Mirror, Mirror

by Patricia Scanlan

  ‘Line up, please,’ Ellen instructed as she and Miriam organised a queue.

  ‘Ben, take over, we’ve got to serve,’ Miriam ordered, as a crowd of friends, neighbours and shoppers surged through the door eager to see what the girls had done to the place.

  ‘Queue up now, one at a time.’ Ben took over crowd control as Doug, assisted by Stephanie, began to dole out the presents.

  ‘Mummy, I want to be a Fairy Helper too.’ Julie Ann broke away from Emma and came to stand directly in front of Santa, who glowered at her in a most un-Santa-like manner.

  ‘You can’t, Julie Ann. This is my café and I’m Santa’s helper,’ Stephanie said indignantly, standing her ground for once.

  ‘Julie Ann, behave yourself,’ Vincent said sternly.

  ‘But I want to be a fairy,’ Julie Ann insisted.

  ‘Well, you can’t be. Now that’s enough.’

  ‘It’s not fair. Stephanie gets everything! She’s got a Mary Poppins bedroom in the roof and now she’s got a café, and she’s a Fairy Helper. And I get nothing. It’s really mean.’ Julie Ann was red in the face with temper and frustration. ‘I want to be a fairy! Now!’ Her screech echoed around the café.

  Santa sat, mesmerised by her tantrum, the likes of which he’d never seen. He looked helplessly at Ellen. Seeing the horror in his eyes, she got a fit of the giggles and had to turn away. This was one of Julie Ann’s best.

  Emma was mortified.

  ‘Vincent, take her outside and do something with her,’ she hissed.

  Vincent, furious, scooped Julie Ann, kicking and screaming, in his arms and carried her out the door.

  ‘I hate you, Daddy,’ she wailed as they left The Deli.

  Andrew started to howl in his mother’s arms.

  Emma got utterly flustered.

  ‘I’m really sorry about this, Ellen. Good luck with the new business. I’d better go,’ she clipped.

  ‘Don’t worry about it, Emma. Kids will be kids,’ Ellen murmured.

  ‘Julie Ann gets more like her father every day,’ Emma said pointedly. ‘Let’s hope Andrew has my temperament.’ She threw her eyes up to heaven and swept out.

  Ellen’s jaw dropped. The cheek of her to blame that sort of behaviour on Julie Ann’s Munroe genes. She really could be a snippy little madam, she thought crossly, raging that she hadn’t come up with some equally cutting retort.

  ‘Rise above it,’ Santa twinkled, amused.

  ‘I bet you won’t come to her on Christmas Eve,’ Rebecca interjected solemnly, fascinated that her cousin had dared misbehave in front of Santa.

  ‘Hello, little girl. What’s your name?’

  ‘Rebecca Catherine Munroe,’ Rebecca said shyly.

  ‘And I happen to know that you’re a very good little girl. Fairy Helper, have you got a present for this good little girl?’

  ‘That’s my cousin,’ Stephanie said proudly as she delved into the sack and handed Santa a wrapped parcel. She’d been sworn to secrecy about Santa’s identity.

  ‘I know,’ said Santa as he handed the gift to Rebecca. ‘And so are that young lady and young man.’ He pointed to Connie and Daniel.

  ‘How did you know that?’ Rebecca was amazed.

  ‘Santa knows everything. He knows that this little boy here,’ Doug drew a timid little chap to his side, ‘lives on Red Barn’s Road and he helps his granny with her shopping.’

  The little fellow was puffed with pride as he gazed trustingly at the awe-inspiring figure in front of him. ‘An’ I’ve stopped pickin’ my nose too,’ he confided, much to the amusement of the adults.

  ‘You’re a great boy,’ Santa said kindly as he handed him his parcel.

  Doug really had a way with kids, Ellen thought admiringly as she watched how he had a word for all of them.

  The next hour passed in a blur of mad activity. People dropped in and bought cakes and cold meats and side salads to take away and enjoyed the finger-food the girls were serving. There was much praise for the decor and Ellen felt extremely optimistic that the business would provide the three of them with a good income. Santa and his helper were kept busy until every child had got a present and it was with great relief that he stood up at midday having acquitted himself with flying colours.

  The girls had planned to serve lunches from twelve until two. Now that the official opening was over, they were ready to get down to business.

