The Phoenix Project Series: Books 1-3: The Phoenix Project, The Reformation, and Revelation

by Pritchard, M. R.

  “Where have you been?” I ask.

  “I was in Colorado. I came as soon as I heard they had you.”

  “What’s in Colorado?”

  “It’s where I live now.”

  I stare at him. They let him in here, whoever is keeping me in this room. That means he might be able to get me out of here.

  “Get me out if here,” I tell him.

  “I can’t.”

  “I haven’t seen my children in days, weeks. I don’t know how long it’s been. This place is making me crazy. I’m losing it.”

  “I can tell.” He takes a step towards me, pressing his sleeve to his bleeding mouth.

  “Get me out of here, Adam.”

  “I’m trying.” He winces as he presses on his damaged lip.

  “I’m begging you.” I stop myself from falling to my knees and raising my hands to him. That would make me look more pathetic than I already do. Still, I consider the act.

  His expression tightens and he seems to forget about his lip. “You should never beg for anything, ever.”

  “I have to,” I argue with him. “I need to go home.”

  “I’ll figure something out.” He glances towards the door. “Come here.” He looks towards me again and holds his hand out. I look at it, trying to figure out how I should feel right now. I know that if I take his hand he will pull me to him, and I can’t have that. I am familiar with the feelings that his closeness brings. “Come here,” he beckons me again.

  “I… I can’t,” I tell him.

  “Why?” A deep crease appears between his eyes.

  “You lied to me. You left us.”

  “I know.” He drops his hand, the one he was holding out to me.

  “Do you know we buried you, Adam? I buried you. Every day I visited your grave. I brought your son there. We mourned you and here you’ve been the entire time.” I pause, trying to lick my dry lips so I can talk more. “He looks just like you. Blue eyes, dark hair. Lina named him Raven.” He smiles a small bit. “I could never forget you even if I tried because every time he looks at me, I see you.” He smiles again. “Don’t smile about it, Adam. Things aren’t all perfect. Crane is trying to get rid of him, your son, because he’s quiet. He’s never spoken a word, he’s never uttered a sound. Crane thinks Raven is handicapped in some manner.”

  “I know,” Adam bows his head.

  “No, you don’t,” I tell him. “You don’t know anything. Morris died. I’ve replaced him. I had to reunite with Ian. District rules, they didn’t want me tarnishing their family image, their guidelines. Do you understand what that means? I had to move on. If I had known all the time that you were alive, you’re alive, Adam! And you didn’t think to come back to us? Why?”

  “Because,” he spits out. “Because Crane left me to die on that rooftop. After all I’ve done for him. For the Districts. For the Reformation. I’m going to ruin him. If it’s the last thing I do.”

  “We are already working on getting him ejected. Elvis and Ian and me. That’s what I was doing out here. I met with the other District leaders, a few are on board but it’s hard, they’re all afraid of him. Then there’s Tonopah. I don’t know if Sakima will ever be on board. Either way, they’re all on board, they’re siding with us.”

  “I’m going to do more than get him booted.”

  “What?”

  “I’m going to kill him.” Adam looks away from me.

  “Is that all you care about?” I ask. “Getting revenge on Crane?”

  “You would too, if he had shot you and left you to die.”

  “He told me that the Survivors shot you.”

  “He lied. He always lies. You know that.”

  “Crane shot you…”

  “Yes.” He presses his finger to his chest, just to the left of his heart. “Right here. Point blank with the pistol in his hand.”

  My jaw drops slightly. “How did that not kill you?”

  The corner of Adam’s lip tips up. “Bulletproof vest. Not Volker issue, of course. My own. Thinner, less noticeable. Didn’t stop the shock, still knocked me out for a few minutes.”

  “And then?”

  He takes a step away from me, thumbs hanging on the belt-loops of his waistband. “You don’t want to know the rest.”

  I swallow hard, trying not to imagine all of the horrible things the Survivors could have put him through. “So you’re going to kill Crane, and then what? What will you do after you kill him?”

