Mirror, Mirror

by Patricia Scanlan

  ‘And I could imagine Alexandra Johnston with warts on her nose flying her broomstick,’ Suzy snapped. ‘Anyway, Lindsey, thanks for phoning. I have to meet my darling husband at lunchtime to buy the children’s Christmas presents. I haven’t told him I’m spending Christmas at Niamh’s. I’m not telling him where we’re going. He walked out on us so he can just bugger off.’

  ‘It’s tough on the kids though,’ Lindsey murmured.

  ‘Well, life’s tough, unfortunately, I’ll let you know how things go.’

  ‘OK, pet. Talk to you soon.’

  Suzy replaced the receiver and hurried upstairs. Today she was going to look . . . stunning . . .

  Emma was on top of the world. Mrs Munroe had upped and gone home. Whatever Tilly Doyle had said to her yesterday, she’d been like a cat on a griddle for the rest of the day. Then last night, she’d announced that she was going home in the morning. Mick was given his instructions to have the fire lit and to collect her after breakfast.

  She was free again. She’d wanted to sing the Hallelujah chorus as Sheila departed, bag and baggage. She’d done her duty and been a good wife to Vincent. The ordeal was over. Now she could start enjoying the Christmas season. She was having lunch with the girls in town. She wouldn’t have to feel guilty now, knowing that her mother-in-law would be waiting for her like a spider when she got back. There’d be no reproachful glances and murmurings that ‘Poor Andrew was fretting for you.’ It was like being out of jail.

  Two hours later, dressed to kill, in a suede mini, matching fringed jacket over a black polo and black leather boots, she was sipping a pre-lunch Martini with the girls.

  Gillian, Diana Mackenzie and Rhona Ryan were in great form. The gossip was flying.

  ‘Did you see Belinda Power at Harriet Kennedy’s hen-party? She was poured into the most hideous pink jersey mini. Her spare tyres would have kept Michelin in business for a year and talk about here’s me bust and me arse is coming. I never saw anything like it. It was revolting. And Belinda actually thought she was the height of fashion. That girl thinks she’s Sophia Loren. Doesn’t she ever look in the mirror?’ Rhona remarked bitingly.

  She and Belinda didn’t speak, after Belinda had made insulting remarks about Rhona’s wedding, to someone who’d immediately repeated them back. Their friendship had ended and a feud had been born.

  ‘Of course she does. She’s so vain she used to have a mirror hidden in her maths book. That’s why she got an F in her Leaving Cert. She was too busy studying herself. Pythagoras never got a look-in. Mirror Mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest one of all . . . Certainly not Thunder-Thighs-Power,’ Emma declared.

  The others laughed at this delicious piece of bitchery. Belinda Power was a wagon of the highest order. She’d been an awful lick at school, always toadying up to the nuns. She’d married a solicitor who was a big high-flyer and the competition between her and her classmates was fierce. The ‘outdoing stakes’ were very high where Belinda was concerned.

  Rhona turned to Emma. ‘Speaking of Harriet Kennedy, Emma. I believe she asked Suzy and Chris to the wedding and Suzy said they wouldn’t be going, because Chris has left her and is living with Alexandra Johnston. Is it true?’

  ‘What!’ Diana and Gillian chorused.

  Emma shifted uncomfortably in her chair. Rhona Ryan was a Nosy Parker. Trust her to bring up the subject of Chris.

  ‘It’s true,’ she admitted.

  ‘You never told us,’ Gillian said indignantly. ‘He’s having an affair with Alexandra Johnston. I thought she was Suzy’s best friend. How horrible! Poor Suzy. How long has it been going on?’

  ‘A while.’

  ‘But I didn’t think they liked each other. They were always sparking off each other.’ Gillian was puzzled.

  ‘I’d never mind that,’ Diana remarked. ‘Obviously a façade to throw people off the track. Mind, Chris used to be quite scathing about Alexandra. He’d go quite close to the bone sometimes.’

  ‘Is Suzy in bits?’ Rhona asked sympathetically.

  ‘I haven’t really been talking to her,’ Emma murmured.

  ‘And imagine he’s moved in with Alexandra! That’s very final, isn’t it?’

  ‘Hmm.’ Emma wished heartily that they’d change the subject.

  ‘Did you hear that Anna McManus has split up with Gerard Butler? The engagement’s all off,’ Diana announced obligingly.

  ‘What!’ More consternation.

  The McManus-Butler wedding was to have been the event of the season.

