The Phoenix Project Series: Books 1-3: The Phoenix Project, The Reformation, and Revelation

by Pritchard, M. R.

  Adam instructs me starting with cross punches, telling me to push off my back foot, twist my hips and shoulder, punching his open palms. I do it over and over again until my arms burn. Then he moves onto kicks, instructing me where to kick, how hard, where to keep my feet. By the time he’s done with the kicking instruction I’m dripping with sweat even though the barn is unheated.

  I walk around the open space, fists on my hips, trying to catch my breath, wishing I had a bottle of water with me. I laugh a little to myself, realizing that before all this, a normal person would have paid big bucks to have a Marine train them how to fight.

  “Doing good. Want to spar a little? Put it all together?” Adams asks, rubbing his hands together.

  I’m so tired I can’t decide if it’s a good idea or not. “If you think that will help.”

  He motions for me to stand in front of him. I throw a few punches and a few kicks, but I’m slow from exhaustion and it seems like Adam is moving in slow motion to compensate for me. It makes me angry. I don’t want him babying me.

  “What’s wrong, afraid to fight a girl, Adam?” I tease him, trying to get him to put more effort into it.

  “If that’s what you want, Andie.”

  Then he comes at me. I’m sure it’s not full force but it’s enough to get my heart pumping again. I throw a few punches but he easily blocks them, as well as my kicks. I can tell he’s waiting for the right chance to teach me a lesson, and I give it to him. Just as I’m about to circle around him he throws his foot out, kicking my feet out from under me. Just like Baillie did. Only this time I fall forward, not backwards, catching myself on the padded gloves. When I hear footsteps coming towards me all I can think of is Baillie in that basement beating me to a bloody pulp. The barn is too much, the cement floor, the smell, it sends me straight back to those horrific four days. I roll onto my back, squeezing my eyes shut, and shielding myself with my arms and legs expecting Baillie to punch me or kick me. And when I feel pressure on my shoulder I scream for him to get away from me.

  After a few minutes I am able to calm myself and look around the barn, re-orienting myself. It’s when I catch Adam staring at me wide-eyed from across the room that I realize what happened. A flashback. But he knows how this goes. We’ve talked about it already. The only difference between my recovery and his, was that he got to recover in a cushy government hospital, while I tough it out on a farm trying to raise my child and keep myself sane when the world has crumbled around me.

  “Sorry.” I sit up, winding a stray piece of straw around my finger as I sit on the floor.

  “Maybe sparring was pushing it for today.”

  It was. I should have known when he mentioned it. I look to the clock on the wall. Lina will be done soon. Lina. I have to remind myself this is for Lina, to protect her. I have an idea.

  “I want you to train Lina.”

  “Why?” He asks. “She’s only seven.”

  “Because… because I don’t ever want her to be afraid, like I was, like I am, ever.”

  He just nods his head in agreement. I know he understands my reasoning, without me saying much. He would want it for his own child, for them to be able to protect themselves. She needs it now more than ever, especially since Crane now knows where we live.

  --

  I expect Adam to go back to town. But he sticks around, talking with Elvis and Sam, meeting the new children Morris brought. We all meet for dinner at Blithe’s house. Since most of the children are staying there she has the most room and table space. Everyone pitches in, serving, eating, and cleaning up. Then we all trickle off to our own houses to get the children and ourselves ready for bed. By the time Lina and Astrid are sound asleep and tucked into their beds I can barely keep my eyes open. I don’t even hear the knock on the front door. The only reason I know someone is there is because of Stevie’s pacing and the Guardian’s expectant looks. When I open the door Adam is standing on the porch, shielding his bare neck from the freezing night wind with the collar of his jacket. Against my better judgment, I let him inside.

  “I thought you would go back,” I tell him.

  “I have some time to use.”

  “Do you get vacation or something?”

  “Or something...” He looks around the living room.

  I try to remind myself that I’m mad at him. “What do you want, Adam?”