  “Something.”

  “You have no desire to come back to us?”

  “You already told me, you have Ian. You replaced me.” He looks into my eyes and, dropping his voice barely above a whisper, he tells me, “I never replaced you, Andie.”

  I don’t know what to say.

  He walks towards the door.

  “Where are you going?” I ask, not wanting him to leave me.

  “I have to go barter.”

  He knocks three times. The door opens. He leaves. I let my body slide to the floor. I wish I could say my mind was numb. Instead, it’s reeling.

  I sit for an unknown amount of time, my thoughts interrupted when a tray slides under the door. There are two bottles of water this time, two pieces of bread, a brown banana, and a little sad potato. I take the tray, hesitant to eat. My stomach growls louder. It’s been over two days. I have to eat this. I pick up the bottles of water and hold them to the light. This time nothing floats. I open the first bottle and sip. There is no sweetness. I eat the meal.

  --

  I sit on the floor, eating my breakfast of bread soaked in goat milk. The door opens without a knock and Adam enters my cell.

  “Why are you eating on the floor?” he asks, his face twisted in confusion.

  I look around the room, chewing. “I don’t see a table anywhere.”

  “You could sit on the bed.”

  I shake my head. “I don’t want crumbs on it.”

  He sits across from me, crossing his legs and leaning back on his hands.

  “You said you were going to get me out,” I remind him.

  “I am. I just need a few more days.”

  “I can’t wait any longer. It’s getting worse. I haven’t seen the sun in weeks. I haven’t felt the air on my skin. I’m not some war criminal. I don’t know who these people are. One minute I’m traveling with Sam and the next we are being ambushed. I didn’t do anything. I don’t deserve this. I want to go home. I want to see my children.”

  “Why were you traveling with a load of horses and guns?” he asks me.

  “We were preparing for an attack. Survivors at the fence in Phoenix and Crystal River. We were preparing to defend ourselves.”

  “Why didn’t you pick up troops in Tonopah?” he asks me.

  I tilt my head and narrow my eyes at him. “Why are you asking me that?”

  “Just tell me. I’ll explain later.” He moves to rest his elbows on his knees and folding his hands together, he sets his chin on them. Waiting.

  “George Crossbender pointed out that the people of Tonopah are all medicated. All of them. You remember? They won’t follow our orders. They will only follow the orders of Sakima. We didn’t want those troops within our walls. They can’t be trusted.”

  Adam nods. “How were you going to get rid of Crane?”

  “I’m not sure.”

  “How could you not be sure?” he asks, annoyed.

  “Are you trying to get information out of me?” I ask him, thinking that maybe this is how he’s going to barter. Trade me for information.

  “Yes.”

  “I’ve never lied to you, Adam. I’ve always told you everything.”

  “Yes, you did. And that’s why Crane tried to kill me. He said that I knew too much. Now tell me how you were going to get rid of him?”

  “I don’t know. Elvis and Sam and Ian had some plan. Alexander said he was in but only if he could go back to Hanford to be with his family. We weren’t going to decide until I got back with the supplies. I was
hoping there would be a diversion with the attack from the Survivors and we could force him out and let the Survivors have him.”

  Adam nods, digesting what I’ve told him.

  “You weren’t like this before, Adam.”

  “Things are different now.” He narrows his eyes at me, his mood shifting. “You’re one of them.”

  “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  “You’re an Entity now. I know the pedestal Crane keeps you on.”

  “Did you forget, Adam, if that is even your real name?” I reach forward and jerk his wrist out. “You were Sovereign too. We share the same mark!” I look down to see his wrist covered with a thick leather band. I feel him tense under my hand. His pulse increases to a fast beat under my fingertips. I shouldn’t have touched him. “You know that I had no choice in the matter. You brought me to them, Adam! You know what they did to me!”

  “I have a plan.” He stares at my hand on his wrist. I drop it and move away from him.

  “I don’t know what’s wrong with you,” I tell him. “One minute you’re telling me you’re going to get me out of here, the next you’re prodding me for information and labeling me as being one of them. I had no choice. You know this.”

