“You ready to go get our pizza on, and then I was thinking we could go for a walk,” I tell her, thinking of maybe taking a walk down Main Street.
“Let’s go, Freddy,” she says, wiggling herself out of my arms. I walk out the door with her and buckle her into her booster seat, kissing her nose. Getting behind the wheel of the truck, I start the car and “Despacito” comes on. I groan as Mila starts singing in the background. I pull out of my driveway and drive down the street, coming to a stop at the corner where I see blond hair right in front of me.
She walks with a little bit of a limp, but I know right away it’s Hailey. I’m about to drive by, but Mila shrieks as she rolls down her window. “Hailey-bailey.” My eyebrows pinch together as Hailey turns her head, and I take in her face. The darkness around her eyes is gone. Her face is a little bit fuller as is her body. Fuck, am I checking her out? I’m about to drive right past her, but she waves at Mila in the back, and I stay there stopped wondering what to do. “Hey there, Mila-fila,” she jokes as she walks across the street, and I take her in a bit more. Her black tights mold to her lean legs with a simple V-neck t-shirt and a plaid sweater tied around her waist. Her black sneakers make the whole outfit. “What’s up, Princess?” She continues to talk to Mila as I continue to watch her.
“Are you going for a walk?” she asks as I see Hailey switch from foot to foot.
“I am. I’m going down to get some pizza.”
“We are going to eat pizza,” Mila informs her. “You want to come with us?” I groan inwardly. Hailey looks at me, her smile falling, and then back at Mila.
“Um,” she says, and I see her trying to come up with an excuse, but Mila doesn’t give her a chance and neither does the car in back of me who honks.
“Get in,” I say harsher than I want to, and Hailey just looks at me. If Mila wasn’t there, I’m sure she would turn away and tell me to fuck off. “Please.” But the horn honking again has her walking around the truck. She opens the back door and gets in on the passenger side next to Mila. I put the car in drive as we make our way to D’Amore; the girls chattering in the back make me grip the steering wheel tighter. I park the truck and get out, opening Mila’s door to find her already unbuckled and climbing out on Hailey’s side. They walk around the truck hand in hand while Mila tells her about the afternoon she had with my mother.
We walk in, and the hostess asks me how many. I say three, but Hailey tells her that she is going to order for takeout. “You aren’t going to eat with us?” Mila asks as Hailey looks from the hostess and then back at Mila.
“Okay fine, three,” she says as the hostess brings us to the only available table with three seats. It’s at the end of the table with one seat on one side and then two on the other side. Mila walks to the single seat while Hailey walks around the table and sits down, waiting for me to sit down also.
The chairs are so close together that our legs are touching, and the heat from her leg seeps into me. “What can I get for you guys?” the waitress asks. Mila says, “Apple juice. Hailey, you want one too?”
“Sure, I’ll have an apple juice. You want pepperoni, Mila, or did you want to have the cheese like we had yesterday?” I look at Hailey.
“When?” I ask her, and she looks at me. Finally, for the first time, our eyes meet. The look in them cloudy, stormy, like she is fighting something again.
“We had lunch yesterday at my house,” she informs me quietly as the waitress waits for the rest of the order.
“We will have cheese with three apple juices,” I tell her, then she grabs the menus from us. “So when did this lunch happen?”
“I have to go potty,” Mila says. I start to get up, but Hailey is already on her feet, looking at me.
“I can take her to the women’s one. If it’s okay.” Mila holds her hand while Hailey looks at me, and I just nod. After they turn around and walk to the back, the waitress appears with the apple juices. Fuck, what I would give for a beer. They come back laughing a couple of minutes later. Hailey picks up Mila and places her on her chair.
“So you guys had lunch?” I don’t let her change the subject as Hailey nods.
“We had pizza, and then we went on a mission,” Mila tells me. “We found fifty-eight seashells.”
Hailey crosses her legs, the coldness from her separation now getting to my leg. “Sixty-two.” She grabs her juice and takes a sip. The waitress brings some crayons for Mila. She says thank you and turns over her placemat to color.
