‘And now you live passionately?’
‘Trying to.’ And yet, it seemed as if that passionate life still eluded her. It was just out of grasp and instead of passion, Nina had a lot of drama, which wasn’t the same thing at all. And then, because they always ended up talking about her, she asked, ‘What things are you passionate about?’
‘I don’t really do passion,’ Noah said in an unconcerned manner as if passion was no big deal. ‘I’m a pretty middle-of-the-road kind of guy.’
Nina couldn’t help the face she pulled. ‘You must be passionate about something,’ she insisted.
Noah shrugged. ‘I’m really not.’
‘Do you think it might be a case of still waters running deep?’ Nina asked hopefully, though it shouldn’t really matter to her if Noah was a passion-free zone.
‘I’d say my waters are pretty shallow. Frozen, even.’ Noah sounded amused at Nina’s persistence. ‘Bit of a cold fish, so I’ve been told; that I don’t let people get too close.’
Oh God, it was obvious that what had happened at school had left Noah with serious trust issues and deep emotional scars. Paul had ruined him.
‘Nina, there’s no need to look quite so broken about my lack of passion. There’s all sorts of things I like a lot,’ Noah said and it still sounded as if he was half-teasing her. ‘I like cocktails and laser tag, obviously. Food. Work, but also life outside of work and going on adventures. And of course I’d like someone to share those adventures with.’
‘What kind of adventures?’ Nina asked. The closest she ever came to an adventure was trying to blag her way into an after-hours drinking club on a little side street between Oxford Street and Tottenham Court Road, which didn’t seem like Noah’s kind of adventure. ‘I suppose you’re looking for a pretty intrepid sort of girlfriend who’d be up for kayaking down the Amazon. Trekking through the Hindu Kush? That sort of thing?’
The sorts of things that Nina would never do in a million years. ‘I think my days of doing anything that means I have to have vaccinations for malaria and yellow fever are over. But I do want to take a six-month sabbatical before I move back to the UK for good so I can do a road trip across the States. Stop in every state. Stay in motels, eat in diners, see all the sights from the Grand Canyon to Graceland.’
‘That sounds amazing,’ Nina breathed, as their nachos finally arrived. ‘I’ve never been to America, but I’d love to go …’
‘Well, we’ve only been on two dates, and there hasn’t even been any kind of funny business yet, so let’s see how things develop,’ Noah said dryly and quite rightly, Nina was horrified. And blushing again. She never blushed so much as she did when she was with him. Maybe she was going through an early menopause.
‘I wasn’t hinting,’ she said huffily. ‘Like Posy would give me six months off. Haha!’ she choked out a laugh to show she was joking too. No wonder Noah was giving her another one of those assessing, analysing looks that always made her nervous. She cast around for something less fraught to talk about.
‘So … you didn’t come back to London with the intention of staying then?’
‘I didn’t. I was meant to just come back for a Christmas visit but then I found out that my dad’s been diagnosed with MS …’
‘Oh God, I’m sorry …’
‘It’s early stages but he and my mother are convinced that Western medicine will see him into an early grave and that he should treat it with Chinese herbs and meditation, so I want to be around to help out more and, I don’t know, Britain just feels like home.’ Noah shrugged again. ‘Also, since I’ve been away, I’ve acquired two nephews and a niece and I’d quite like to see them grow up, be their favourite uncle, that sort of thing.’
Nina had no trouble understanding the ties of blood. ‘Truth. My two nieces, Ellie and Rosie, are my absolute favourite people in the world. In fact, I like them so much that I’ve agreed to go to a soft-play centre for Ellie’s birthday party.’ She paused with a cheese-laden nacho halfway to her mouth so she could fully contemplate the horror of what she’d agreed to. ‘The party starts at ten on Sunday morning. I didn’t even know that there was such a thing as Sunday morning. I usually sleep in until lunchtime.’
Noah didn’t nod in agreement this time because even though it was past ten on a school night and he was on his third gin and tonic, it was obvious that he was a morning person. ‘Early start then?’
