Mirror, Mirror

by Patricia Scanlan

  ‘You wouldn’t believe me if I told you,’ he challenged.

  ‘What are you talking about, Chris?’

  ‘My marriage is over because I don’t love Suzy. I never have. There’s only one woman I’ve ever loved and that’s you, Ellen. I tried to tell you that the last time we were together. I told you I’d leave Suzy for you. But you didn’t want me.’ He hung his head dejectedly.

  ‘But I thought you were only saying it, the way you always say things. You know what you’re like . . . promises, promises.’ Ellen was flabbergasted.

  ‘Well, I wasn’t. I meant it. Anyway, one way or another, Suzy and I are through.’

  ‘I’m sorry, Chris,’ Ellen said miserably. This was deeply shocking news. And he was saying he loved her. Still! He must be sincere. It stunned her. She couldn’t take it in. He looked so forlorn her heart went out to him. He had dark rings around his eyes and a greyness to his skin that she’d never seen before.

  ‘Ellen, I love you. I really do. I only want to be with you,’ he pleaded.

  ‘Please, Chris, don’t!’

  ‘We could live together. I’d be a father to Stephanie. I’d do my utmost to make you happy. Couldn’t you even think about it?’

  He heard Katherine coming out of the kitchen.

  ‘Please let me phone you, Ellen. Please meet me and talk it over. Please say yes before Mother comes in.’

  Ellen didn’t know what to say. Chris and Suzy had separated. He still loved her. He wanted to live with her. What was she to think?

  ‘Please, baby,’ he said huskily.

  It was the old endearment that did it. ‘All right,’ she whispered as Stephanie, carrying a plate of biscuits, marched into the room followed by the twins and their grandmother. The surprise appearance of her father hadn’t knocked a feather out of her, Ellen thought in relief.

  ‘Time for tea,’ she announced, blithely unaware of the tension between the adults. ‘It’s pretend tea, it’s really lemonade,’ she informed Chris.

  ‘It sounds delicious. I’d love a cup.’ His eyes crinkled as he smiled. Ellen’s heart gave a little twist. His smile had always disarmed her.

  Katherine, in silence, poured the lemonade into the small cups. Ellen could see she was angry with Chris. It made her feel embarrassed.

  Stephanie busied herself handing out the cups. ‘Isn’t this fun, Mammy?’ She handed Ellen her cup.

  ‘Yes, love, it is.’

  ‘Mammies get theirs first,’ she explained to Chris as she handed him his. ‘Then daddies.’ She studied him intently. ‘Are you rich?’

  ‘Stephanie!’ Ellen spluttered. ‘That’s rude.’

  ‘Why do you ask?’ Chris asked curiously.

  ‘Julie Ann’s daddy is very rich. She has a pony. I was just wondering.’

  ‘Would you like a pony?’

  ‘Yep.’ Stephanie handed Christina a cup and saucer. ‘My mammy’s going to buy me one,’ she added confidently. ‘’Cos she’s going to get rich, ’cos she’s got a deli.’

  ‘I see.’ Chris sipped his lemonade thoughtfully. ‘You’re lucky to have such a kind mammy.’

  Stephanie turned her baby-blue eyes on him. ‘Yes, I am,’ she declared as she offered around the biscuits. ‘And I’ve got a Doug too. He’s even better than a daddy. He built me a Mary Poppins bedroom.’

  So put that in your pipe and smoke it, Ellen thought fiercely. She hoped that last remark made Chris feel well and truly ashamed of himself.

  ‘Oh,’ Chris said, deflated. ‘Well, we really must be off, Mother.’

  ‘We don’t want to go. We want to stay and play with the girl,’ Christina protested.

  ‘It’s time for us to go too,’ Ellen said firmly. ‘Tidy up, Stephanie, and say goodnight to your gran.’

  ‘Can I wash the tea cups, Gran?’

  ‘Of course, dear.’ Katherine gave a strained smile. ‘We’ll do them now.’ She gathered up the small cups.

  ‘I’ll help.’ Christina skipped out of the lounge.

  ‘Me too.’ Adam followed.

  ‘Look, I am sorry that I barged in. I didn’t know that you were here. But I’m not sorry to see you, Ellen. You look beautiful. Will you be at home or at work tomorrow?’

  ‘At home. I’ve closed for the week.’

  ‘I’ll call you then.’

  ‘I don’t know.’ She was having second thoughts.