  “To talk,” he responds, slipping off his jacket and hanging it on the coat hook by the door.

  “I’m too tired to talk,” I respond. Which is actually an understatement-this is the most exhausted I’ve been in a long time.

  “I know.”

  “Then what do you really want?” I step back away from him and away from the heat radiating off him, out of his reach. He doesn’t answer. I know what he wants, a place to sleep. Or other things. “I’m too tired, Adam.”

  My emotions are out of control from being awake for over a day. I don’t want to talk to anyone. I just want to sleep. But I know I can’t because the nightmares will start as soon as I close my eyes. I know it’s going to be a bad night and I should probably sleep outside where I won’t wake Lina, but it’s so cold out there. I don’t even know what to do with myself. I resort to shaking my head in my hands and inhaling deeply, trying to hold back the warm tears.

  “Andie.” I hear his footsteps as he walks towards me.

  I know I should step back or tell him to leave. But when he wraps his arms around me, I can’t. I just stand there, pushing my nose to his chest, breathing in the smell of his shirt. When he reaches down to pick me up, bringing me to the bedroom, I don’t even struggle. I let him lie me down on the bed, resting my head in the crook of his arm. He pulls the heavy blankets over us and wraps his other arm protectively around my abdomen, tucking his hand under my hip, molding his body to mine.

  Just before I fall asleep I conclude that he must have planned this, coming here, exhausting me so I would have no choice but to let him in. Because he needed to sleep, and I needed to sleep, and nothing keeps the nightmares away better than when we are together.

  CHAPTER thirteen

  It’s my third day of learning how to fight, and I’ve realize how bad I really suck at it. There’s nothing worse than a girl who’s barely five foot two and a hundred pounds, trying to fight a grown man who’s twice her size. Unlike learning the weapons, I recognize this is going to take a long time.

  Adam has stopped kicking my ass for five minutes and as we rest for a moment I remember there’s something I’ve been meaning to ask him. Things I’ve wanted to ask since I watched the bombings from the top of the water tower.

  “What was it like out there? Before the bombings and after, what happened while you were out there?”

  He sits on an empty bucket, his face now downturned, serious. “Are you sure you want to know?”

  “Yes.”

  “Well, the way down to North Carolina was easy. Everything was normal. No one knew about Phoenix. Or they just didn’t seem to care. Flocks of people had already left the city.” He stares at me as I listen to him. “I told you I was on a mission that night in the woods when I was trying to get you out of here.” I nod at him.

  I remember the night like it was yesterday. Adam helping me and Lina escape. We stayed up all night, walking for hours through the woods to the train. Back when the District had a Runner. Back when we were able to get supplies from the outside world. Adam had just informed me that he was on a mission, and part of his mission was to find me and bring me back to Phoenix. Just now, I remember he said something strange, that he didn’t plan on falling for me. I was so angry that night I don’t remember much of our conversation. I mostly remember wanting to smack him across the face for lying to me and for bringing my daughter into this. But without him I would have never found Lina. And I’m sure if I had never found her, or seen the state Ian was in, I would be surviving in less of a shell than I am now. I’m sure living with all the unanswered questions would be worse than knowing what happened to
them. The worst part of that night, the part that changed me forever, was just as we were about to make it outside of the fence. Crane found us, stopping the train, ripping me away from Lina to teach me a lesson: that I can never leave the District.

  Adam continues, “There was chatter at the CIA. The security threat alert was its highest since 9/11. They were expecting something, they just didn’t know what. I made the runs on Crane’s agenda, dropped the package for the Funding Entities. It was postmarked for Sweden. I was supposed to meet my contact in the post office but he never showed. Well, until he stumbled across me waiting by the train. He had been shot and he was mumbling something about not having time, that it was starting now, that he had found other Districts.”

  I sit up straight, fully alert now. He knows. I thought I was the only one.