‘Yes, but I’m actually going to Worcester Park on Saturday evening for a girls’ night out with my sister-in-law,’ Nina explained heavily. On balance, a Saturday night in Worcester Park had to be better than getting up before eight on Sunday morning. When Nina had told Chloe that she couldn’t bear the thought of staying at her parents’ and spending Saturday evening with her mother, Chloe had said that if she didn’t mind kipping on their sofa, they could have a girls’ night out. ‘All Bar One has been mentioned,’ Nina told Noah with a mournful expression. ‘And I can’t even get drunk because I have soft play in the morning and then in the afternoon, I’m getting the next part of my tattoo done.’
‘So, tattoos and hangovers not good?’
‘So not good and I speak from bitter experience.’
‘Well, if it’s any consolation I’m going back to Worcester Park on Saturday night too,’ Noah said. ‘Nothing as exciting as All Bar One. My sister and her husband are going to a wedding and their babysitter bailed and I was the only person who could stand in at such short notice.’ He sighed.
‘Are you worried about being responsible for keeping your nephews and niece alive?’
‘Not as worried as I am about having to change a nappy.’ Noah grimaced. ‘It turns out that there isn’t an app that can help with that.’
‘There really isn’t. I’d practise holding your breath if I were you.’
Noah gave a theatrical shudder, which made Nina laugh. She could have stayed there all night, their legs brushing under the table. But it was a school night and they were deep in the wilds of East London. So when Noah asked Nina if she wanted another drink, she regretfully declined.
‘We should probably get going,’ she said and when they left, Noah placed his hand at the small of her back to guide her and Nina was suddenly glad that she wasn’t wearing heels because her legs became alarmingly jelly-like. Whether it was due to the potency of the spiced-pear martinis she’d been drinking or Noah’s touch, Nina couldn’t – or wouldn’t – say.
All she knew was that when they were finally settled in the back of a ruinously expensive black cab (after Noah insisted that Nina was dropped off first even though they were going in completely different directions), they ended up seated so close to each other that another couple of centimetres, and technically Nina would be sitting on Noah’s lap.
Normally she’d have something saucy to say about that state of affairs but Nina was starting to feel as if she’d left normal two non-dates ago. ‘Sorry,’ she said and tried to shift away so Noah had more room but he put his hand on her arm.
‘Don’t,’ he said in a voice that sounded dark and desperate and as sexy as hell and instead of moving away, Nina found herself moving even nearer so that they were almost nose to nose and she could see the ring of hazel around his pupils.
Could also see up close that delicate flush that settled on his skin whenever his emotions were heightened even though he’d said that his emotions were always tightly reined in.
Could count every single one of his freckles but she’d barely counted up to five when Noah lifted his hand to her face to gently tug her even closer, and Nina couldn’t say who kissed who first, only that they were kissing.
Oh God, I’m kissing Noah Harewood! Not that Nina needed the headline when she could feel Noah’s mouth moving tentatively on hers, his thumb caressing the delicate, hyper-sensitive skin behind her ear.
Nina was powerless to resist the urge to slide even closer still so that their bodies were pressed tightly together and they were kissing without hesitation now. Nina’s hands were cla
sped in Noah’s glorious hair and the sinuous movement of his tongue echoed the way his thumb was now rubbing on her pulse point and she couldn’t help the greedy moans that leaked from her mouth.
They broke apart so they could both suck in a much-needed breath and then Nina was pulling Noah in for round two and this time there were wandering hands, which led to some low-level fondling and Nina accidentally ripping a button of Noah’s shirt until they were interrupted by a cough over the intercom, then the cab driver saying, ‘Are you sure I can’t do the Bermondsey drop-off first?’
‘I’m not going to act the lady among you, for fear I should starve.’
Forty-three hours later and Nina was still a bit starry-eyed and kiss-sore from the cab journey as she headed to Worcester Park on Saturday evening with her overnight bag and very low expectations for the evening ahead.
She had strict instructions to go straight to the All Bar One in nearby Sutton to meet Chloe because ‘if you swing by the house to dump your stuff and the girls see you we’ll never get them to bed.’
