Dormitory Dearest: A Sweet Lesbian Romance

by Nicolette Dane

  Nobody spoke up. I looked over at Anna Sacco who looked awake and chipper, watching on as Hosannah took the lead. I could tell that Sacco really liked Hosannah, probably viewing her like a protege. Next to Sacco was her wife, who I was unfamiliar with, but they struck me as two older, happy ladies who had it together.

  “Back to sleep,” said Hosannah, raising her clipboard and rolling her eyes. With a few unsteady steps down the aisle, Hosannah plopped down into the seat next to me and sighed, sticking her clipboard into the seat back in front of her.

  “Yay,” I said in calm faux-excitement. She looked over to me and widened her eyes.

  “Dude,” she said. “I am so tired.”

  “I’m sorry,” I hummed indolently, reaching over to her and threading my fingers into hers, giving her hand a squeeze. I laid my head back on the seat and slowly let my eyes begin to close.

  “Let’s keep this kinda secret,” she whispered, carefully pulling her hand from mine. Leaning over to me, she spoke softly into my ear. “Sacco is right over there and it might be a little weird for her because we’re sleeping in the same hotel room and all.”

  “Oh,” I said with disappointment, opening my eyes again and looking at her.

  “It’s not that I don’t want to hold your hand,” she said with a reassuring smile. “Let’s just be a little more discreet right now around Sacco and the other ALOHA students. Is that okay?”

  “Sure,” I said.

  The more I thought about it, the more I realized that Hosannah was right — no matter how badly I wanted to hold her hand. She worked for ALOHA, a paid student position, and it was certainly a bit of a conflict of interest. Sacco seemed like a nice woman, though, and I couldn’t imagine her being too perturbed about the whole thing. I was just excited, that’s all. Excited for what I felt happening between Hosannah and myself. There was this weird frenzy of drama building up inside of me, this feeling that I just couldn’t ignore. The easiest way to term it was to call it the inevitability of sex. Like, I was positive that sex was soon in the cards for me and Hosannah. It was a forgone conclusion.

  And I was so greedy for it.

  Hosannah and I had spent so much time together over the preceding week that I was kind of surprised it hadn’t happened already. It was just that every time we started making out, I would end up feeling like I was getting overheated, maybe a little over-excited, which increased my anxiety and caused me to pull back. But I really did want to go further with Hosannah. I wanted to experience what it would be like to, you know, be intimate like that with another person. I had spent so much time being intimate with myself, exploring myself for my own pleasure, that it would nice to finally know what it was like to do that with somebody else. I felt like I couldn’t really evade that part of life for very much longer.

  I looked over to her in the seat next to me, feeling the jarring bumps of the bus, and I smiled happily at her. At first she looked surprised, like she wasn’t expecting to be the object of my happy visage, making a bit of a goofy face back at me. But then she returned my smile warmly and made a kissy face. I wanted to kiss her lips. I wanted to touch her stomach. There was something so special to me about Hosannah, so perfect and so right. She came to me at a time in my life that I needed her most. Sitting there next to her, I felt included.

  “You’re creeping me out,” she said jokingly with a grin. “Stop staring at me so hard.”

  “Sorry,” I said through an impenetrable smile. I wasn’t sorry.

  “Let’s get a little more sleep and we’ll continue this bedroom eyes flirtation when we get to Stratford,” she said knowingly. “How does that sound?”

  “Okay,” I said. “But I can’t make any promises that I won’t reach over and hold your hand once you go to sleep.”

  Hosannah raised a single finger at me and teasingly chastised me. Even though it was early in the morning and I was only half awake, or perhaps because I felt so loopy from the lack of sleep, I couldn’t help myself from making a suggestive remark.

  “Will you put that finger inside of me tonight?” I whispered to her. Immediately Hosannah’s face brightened with astonishment. We hadn’t gone that far yet.

  “Be good,” she intoned, mimicking my whisper. “And you’ll get two fingers.”