“Your mother comes over sometimes with Hailey during the week for lunch,” she says softly from beside me, her thumbs hitting the table nervously. “I finally got my stitches out and could walk or at least limp. It’s still tender when I put too much pressure on it.”
“Then why the fuck were you walking here?” I ask her, angry that she is not listening to orders.
“Um …” she says, taken aback by my harsh tone. “Crystal left this morning for her weekend retreat, and she took my car,” she says, looking down, then up again. “Besides, I wanted to get some fresh air.”
“You shouldn’t put that much pressure on it if it hurts. It will most likely take longer to heal,” I tell her as I hear a voice being cleared beside me. Turning, I come face to face with Norma.
“Grandma Norma,” Mila says as she waves. “We are having pizza,” she informs her.
“I see that,” she says as she looks over at Hailey. “Who is your friend?” Her voice drips with accusations, and my spine goes straight.
“This is Hailey,” I tell her. “The one who carried Mila down the beach the day of the accident.”
Norma looks over at her and just smirks. “I didn’t realize you two knew each other personally.” That pisses me off, but it makes Hailey start to get up.
“I should go,” she starts, and I see that her chest is moving fast now. “I’m not feeling well.” But I grab her hand before she stands all the way up.
“No.” I raise my voice a touch and look over at her. “We are going to eat pizza.” I look back at Norma, asking her, “Is that all?”
She nods at me and then leans down to kiss Mila. “I will see you tomorrow. I have everything ready for our mani-pedi party.” This makes Mila squeal and clap her hands. She walks away from us, not stopping, and heads straight out the front door. The waitress arrives and places the pizza in front of us. I grab a slice to cut up for Mila. Looking over at Hailey, I see her just sitting there, blinking at her empty plate.
“Eat.” I place a slice of pizza on her plate, prompting her to look up at me.
“I’m not hungry,” she says quietly. “I really don’t feel well.” Her face has gone from happy two seconds ago to ash white. Her eyes blink furiously, and I know Mila does the same thing when she tries to be brave and not cry. I place the plate in front of Mila, and she grabs her fork and starts eating.
“I’m sorry about Norma,” I tell her quietly. “That was uncalled for.” I look at Mila to make sure she isn’t listening to us. “Please eat.” The plea leaves my mouth before I can snatch it back.
She shakes her head. “I …” She looks over and is about to tell me something when Luigi comes over.
“Hey, if it isn’t my two favorite girls,” he says as he winks at Mila and then smiles at Hailey. “I didn’t see you guys come in.”
“You must have been busy, but I was just going to head out,” Hailey says as she stands, and I see her wince. “I think I overdid it with the walking today.” She smiles at Luigi and then hobbles to Mila’s side. “I’m going to go home now. My foot hurts a little.” Mila nods at her as she leans in to kiss Hailey’s cheek. “I’ll see you next week for another treasure hunt.” She smiles at us as she says bye, and I watch as she limps out the door.
“She’s a beauty, that one,” Luigi says. I just glare at him.
“Don’t even think about it,” I tell him. I’m not sure why since it’s not my business. I get up and say, “Mila, wait here with Luigi. I’m going to tell Hailey we will bring the piz
za to her house.” I run out and look down the street to see her limping her way down Main Street, her head down, shoulders slumped. I jog up to her, startling her. “Hailey.”
Her hand flies to her chest. “Jesus fuck, you scared me,” she says as I look at her and see the tears that have been washed away.
“Are you hurt?” I ask her, looking at her foot. “Sit down,” I tell her as I direct her to the chair right in front of the hairdresser’s. I don’t wait for her to answer. “I’m going to go get Mila, and we can eat at my house,” I tell her as she shakes her head.
“I just want to go home,” she says as she looks down at her foot.
“Okay, fine,” I say, combing my hands through my hair. “Let me go get Mila, and I’ll take you home.”
“You don’t have to do that,” she says, but I just walk away from her. The pain in her eyes is too much to bear right now as my thoughts start their own war. Part of me just says fuck it let her go, but the bigger part tells me to help her. I walk back in and find Luigi with Mila and the pizza already boxed.