Though she’d take the truth to the grave with her, the thought of a quiet Saturday night in with Chloe and Paul and maybe a takeaway curry and a film on Netflix would have been a lot more appealing. Especially as Nina really couldn’t drink more than two small glasses of wine if she was spending all of Sunday afternoon and a significant part of Sunday evening being tattooed.
She also wasn’t in the mood to spend an evening fending off the attentions of any lone wolves on a Saturday-night prowl. Nina was never going to find her one true love in an All Bar One in Sutton on a Saturday evening. Even if he did make himself known to her, Nina would have to reject him on principle and even though he wasn’t her one true love, she couldn’t stop thinking about Noah. Specifically, being kissed by Noah and Noah saying with a laugh as the cab dropped her off first, ‘I’m so glad that we didn’t wait until the third date to get up to a little bit of funny business.’
There was going to be a third date. Not even a non-date but a proper date. Or Nina hoped that there was going to be, but it hadn’t even been forty-eight hours so it was too soon to make plans. Forty-eight hours was the minimum industry-standard waiting period before contacting someone you’d been on two dates with to enquire about their general well-being and to lock down a third date.
Of course, Noah could have got in touch with her. Nina had hoped he would, but he hadn’t. Probably because he was very busy with work or else when he’d replayed their date, from the first sight of the Ye Olde Laser Experience poster to Nina standing on the pavement and waving goodbye as he sped off in the cab, he’d decided that he didn’t want the third date.
Maybe the kissing had been substandard compared to what Noah was used to, although Nina had never had any complaints about the quality of her kissing before.
Nina wasn’t used to these doubts. She didn’t like them at all. Didn’t like that Noah could make her feel like that girl who’d once thought that a Saturday night out in Sutton was the best of times.
It was fair to say that the feelings she had towards Noah were complicated, confusing and so until she worked them out, any Sutton-based Casanovas could do one.
In fact, as Nina changed trains at Waterloo, walking against the tide of the bridge and tunnel crowd heading into the West End from the suburbs for a big night out, she could feel dread swirling about her blood then settling in the pit of her stomach like a dodgy kebab that refused to digest.
By the time she was ushered into the All Bar One on Hill Street by a pair of bouncers, ignoring the catcalls from a gang of lads smoking outside who’d obviously never seen a woman in a figure-hugging cherry-print dress with pink hair before, Nina couldn’t wait until Sunday lunchtime when she’d head back to civilisation.
‘Blimey! Will you look at that?’ she heard a woman mutter to her friend as Nina sidled past them towards the back of the huge space where a text from Chloe promised that she was waiting on a banquette with a bottle of rosé.
You’re not in Kansas anymore, Toto, Nina thought to herself then she saw Chloe waving at her and pinned on a smile.
‘Ready for our girls’ night out?’ Nina asked brightly, as she took in the five other women assembled on their two banquettes. ‘Shall we see if we can find a quiet table?’
‘Oh, sorry. Girls’ Night Out has become Mums On The Razz,’ Chloe explained with an apologetic little grimace. ‘You don’t mind, do you? You can be an honorary Mum.’
‘Or token aunt! Of course I don’t mind,’ Nina said, her smile increasing in manic intensity, as she looked around at the other women and caught a little side-eye exchanged between two of them as they took in Nina’s tattooed arms as she slipped out of her leather jacket. ‘The more the merrier, right?’
Space was made on a banquette for Nina, unfortunately on the other side of the long low table that divided the two sofas so she was on the opposite side to Chloe. She smiled uneasily at the woman next to her, Kara, and was rewarded with an uneasy smile back.
Chloe’s friends had all done NCT classes together or Mummy and Me toddler playgroups or were school playground pals so mostly they talked about their children. How little Nathan was still teething and Anjali had been slow to talk but now she never shut up. As one woman complained that her three-year-old twins hadn’t got into their first-choice nursery, Nina realised that she’d been in the same year as her at Orange Hill. She stiffened. Glanced around at her drinking companions for the night and was pretty sure that another two of them had been in the year above her at Orange Hill. It wasn’t only Noah who had bad recollections about their time at secondary school.
You are more than this, Nina told herself. You live in Bloomsbury and you work in a bookshop and you have lots of interesting friends and tattoos and you’ve recently been on two non-dates with a man who isn’t like any other man you’ve ever been on a date with.