  “You shouldn’t worry about it. You have Ian.”

  I lean back, confused by his response. It doesn’t make sense. He doesn’t make sense. But then, not much of this does.

  “Don’t be a dick, Adam. I don’t understand what’s going on with you right now. Yes, Ian is there, he’s still not the same. It’s never been the same since you showed up.”

  “You have Ian,” he tells me again. As he stands, he opens his hand and reveals my necklace. I take it from him. Then he walks for the door, stopping before he knocks. “They want to trade you for Crane,” he tells me.

  Adam knocks three times, then turns to see me staring with my mouth open. He knows exactly what I know: Crane will never trade himself for me. I catch a gleam of this in Adam’s eyes right before he walks out of my cell.

  --

  “It’s been a few days.” I stand in the middle of my room as Adam enters.

  “I know.”

  “What’s taking so long?”

  “I just need you to do one thing.” He pauses, pondering, with his hands shoved deep in the pockets of his jeans and his shirt stretched tight across his shoulders, his face takes on a brooding stare.

  “What?”

  “Kiss me.”

  “Don’t you dare.”

  “You have to.”

  “No, I don’t.”

  “They’re watching. I told them we were together. That I want you back. They don’t believe me. They said if you kiss me, then you can go. We can go. I’ll take you back to Phoenix.”

  “I thought they wanted Crane?”

  “They do, but we have to go get him. A swap at the gates. Are you ready?” he asks. “Are you ready to go home?”

  I stare at his lips, remembering how they felt. How good it felt. What it was like to be in his arms. I made that mistake before. I can’t do it again. I can’t bear to see what it would do to Ian.

  “I can’t.”

  “Why?”

  “You’re lying to me.”

  “Then you stay,” he threatens.

  “No! I can’t stay here any longer.”

  He looks at me with a steely gaze. “Don’t look at me like that.”

  “Like what?” he asks, his voice gruff.

  “Like you’re a porn star or something. Actually, don’t ever look at me like that again. Period. I hate you, Adam. I hate that you left us. I hate that you lied to me. Every single chance you got you lied to me. And here you are, lying again.”

  He smiles. Standing, he walks closer to me. I walk backwards until my back presses firmly against the wall. I am in an unfortunate position. Adam stops, his toes millimeters from mine.

  Lowering his voice, “They’re watching,” he tells me, his eyes flitting towards the door.

  I turn my head just slightly, seeing shadows pass from a small crack in the door that I never noticed before. I look back to Adam. He licks his lips.

  “Kiss me now and we walk out that door,” he whispers as his eyes gaze down to the necklace around my neck. The one he retrieved for me.

  “You’re lying,” I tell him, my heart thumping faster in my chest.

  “Try me.” He leans forward, the tip of his nose trails across my cheekbone, to the sensitive skin of my ear, down my neck. I feel his warm breath there, caressing my collarbone. Trying not to shiver or groan or anything is too difficult with him so close, doing what he’s doing.

  I close my eyes, trying to think straight. Of all of my options I can’t think of a worse one. Ian already forgave me for everything else that happened, but this, if he found this out, Adam offering to save me in exchange for a kiss. I’m confident Ian will kill him if he ever finds him or maybe Ian will finally give up on me.

  It’s nothing, I tell myself. Just a kiss. Just a quick kiss. It would mean nothing. Just my freedom. It could mean nothing. Or it could bring me more trouble. Loads of trouble.

  I open my eyes to find Adam staring down at me still. He raises his eyebrows.

  “I hate you for this,” I tell him.

  “Good,” he replies, resting his hands on the wall behind me.

  “I buried you once already. This is unfair.”

  “Life is unfair,” he replies in a whisper.

  “This will never happen again.”

  His lip twitches at the corner.

  “This will never happen again,” I repeat, more for me than him.