  Diana looked smug. She drew breath waiting to drop her next bombshell.

  ‘Apparently she called unexpectedly one evening – she has a key to his flat – and found him dressed in ladies’ underwear.’

  ‘I don’t believe it!’

  ‘You’re not serious!’

  ‘Cripes!’

  This was a revelation to beat all revelations. They stared at Diana, stunned.

  ‘But Gerard is six-foot four and he weighs at least sixteen stone. Have you ever seen him lumbering around the courts in his tennis shorts? Where would he get ladies’ underwear to fit him? Was it bloomers?’ Gillian was agog.

  ‘No, it was suspenders and stockings and frilly panties and a bra, according to Anna,’ Diana explained helpfully.

  ‘Uggg!’ Emma winced. ‘What a horrible sight. Those white legs in stockings and suspenders. How revolting!’ She gave a little shudder.

  ‘He mustn’t have a very big you-know-what, if he could fit into frilly knickers,’ Gillian observed as she took a slug of Campari. ‘Maybe Anna was saved from a life of frustration.’

  ‘Gillian!’ Emma giggled.

  ‘Oh dear, I’ll never be able to look him in the eye again,’ Rhona snorted.

  ‘He never looks people in the eye anyway. He’s a bit shifty if you ask me. I wonder does he take a D cup or a C cup? He was probably Madam Nora’s best customer,’ Diana grinned.

  They all guffawed as they followed Gillian into the dining-room.

  ‘It would have been a good wedding though,’ Emma remarked lightly. Now that the talk had turned away from Chris, she was enjoying herself immensely. But maybe, since the hotel wasn’t far from his office, she might pop in before she went home and arrange a private lunch for the two of them before Christmas.

  Suzy sipped a cup of coffee in Le Savoir Faire downstairs in Switzer’s, where she’d arranged to meet Chris to do the Christmas shopping. She’d taken great care to look her best. A friend was minding the twins, so she’d had time to get her hair cut and highlighted. Her make-up was heavier than she normally wore but she’d needed to disguise the dark circles under her eyes. She’d lost weight in the past few weeks, but the smart, well-cut, cream and gold wool suit looked superb on her. She wasn’t going to look like a wreck any more, she’d decided.

  If Chris was wining and dining his mistress in public, it was obvious he didn’t care who saw them. He was telling the world that he was with Alexandra. So with Alexandra he could stay. It was really rubbing her nose in it. He wasn’t even trying to be discreet. Not like the Malones, a couple they knew who’d split up two years ago. Terry Malone lived with his mistress, but he was paranoid about anyone at work knowing. He carried on a ridiculous charade, pretending that he was still living with his wife and children. Anyway, Vivienne Malone was mad to put up with it, Suzy scowled. She even went to his office party with him so that they wouldn’t guess at work. Suzy wouldn’t be so facilitating, if Chris ever asked her to accompany him to a function. That was why she’d told Harriet Kennedy out straight that they wouldn’t be going to her wedding. And she’d told a shocked Harriet the reason why. Chris had left her. He could take the consequences. She wasn’t going to pretend everything was hunky-dory when it patently wasn’t.

  ‘Howya.’ A sullen voice intruded on her thoughts.

  ‘Oh it’s you, Chris,’ Suzy said tartly as she drained her cup and stood up. She slipped her sheepskin coat over her shoulders.

  ‘I haven’t had m
y lunch yet. I’m starving. What’s the rush?’ Chris sat down opposite her and looked around for a waitress.

  ‘I’m in a hurry, Chris. I’m meeting someone later. I want to get the presents bought.’

  ‘Who are you meeting?’ he asked grumpily.

  ‘You don’t know him,’ Suzy retorted snootily as she swept past him.

  Chris’s mouth opened and shut like a codfish.

  ‘What do you mean, I don’t know him?’ he demanded.

  ‘Chris, I don’t have time to stand here discussing my personal life with you. Let’s get the presents and get out of here.’ Suzy didn’t wait for his response but walked on, head high.

  Deal with that, buster, she thought triumphantly. The only way to handle Chris was to beat him at his own game. If he thought she was seeing someone else, he’d go mad. He’d have to know who it was. He couldn’t bear the thought that she might get over him.

  ‘Wait a minute, Suzy.’ Chris grabbed her arm. ‘Are you seeing someone?’