“I boxed it up for you and explained to Mila that Hailey would need a lift home.” I grab the box from him and pick up Mila.
“Where is Hailey, Poppa?” she asks me as she wraps an arm around my neck, and I carry her out to my truck.
“She is waiting in front of Auntie Darla’s shop,” I tell her as I buckle her in and get in, hoping she waited for me. When I pull up, Hailey looks up, and I can see the tears are gone. She gets up and walks to the truck, smiling at Mila, but the smile is fake and forced.
“You don’t feel good?” Mila asks Hailey as she gets in the back seat, avoiding me.
“No, Princess.” As soon as she buckles her seat belt, I drive off and head toward the white house. I pull up and see that the lights outside are on. A soft light from inside shines through the front windows. She unbuckles the seat belt as soon as I put the car in park, and Mila unbuckles her own. “Where are you going?” she asks Mila.
“We have to take care of Hailey. She’s sick,” Mila says.
“Oh no, honey. I’m going to be okay.” She tucks Mila’s hair behind her ears. “I just need to rest.”
“That’s okay. We can watch a movie. It’s movie night.” Mila says as she looks at me over the seat. “Right, Poppa?”
I look back at her and then at Hailey. This girl with a heart of gold looks at me, waiting for me to do the right thing. I almost tell her no—it almost comes out of my mouth—but I can’t let her down. “Sure thing, angel,” I say as I get out. I open the door to take Mila out, but once again, Hailey already has her in her arms. I walk over as Hailey carries Mila up the steps and walks into her house.
“Do you have Netflix?” Mila asks Hailey as she smiles at her. “It’s Netflix and chill.”
“Um.” Hailey laughs and then looks at me. “If only she knew what that really meant.” I put my hand in front of my mouth to hide my smile as she walks to the couch.
“I’m going to potty,” Mila says as she walks into the hallway; the fact she is so familiar with this house has me asking myself all types of questions.
“You really don’t have to stay,” she says as she looks down at her hands and then up again. “I know you don’t like being here,” she says and then whispers, “or me,” then speaks louder, “so I can just tell her that I’m going to bed.”
“I don’t know you, so I can’t even say if I like you or not,” I tell her to clarify that I don’t not like her. “And this house is a sore spot for me,” I tell her as I put my hands on my hips and finally take a minute to look around and see the furniture she picked out. It feels so much like a home. Even when we lived here, it was still missing that home feeling. I don’t have time to think because Mila comes skipping back in.
“Did you wash your hands?” Hailey asks. Mila smirks and then turns back to wash her hands.
“How?” I ask the one word while I look at the back hallway and then back at Hailey.
“Your mom and grandmother come by at least twice a week, and she comes with them.” She shrugs her shoulders and then turns to look at the television with the remote in her hand.
“All done,” Mila says as she walks back into the room, kicking off her shoes and climbing on the couch. “I want to watch Moana.”
“Mila,” I say. Walking into the living room, I’m unsure of where to stand or sit. I want to run out of this house. The walls start to close in, or at least they were. The longer I stay, the looser the noose gets.
“It’s fine,” Hailey says from beside me. “I wanted to watch it anyway.” She smiles at Mila. “Would you like some popcorn?”
“Yes,” she shouts with her hands in the air like she just scored a touchdown.
“I’m going to warm up some pizza we brought. Would you like some? Would you like a beer?” Hailey walks toward the kitchen. She opens the fridge and grabs me one anyway “Here. Sit down. Relax. If it makes you feel any better, I’m just as nervous as you are.” She turns away to heat me a piece of pizza, and I grab the beer from the table where she placed it. I turn and go sit down on the edge of the couch. I look forward as I take a pull from the beer, and the music from the television fills the room, along with the slam of the microwave door and the sound of plates coming down. By the time the movie is starting, Hailey comes back in with two bowls—one with chips and the other with popcorn.
“Here is your favorite bowl, Mila,” she says as she hands her a pink ceramic bowl that looks like it has Mila’s handprint.
