishing I remembered what I looked like. He was staring at my face but his eyes were on the bruise on my cheek.

  “The bruise will disappear soon,” I said breaking the silence. “I’m starting work next week.”

  “That bastard,” he said again and I heard the fury in his voice. I had never seen him like this before. It was a different kind of anger, the kind that burned slow and hot. I could feel it rise off of him and it scared me more because it was so controlled.

  “Dylan,” I said carefully as I reached out tentatively and took his hand. “I’m fine, it’s just a small bruise.”

  “Small?” Dylan repeated incredulously.

  “Come and sit down,” I said pulled him towards my sofa. It took some effort to get him moving but he finally sunk down onto the sofa and I sat down opposite him.

  “How did you find out?” I asked.

  Dylan glanced up at me and I knew instantly who had told him.

  “Maddie huh?” I said with interest. “I expected more of her.”

  “Don’t be mad at Maddie,” Dylan said quickly. “She tried very hard to keep it from me, but …”

  “But?”

  “You know I can be annoyingly persistent when I want to be,” Dylan replied. “And I was going to come here anyway. I think she figured it was best that I had the information before I came over.”

  I nodded.

  “Maddie told me you went to the police station?”

  “We did,” I nodded. “I have a restraining order out against Paul now.”

  “Does he know that?”

  “I’m sure he does by now,” I nodded.

  “Did he … have anything to say about that?”

  “I got an apology card in the mail yesterday with some flowers,” I admitted. “It was addressed to me from Paul.”

  “It’s just like that arrogant cocksucker to think he hit you and then be forgiven with some cheap gesture.”

  “It’s more than I’ve gotten from him in the past,” I sighed.

  “It sounds like you’re defending him,” Dylan pointed out, his tone was chipped and hard.

  “I’m not,” I said shaking my head.

  “No?” Dylan asked. “He should be in jail.”

  “Dylan …”

  “You don’t think he deserves to be there?” Dylan asked. “If you are the type of man who can hit a woman once, then you’re the type of man who can hit any woman at any time.”

  “He was drunk, and he seemed … depressed, I guess,” I said. “I don’t think he knew what he was doing. It was like an instinctive reaction to the fact that I slapped him first.”

  “It certainly sounds like you’re defending him,” Dylan said and his tone grew cold again.

  I sighed. “I’m trying to be fair.”

  “Well stop,” Dylan said harshly. “Life isn’t fair, the things that have happened to you aren’t fair, and as far as I can tell, Paul has been the main reason for all of them.”

  “I don’t want to talk about Paul anymore,” I said firmly. “Except to say that I hope you don’t try and get involved with this.”

  “What does that mean?”

  “It just means, if you see him in the street, ignore him,” I said.

  “You’re trying to protect him?”

  “I don’t give a fuck about him,” I said raising my voice. “I care about you, and I don’t want you involved in this. It’s my mess, not yours, and I'm perfectly capable of handling it on my own. I don’t need a knight in shining armor, Dylan.”

  He stared at me for a moment and then he smiled unexpectedly. “I know that,” he said at last. “You never needed one. I just liked thinking of myself in that role.”

  I couldn’t help but smile at that confession. “And I appreciate that you want to step into that role for me, but it’s unnecessary.”

  “Ok then,” Dylan said with a small sigh. “I will hand over my armor to you.”

  “Thanks.”

  Dylan hesitated for a moment. “But …”

  “Yes?”

  “It’s taken care of right?” Dylan asked. “I mean, the restraining order will hold; Paul won’t be able to hurt you again?”

  “Of course it’ll hold,” I nodded. “I’ll make sure it does.”

  Dylan nodded and he seemed a little more at ease. He took a deep breath and I saw his body relax visibly. He looked over at me and I saw his eyes study my face. “You need to put some ice on that bruise.”

  “I was about to do that when you started hammering on my door.”

  Dylan got up and walked over to th
e fridge. I came back with the ice pack and pressed it against the side of my face. The ice burned but it sent waves of relief through my body. He waited till he had iced the bruise well and then he returned the ice pack back to the fridge.

  “Come here,” he said when he got back to the couch. “I want to hold you.”

