North
Page 44
“Do they often drop bombs?”
“Very seldom! … more and more seldom! … they shoot them all down! … the passive defense! … the flack, you know …”
When it comes to lifting morale, I have no rival, here, there, or anywhere else … always the right word! … if we were pulling into. Hell, I’d call it the “perfect heating plant”! … I’d have them all in stitches, they’d ask for more! don’t they ask for more war?… wiggling their asses! … “peace! peace!”… bleating hypocrites! … the crematorium, that’s what they want! a nifty one! nifty and final!
This character’s getting on my nerves with his accounts and his kassa! … he should finish his messkit! … ah yes, his two ccs. to make him sleep! … I don’t boil the needle … what with? … I inject … he dozes off immediately, good, I’ve done what I could … but there’s something else! … Leonard and Joseph … what about them? … I can’t look after everybody … and Bébert … I think I heard him … he’s moaning … he wasn’t so young even then … he lived another seven years … I brought him back here to Meudon … he died here after many more incidents, dungeons, bivouacs, and ashes … all Europe … he died nimble and graceful … perfect … he was jumping in and out the window that same morning … we’re sitting there laughing, oldsters born … let’s leave him … and go upstairs!” I decide … to our tower niche … we’d see tomorrow … tomorrow … at the crack of dawn …
That tomorrow was long in coming … I’m not nervous … certainly not! … but something struck me … I remember … at exactly two in the morning … I’d asked Kracht to lend me a “torch” … I look at my watch … Bébert growls … he never growls … right! … there’s somebody outside! … on the stairs … one of the Dienstelle crowd? … they never budge at night … they stay in their rooms, even when there’s an alert … the trembling of the walls? … no! … it’s a stair creaking … squeaking! … more little squeaks! … yes, it’s the stairs! … Bébert growls again … I’ll go see … I don’t want to wake Le Vig … a scream! … two screams! … screaming and yelling! … the stairway’s full of them … clouts! … wham! … bam! … a brawl! … up above us … where the lady secretaries live … sounds bad! … a pack of women! and men’s voices! … Lili and Le Vig roll out of the hay … they ask me what’s going on … no idea! … they’re clouting and yelling, that’s all I know … I open our door … Christ! … the whole staff … fighting like mad … their floor sticks out over the void … a kind of balcony … not with each other, all against two women … I go up, I see the whole thing with my “torch” … I see the two women they’re clouting! bashing! biting! … “hilfe! help!” they’re yelling! it’s Inge and la Kretzer! what have they been doing up there? … getting ready to chuck them over the railing! … what’s the story? … ah, they’re shouting, they tell us … they’d been setting the place on fire! … bet your life! look at the bottles of alcohol! … I could smell it … all over the stairs from the drawing room … to the old bag’s room on the third floor … wanting to burn us all up? … exactly! … all the way up to Marie-Thérèse’s place! … four bottles of denatured alcohol …” I hadn’t been mistaken when I heard the floor creak … neither had Bébert … Inge and la Kretzer who never talked to each other … they’d got together to set the joint on fire! … and now they’re going overboard! together! … I’m not interfering, we’d go for a sail too! the husband turns up! they all start jabbering! … the bookkeeper … he’s threatening … threatening what? … I can’t exactly make out … he never raises his voice, now he’s bellowing … ah, Kracht! finally! … where’s he been? he’s wearing his dressing gown … what’s all this? … “setting fire … !” they tell him, they show him the three bottles … he sniffs … to see for himself … I go up to the next floor with him … the old bag’s door! … sure thing! … it’s still wet! … one match and the whole place! … we and our straw, narrow squeak! … the Revizor would have cooked too, and the Dienstelle ladies … then suddenly smash! … bam! … the ladies are starting in again! “Snot-nose! criminal! tart!” … their opinion of Inge!
More than twenty of those broads on her tail! … they can’t fail … she’ll take a flier! … we’re looking down from above … Kracht knows what to do … his big Mauser! … again! … two shots at the ceiling! … crack! crack! … and they all split! like panicky mice! … back to their pads … it’s all overt … nobody left on the stairs but the three of us and Kracht … and la Kretzer and Inge von Leiden … the ladies are a mess … bleeding and bitten all over … their dresses are gone … rags! … but they’ve got off easy, thanks to us … they’d have been erased … close call! … but this isn’t the end of it … measures will have to be taken … “measures” are Kracht’s business …
“Doctor, I can’t leave them here … the whole village would mob them …”
“Oh, I don’t doubt it! … I don’t doubt it, Kracht!”