  Doug hastened gratefully through the front door cheered by the few remaining children. He was baked alive in his red suit. He couldn’t wait to be rid of it. He had the key to Ellen’s back door and, when he got in to the safety of the flat, he flopped onto the sofa.

  He was sitting there, minus his cotton-wool beard, opening the buttons of his suit when Ellen rushed in. He stood up to greet her.

  ‘Doug, I can’t stay a minute. I just wanted to say thanks very much for what you did.’ She threw her arms around his neck and hugged him tightly.

  ‘Whist, woman, you’re welcome.’ Doug hugged her back. Then he lowered his head and kissed her fiercely.

  ‘Oh!’ Ellen looked into his hazel eyes, surprised by how much she’d enjoyed it.

  ‘Oh what?’ Doug smiled down at her.

  ‘Just oh!’ She actually felt shy.

  ‘I got carried away,’ he teased.

  ‘I’d better go, in case we’ve got a real customer,’ she murmured.

  ‘You’d better. Miriam and Denise mightn’t be able to dish out a bowl of soup on their own. How about if I get carried away just once more, seeing it’s the day that’s in it?’ Doug stroked her cheek.

  She drew his head down and kissed him ardently. It was a long deep French kiss.

  ‘You’re beautiful,’ Doug whispered huskily.

  ‘So are you,’ she whispered back, burying her face in his neck.

  ‘What a day you pick to kiss me like that,’ he said ruefully as they heard Stephanie running upstairs and drew apart.

  ‘It’s a new beginning day. The best sort of day.’ Ellen squeezed his hand.

  ‘And it’s only starting,’ Doug smiled down at her.

  She wanted to throw herself at him again. ‘I’m very happy, Doug. Thank you for all you’ve done for me.’

  ‘So am I, love. I wish it was closing time and I could have you all to myself.’

  ‘It’ll be something to look forward to,’ Ellen promised.

  ‘Hi, Mam. Hi, Doug.’ Stephanie danced into the room twirling her wand. ‘Uncle Ben said can I go to the Botanic Gardens with them? We’re going to see the squirrels.’

  ‘That’s very kind of Uncle Ben – of course you can go,’ Ellen agreed.

  ‘Mammy, would you say the real Santa’s fairies saw Julie Ann being so bold?’ Stephanie inquired.

  ‘Maybe they did. Who knows where they are, so close to Christmas?’

  ‘Just say she didn’t get any toys this year. She might even get a sack of ashes,’ Stephanie said happily, anticipating the disaster of disasters that might, hopefully, befall her cousin.

  ‘You don’t worry about Julie Ann, you just worry about being a good girl yourself,’ Ellen said as she tucked Stephanie’s pigtails into her bonnet. ‘Be a good girl for Uncle Ben.’

  ‘I will. I don’t want to get a sack of ashes, Mam,’ Stephanie said fervently as she hurried out the door.

  ‘A sack of ashes would be too good for that other little demon of hell,’ Doug observed as he struggled out of his red jacket.

  ‘She’s only a child, Doug,’ Ellen reprimanded.

  ‘Ellen, no other child of my acquaintance behaves like Julie Ann. She’s a law unto herself. She’s spoilt rotten. But don’t worry, my good woman, I won’t let her Munroe genes put me off wooing you.’ He grinned.

  ‘You rotter.’ Ellen gave him a puck in the shoulder. ‘I’ll see you later.’

  ‘I hope you’re run off your feet with customers.’

  ‘Thanks, Doug. I’d better get going.’

  ‘One more kiss?’

  ‘Doug, I
won’t be able to concentrate on what I’m doing. I’ll probably put too much pepper in the soup or something.’

  ‘Coward!’

  ‘Yeah, I am,’ Ellen agreed and fled. She knew she’d lowered the emotional barrier that she’d erected around herself because of Chris. She’d crossed that bridge for the first time with Doug today and it made her feel very happy.

  Half the tables were occupied when she got downstairs and Miriam flashed her a look of relief from behind the counter. ‘I think Denise could do with some help in the kitchen.’

  ‘I’m on my way.’

  It was a hectic day. She hardly had time to think about the lovely interlude with Doug. But now and again when she had a minute to herself she’d remember and feel a warm secret glow.