  ‘Chris, I have no intention of discussing my private life with you. Just as I have no intention of sitting at home pining for you. I wouldn’t have you back if you crawled on your hands and knees to me. Alexandra is welcome to you. I’m well rid of you. Now let’s go and shop.’

  ‘Well, if you’re seeing someone let him pay your bills, Suzy. And go and live with him.’ Chris was hopping mad.

  ‘Nice try, Chris. But I’m staying put in my own home. And you will continue to support me, or I’ll be taking that little trip to the tax inspectors.’

  ‘You’re a vindictive bitch,’ Chris barked.

  ‘No, darling, just fed up being a doormat,’ Suzy snarled. They entered the toy department in stony silence. Suzy led the way to the train sets. Adam had dictated his letter to Santa the previous evening and a train set was top of his list.

  ‘You pick, you’re the expert,’ Suzy ordered.

  ‘Look, the least you can do is tell me where you’re spending Christmas. Surely I can come and see the kids on Christmas Day,’ Chris raged.

  ‘Absolutely not,’ Suzy said icily. ‘You made your choice, now live with the consequences. We won’t be at home.’

  ‘You’re depriving the children of a father, Suzy. You have no right to do that. You’re putting your feelings before theirs. You’re the one who’s being totally selfish.’

  ‘Don’t you dare lecture me, you shit. Don’t you dare accuse me of being selfish,’ Suzy hissed, incensed. ‘You were never a father at the best of times anyway. I could count on the fingers of one hand the times you read them a bedtime story. When did you ever bring them to the park unless I nagged you? If they weren’t in bed when you got home from work, you threw a mickey fit and moaned about their toys messing up the place. You didn’t even come home for their birthday party, you were too busy entertaining a client. Or screwing Alexandra. So go fuck yourself, Chris, and stop being such an almighty hypocrite.’

  ‘Shut up! People are looking at us.’ Chris’s face darkened with fury. He walked away. Suzy was shaking with rage. All her good intentions of staying cool, calm and collected had evaporated. She wanted to batter him. Only that she needed Chris to carry the heavy parcels to where her car was parked, she would have walked out and left him there.

  She walked over to the rocking-horses and selected one of the more expensive models. Her kids might be deprived of a father but they were damn well going to have a decent Christmas present, she fumed.

  Chris was reading the details on a train set when she went back to the display. ‘This one seems the best,’ he muttered.

  ‘Fine. I’ve picked the rocking-horse, let’s pay and get out of here.’

  ‘I hope you’re paying, Suzy. God knows I’m giving you a big enough allowance as it is,’ Chris said indignantly.

  ‘Oh, don’t be such a cheapskate, Chris. If there’s one thing I really detest in a man, it’s meanness. I bet you’ll be buying Alexandra something tasty from Weir’s,’ Suzy spat. ‘So you can damn well pay for your kids’ Christmas presents. Remember, you won’t have to buy me one this year. That will save you a fiver at least.’

  ‘Oh yeah! They’re my kids when it suits you. Well, if I’m paying for their Christmas presents I want to see them opening them.’

  ‘You can piss off, Chris. I’ll pay for them myself.’

  ‘Right! I will. If that’s the way you want it.’ Rigid with fury, Chris stalked out of the shop.

  Suzy, bursting with hatred, watched him go. How typical of him to use his children as a weapon. How typical of him to kid himself that he was a kind and caring father. And then when she didn’t submit to his blackmail, to drop the whole pretence and leave her to pay for the presents. Well, whatever chance he’d had of seeing them over Christmas, he’d none after this. And if one more person stuck their noses in and said the kids shouldn’t be deprived of their father, and that she should put them first, she’d swing for them.

  ‘Do you think it’s fair, Emma? I mean they are my kids. I’m their father.’ Chris’s blue eyes flashed with anger. He was sitting in his office with Emma. Her unexpected arrival had found him pacing up and down in a fury. She’d made him sit down and tell her what was wrong. It had all erupted out of him. ‘She can’t dictate to me like that. I’m entitled to see them, Emma. They’re my flesh and blood too.’

  ‘I know they are,’ Emma soothed. ‘It’s just I’d imagine that Suzy’s feeling a bit raw at the moment. You have to give these things time.’

  ‘Yes but it’s Christmas. And she’s behaving like a spiteful cat. You wouldn’t believe it, Emma. You wouldn’t believe what she’s capable of.’

  ‘What on earth did you have to get involved with Alexandra Johnston for? Of all people? Honestly, Chris, you couldn’t have picked anyone worse if you’d tried. Are you happy with her?’