  ‘Just one call. What harm is there in that?’

  ‘It’s over, Chris.’

  ‘It will never be over between us and you know it.’ Chris reached out and cupped her face in his hands.

  Ellen nearly jumped out of her skin at his touch, it was so unexpected.

  ‘I love you.’ He stared into her eyes.

  ‘Stop it, Chris,’ Ellen hissed, petrified Katherine would walk in.

  ‘I love you,’ he repeated and let her go. He walked out of the room calling to the twins. Ellen, dry-mouthed, heard the sounds of voices in the hall, and then the opening of the front door. Moments later, she heard the car start then Katherine closed the door.

  ‘Ellen, I’m truly sorry about that. It was most unexpected. I had no idea Christopher was going to call.’ Katherine swept into the room, apologising profusely.

  ‘Don’t worry about it, Mrs Wallace. These things happen.’ Ellen tried to reassure the clearly distressed woman.

  ‘It was unforgivable. I never intended for you to feel uncomfortable in my home.’

  ‘Honestly, Mrs Wallace, I’m fine. And I had a lovely time.’

  ‘So did I, Ellen. I hope it’s the first of many visits.’

  ‘It is,’ Ellen assured her. ‘Where’s Stephanie?’

  ‘She’s drying the dishes.’ Katherine smiled. ‘She’s a lovely child. A credit to you.’

  ‘She’s a good little girl,’ Ellen agreed proudly. Stephanie had taken her father’s arrival in her stride and even put him in his place.

  Between them they packed up the tea set and when Stephanie had her coat on she reached up to Katherine for a kiss.

  ‘Thanks, Gran. Will you come and visit us soon?’

  ‘Of course I will, dear.’ Katherine held her tightly.

  ‘We’ll make the arrangement,’ Ellen promised. Impulsively she leaned across and kissed Mrs Wallace on the cheek. ‘Thank you.’

  ‘And you, dear, and you.’ Katherine patted Ellen on the arm.

  She waved after them until they edged out of the long drive into the traffic. Ellen gave a sigh of relief as she drove towards the city. ‘Did you have fun?’ She glanced at Stephanie in the mirror. Her daughter was curled up under the tartan rug.

  ‘It was brill, Mam.’ Stephanie yawned. It had been a long day.

  ‘And what did you think of . . . em . . . Christopher?’ Ellen asked curiously.

  ‘He’s got very white hands,’ Stephanie remarked.

  ‘Oh!’ Ellen hadn’t expected that.

  ‘Not like Doug’s. Doug’s got real brown hands, Mammy, ’cos he works outside an’ he’s very strong,’ Stephanie explained patiently.

  ‘I see. Would you like to see Christopher again?’

  ‘I don’t mind, Mammy. Can I play with the boy and girl again? Can I go to see that gran again?’

  ‘I’m sure you can,’ Ellen said non-committally.

  ‘Can I play with my tea set when we get home?’ Stephanie was more concerned with her new present than she was about meeting her father.

  ‘Of course you can.’ Ellen smiled. It was no big deal for her. Chris meant nothing to her. Perhaps it was just as well. Ellen sighed deeply. Why had he come into her life again? What unseen hand was guiding their destiny? Giving her a choice, just when she didn’t want one? Life was so unfair. Why couldn’t he have wanted to be a part of her life when she’d really wanted and needed him? A year ago she would have been deliriously happy had he told her he’d left Suzy and wanted them to live together. It would have been a dream come true.

  There was going to be no easy way out of this. She was going
to have to make a decision between Doug and Chris. And this time it would be final.

  Katherine was furious with her son. He’d spoiled the little tea party she’d been enjoying so much with her enchanting new granddaughter. He should have phoned her to see if it was all right to visit. And to come visiting looking such a sight. Terribly bad manners! The state of him. Unshaven, bleary-eyed. She’d never seen him look so bad. Poor Ellen had been most ill at ease. You could have cut the tension with a knife.

  She was a very nice woman, Katherine reflected as she cleared away the tea dishes. Very different from Suzy. Much warmer. Suzy was more brittle. Suzy was more like her, Katherine admitted. Chris should have stood by Ellen and married her. He regretted it. That was obvious from the way he’d looked at her. And Ellen still had feelings for him. Katherine could see that. Even after all he’d done to her.

  Women were such fools! she thought crossly as she folded her linen tablecloth neatly, ready for the laundry basket. And if Ellen didn’t put Chris behind her and stay with that good man she’d spoken of so highly, she was the biggest fool of all.