“They thought they’d set the house on fire, didn’t they?”
“Oh yes! definitely! … five quarts of alcohol!”
Slight exaggeration …
“I can’t send them anywhere … I’ll lock them up right here … well, around the corner … in the isbas …what do you think?”
“Perfect! … perfect!”
Excellent idea! … but I wasn’t so sure they’d stay put!
“Who’ll guard them?”
“The bibelforschers?”
He gives me the details … of his idea … just one of the isbas … they’d been built for the Finnish doctors … their ship must have broken down … someplace …very unlikely they’d ever get here! but the bibelforschers? would they be willing to guard them? … a hitch … they’d be willing, but not armed! convicts, jailbirds, but no guns! … not soldiers! the Scriptures! … radical antimilitarists! … they’d always said no! … if Adolf had given up, Kracht certainly couldn’t make them bear arms! never mind! he’d put them both! … Inge and la Kretzer … in the big isba! and four bibels at each door, armed with their picks and shovels … my ideal I give it to him free of charge …
“Excellent! what could be better? … but the little girl? … and the husband … Herr Kretzer?”
Certainly, sure thing! all together!
“You’ll go and see them every day! … twice a day!”
All right with me … and Kracht at night, he wants the night shift … every hour! … we know our shepherdesses! … oh yes, and let’s not forget our Gypsies! … hourly visits for them too … every hour! nothing biblical about them! … dangerous no-goods! … fine and dandy! that’s our program … day and night! … our work’s cut out for us! … and if we ever see Harras again, well ask him what he thinks of all this! … if he ever turns up! Kracht goes down to get some rest … we’ll try too … he’ll escort Inge and her new friend … we’ll wait for him … fine, but how’s Le Vig doing? he’s not asleep …
“Say, Le Vig, do you remember Baden-Baden?”
He gropes …
“No, Ferdie! no!”
“And Madame von Dopf?”
He gropes some more …
“No …”
“And Berlin? … Faustus?”
“Wait! wait! sort of …”
I point …
“Berlin’s over there! … d’you hear? boo-oom! … d”you hear Berlin? they’re dropping bombs!”
“So they are, son! … right you are!”
He repeats with me: boo-oom!
“They never stop! … remember? … the Chancellery!”
“You really think so?”
I don’t mind his doubting … the Chancellery and the bombs … but I wouldn’t want him to stage his scene again … he’d got away with it once, these people know him … but suppose he did it somewhere else? …
“Listen to me, Le Vig … just go boo-oom! … don’t do anything else! … Kracht’s coming back!”
“Think so?”
“Yes! yes! yes! I hear him!”
You can imagine, we didn�
��t sleep very soundly that night … it gets to be a habit! … we didn’t want to be taken by surprise … Inge and la Kretzer in the isba … guarded by the bibels … nothing to feel very secure about … they’d certainly be back … they’d escape … and they’d be ripping mad! … so what? … Kracht was supposed to drop in on them three times between midnight and six o’clock … at seven it would be my turn … quite a ways off … soon as I saw a bit of light I’d get up … it was cold … a little snow was coming in through the dormer window … I switch on the “torch”! … right! … big flakes … Lili and Le Vig aren’t asleep either … I ask him … I want to take him by surprise …
“Hey, Le Vig!”
“What?”
“You remember? … what the Gypsy woman said?”
“No!”
“That you killed Simmer, that’s what!”
I tell him …
“No! I didn’t kill anybody! … you’re making it up, Ferdie! it’s a lie!”
Point blank … gives him a turn …
“I told you that to wake you up!”
“I’ve got news for you! You’re a sap!”
“Right you are, son! put it there!”