  I felt my whole body lean in towards him, craving the touch of his hands on mine, but my mind was sending me warning signals. The last week had made me realize a few different things. I did have feelings for Dylan and they were stronger than was healthy but I also knew that we couldn’t hope to sustain a relationship after he left Bastrop. I needed to keep my feelings in check no matter how hard that was.

  I hesitated only for a moment before I moved closer to him and rested my head against his chest with my feet pulled up on the sofa. He kissed my forehead and the top of my head and I listened to the steady beat of his heart, trying to commit the feeling of intimacy to memory.

  “I’m leaving tomorrow,” Dylan said softly.

  I felt cold instantly and a part of me wanted to pull myself away from him and create some distance now. Another part of me wanted to pull him close enough that he would never even think of leaving at all. I stifled my raging thoughts and nodded.

  “That came around fast,” I said casually, covering over my distress.

  “It did,” Dylan nodded. “I can’t believe it’s over.”

  I wanted to ask him what he believed was over; was he referring to his time in Bastrop, his time with his family, or his time with me? I held back the question and stayed silent not knowing what else to say.

  “I’m going to miss you,” Dylan said kissing my head again.

  “I’ll miss you too,” I said distractedly, as my thoughts flew to next week when Dylan would be gone and I would be alone once more.

  “Let’s stay in touch,” he said abruptly, as though he had just made the decision moments ago.

  I glanced up at him. “That didn’t really work out the first time, Dylan,” I said.

  “I know, but this time is different,” he said as though he was trying to work out the particulars in his head. “We’re older now; hopefully that means we’re wiser and more mature. We can do it.”

  I looked away from him. He seemed so convinced that he was making me believe that we could do it and I wasn’t willing to get my hopes up just yet.

  “Lizzie,” his voice was soft and caressing.

  “Yes?”

  “I know why you’re so reluctant. I know I hurt you badly when I left, when I stopped writing back—”

  “No,” I interrupted as I sat up and faced him. “You’ve apologized for that, you don’t need to keep doing it.”

  “But—”

  “I have a confession to make,” I said cutting him off. “I probably should have admitted this long ago but I don’t think I even realized it until recently.”

  “What’s that?”

  “Well, at the beginning we used to call each other every week, do you remember?”

  “Of course,” Dylan nodded.

  “Well then the calls stopped and we starting writing letters to each other,” I continued. “Well, the thing is, when you’re letters started drying up, it was true that I was hurt but it was more complicated than that. I was so young and so confused that I didn’t understand all that I was feeling when the truth of the matter was that, I guess I felt … a little relieved.”

  “Relieved?” Dylan repeated and I heard the question in his voice.

  “When you wrote less, it gave me the excuse to write less too,” I explained, hoping that he wouldn’t misunderstand. “See, the thing that I never admitted to you was that I was terrified of what it would do to me if you stayed in the Navy and we stayed together. I knew that if we continued on with the relationship, then we would have eventually ended up married and then …”

  “You would have been the wife of a Navy SEAL,” Dylan interjected.

  “Yes,” I nodded. “I would have had to worry my whole life wondering if you were safe, if you would come back home. I would have spent the rest of my life living in fear, terrified to answer the phone because it might be someone calling to tell me that you’ve been wounded, terrified to answer the doorbell because it might be someone coming to tell me that you were dead. I don’t think I could have lived that life.”

  Dylan stared into my eyes for a moment and then he gave me a sad smile. “I guess it’s a good thing I never did it then.”

  “Did what?” I asked.

  He hesitated for a moment. “I wanted to propose to you before I left to enlist,” Dylan admitted in a low voice and I froze in place.

  “What?”

  “It’s true,” he nodded.

  “You thought about … proposing to me?” I repeated again.

  “I did more than just think about it,” Dylan went on. “I actually had a ring.”

  “What?” I gasped in shocked disbelief.

  Dylan nodded. “It wasn’t anything special,” he said quickly. “It cost me a couple of hundred dollars and I ended up selling it for half that price a year later, but I guess I wanted a seal on our relationship before I went.”

