With My Body

by Jo Briggs

  “Oh,” was all the sound omitted from Elle’s mouth, as her cheeks coloured brightly.

  “Sorry Will, have those back, and we will find our own.” Cate intervened; placing the two untouched glasses back on the tray, he was still holding; frightened that Elle would chuck the glasses' contents over him.

  William muttered his thanks, turning on heel to move back into the crowd after casting a long, lingering stare at Elle.

  “Oh marvellous, I had set out to avoid him and run into him at the first turn! I can’t believe I mistook him for a waiter.” Elle grumbled.

  Cate chuckled. “I am sure he will get over it. I think he was the shock of seeing you again that caused him to be silent. You must have seen how he looked at you – he certainly did not look like a man who wanted to be avoided.”

  Elle pulled a face and was about to reply, but was stopped as William reappeared in front of her, minus the drinks' tray this time.

  “Sorry…” He started, “…that I had to rush off just then. I did not mean to appear rude, but I had a table of people claiming they were dying of thirst!” He tried to joke.

  “That’s fine.” Elle responded stiffly.

  “So how have you been?”

  “Sure, I guess.”

  “I hear you have moved back to England.” He said shyly, his eyes searching hers, as though he wanted to say something more.

  She nodded silently, trying to do her best to discourage the conversation from continuing.

  Clearly surprised by her coldness, William's brow furrowed slightly as he looked quizzically at her. “Jess seems to be ecstatic that her momentous day has finally arrived. She was showing off her wedding dress to Gina earlier; it’s beautiful designed.”

  Elle shrugged, “What are sisters for?” - still giving him nothing to work with.

  Frustrated by Elle’s lack of conversation, when all he had been doing for the past few months, since he found out she was coming was planning what to say to her after four years of no contact, his eyes bored into her, trying to fathom why she was being this way.

  Dylan appeared at her side, interrupted any further conversation. “Sorry to interrupt, but this gorgeous woman promised me a dance.” Cate had sent him to rescue her.

  Scowling at the other man, William nodded and turned to walk away without another word.

  With him gone, Elle relaxed, and let out a deep breath, she had been holding to stop herself from trembling in front of him. “Cate asked me to come and rescue you; she said you used to be involved with him, and thought things might be awkward between you.”

  Elle gave a tight smile “You could certainly describe it that way.”

  “I don’t think he appreciated me interrupting.” Dylan mused, as they both observed William staring in their direction, with a continuous frown upon his face.

  “I guess he is not as proficient at receiving the cold shoulder, as he is at dishing it.”

  “He doesn’t strike me as the type that is used to being ignored.”

  “I cannot claim to understand what makes him tick anymore. I thought I knew him extremely well, but he did something I find unforgivable, so honestly do not care what he thinks anymore.”

  “Sounds like a heavy conversation topic for a party.”

  Elle laughed, “I agree, maybe we should have that dance after all?"

  After burning some nervous energy on the dance floor with Dylan, they went to join the rest of the group. As they conversed about the daily happenings of their lives over the next couple of hours, Elle could not help but be aware of the sullen glances being cast in her direction from William.

  “Will seems to be looking over this way a lot.” Cate whispered in her ear as the others at their table circulated the room, dancing or talking to other guests.

  “Let him.”

  “Did it ever occur to you that he might regret his ignoring of your messages, and now he doesn’t know how to broach, the topic of Christian with you?”

  Frowning Elle spoke, “Has he been trying to find out about Christian from other people instead?” The idea of Christian being discussed by William with someone else left her feeling unnerved.

  “Not that I am aware of, but Charlie would have naturally mentioned him in passing, so he must know bits and pieces about him. Maybe he just wants to know more from you though; you are his mother after all.”

  “Well, he gave up all rights to knowing about Christian’s life the day he chose not to be part of his life.”

  “But, didn’t it ever strike you as odd that he ignored them altogether after the way he fought to see you, before you left for NY.”

  “I can’t say I ever gave it much thought, why?”

  “What if someone maliciously deleted the messages before he saw them, and he doesn’t actually know that Christian is his?”

  “Who would gain anything from doing such a hateful thing?”

  “Charlotte.”

  Elle looked over to where Charlotte was standing, with an aloof-looking William, her hands were all over him, and sense of doubt over her earlier summary of William’s character swept over her. “But, she wasn’t even dating him when I sent those messages.”

  “No, but I recently found out she filled in for Will’s usual assistant during that time period. I would not put it past her that she deleted them, so not to ruin her chances with him. You know she has been after him since day one.”

  “I know she is desperate to be with him, but she must know it would be all for nothing if he found out - would she risk that really?”

  “Who knows what was going on in her head?”

  “So, do you have any proof that she really did this, or are we just guessing?”

  “Just guessing, unless we can get her to confess.”

  “That’s hardly likely.”

  “You could always simply tell him about Christian in person and beat her at her own game.”

  “And, how do I explain the last four years of not telling him then – it would look like my fault, rather than hers.” Elle said not quite ready to accept that she might be wrong in her assumptions of William’s silence.