We shake hands … no hard feelings … I’d wanted to see … he’s better … maybe I’d been too brusque … oh well … we shoot the shit until about six … I scramble out of the straw …
“You two just take it easy! … I’m going to the isba … right back!” … No! … they want to come with me … good! … suits me … but quick! … you can’t deny it, once you stop taking your clothes off … what a time-saver! … greased lightning! look at firemen … they don’t think, they jump! … half a minute, they’re harnessed and out! … that’s the cadence for the human race! … no time to think … harnessed and out! down the stairs … the peristyle! … I look at my watch … okay! … Kracht sees us … just back from the isba …
“You’re going, Doctor? … they’re impossible! … the whole village is bringing them furniture … you’ll see! … the bibels are building them a stove! oh yes! … you’ll see! out of bricks! … they’re impossible!”
Tough babies to handle! I’d suspected as much … let’s make it quick! … quite a blanket of snow … end of October … we’re not alone! … the whole village is out there, toting furniture, chairs and cushions … for the prisoners! the village had beep empty last time! … where’d they been hiding? … they just didn’t want to see us! … now they’re all running to the isba! … what enthusiasm! what energy! what movers! with a crowd of kids, barefoot … they’re carrying stuff too … pots and basins … the ladies are setting up housekeeping … mostly Russian kids, I think … they know us … they stick out their tongues at us and call us names … lots of names … dirty, I bet … and laughing … now they’re all carrying bricks … they collide, they knock each other over … bricks and all! … and they pick themselves up! … and fight and grapple! boom! … boo-oom! even the tiny little ones go boom! … imitating bombs! over there on Berlin! and zzzz the planes! … they know! … boo-oom and zzzz! and they all go tumbling, brats and bricks! … zzzz! let’s go! which is funnier? the bombs or the bricks? … the age when everything is funny! … nothing matters … but the next somersault! and wham! a smack in the face! and zzzz! upstairs! the plane doesn’t stop! … the brick flops … too heavy! … they all go running … and pull it out of a hole in the snow … never laughed so much! … bam! another clout! here’s the isba! … the whole village is there … I can see at a glance … all the housewives … and the geese … and the ducks … I look inside … the famous stove! … Ukrainian model, enormous … with the chimney coming through the roof … at least ten bibels plus the kids … construction in full swing … it’ll be finished this evening! ten bibel masons … they’re not taking it easy … the kids climb up and hand them the bricks … and slither down … howling and laughing! … and start up again! … it all goes together! all their deviltry! the imitation booms with the real bombs … boo-oom! in the distance … and the furniture being handed in! … the whole village hauling … through the cold and the snow … the ladies must want for nothing! dreadful, such fine ladies in an isba! … victims of dastardly brutes! … the whole village … the Russians and the Poles and the housewives … their hearts are bleeding! … nobody wasted a word on the cripple or Simmer or the heroic Rittmeister … fairy tales! … bumped off? … strangled, you say? really? … ground into ribbons? … piffle! but Frau von Leiden, driven out of her house, treated like a whore … and the three of us there, lousy franzosen, shit of the shit, we thought it was funny! … Zornhof had its hardships … bad! … at least one widow to every hut, but the three of us there and our arrogance were the worst of all! … we should be chucked in the manure pit too! and quick! … it was in the air … it was coming up … the kids’ feet were frozen! … quick, a brazier! … more fun! … a makeshift brazier … branches piled on stakes … and a match! … Kracht’s against it … verboten, verboten, he yells … the kids don’t give a damn … “maul zu! … shut your trap!” I think he’d have fired, but they were so steamed up we’d never have come off alive, they’d have stormed the manor and the farm … the kids and the mothers and prisoners, I mean … and exterminated the monsters! us! … Kracht had lost control … they were just waiting for him to fire … I tell him … “it’s no use, Kracht!”… a fact! one look was enough! … the whole village was traipsing in and out, toting more cushions and furniture … “for the poor ladies …” better if we came back later when they’d finished the big stove … Kracht sees the light, we take the same path back … snow all over … the kids all hooting at us … “heil! heil! mörderer! … murderers!”… no less! … no comeback, public opinion’s against us! … well anyway, they didn’t massacre us! … they could have! … the times I’ve said “they could have!” since ‘39 … a thousand opportunities! same old song! … Hérold Paqui ° weeping with rage on his way to be hanged … “they haven’t shot Céline!” … he’d have died happy … same with Cousteau, the frustrated cancer victim … dear old Cousteau! … who’d done everything he could to get me drawn and quartered … and surely a thousand others!