  “Okay,” I agreed contentedly. I closed my eyes now and buried my head back into the headrest, a grin etched across my face. The ALOHA trip to the Shakespeare Festival was turning out to be much more exciting than I had anticipated. As I drifted back to sleep, I tried to imagine what my first time with Hosannah would be like, fantasizing to myself all the explicit details.

  *

  “Let’s head down to the river,” said Hosannah as we lingered in the lobby of the hotel. The other ALOHA students were congregating in their own little cliques, none of which I was a part of. However, just off to the side of us were the boys that Whitney was trying to get in with. Justin, Tim, and of course Henry, the boy who was now one of the only people around to have an inkling of my secret. I could feel them looking over to Hosannah and me and it made me wonder if Henry had told his friends what I had said to him.

  “The river?” I asked absentmindedly.

  “The Dragon Boat Festival,” said Hosannah looking dramatically annoyed. “Focus up.”

  “Sorry,” I mused. “I guess I’m still waking up or something.”

  “We’ve got about two hours until we should get to the theater to see King Lear,” said Hosannah. “Plenty of time to check out the Dragon Boats.”

  “Did you know that Justin Beiber is from Stratford?” I asked without much interest in the fact myself. It just felt like something to say.

  “Do you like Justin Beiber?” asked Hosannah incredulously.

  “Well, no,” I said.

  “So you’re just reciting factoids?” she grinned, shaking her head at me, finding me ridiculous.

  “Yes,” I said.

  “Did you know that Shakespeare was from Stratford-upon-Avon, England?” asked Hosannah in a tone dripping with sarcasm.

  “Yes,” I said. “Do you like Shakespeare?” A bit of teasing liveliness was beginning to enter my side of the conversation.

  “You’re driving me nuts,” said Hosannah. She moved in closer to me and then admitted in a whisper, “And I like it.”

  We left the hotel, along with most of the other ALOHA students, and walked through Stratford’s cute downtown area. The buildings were older and had charm, and they were filled with gift shops to accommodate all the tourists that the city welcomed. I was never drawn in by the usual kind of gift shops, mostly feeling like they were peddling unnecessary stuff, but Hosannah was the opposite. She was excited when we passed the chocolate shop, the art store, and especially the book store. I can admit, too, that I felt drawn in by the book store but ever since I got a Kindle as a birthday gift, I found myself far more attracted to reading books digitally. I think it was just the minimalist in me coming out.

  Although Hosannah was eager to peruse these various stores, she was much more immediately interested in getting to the river to see the Dragon Boats. The stores, she felt, could wait until the intermission between plays. I was just happy to be along for the ride with her. If I had come here to Stratford without someone like Hosannah, or Whitney for that matter, I probably just would have ended up in the coffee shop by myself, reading to pass the time, waiting for the plays to begin. I know, deep down, that no matter who I was I would be accepted by the ALOHA students. But I also felt a weird difficulty in relating to them.

  Hosannah, on the other hand, was like a bright beacon for me. I didn’t feel all that anxious around her. I mean, there was still a little bit of anxiety, of course, but that was more anticipation and excitement for what was to come than some sort of social nervousness. As we made our way through town and down toward the river, the thin long boats filled with people coming into view, I so wanted to put my hand into Hosannah’s and squeeze. But there were others around and I knew she would feel weird about
it considering she was essentially our chaperone.

  “Those are so cool,” reveled Hosannah as we neared the river. “Oh my God, I want to get on one so bad.”

  “Really?” I said. “What about them draws you to them?”

  “I really don’t know,” said Hosannah absently, staring down at the boats as we continued our stride. “They just look like fun. Maybe it’s the teamwork involved. Maybe I just want to beat the drum at the front of the boat!” she said, laughing, putting her hand over her mouth.

  From what I could tell, there were four boats lining up together at a starting line in the river and as we noticed this together, Hosannah quickly grabbed my hand and began to pull me along with her as she sped up her pace to get down to the riverside. I tripped a bit at first as we galloped, but I was happy to feel my hand in hers so I squeezed her tightly and moved my feet, content to keep up with her as she quickened to make the race. As we hurried, so did some of the students behind us, taking our cue as the first Dragon Boat race was about to begin.