She did feel a little better to be reminded that you really could take the girl out of the London Borough of Sutton. Then she also reminded herself that it was almost forty-eight hours since she’d last seen Noah and it wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world to send him a friendly text. Just thinking about what it would be like if he suddenly walked into All Bar One, relieved from his babysitting duties, was enough to make Nina ride out a little shiver and put a finger to her lips, which still seemed hyper-sensitive since the kissing they’d got the other night.
How are you getting on? Have you had to change a nappy yet? I’m in All Bar One with a gaggle of ‘Mums on the razz’. Do you want to swap places? Nina x
She deliberated over the ‘x’ for a little bit but after all the ‘xxx’-ing on Thursday night, it seemed rude not to. Nina pressed ‘send’, smiled vaguely at the mums on either side of her who were now discussing baby-led weaning, whatever the hell that was, and waited for Noah to reply with some anticipation.
And she waited.
And she waited.
And she waited some more.
Even if Noah had actually been changing a nappy, he had to be done now. Had nothing left to do but text Nina back but he hadn’t and she didn’t want to be that woman (though being back on her old stomping grounds always made her feel like that woman) but Noah’s text silence troubled her deeply.
Did he not like her, even though he was the one who’d asked her out on that first date? Had he only agreed to the second date to be polite? And what about the kissing? Had it really been below par? Nina bristled on her banquette. Well, she’d always had rave reviews before!
Nina stared angrily at her phone, then, just to check that she still had other options, she logged on to HookUpp, which she still hadn’t got round to deleting. Within seconds, unlike the text function of her phone, it was beeping with matches from guys who’d seen her picture, liked what they saw and had up-swiped her.
‘Oh! Is that that dating app?’ asked Kara, unashamedly staring at Nina’s phone. ‘My younger sister is on it all the time. Says she’s been matched with some real mingers.’
>
‘Mingers is right,’ Nina said. ‘Look at this one. He can’t be more than twelve!’ She clicked on the message he’d just sent her.
‘Is that … is that a penis?’ Kara shrieked and covered her eyes.
‘No biggie,’ Nina said, holding up her phone. ‘Literally. It’s just a dick pic.’
There was a chorus of shrieks then Chloe said proudly, ‘I live the single-girl life vicariously through Nina. She has the best stories. Tell them the one about the bloke that worked in the betting shop.’
Noah might not have texted her back but that was all right because Nina was wild and free. The token single girl mining her rich seam of bad dating stories (‘and that’s when he decided to rest half a pint of lager on his erect penis and that’s when I decided to make my excuses and leave’) for the horrified delight of Chloe’s friends. She could feel their smug satisfaction that they were already matched up and would never have to log into HookUpp, or worse hook up with someone from HookUpp.
Nina never minded providing the floorshow; often at work, if the shop was quiet, Posy and Verity would beg for a story from her dating repertoire, and now it broke the ice.
It didn’t take long for Chloe’s friends to realise that underneath the pink hair and the tattoos, Nina was a right laugh. And Nina realised, with a little shame, that Chloe’s friends were perfectly lovely and that when it was almost impossible to get a babysitter and you were usually in bed before News at Ten because none of their kids would actually sleep through, then Saturday night at All Bar One in Sutton was the equivalent of a week in Las Vegas.
They’d all bonded by the time they were deep into the third bottle of rosé, Nina desperately trying to make her second and final glass last as she and Chloe’s best friend, Dawn, chatted about how Nina could optimise Happy Ever After’s social media and start racking up followers who would hopefully all want to buy romantic novels. Dawn had set up an Instagram account for her two French bulldogs, Eric and Ernie, and in the space of a year had over fifty thousand followers and companies sent her free stuff, everything from organic dog treats and cotton hoodies to flea treatments. She even had partnership deals so she was more or less getting paid to post pictures. Nina couldn’t even imagine how Posy might react if she came up with a new revenue stream for the shop – she’d probably have to have a bit of a lie-down.
Crazy in Love at the Lonely Hearts Bookshop Page 17