  Alison Guilfoyle lit another cigarette from the butt of the one she’d just finished. He’d promised he’d phone but she hadn’t heard from Chris. It was now late on Sunday evening and the phone remained stubbornly silent. She checked it once more as she had a dozen times that day. It sounded fine.

  Why didn’t he phone? They’d got on like a house on fire the twice they’d been together. The sex had been pretty good too. And he’d seemed to really like her. He’d told her she was like a breath of fresh air. Vibrant and refreshing. She could hardly believe her luck, finding a handsome, suave, sophisticated, successful, eligible man on Christmas Eve of all nights.

  He’d be a great catch! She’d be the envy of her girlfriends if she swanned up the aisle on his arm. She wondered what his flatmate was like. Chris hadn’t volunteered much information and his bedroom door was locked. She’d tried it on her way to the loo. Just to have a peep. The flatmate’s room had an en suite, Chris had told her when he’d been giving her the guided tour. She’d wondered if he paid more rent than Chris. He was abroad for Christmas.

  ‘Phone me, phone me,’ she muttered as she stared at the phone, willing it to ring. Her parents were out. She could have gone to a party herself but she’d been too afraid she’d miss Chris’s phone call.

  Alison slouched into the lounge and flung herself into her father’s easy chair. A box of chocolates lay unopened on a side table. Impatiently, she tore the wrapping off and took a couple. She hardly tasted them. A tear trickled down her cheek. Why was it that men always said they’d phone and then they never did?

  ‘When I fall in love, it will be for ever,’ Chris crooned as he tidied away Dinky cars and dolls’ clothes. The children were asleep in his double bed. He was sleeping in Alexandra’s room. She’d be home a day after the twins went back to Suzy. If all went as he dearly hoped it would, he’d be moving into Ellen’s place. Alexandra would just have to get a new lodger to pay the rent.

  Ellen had got a shock when she’d seen him and a bigger shock when she’d heard about him and Suzy. It had all gone perfectly to plan, he congratulated himself as he got a cloth to wipe the melted chocolate off the fireplace. Katherine was annoyed. Chris was well aware of that. He didn’t care. He had to see Ellen and he’d seen her. And she still had feelings for him. She couldn’t hide it. That was the best bit. He’d work a bit of his old Black Magic on her and they’d be fine again. Life would be good.

  He was on his hands and knees rubbing the stains out of the tiled fireplace when he heard a key jiggle in the front door and the familiar clip-clop of high heels along the hall. He knelt, frozen, as Alexandra flung open the door.

  ‘What the fuck’s going on here?’

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  ‘What the bloody hell are you doing here?’ Chris blustered.

  ‘I live here, remember? What are all those toys doing out in the hall? Who owns those coats?’ Alexandra snapped.

  ‘I have the kids staying over for a few days,’ Chris muttered.

  ‘What!’ Alexandra was horrified. ‘They can’t stay here.’ She’d been half-expecting to catch Chris with a woman. It was a rich irony to find him cleaning up after his two kids instead.

  ‘Suzy dumped them on me,’ Chris whined. ‘It’s not my fault.’

  ‘Well, you’ll have to take them back to her tomorrow. And that’s all there is to it,’ Alexandra ordered.

  ‘I think she’s away, so I have to look after them. And besides you weren’t due home for ages.’

  ‘I decided to come back early,’ Alexandra said curtly. ‘But I certainly wasn’t expecting this! They have to go, Chris. Tell Suzy to get her ass back home fast.’

  ‘I don’t know where the hell she is,’ Chris exploded. ‘And anyway, Alexandra, I pay half the rent here. I can have who I like to stay. They’re sleeping in my room. So shut the fuck up.’

  ‘And where are you sleeping?’

  ‘Er . . . I was sleeping in your room.’

  ‘Well, you can forget that! Sleep on the settee tonight, Chris.’ Alexandra swept out of the room and slammed the door hard. How the hell was she expected to prepare for a most important interview with kids in the house? It didn’t matter that he didn’t know about it. They still shouldn’t be here. The nerve of him smuggling them into her apartment behind her back. For two pins she’d been tempted to chuck him out there and then. But her future was too uncertain. She needed to know she had that job before she tossed Chris out on his ear.