  As we reached the river, Hosannah broke from me and leapt at the railing, gripping tightly to it with her eyes focused on the boats. I could see her shaking a little in anticipation and I found her enthusiasm over the race so incredibly endearing. I wanted to say something to her to that effect, to admit how cute it was that she loved this strange thing, but I couldn’t bring myself to break her concentration. Instead, I saddled up next to her and watched with her.

  A starting gun fired and the four boats began to move. The person at the head of each of the boats quickly beat a drum, the pace-keeper, the person in charge of making sure everybody on the boat rowed as they should. I admit it was quite entrancing. I didn’t notice until we were up close, but each boat also had a carved wooden head of a dragon at the front, painted in the same color scheme as the rest of the boat. Hosannah was hooting and shaking a fist in the air as the boats cut through the water and I was so gratified by her excitement that I wrapped a single arm around her waist and pulled against her in a quick hug.

  “Isn’t this awesome!” she exclaimed, slinging an arm around my shoulders to return my hug. “Dude, it looks so fun.”

  As we hugged and Hosannah kept her eyes trained on the race, the beating of the boat drums sounding off and mixing with the cheering from the crowd that had gathered, the excited calls from the rowers on the boats melting in as well, I got a quick little whiff of that coffee scent from Hosannah. I couldn’t place it. Maybe it was the way her shampoo mixed with her natural aroma. I know she didn’t wear any perfumes or anything. I didn’t always smell coffee around her, only sometimes, and I had yet to make the connection of exactly where it came from. Or what it meant.

  Looking past Hosannah for a moment, I saw the boys chatting with some other ALOHA girls, hanging against the railing. Henry caught me looking and offered me a smile and a wave. I demurred, shyly looking down for a moment, but then returned to his eyes and gave him a wave in return. It was weird, but right then I felt I had made another friend. Things felt like they were beginning to come together.

  “Yay!” called Hosannah along with many of the other spectators, throwing both arms up into the air. The race had come to an end, though I hadn’t really paid enough attention to know who won. It didn’t matter, of course, we didn’t have a pony in this race, but I knew that Hosannah’s enjoyment was purely in the experience of it all, perhaps imagining herself on one of those long ships, feeling the water splash up into her face, pumping the oar through the waves.

  “You really dig this, don’t you?” I asked with some amusement.

  “Totally,” said Hosannah, glowing as she looked at me. “I always look forward to coming to Stratford to see this. I swear, Tasha, I’ve got to do it myself sometime. Would you do it with me?”

  “I don’t know,” I said, looking away, uncertain.

  “I’ll make you do it with me,” she said with conviction. “And you’ll like it!”

  I just giggled and felt embarrassed.

  “Do you want to get moving?” asked Hosannah. “Maybe we could grab a coffee and a muffin or something before Lear starts?”

  “Yeah, whatever,” I said. “I’m down to just follow you.”

  “Hey,” she said in a whisper, leaning her face in toward me. “Do you know that ALOHA boy over there keeps checking you out?”

  “Oh,” I said, looking toward the boys, sizing up Henry. “Yeah,” I said finally. “I think you’re talking about Henry.”

  “I bet he’s got a thing for redheads,” said Hosannah, laughing and giving my hip a bit of a push.

  “He’s nice,” I said.

  “Are you sweet on him?” she asked in a jokey tone. “Do you like a boy, Natasha?”

  “I kinda told him I liked girls, I think,” I said quietly. “On accident.”

  “Oh!” said Hosannah, grinning at me from ear to ear. “So he knows you like girls then, huh?” She was poking fun at me. I know it was just her way of being cute. But I could tell that Hosannah had a difficult time appreciating how difficult it was for me to admit my sexuality to the world. I wanted to say something to her but I just couldn’t figure out how.

  “Let’s just get walking,” I said, stepping off from her and beginning my walk back toward the downtown area.

  “Hey!” she said, chasing after me. “Don’t be mad, Tasha,” said Hosannah. I could sense the change in her tone, going from jovial teasing to concern. She caught up with me quickly and walked alongside me. “I was just teasing,” she said in earnest. “I didn’t mean anything by it.”