  Local curiosity and a busy shopping day ensured that they had customers all day and by the time they closed at six-thirty the girls were shattered. They had sold out of all their home baking and were going to have to spend the next day at their stoves.

  ‘We’re going to have to get some suppliers if this keeps up,’ Miriam remarked as she scrubbed the soup pot.

  ‘I’d say things will even out,’ Denise yawned as she washed down the worktops.

  ‘It was a great day, all the same, girls. If we even did a third of what we did today, we’d be doing well.’ Ellen collected all the dirty table napkins, dishcloths and tea towels for washing. It took them another half-hour before they were ready to leave. They were bushed by the time they locked the door behind them.

  Ellen drove Miriam home and collected Stephanie. Then they called in to see Mick, to find out how Sheila was. Mick was delighted to see them. He wanted to hear all about the day’s events and he insisted they stay for supper. By the time she and Stephanie got home it was almost nine. Stephanie was yawning her head off. Ellen bundled her upstairs to bed. She was asleep in minutes.

  She’d just made herself a cup of coffee when the phone rang. It was Doug.

  ‘I thought you’d be here by now. The kettle’s boiled. I kept you a gooey cake. Stephanie’s fast asleep and if you don’t get here soon, I’ll be too.’ Ellen tried to stifle a yawn.

  ‘I’m not going to be able to make it, Ellen.’ Doug sounded glum.

  ‘Ah Doug! I was looking forward to telling you all about it. Why can’t you come over?’ She was hugely disappointed. Concern washed over her. Doug would have been looking forward to the evening as much as she was. ‘What’s wrong?’

  ‘A fellow over in Swords rang me. His chimney collapsed and there’s a crack in the gable wall. He was really stuck. I’m here now, helping him out. The chancers who built this place should be shot. Talk about sloppy work. He’s lucky the whole place didn’t collapse around his head. I’m sorry, Ellen. I’d love to be with you, tonight of all nights, but I couldn’t leave this chap in the lurch, sure I couldn’t?’

  ‘Of course you couldn’t. That’s because you’re such a nice Doug,’ Ellen smiled down the phone. ‘It’s awfully cold tonight, have you got your heavy jacket on?’

  ‘I have, and thank you for asking.’

  ‘Will you have to work very late?’

  ‘I’m just putting some supports up tonight. I’ll see what I can do for him tomorrow.’

  ‘Will you be able to come over at all tomorrow? Can you come for your dinner?’

  ‘Ellen,’ Doug said patiently, ‘remember I told you I was giving my brother-in-law a hand with his extension. I can’t let him down. I promised to have it finished before Christmas. It’ll be another late night. I told you that last week.’

  ‘I know you did. Sorry, I forgot. That means I’m not going to see you over the weekend, and Monday I’ll be working,’ she said ruefully.

  ‘Don’t mind me, woman, I’m just playing hard to get,’ Doug teased. ‘I’ll call into The Deli on Monday.’ He lowered his voice. ‘I can’t really talk, Ellen. I just wanted to say, today was lovely and I wish I was there with you now.’

  ‘I wish you were too, Doug,’ Ellen said wistfully. ‘I’ll see you Monday.’ She hung up reluctantly. Typical! Now that she’d finally let herself feel attracted to Doug, and just when she’d have liked a lovely kissing and cuddling session, a chance to be intimate and close, she was going to have to wait. Couldn’t the gods smile on her just once? She took her coffee into the bathroom, ran a hot bath, perfumed the water with bath salts and lavender bubble bath and sank into it wearily.

  Today had been almost perfect. If Doug had been with her now it would have been the icing on the cake. The realisation hit her with a little shock. She wanted to be with Doug. Chris wasn’t in her head any more. She’d hardly given him a passing thought in the last week.

  Did that mean she didn’t love him any more? She frowned and blew away a soap bubble. If you stopped loving someone, did that mean that what had gone before hadn’t really been love? Had it just been an illusion of love? She’d read in The Messenger once that real love was unconditional. Pure unselfish love made no demands. Had her love for Chris been conditional on his loving her in return? Because he didn’t she’d stopped loving him. What did that say about her? That she’d only loved him because she was needy and lonely? Ellen shied away from the thought. It wasn’t something she cared to admit to. Who liked to face their weaknesses? It was very late and she was too tired to start analysing her relationship with Chris. Anyway she’d given him enough time and energy.