“Is that her handprint?” I look over at her while she sits on the opposite couch and props her one leg up.
“Yes, we did an afternoon of ceramics.” She smiles at Mila, and Mila nods her head, grabbing the popcorn and shoving it in her mouth. She doesn’t say anything else because the music starts. We all turn and look at the television.
By the time half of the movie finishes, they are both sleeping on the couch. I get up to grab Mila, and her mumbling wakes Hailey. “I’m going to get going,” I tell her as she blinks her eyes awake. “Thanks for having us,” I tell her from over my shoulder as I walk out of the house. I get Mila in and out of her seat without waking her. Tucking her into bed, I look down at my daughter, my life, wondering what could have been.
Chapter Fourteen
Hailey
“I’m doing good,” I tell my brother as I walk around the kitchen with the phone pressed between my ear and shoulder, preparing myself some toast and coffee.
“Bullshit,” he counters.
“Okay fine, I’m doing better,” I say as I grab the homemade jam that Delores brought me last week. For the past two weeks, it was always a surprise and pleasure when my doorbell rang. They would come with little treats, but the best was when Mila came with them because she took over the show. She is without a doubt the coolest kid I have every met. They’ve never brought up her mother, though, and I was not going to pry.
“Why didn’t you come home this weekend?” he asks me as I hear paper rustle in the background.
“And leave my oasis? Not for all the chocolate in the world,” I say, laughing, and then I hear the siren go off in the background.
“I gotta go; talk to you later,” he says, disconnecting. I put the toast on a plate and grab my cup of coffee, then make my way down to the beach with the blanket draped around my neck. I place my cup on my plate as one hand whips the cover over so I can sit on it. The clouds cover the sun as the waves crash onto the shore, the white bubbles dissipating into the sand.
My mind goes back to last night when Norma came to the table. Her snide comment made me feeel like the other woman again. Except for this time, I knew I was the other woman. The way that woman looked at me and judged me made my heart sink, and I knew I had to get out of there.
I place the cup and plate on the beach next to me. I hug my knees to my chest, watching birds fly through the sky, soaring high as they circle above. While enjoying the tranquility of the waves, I suddenly hear barking and giggling, causing
me to look to my right. I see Mila throwing a stick, and Flounder chasing after it. Jensen walks slowly behind them carrying a cup of coffee.
“Hailey,” I hear her yell as she waves her hand side to side. Her blond curls bounce as she runs over to me and her smile lights up her whole face. “Hailey,” she says breathlessly when she gets to my feet. “Whatcha doing?” she asks as she stands in front of me.
“I’m just watching the water,” I tell her with a smile. “What are you doing running around so early?” I ask her as Flounder comes over to me and plops down next to us, panting.
“Sorry about that.” I hear Jensen’s voice and look past Hailey to see that he followed her. “We didn’t mean to interrupt your quiet.” He takes a sip of his coffee.
“No worries. It was too quiet anyway,” I tell him, looking back at Hailey. “What are your plans for today?”
“I have to go to Grandma Norma’s.” Turning to look at her father, she says, “I don’t feel good.”
“All right, so I guess we should get you into bed and take the iPad and television away so you can rest and get better,” Jensen tells her, and she rolls her eyes at him.
“Fine.” She huffs out, sitting down on the blanket next to me. “I feel okay. You have snacks?” She turns and looks at me, knowing full well I have her favorite snack in the house. Her question makes me throw my head back and laugh while Jensen calls her name.
“It’s fine,” I say, getting up and grabbing my cup and plate. “I know better than not to stock her favorites.” I look back at Mila. “Would you like to come and choose?” She gets up right away and puts her hand in mine. I see Jensen’s body go tight, his eyes focused on our hands.
“We don’t have time,” he blurts out harshly. “Mila, say goodbye.”
“But Poppa,” she whines, and he gives her the look that I guess means he isn’t playing.
“Go on ahead; I’ve got to talk to Hailey,” he says as she walks away with Flounder next to her. As soon as she is far enough away, he turns around and looks at me. “I don’t know what game you’re playing.”
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