  “He said there were three that he had found. Someone was watching him and put a bullet in his chest to shut him up. He said that the Districts are the only safe havens for those that were chosen, the only safe places to escape the bombings. The president, the U.N.-it’s global, starting with Japan, then the U.S., I just don’t know where next. But by now, I’m sure it’s already done.” He exhales loudly, breathing out all the strength it took to hold this information in for so long without telling anyone.

  “So do you meet with your contact again?”

  “I don’t know.” He shrugs, shaking his head. “My contact died. I have his old cell phone but the battery is dead. On the way back, during the bombings, the phone still worked. That’s how I found Sam. Whatever network it was connected to survived the attack. But I haven’t left here. I’ve had no communications with them. I was supposed to find out who the Entities are and report back to President Berkley. But I’m not sure if he’s even the president any longer.”

  “How did you not get hit with all those bombs?”

  “The tracks are secluded and the train is very fast. Crane refurbished the tracks and I’m sure he did so already knowing where the missiles were going to drop.”

  “I could see the bombs flying through the air from here and smoke over the treetops,” I tell him. “What did it look like, afterwards?”

  “All I could see was smoke rising in every direction. The city was pretty much flattened. And when I went looking for Sam… I was afraid he was already dead, there was nothing left of his apartment. The only thing that kept him safe was he had been assigned to night patrols, watching the blockades for anyone trying to head north to Phoenix. He saw everything and could do nothing. There were holes in the ground, body parts, houses gone, survivors wandered in shock.”

  “What did you do?”

  “I grabbed Sam and we ran back to the train. We ran as fast as we could, back to you and Lina.”

  “So now what? Are you still on this mission?”

  “I still have a job, Andie. Actually I have two. I’m the Volker District Sovereign and I’m not sure what’s left of the U.S. government but I still want to know who the Funding Entities are. I want to know how far this has spread.”

  “Why are you telling me all this, Adam?”

  “Because we’re in this together, you’re the only one that I can trust.”

  I simply nod my head in agreement. However, I don’t tell him that I know there are at least five Districts.

  --

  It takes the entire weekend but we get the seedlings in the ground. Adam stays to help. For some crops it’s just the plowing of the fields and dropping seeds. For other’s it’s more labor intensive. Trellises and stakes have to be set, and the seedlings supported. It’s hard work for four adults and six children. When all the work is complete, on Sunday, Elvis surprises us with a whole pig for dinner. He digs a hole in the ground and roasts it in the dirt. I’ve seen this done before but never actually eaten the meat. It’s delicious, smoky and juicy. Paired with the pickled corn and buttermilk biscuits I can’t seem to shove enough of it in my mouth. When Elvis brings out the homemade ice cream, all the children squeal with excitement.

  We stuff ourselves with the feast until the spring night comes. Then we rush to clean up the tables in the courtyard before the chill of night arrives. Sam mumbles something about having homework to do and wanders back to his place above the library-house. Blithe and I take our children home and ready them for bed, leaving Adam and Elvis to finish the rest of the duties.

  “Mommy?” Lina asks as I get her ready for bed.

  “Yes, sweetie.”

  “I like it here.”

  “I do too,” I smile at her and kiss her nose.

  “Mommy…”

  “What’s wrong, Lina?”

  “I miss Daddy.” She looks down to the owl in her hand, petting its head.

  “I do too, Lina.”

  “Will we ever see him again?”

  “I hope so. But I don’t know when. Just remember, your Daddy loves you, Lina. And even though he can’t be with us right now I know he’s thinking about you. Does that help you feel a little better?”

  She nods her head yes, then lays down, clutching the small owl to her chest. I pull the heavy covers over her, pulling them under her chin as Stevie hops on the bed and curls up next to her. “I love you, my little Catalina.” I kiss her one last time before I walk over to the other small bed to pull the covers over Astrid. She’s already fast asleep. Thankfully she didn’t hear Lina.