What was more important right then was that lady “prisoners” shouldn’t escape! … and that nobody should follow us … we creep very cautiously from thicket to thicket … still snowing … the peristyle … two women, all muffled up … not peasants … waiting! for us, I think … we come closer … it’s Marie-Thérèse, the heiress, and Countess Thor von Thorfels … standing there in the snow … what do they want of us? first they speak to Kracht … they want to know if they’re going to be arrested too … and transferred to the isba … it’s almost daylight now … they don’t look so hot, their noses are running … waiting a long time? … I’d never seen them together, I don’t think they ever saw each other … one at her daughter’s at the farm, the other in her tower … now they’re friends, arm in arm … shivering … with cold and fear … Countess Thor von Thorfels explains … they don’t want to go back to the farm … why not? … Nicholas is there! … the Russian giant! … and Léonard and Joseph! … and the rest of them! … they’d start another fire! …
“Fire? fire?”
I set them straight …
“Inge von Leiden started the fire! … and she’s locked up! … would you like to see her?”
I suggest …
“Oh no! … oh no!”
They’re even more scared of Inge than of the giant Nicholas … “what then? what then? …” Kracht asks … they’ll stay upstairs … at Marie-Thérèse’s place together … and then … at night … they’ll come down to the Rittmeister’s old office … that way they won’t be so scared of Inge …
And it’ll be company for our Revizor! … which reminds me to introduce him …
They follow me …
“Countess Thor von Thorfels! Countess Marie-Thérèse von Leiden!”
He’s delighted … he’d like to get up and greet them properly … he can’
t … he’d like to welcome the ladies … he makes a gesture … one arm, no morel but he does the honors … he thinks he’s at home …
“Here, dear ladies, you see two divans! do forgive the abominable disorder! there an armchair! … and over there, I believe, a piano! … there in back, the windows! SS Kracht, you know him, forbids us to open the blinds! his idea! … hee-hee!”
He laughs, but it hurts him … he winces …
“Oh! Oh!”
“We see, Monsieur le Revizor! don’t move! … don’t move!”
He insists …
“You would see the pool! just below the balcony … your brother died here, right beside me … the Landrat died in that pool … your nephew, Madame, died in the pit … you know the pit, I presume?”
A stickler for precision … bad shape, in pain, but there mustn’t be any mistake … he wouldn’t want the ladies to get the wrong idea! … Kracht listens … he doesn’t say a word … Le Vig is fidgeting, he wants us to go back to the isba … his mania … “Take it easy!” I was due for three more visits … Kracht at night … me in the daytime, for medical reasons … lovely reception we could look forward to! … I ask the ladies if they’d like to take a little stroll … no … and they won’t go upstairs either… they’ll set up housekeeping in the drawing room right away … the Revizor won’t be in their way, every time he tries to move, he groans … he groans a lot worse when we have to hold him on the pot … this is the time, before we leave … we lift him up and hold him, he complains but not too much, he’s a good patient … he thanks us affectionately, that’ll do till next time … his fracture isn’t so hot … the consolidation, I mean … the edema is clearing up … but I’m ashamed of the way it’s knitting … he should lie still, damn it! … and how are we going to keep him from disturbing the ladies? … the ladies aren’t paying any attention to us, they’re busy in back with the blinds, trying to open them … verboten! … but they don’t give a damn! … they want some light! … fine! … perfect! … they’ll make up the divans for themselves … we’d been sleeping on them … we’ll divide the room in two … or three … they’ll be more comfortable than in our straw … the Revizor’s moaning pretty bad, but after his injection he’s all right … they’ll need mattresses … no problem … from the Kretzers’ on the next floor … well attend to that when we get back from the isba! … my turn now, my medical call! I want Le Vig to come … and not stay with the women and the Revizor … he’d shoot his mouth off … “C’mon, Le Vig!” … I’m very firm! … I’m not so keen on seeing Inge, but it can’t be helped … here we are outside … you know … the path … at the last bush before the isba … I tell Le Vig: “look sharp!” very few people around, only the bibels on guard … as arranged … walking up and down, their way of mounting guard … no guns, picks and shovels … I shout to them …