  It wasn’t Chris’s love you were scrutinising, it was your own and now you’re running away from it. Coward! Her inner voice would not be banished so summarily.

  But how could you love someone and not expect something back from them? Was it possible? she argued with herself as she soaped herself with Lux soap. Mick loved Sheila warts and all. If she’d really loved Chris, she’d have been able to come to terms with his selfishness and his cheating, lying ways. Was that what unconditional love meant?

  Doug cared very much for her, she knew that. And for a long time she hadn’t been able to give anything back other than friendship. And he’d accepted that and put no pressure on her. Was that unconditional love?

  But she’d put no pressure on Chris. She’d always been reluctant to make demands, probably because she’d been terrified that he’d leave. If that wasn’t being needy, what was? Ellen thought wryly as she took a sip of coffee. She’d hoped that he’d marry her when she got pregnant but she hadn’t demanded it. She’d let him make up his own mind. When they’d got back together again she’d never asked him to leave his wife for her. That was something she’d vowed she’d never do. That was a decision Chris would have to make on his own. And one Ellen knew he’d never make, no matter what promises he made. In some ways he was utterly gutless. With Chris it was always the easy option. He didn’t want to accept any responsibility for his actions.

  Once, he’d told her she was too soft for him. She’d known he was comparing her and Suzy. He’d made it sound as though her softness was a flaw in her character. Suzy, from what he told her, was bossy enough. She wouldn’t let him get away with things. When he’d accused her of being too soft, Ellen had been so tempted to tell him that it wasn’t a question of being soft, it was a question of treating him like an adult and letting him make his own choices and decisions. How typical of him to turn it back on her and make it seem as if she was at fault.

  Doug had great backbone, Chris had none. It was his great loss really, Ellen thought sadly. The good sides of him, the sense of fun, the enthusiasm for his work, his ambition, his charm and boyishness drew people to him like magnets. But behind it all there was nothing of substance.

  Maybe she’d had to realise that before she could truly value Doug. Chris hadn’t it in him to be faithful. Suzy hadn’t got such a great deal after all, Ellen reflected. Wisdom did come with age. Seven years ago she’d envied Suzy Wallace with all her heart.

  Ellen stepped out of the bath and wrapped a bath towel around her. Even the central heating couldn’t disguise how bitterly cold it had turned. Doug would be freezing. If Chri
s had phoned her to say he wasn’t coming to see her, Ellen would have immediately suspected a lie. Doug she trusted implicitly.

  Suzy was Chris’s wife, with the big house, big car, affluent lifestyle, plenty of money, but, there and then, Ellen knew she wouldn’t swap all that for one second of the peace of mind she had with Doug.

  She got into her snug, passion-killer, flannelette nightdress, remembering how, when she’d been sleeping with Chris, she’d shivered in flimsy baby-dolls. Ellen smiled as she snuggled down under the sheets. Right this minute she was content, serene . . . and warm. She was asleep before she knew it.

  Doug shivered as he hammered a nail into a wooden support. Of all the nights for this to happen. You’d think it was for spite, he thought irritably. Just when his relationship with Ellen was finally going in the direction he’d longed for. At last she was beginning to return his feelings. He’d waited long and patiently for this. It had been hard sometimes. Often he’d wanted to shake her and say, ‘Forget that bastard, he’s not worth a second of your time.’ Especially when she’d taken him back in the summer. That had been a low point. He’d wanted to break Chris Wallace’s pretty-boy jaw so badly. He’d wanted to tell him to butt out of Ellen’s and Stephanie’s lives and stop toying with them. But he knew that would have got him nowhere. Ellen could be very stubborn. She was prickly about other people criticising her precious ex. Besides, she had to come to the realisation that Chris Wallace wasn’t good for her, herself, if it was to mean anything. And if their relationship was to mean anything and not be a one-sided affair, she had to come to him of her own accord.

  Today had been that first real step. Doug smiled at the memory of her kisses. They had been very precious. He’d been dying to see her tonight. He wanted to make sure that he hadn’t been reading too much into the kisses. He’d wanted to have time alone with her when she was relaxed and at ease. He had no intentions of putting her under any pressure in any way though. He’d never do that to Ellen. She could dictate the pace. He was happy just to be with her.