  “I know,” I said.

  “What’s wrong,” she asked, a smile still on her face. Hosannah slipped her arm into mine and held me with a cute demeanor as we walked. “C’mon Tasha.”

  “Nothing,” I said. “I mean, I just have a more difficult time with this than I think you did.”

  “Oh,” she said, it all suddenly sinking in for her. “I get it.”

  “Yeah,” I said. “It’s just, you know, tough for me. I’ve got a lot of anxiety about it.”

  “Okay,” said Hosannah sweetly. She offered me an accepting smile. “I understand.” I just couldn’t stay mad at her. She was so cute and playful and I loved being in her company. And I knew, deep down, that I needed to learn from her. I needed to figure out how to accept all this for myself. How to accept the outside world into my inside world.

  “Thank you,” I said, my resident shyness rearing its head again.

  “Let’s go get a coffee,” she said. “Cool?”

  “Cool,” I smiled.

  *

  Hosannah and I sat together at King Lear, a bit off from some of the other ALOHA students that were also in attendance, we held hands the entire time. My mind sometimes had difficulty focusing on things going on in front of me, like plays and movies and stuff like that, so as we watched the performance, and even though I really do enjoy Lear, my brain wandered to thoughts of Hosannah. I imagined doing simple, everyday things with her. Eating with her in the cafeteria. Walking to class. Studying at the library. Sitting on her bed and watching something on her laptop. It certainly made it hard for me to appreciate the performance. Before I knew it, it was over.

  As we stepped out of the theater together with the rest of the audience, Hosannah stretched her arms up high over her head, her crumpled program in one hand. She smiled adoringly at me and I couldn’t help but return that smile.

  “Hey, um, excuse me,” I heard a voice say off to the side. Hosannah and I both looked over and Henry stood there, looking to jump into conversation with us. He was a sweet boy, lanky, his hair a mess. But I could tell he was kind. A good person.

  “Hello,” said Hosannah with a grin. “You are… Henry, right?”

  “I am,” he said.

  “How can we help you, Henry?” asked Hosannah, a playful glint in her eye.

  “I was just talking to Professor Sacco,” he said. “She’s still inside the theater. She’s looking for you. Something about the dinner r
eservations.”

  “Oh!” exclaimed Hosannah. “Great. Thank you, Henry!” She turned to me and smiled. “I’ll be right back, okay?”

  “Sure,” I said. And with that she took off, sliding along the concrete underfoot to find Sacco.

  After a moment of silence, Henry and I standing there together, he spoke up first.

  “Hi,” he said.

  “Hi,” I said.

  “Did you enjoy the show?” he asked. I really wasn’t a fan of small talk. It made me feel anxious. I was much more interested in talking about ideas. But, you know, it’s hard to just talk ideas with everybody all the time without coming off as a total weirdo.

  “Yeah,” I said. “Did Sacco really want to talk to Hosannah?” I said with some suspicion.

  “What are you trying to say by asking that?” said Henry, mirroring my suspicious glance.

  “I, um—“ I said, stammering. “I mean, were you just trying to get us apart?”

  “No,” he said with a curious smile. “Sacco really is looking for her. But I did want to talk to you also. So I guess it just kind of worked out.”

  “Okay,” I said cautiously.

  “I’m just wondering, you know,” he said, he himself obviously having a difficult time with words now as I so often did. “Is that, um, lesbian thing — I mean, for you — is that a hard and fast rule?”

  “What?” I said, having trouble following him.

  “I mean,” he said with a stammer. “Is it, for sure?”

  “Why are you asking me this, Henry?” I said, looking down to my feet, feeling embarrassed and kind of lonely without Hosannah at my side.

  “Ugh,” he exclaimed, shaking his head. “I’m sorry. My friends think I’m crazy for doing this.”

  “Doing what?”

  “I didn’t tell them anything,” he said, putting his hands up and getting a little defensive. “But, you know, they kind of have their suspicions… with the way you and Hosannah are hanging out.”