With My Body

by Jo Briggs

  "I believe Charlotte might continue to make things as awkward as possible, now that she has seen you out and about with Elle.”

  “It seems another dinner guest snapped a memento of your dinner the other night, and it clearly ruffled her feathers.” Richard replied simply.

  William had anger written all over his face, “Talk about delusional. It’s not like she has had any involvement in my life for years!" The venom he felt clearly pronounced, as he spoke the sentence.

  "I agree that Charlotte is clearly unstable, but she said this secret of Elle’s had to do with the messages she admitted deleting.”

  William frowned, “She finally admitted what the messages said?”

  Richard nodded, “She certainly implied that to be the case.”

  “So, what did she delete?”

  "She is claiming that Elle’s son is yours."

  William spluttered at this. "How on earth can he be mine, Elle’s child is only roughly five, I have seen him with my own eyes. Clearly, as I had not been with Elle in seven years I could not be his father." William was in turmoil, trying to work out how Charlotte had it in her head that Elle's son was his, as well. He knew she had heard the messages, but the timeline just did not add up. He shook his head, disbelieving the words, and thinking it was simply another ploy to be awkward, and make things rocky between him and Elle.

  Richard shrugged, “I guess she is just hoping to stir up old wounds, and cause some friction, so that you will agree to meet her.”

  Elle had heard every word they spoke of, about Charlotte's claim. She paled considerably, lingering outside the room, not daring to enter at that moment. She cursed Charlotte, and determined quickly that the time for her confession was now.

  William was enraged that Charlotte had tried to blacken Elle's name with such a thought.

  “You tell her from me, unless she agrees to a paternity test for Lily, and to giving me the real truth about what she deleted, then I will see her in court rather than any meeting room. And, if she even dares to publish the video, or if any rumours about Elle and her child appear in a newspaper, I promise, I will destroy her.”

  A less than composed Elle entered into the kitchen at this point. “I am sorry to interrupt, but I would like to express my intent to have it out with her no matter what.

  William shook his head at this, "I honestly don't want to get you involved."

  "Will, I am already involved…." Elle said firmly, moving to stand in front of his chair and placing a hand on his shoulder, as her eyes communicated with his silently. Sighing, William nodded a reluctant agreement.

  Richard watched this interaction with interest. Elle had always managed to persuade William to do something that he had initially refused to. She could penetrate even his stubbornest of moods, and clearly, this effect on him had evidently not dwindled.

  Turning to Richard, Elle began to speak "If you don't mind, I need to speak to Will alone for a while."

  William straightened up at this ask, slightly puzzled at what she would have to say in private that she could not say in front of Richard. Had this added accusation about her child made her not want to be involved with him, beyond the Charlotte problem?

  "Of course" Richard said, departing from the kitchen to allow them some privacy, and closing the door behind him.

  William looked questioningly at her.

  "Seeing Richard reminded me of our last day together…," She saw him stiffen, as she highlighted this memory. "What Charlotte said has made me think I need to tell you some background on what happened after I left, and what had given her reason for that accusation." Elle sounded more confident in what she was saying than she felt deep inside.

  "Elle, it was a long time ago…." He started taking some steps forward to lessen the distance between where they both stood.

  "I know, but it has to be said – the day I left was because the doctor said I probably could not carry another viable pregnancy, because of how much blood loss had occurred. I knew how much you wanted to be a father, and I did not want you to be saddled with someone who could not give you that. They started talking about operations..."

  He pulled her to him; he felt a light drop of tears hit his shirt, as her head came to rest against his shoulder.

  "But, it would not have made any difference. I loved you. You were my life – children or no children." His voice began to raise, obvious pain that had long been repressed surfacing once more.

  She tried to lean away from him, so she could look at him, but he misinterpreted her movement, and tightened his grip.

  "Will, can you release me, please" She responded, as she resisted this tightening.

  "Why do you suddenly not want me to touch you?" Hurt showed on his face, as he did as she requested, misinterpreting her intent to face him levelly,

  "Will, I simply had wanted to move my head up, so I could look at your face properly, as we continued this conversation." Elle replied patiently.

  The hurt expression upon his features soon changed to relief, as he settled for simply just holding her hands, as she opened her mouth once more. Nothing came out, as Elle was obviously struggling with how to word her next sentence.

  "It seems that diagnosis was wrong….in those few weeks of being in New York, I had continued to be ill, but I had simply put it down to the stress of everything. Then at a check-up with a new doctor, she asked me to have another scan. I was informed that, although I may have lost one child, there was still clearly another remaining there, of the same gestation age. They explained that we had probably had a multiple pregnancy, and only one had survived the fall."

  By this time, he was staring at her, open-mouthed. "Did something happen to that child too?" He asked quietly, his voice so low, she barely could make out what he said.

  She avoided his eyes. She gulped, as she gathered her wits about her.

  He held his breath, as he awaited her reply. Her next answer was going to be the most important of his life.

  Elle took a deep breath of her own, until she was felt composed enough to meet his eyes head on.

  "No, the child was born - A son. However, there were some complications."

  He pulled his hand from hers, a mixture of pain and anger on his face, as he glared at her. I have a son echoed through his brain, not quite believing what was happening to him.

  "I do not understand. The boy I saw was only about five, so how he can be mine, when he is too young to be from that pregnancy?" His voice trembled, as confusion raged through his head, while he tried to make sense of what she was saying.

  “Christian is simply small for his age, he is aged six and half," She explained.

  "Why did you not tell me?" A well of betrayal tightened across his chest.

  “I did try to tell you. The messages she deleted were telling you about his existence.”

  He shook his head, still confused. “Even so, those messages were from about five months after you left. Why did you wait so long even to get in touch?”