  ‘She’s OK,’ Chris said sulkily. ‘But she lost clients at work because Suzy’s been such a bitch. And now they’ve given her the boot. I can’t afford to support her and Suzy. My life is an absolute mess.’

  ‘Oh Lord! What’s she going to do?’

  ‘I don’t know. But she better do something quick. That apartment costs a bomb. Why the hell couldn’t Suzy keep her big mouth shut? It’s nobody’s business except ours.’

  ‘So what are you going to do for Christmas?’ Emma asked sympathetically.

  ‘Damned if I know. I suppose I’ll be stuck in the apartment with Alexandra. She’ll hardly go to London now. She won’t be able to afford it.’ He thought of something. ‘Emma, listen,’ he said urgently. ‘How about if you phoned Suzy and had a girlie talk with her. She’s seeing someone else. I want to find out who it is. And you could find out where she’s going for Christmas for me. She wouldn’t tell me.’

  ‘She’s seeing someone else? How do you know that?’ Emma was amazed.

  ‘She told me! How do you like that? She told me she was in a hurry because she was meeting someone. A man. And she has the cheek to lecture me. Will you phone her?’

  Emma made a face. ‘I don’t think she’d tell me anything. She knows we’re pals, Chris. I wonder who she’s seeing?’

  ‘Yeah! It’s sickening, isn’t it? If you hear anything let me know.’

  ‘Well, you should know that it’s all over town about you and Alexandra – and it wasn’t me gossiping.’

  ‘I couldn’t care less, Emma. To hell with the lot of them. The stories I could tell you about who’s having affairs. Everyone’s at it. I just got caught.’

  ‘Did you hear about Anna McManus and Gerard Butler?’

  ‘That moron. He chickened out of a deal with me. Lost his nerve. He’d have made a packet too. He’s all talk and no action. What’s he up to?’ Chris scowled.

  ‘He likes dressing up in suspenders and bras and frilly knickers. The engagement’s off.’

  ‘You’re kidding!’

  ‘Nope! Sad but true!’ Emma grinned.

  ‘Well, that will knock me and Alexandra off the number one gossip spot,’ Chris sai
d dryly. ‘I wonder if he wears them to the rugby matches. He’s such a big bloke. The mind boggles, doesn’t it? That’s his reputation down the Swanee. He’ll lose clients quicker than Alexandra did, when that gets around. Poor sod. He won’t have much of a Christmas either.’

  ‘I’m sorry for you, Chris, I really am.’ Emma reached out and squeezed his hand.

  ‘How’s Ellen?’ Chris asked.

  ‘She’s fine. Her café’s doing a roaring trade,’ Emma said lightly.

  ‘Is she still seeing that bearded bogman?’

  ‘Chris! Don’t be like that. He’s a decent chap. He’s done an awful lot of work for Ellen.’

  ‘Well, she must be hard up. That’s all I can say.’

  ‘Look, how about if I take you to a slap-up lunch some day over Christmas?’ Emma changed the subject.

  ‘Thanks, Ems. You’re my only pal,’ Chris said gratefully. ‘I’d like that.’

  ‘Well, I’ll phone you and we’ll arrange it. OK?’

  ‘OK. Where are you off to now?’

  ‘I’m meeting Vincent. We’re going Christmas shopping together. Then we’re going to the pictures. Then we’re going to have dinner in the Russell,’ Emma said happily.

  ‘You’re a lucky little sod, you know. Haven’t you ever been tempted to have a fling? Haven’t you ever fancied another bloke?’ Chris was curious.

  Emma shook her head. ‘No. Vincent’s all I ever wanted. I love him.’

  ‘No one’s ever really loved me,’ Chris said sadly. ‘I’m an outcast.’

  ‘Darling, stop feeling sorry for yourself. It’s all your own doing. Now be a good boy and eat your greens and I’ll talk to you soon.’ Emma kissed him lightly on the forehead, waved and sashayed out of the office in high spirits.

  Chris watched her go and couldn’t help but smile. Emma was one of a kind. And she’d always had a soft spot for him. He sighed. It was depressing listening to everyone making plans for Christmas. Suzy had really taken the wind out of his sails today. She’d looked extremely well. Much better than the last few times he’d seen her, when she’d looked very haggard. The new hairstyle took years off her. Who the hell was she seeing? It was a bit bloody much all the same. It hadn’t taken her long to get over him, he thought sulkily.