  “Tell him your suspicions.”

  “I am not sure.” Elle still did not like the idea of having to go, and grovel to William, especially after her earlier cold treatment at his attempts of conversation.

  “You want Christian to have the chance to know his father don’t you?”

  “Yes, of course. But, it’s hard to put aside the last four years of contempt for him on mere a guess.”

  “Well, you have to do something; otherwise she would have won – she has already convinced him to marry her. And, once that ring is on her finger, you will stand no chance at getting him to acknowledge Christian; she will poison him against you.”

  Elle looked incredulous. “He is marrying her?”

  “Yes, Jess told me, they were going to make the announcement tomorrow, after the wedding.”

  “You know, when I had the altercation with her, before she said that he had chosen her baby over mine, I thought she had meant he actually willingly decided that, but it makes more sense now that she conveniently made it sound that way to cover her tracks.”

  “Elle, you seriously need to tell Will all this, even if he refuses to believe you, I am sure the seeds of doubt will start to grow, and she is bound to slip up somewhere along the line.”

  Seeing the others returning to the table from the dance floor, they moved onto another subject.

  As the evening progressed, Elle had to restrain herself from confronting Charlotte; her nemesis seemed to be on a mission of flaunting her relationship with William. On several occasions, when they were dancing near to their table, Charlotte had made a point of initiating a full-on kiss, which William seemed too embarrassed to make a scene about, except for pulling her back to their own table. She could be overheard by other guests making derogatory comments about Elle, which William made an effort to curtail with his formidable stare; despite the obvious pregnanc
y bump, Charlotte was carrying her behaviour, to an inexperienced observer, would appear as the result of drinking more than just soft drinks. But, Elle suspected the behaviour was because of her secret drug habit. Clearly embarrassed, William seemed to have no choice, but make their exit from the party early.

  “I certainly cannot imagine why Will is allowing his child’s health to be put at risk by allowing that woman to drink so excessively.” Mrs. Potter, who was sitting at Elle’s table, commented once the couple had retreated from the room. She was the wife of a filmmaker who was associated with Dexter Media’s ad campaigns. Her husband also employed Cate, as part of his photographic team, and so knew all three of them - Cate, Elle, and William - very well.

  “I don’t think it was brought on by a drink.” Cate responded to Mrs. Potter observation.

  “Does he know about her drug history?” Elle asked quietly.

  “I have no idea, but Charlie might.”

  “I am just going to go outside to make a call to Rachel, to check on Christian.” Elle excused herself from the table, to see if she could discretely catch up to the retreating couple, to see how William was reacting to Charlotte’s odd behaviour.

  Out in the deserted hallway, Elle could hear the arguing voices of William and Charlotte drifting downward through the open staircase.

  “I cannot believe how irresponsible you are being – didn’t your doctor say it’s bad for the baby to drink this much alcohol!”

  “I am not drunk.”

  “Then, how do explain the fact that you cannot even stand up without my help, and you just behaved abominably, in front of all those people?”

  “You drove me to it!”

  “How exactly am I to blame?”

  “You went over to that bitch TWICE, and tried to talk to her after you promised you would not do so.” Elle was standing open-mouthed, as Charlotte screamed, her voice shrill as it echoed down the walls to where she stood. “I never promised you any of the sort – she is a guest in my home. I was beginning polite by talking to her.”

  “You told me, you would be here for our child yet, at the first opportunity you have to go off, and try to get in her pants.”

  “What the hell are you talking about – I never went over to her with that intention, the drink is making you delusional. I said I would be here for the child, and I will be - I am marrying you for goodness sake.”

  “I told you, I am not drunk! I simply took a pill to calm my nerves.”

  “What kind of pill?”

  “Just an upper, It’s no biggie. I do it all the time.”

  “No biggie? Your disgusting habit could be hurting MY child.”

  “I only take them because I am so frightened that you will leave me for that bitch when you find out the -” Elle’s heart began to race as she knew Charlotte had slipped up.

  “When I find out what?”

  “You are trying to confuse - I don’t know what I am saying.” Sobbing noises started.

  “Charlotte – tell me, when I find out what?”

  The sobbing became louder. “Owww, you are hurting my arm!”

  “Stop with the fake tears, Charlotte. We will continue this discussion in the morning, and you may as well know now - I will not be taking you to Derbyshire. I do not want you to be able to ruin Charlie’s wedding with more scenes like this tonight.”

  “You just don’t want me to be there, so you can get back into HER good books.”

  “No, I don’t want you there, in case your jealousy gets out of hand again, and I need time to think away from you.”

  “If you leave me, I will abort our child.”

  “You undoubtedly are a heartless bitch to threaten such a thing, I have already said I will do my duty and marry you for the sake of the child, but that does not mean I have to like it, and it most certainly will not stop me from spending time with whom I choose.”

  The sobbing continued for a few moments then just silence.

  Elle blew out the breath she had been holding, amazed at all that had been overhead. So, Charlotte had slipped up. But he was still marrying her, despite the abortion threat and the fact he clearly could tell she was lying to him about something.