  I take a breath in, and moving up on my toes, I press my lips to his. I kiss the dead man, the dead man who saved my life multiple times. And I take that tingling feeling in my gut and push it to somewhere dark and far away. That feeling is reserved for Ian, not Adam. He is dead to me and I can never feel that way about him again. One-one thousand, two-one thousand, three-one thousand, I count in my head. Then I pull away, the soles of my feet planted firmly on the floor, my back against the wall. When I look back up to Adam he is staring at me with a thoughtful gaze.

  “Was that so hard?” he asks.

  “You have no idea how hard that was,” I tell him before fixing my eyes on the empty space behind his shoulder.

  He nods. “Let’s get you out of here.”

  Taking my hand, he turns and walks towards the door. He knocks three times. The door opens and I recognize Chuck with a smug look on his face. He thinks I’m crazy. He’s right.

  We step into the hallway. It’s dark, the only light coming from the ends of the hallway where large windows stream in daylight. I notice the long hallway with doors every few yards. There is colorful tile on the wall. Short lockers line the walls. I know where we are. We are in a school. I turn, looking at the room we have exited, seeing the faded area on the wall where it looks like a sign was once attached. Judging from the size of the room and the presence of the toilet and the sink, I’m quite confident that they were holding me in none other than a large handicapped bathroom.

  Suddenly I feel filthy. Filthier than the days I spent in there without a shower. A small noise of disgust escapes my throat.

  “Want a hot shower?” Adam asks.

  He must have heard me. “That would be great.”

  “Come on then.”

  I follow him down the hallway. He turns, headed for a bright stairwell. There are more large windows here. I follow him down the two flights. He turns left. We pass a few men in the hall who stop talking and watch as we walk by them.

  “Where are we going?” I ask Adam.

  “To the locker rooms. You said you wanted a shower.”

  We pass classrooms and a double-door labeled Gymnasium. “Just up here,” Adam tells me. He stops at the end of the hallway in front of the door that has a plaque with the figure of a woman in a dress. I look across the hall and see another door with the figure of a man on it. Adam pushes on the women’s door, holding it o
pen for me. I duck under his arm, stopping when I hear him following me.

  “You can’t come in here,” I tell him, holding my hand up to stop his advance into the room.

  “Why not?”

  “Because it’s for women. Didn’t you read the sign on the door?”

  “Get over it, Andie. You’re the only woman here right now and I’m not leaving you in here alone.”

  “Fine,” I tell him. “Just don’t get any ideas. Remember, I hate you.”

  I start down a row of lockers, finding a row of bathroom stalls and curtained shower stalls at the end of the room. I stop, looking down at myself. I have no change of clothes or soap or towels. “This is going to be a cold shower, isn’t it?” I ask Adam.

  “No. They have some power here,” he tells me as he starts opening the lockers. “Just not a lot. So don’t go crazy. We don’t want to piss them off by draining the hot water tank.”

  “What are you doing?” I ask.

  “They said there were towels and soap in one of these lockers.”

  “What about a change of clothes?”

  “There are still old gym clothes in here.” He pulls out a dark pair of sweatpants and shakes them out. “Might fit you.”

  I move to open the locker behind him and find a folded towel and bottle of liquid soap. “Jackpot!” I whisper as I take them and head for the shower.

  I kick off my boots outside of the shower and hang the towel on the hook. Stepping into the stall fully clothed, I start the water. At first it’s cold, then freezing, then it begins to warm. I strip my dirty clothes off, squeezing the soap onto them and washing them as I go.

  Lastly, I wash my body. When I think I’ve finally rinsed the last of the soap out of my hair, I wrap myself in the towel and hang my wet clothes on the towel hooks. Taking my now clean underwear, I head for the row of hand dryers attached to the wall, noticing Adam sitting on the benches near the lockers, a stack of folded clothes next to him. On the top of the pile is a pair of brightly colored lacy underwear and a sports bra. I cringe.

  “What?” Adam asks innocently.

  “Those underwear look a little small and slutty.” I point at the pile of clothes.

  “Then free-ball,” he suggests with a shrug. “Dryers don’t work.”