  I sit in the rocking chair by the door. Rocking a little, thinking about her question, wondering what Ian is doing right now. All I can envision is him locked away in some musty basement, just like Crane held me in, trying to figure out what is going on around him. His other child should be almost one by now. The thoughts pull up too many memories and I have to stop myself. I stare out the window until I hear the steady breaths of Lina sleeping, then I get up to leave the room.

  Adam is in the hallway, waiting. I wonder if he heard our conversation. If he did he doesn’t let me know right away.

  “Elvis is going to hang a punching bag in the barn so you can practice.”

  I open my mouth to speak to him, but it fills with thick saliva, and then I have that feeling, the sour churning in my stomach. I’m going to throw up. I’m not sure if it’s from all the food I stuffed myself with, the conversation with Lina, or the thoughts of Ian’s new life. Either way, it sends me running to the bathroom with just enough time to heave up the delicious dinner, ice cream and all. I didn’t have time to close the bathroom door behind me, and as I wash up Adam walks into the bathroom.

  “Are you sick?”

  “I don’t know, it just snuck up on me.”

  “Were you drinking wine again?” The corner of his lip starts to rise into a clever smirk. I’m sure he’s referring to when I tried to seduce him but ended up drunk and puking up a bottle of wine, one of my more embarrassing nights.

  “Go away,” I tell him, pushing hard at his chest. “I’ll be out in a minute.”

  When I’m finished cleaning myself up I find Adam in the living room. He’s looking at something in his hand, placing it in his pocket as I enter the room. He holds his hand out pulling me down onto his lap, like he used to, before we were sinners.

  “I have to go back you know,” he tells me.

  “I know.”

  “I don’t like being away from you.”

  “You mean, you like being able to sleep at night?” I twist his words so they don’t sound so serious. So it doesn’t sound like he might desire me as much as I do him. Because I know this is wrong, what’s brewing between us, it’s all wrong.

  “No, it’s more than being able to sleep Andie.”

  He reaches into his pocket, pulling something out. I notice a small chain with something dangling off it. He reaches around the back of my neck, clasping it. When he removes his arms I look down to see a small metal owl charm dangling off the thin chain. Bright blue stones create its jewel eyes, tiny feather wisps are etched into the silver form.

  “She was a jeweler, before she was a Volker,” he tells me. I try to think of
who he’s talking about, the female Volker from the hospital, who I got jealous about. “She made this for me. I asked her to make it.” That explains the hushed conversation, the secret smiles. “Years ago, when we were traveling back to Phoenix, and we stopped at that tree house, I saw you with Lina’s owl. I…” he stops midsentence, trying to find his words, possibly remembering all we’ve been through together.

  Now I feel like an ass.

  There’s nothing I can say. I just bury my face in his neck, and wrap my arms around him, trying to end his words. Thankful that he doesn’t say anything more. That he doesn’t push for this relationship to be more than it is: two people trying to hold onto something normal, running from our pasts, trying to cope with the present.

  CHAPTER fourteen

  Halfway through spring something starts to change in me. I’ve been training for weeks. I should be getting stronger, but I feel myself getting weaker. I feel more tired. I can’t help but sense there’s something wrong with me, that I’m sick, that I sustained permanent damage to my vital organs during Baillie’s attack. Or worse, I’m finally going crazy.

  I drag myself to the hospital to talk to Dr. Akiyama.

  “I don’t feel well,” I tell him.

  He raises his eyebrows at me. I’m sure he thought he was safe. That he got me well so Crane wouldn’t be breathing down his back.

  “Well?” he asks me.

  “Something’s wrong. I’m tired, too tired.”

  “Have you gone back to sleeping at night yet?” He gives me that look. I’ve seen it before from Doctors. He’s busy, too busy for this. He wants to brush me off. I shake my head no at him. This is different. “Are you eating?” He inspects my face, glancing down my frame and back up. I shake my head yes at him. He sighs loudly. “Then let’s run some tests.”