  Despite an overwhelming rush to tell him her suspicions, now he was experiencing his own doubts about Charlotte, Elle knew about William’s sense of duty. Now that, he had promised to marry Charlotte, he would still proceed, even if Elle did tell him about their child. That situation was one she refused become entangled in.

  Elle made a decision there and then to protect her child from being ensnared into the mess that their marriage would surely become. Even if, Charlotte had deleted her messages, and he had not knowingly rejected their child, she could not put her child through having a stepmother that dysfunctional.

  She would stay silent, and avoid William even more.

  Regrets, I have had a few

  15 April 2010

  Elle was sitting in a limo that the Ritz Carlton offered for her return journey to JFK airport in New York. She was just returning from a short trip there making sure her newest fashion boutique was still running smoothly, as well as catching up with old friends.

  In just two years of running her fashion label, she had acquired an enviable client list of ‘A’ list celebrities from all over the world after displaying a natural flair for on-trend clothes design. She had already exceeded her business plan goal of four stores in two years by recently opening a fifth in L.A, all of which was commanding a high rate of profit.

  Elle managed to grab one of the last available plane seats into Manchester airport. The airspaces above some of the Western European countries were being closed off for several days, due to an ash cloud plume drifting over from an on-going volcanic eruption in a part of Iceland.

  She was expected to be staying with her sister Jess and her husband, Charlie, who was expected back from a skiing holiday in Canada that morning. Their house was situated in a highly affluent part of Cheshire, which was a convenient fifteen minutes' drive from Manchester airport. Elle was due to spend the next week or so with them, until she could finalise the final changes on her Harrogate house.

  She was finally moving into her perfect house in Harrogate, Yorkshire in a week's time, after living in London for the past five years. The build was commissioned from scratch, using an architect friend. It was a large art-deco structure, spread over three floors, with lots of glass and dramatic angles. It had five bedrooms in all, a custom-made granite top kitchen with high glossed cupboards, an indoor pool and a design studio, so she did not need to be in London as much. It was fitted to rival any house shown on the TV show Grand Designs She could not wait to start this new chapter in her life.

  It was the sisters’ birthday in just a few days, and they were due to be having a small gathering with Elle, Jess, and her husband, Charlie, his two sisters and Charlie's best friend, William Dexter, whom she had not seen since the fateful night before Jess’ wedding, nearly two years before. Her other sister, Cate already confirmed she would not be able to make it over for a birthday party due to work commitments, but Elle would see her soon enough during her planned trip to Paris in a week or so.

  After overhearing the fact William was still planning to marry Charlotte, despite his discovery of her drug taking during her pregnancy, Elle had fabricated an excuse to leave London that night, and head up to Yorkshire to see her son, rather than bear standing up as Matron of Honour, next to William as Best Man. Yes, it had meant deserting her sister on her wedding day, but she could not bring herself to be in the same company of Charlotte and William. Elle found it inexcusable for Charlotte to have deleted her messages to William about Christian’s existence, and for William to have allowed himself to get involved with such a deranged woman in the first place. The overwhelming sense of protection, to protect her son from any unpleasantness, overrode her own burning guilt for not telling William about their son.

  Her sister had been surprisingly understanding about her desertion, despite
still not knowing that Christian was William’s. She understood it was too hard for Elle to stand next to William, knowing he was planning to marry someone else.

  It was just a month later she discovered William had seen the light of Charlotte’s unpredictable ways, and there would be no wedding after all, but by that time, it was too late for Elle to confess all. William had handed over all business decisions to his brother Evan, and left the country for an indefinite sabbatical to Chile, to do volunteer work, and re-evaluate his life.

  In the intervening months, with Elle renting a property in Yorkshire, Jess in Cheshire, and William’s absence from England, enabled them to grow closer as sisters’ once again, although Elle remained steadfast with the three people who did know the truth of Christian’s father that Jess could not learn the secret until William knew himself. She wanted to be the one to tell him once he returned from his retreat, which she had heard from Jess only a week ago, he had done a few days prior.

  The familiar voice of Adele suddenly burst into song from her shoulder bag, highlighting the fact that her sister was calling.

  Retrieving it, and hitting the accept button on her smartphone, Elle pressed it to her ear. "Shouldn't you be on a plane?" She asked. By her reckoning, her sister should still be in the air for several more hours.

  Instead of Jess’ expected voice coming through the speaker, a stressed-out Charlie spoke. "Elle, there has been a change of plan. We flew back early as there has been an accident. Jess has broken her leg quite badly in a couple of places; they have surgically placed a metal pin, inside the leg, to clasp the two bones together. I have arranged for you to be met at the airport by my driver, who will take you to the hospital."

  Elle knew just how much Jess hated hospitals, as she had spent a lot of her childhood in and out of many. A feeling of dread in her stomach, Elle asked slowly, "Is she ok, can I talk to her?" Ever since the trauma of her son’s birth, she always began to panic whenever a member of her family went into the hospital, for even the simplest of check-ups.