  I could only stare at him for a moment trying to let that sink in. “You never … you never told me.”

  “It didn’t end up being relevant.”

  “You didn’t end up proposing to me though.” I reminded him.

  “No I didn’t,” Dylan nodded. “I realized that if I had asked the question, you would have been forced to accept. After all, I was going off to enlist and serve my country. We were in love and we had no idea what life would be like after my training and after my first deployment. I was smart enough to realize that it would be selfish to force you into that kind of promise.”

  “Oh,” was all I could say.

  Dylan smiled at my dumbfounded expression. “I realized later that I was right,” he continued when I didn’t say anything more. “I saw what it did to all the boys who had to leave behind wives and children. Later on, I saw what it did to their wives and children and I knew I had made the right decision. I wanted you to be free to live your life, even if it didn’t include me.”

  I looked down at our linked hands and I realized that he was right. I would have accepted a marriage proposal if he had asked the question. We would have gone through with it if that had happened and my fate would have been sealed. I didn’t know that my life without Dylan had been any better, but I also knew that I couldn’t be a military wife. I just knew that better now than I did back then.

  “I guess things happened the way they were supposed to,” I said at last.

  Dylan nodded. “Maybe this journey was meant to take us somewhere greater.”

  “Let’s hope that’s true,” I nodded.

  Dylan leaned in and kissed me hard on the lips. It felt as though he were holding us together. I felt as though we were connected by more than just our bodies but by the expanse of history that we shared together. Maybe we were not supposed to end up together, perhaps that was never the point of this relationship at all. We had grown up together, we had learnt from each other and maybe that was the point.

  Our tongues entwined and I felt my heartbeat race up, fueled by his wandering hands and the way his lips felt against mine. I wanted him inside me, I wanted to feel him inside me, but I knew that we shouldn’t be travelling down that road now.

  We had had our time together and now it was coming to a close. If our relationship continued after this point, it would have to be a friendship that kept the lines firmly drawn. I pulled back before his hands could go any further down.

  “You’re leaving tomorrow, Dylan,” I whispered. “And I can’t let myself get any deeper into this than I already have.”

  He looked like he was going to argue, the passion was burning steadily in his eyes and then after a moment, I watched it go out slowly. He nodded once and loosened his grip on me. “I understand,” he said.

  “What time are you leaving tomorrow?”
I asked and the question tasted like sawdust coming out of my mouth.

  “In the morning,” Dylan replied. “After I have breakfast with mom.”

  I nodded.

  “Why don’t you join us?” he asked.

  “Thank you,” I said sincerely. “But I think it would be a little too … hard for me.”

  Dylan sighed but I saw the understanding in his eyes. I could see a little relief too, neither one of us wanted to fall to pieces with sad goodbyes and the uncertainty of our future relationship.

  “I guess we’ll have to say our goodbyes now then.”

  “Let’s not say goodbye at all,” I suggested quickly.

  “That’s a good idea,” Dylan nodded enthusiastically. “A goodbye implies that we’re never going to see each other after this and we’re going to stay in touch; I promise.”

  “Don’t promise,” I said gently. “Let’s just do the best we can. We had our beautiful relationship, and that was perfect, but now …”

  “We’re friends,” Dylan finished for me.

  “Yes,” I nodded. “We are friends.”

  “All right then,” Dylan said. “I guess I’ll be seeing you, Lizzie.”

  He rose from the sofa and I walked him to the door. He leaned in and pulled me to him for a kiss. We stood by the door kissing for five minutes before he finally broke away. His eyes were calm and tranquil but I could see the regret etched across them as though he was remembering memories that he couldn’t avoid.

  “I’ll be seeing you, Dylan,” I said repeated his words from a few moments ago.

  He smiled, kissed me softly on the lips again, and walked out the door. He didn’t look back and I didn’t expect him to. Looking back only kept you from moving forward.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  Dylan

  I couldn’t stop thinking about her. The knowledge that I was leaving only made it more impossible to keep her off my mind. I kept thinking of all the things we could be doing if we had just decided to stay together until I left for the airport. Everything felt like wasted time to me, but I knew she needed to disengage before she got her feelings too deeply involved.