  She hefted her case onto the bed and carefully unpacked the new beige suit she’d bought in London, for the interview. She’d bought a pair of Italian leather tan shoes and a matching tan handbag to go with it. It was extremely businesslike and smart. Perfect for the image she wanted to portray. She’d only need to run the iron lightly over it. Although it wasn’t badly creased at all, she observed with satisfaction. It would be good for travelling.

  Alexandra unpacked, neatly and methodically. A hesitant knock on the door made her scowl.

  ‘Yes?’ She opened it slightly.

  Chris stood outside with two glasses of brandy.

  ‘A welcome home drink,’ he smarmed.

  ‘Thank you,’ Alexandra said frostily, took the proffered glass and closed the door firmly in his face.

  ‘So! How did the tea party go?’ Doug handed Ellen a mug of tea and sat down beside her on the settee. Stephanie was fast asleep in bed and he’d lit the fire for Ellen so they could snuggle up in front of it.

  ‘It was nice, Doug. Mrs Wallace went to a lot of trouble.’ Ellen tried to keep her tone light and non-committal. She took a sip of the hot sweet tea and put the mug down on the floor.

  ‘He was there, wasn’t he?’

  Ellen didn’t answer for a moment. Doug stared at her. She couldn’t meet his gaze.

  ‘Why do you say that?’ she asked eventually, fiddling with a tassel on a cushion.

  ‘I know by you, dammit. The minute I looked at you this evening I knew. I can see it in your eyes, I can see the unhappiness. And only one person in the world puts that there,’ he said bitterly. ‘So what did he have to say?’

  ‘He’s left Suzy. Their marriage is over. He’s living in a flat.’

  ‘Is he now? Poor, poor Chris,’ Doug derided.

  ‘Don’t be like that,’ Ellen snapped.

  ‘Why? What should I be like? Thrilled that you met one of the greatest shits going?’

  ‘Oh shut up, Doug!’ Ellen had had enough.

  ‘You knew he was going to be there, didn’t you?’ he accused.

  ‘I did not,’ Ellen protested indignantly.

  ‘It was all a big set-up—’

  ‘It wasn’t. I knew nothing about it. I didn’t know his marriage had broken up either.’ Ellen was furious. How could he think it was a set-up? What did he take her for?

  ‘Does he want to see you?’ Doug demanded.

  Ellen stayed stubbornly
mute.

  ‘I thought so.’ Doug jumped to his feet. His face was suffused with anger, the muscle in his jaw jerking, the veins in his neck corded. ‘I thought so. And I suppose you agreed. Well, I’m sick of this, Ellen. How can you even consider meeting him after the way he’s behaved? Are you crazy, woman? Can’t you see him for what he is? A user. A manipulator. He’s a self-serving bastard! He comes first and you never will. Or Stephanie. And still you’re prepared to put up with it. Well, you’re a fool. I don’t understand you. I never will. He says jump – you say how high? And that’s always the way it will be.’ His eyes were like flints.

  ‘That’s not true, Doug,’ Ellen protested heatedly. ‘You’ve no business saying that!’

  ‘Haven’t I? Obviously not. All I know is I’m not putting up with it any more. It’s like beating my head off a brick wall.’

  ‘Who’s asking you to put up with it?’ Ellen jumped up, incensed by the disgust in his voice and the contempt in his eyes. ‘You’ve no business talking to me like that.’

  ‘No! You’re right, I don’t,’ Doug snapped. ‘You can have him. You’re welcome to him. Goodbye, Ellen.’

  He picked up his leather jacket, strode across the room and left without a backward glance. She heard him go downstairs. And then the front door closed and there was silence.

  She sat down in frustration and fury. Just who the hell did he think he was, talking to her as if she was a child? How dare he judge her? How dare he call her a fool? She could make her own decisions without any help from him. They were all the same. Men! Right now she wanted nothing to do with any of them.

  Doug started the car and gunned the engine. He was as mad as hell. What was wrong with the woman? Couldn’t she see what was in front of her nose? Was she so cracked about Chris that nothing else mattered? It seemed so.

  He was sick of it. He couldn’t take any more of it. Ellen knew how he felt about her. It didn’t seem to matter. He’d thought he was getting places with her. He’d felt confident enough to plan on asking her to marry him. But after this he was back to square one. Well and truly.

  ‘Cut your losses before it gets any worse, you fool,’ he muttered as he swung the car around and headed home. What a lousy way to end the best year of his life. It was time to admit that Ellen would never be his.