  “It was a difficult pregnancy, I could not cope with the news for a long time, and then, of course I did not expect to have my messages deleted by some unstable secretary who was shagging you.” She retorted, the stress of his accusing tone and glare getting to her. “I have already explained my regret over getting involved with her. I just don’t understand how you could have kept silent, about something as important as this, for seven years.”

  "I was too unwell to think straight when he was born, and for a considerable amount of time afterwards." She was beginning to feel sick from all the anxiety she was experiencing.

  "What do you mean?" A flash of concern flickering over his face, before the red anger blush came back once more.

  "No part of the pregnancy was easy; I was sick all day, every day. I could not work, but luckily, I was staying with my Aunt and Uncle Gardiner, so they took care of me. Not in a money sense, I had enough of my own for that, but just stability. I was diagnosed with pre-eclampsia when I had a few weeks remaining
before my due date, and had to stay in the hospital to be monitored. It became dangerous, so Christian was born via an emergency C-section, prematurely. He was developed enough to survive, but had to have some steroids to stimulate lung growth. Delivered at 36 weeks, he spent two weeks in the neonatal unit for monitoring purposes. I was in intensive care myself, but in time, they were satisfied I had no lasting damage. Christian, on the other hand, has suffered some hearing loss. He is classed as partially deaf due to the complications of pre-eclampsia, and had some surgery when he was small to increase the scope of his hearing. In that first year, I was a complete mess, as I had postnatal depression, brought on by the stress of my parents, our relationship, and all the baby complications. If it had not been for my aunt, I do not know what I would have done. Nevertheless, after some treatment, I started to stand on my own two feet again."

  His expression was guarded throughout her long speech, silently taking in every word.

  "How come no one thought to mention he was mine even during the years since? Had you sworn Charlie or Jess to keep it from me?" A fierce tone remaining in his voice.

  "They simply do not know that he is yours. I had no contact with anyone in my family, except my aunt, uncle, and Cate, for the duration of my pregnancy, and for a year after Christian was born. So Jess and Charlie did not even meet Christian until he was nearly two, and because he is pretty small for his age, they presumed he was much younger than that, and the result of something brief while I was in New York. They never directly asked me who his dad was, and I never volunteered the information, but I would never have lied about it. I just felt it better that perhaps they didn't know, as so much time had passed and you still had not made any contact with me."

  Scowling, his voice trembled with emotion again. "I would have, if I had been given a chance.”

  Elle rolled her eyes in exasperation. She had enough of him blaming her for Charlotte’s interference. “What did you expect Will? As far as I knew, you had ignored my messages. I was not about to fly across the ocean, on the off-chance that you had not intentionally ignored them. If you want to be angry with someone, then take it up with Charlotte. She is the catalyst of all this.”

  “Do not worry, I am extremely angry with her, and I will deal with her, but seven years of silence is a lot to forgive.”

  Grrr!

  Elle would not stay another moment when he kept repeating about it being her fault. How could he not understand her side of things? She spent four or so years thinking he had rejected their child, and then another two, simply putting her son first, while she waited for William to return from his sabbatical in Chile.

  “I have explained my reasons, Will. I was patient about your errors with Charlotte, but you do not seem to be offering me the same consideration.” Grabbing a nearby pen and paper, she wrote something down. “Now I refuse to stay here another moment, while you debate whether protecting my son is forgivable, or not. Once you are ready to stop being so judgemental, you will know where to find me.”

  With that, she stormed out of the room, past a surprised Richard, and upstairs to throw her remaining possessions into the suitcase haphazardly, not caring about anything, but getting the hell out of there.

  She descended the stairs, just as William was heading up them.

  “Please, do not leave me again,” he pleaded.

  “I just cannot be around you right now.” She responded, avoiding his wretched gaze. “I have called a cab that should be here in a few minutes.”

  “Ok, can I at least contact you in a day or two about meeting my son?”

  She nodded, feeling her resolve weakening slightly. “No matter what happens, you can see him whenever you like.”

  With that, she shuffled past him, and stood waiting outside in the driveway, determined not to cry until she was safe in the taxi that was thankfully making its way down the long drive, in the distance.

  Dejected, all William could do was watch her from the window. He knew her well enough to know that he would have to become more accepting of her reasons if he was going to try to persuade her to come back. Maybe a day, or two, to calm down was what both of them needed. Despite the heavy weight of anger residing inside his head, his heart felt like it was being ripped out of his chest all over again, seven years of pain reopened, and raw.

  Broken Dreams

  Richard's voice broke through William’s thoughts, as he continued to watch from the window, as Elle’s taxi drove down the driveway. "So, are you going to tell me what that was all about?”

  "It seems Charlotte's claim was true."

  "You mean her son is yours, after all?"

  William nodded, turning to face Richard fully, as he began to repeat what Elle had said to him.

  "Despite the length of time it took for her to tell you, at least you now know now. It sounds as if she has had a hard seven years. You have to put yourself in her shoes - before the misunderstanding was cleared up, she spent four years under the impression that you had rejected her son, and then that was topped off with seeing you engaged to Charlotte, because she was to have your child. You have to imagine how that must have felt. Any mother worth their salt is going to keep their child away from any instability like what Charlotte causes.”

  "I know all that, but you saw how she was just now; it’s like I am in the wrong for being angry about it regardless."

  William knew Richard was right; despite everything, he did not want to lose her now, and he was obviously ecstatic that he did have a son.

  "Now that it’s in the open, you both just need time to adjust, but mostly, you need to deal with the Charlotte problem once, and for all, so she can truly believe that her son will be in a stable environment, whether you are together or apart. From what I heard, I think that was why she walked out. You did not understand she did it all to protect her son; first from a disinterested father, and then from the stepmother from hell. If you knew once and for all if Lily was yours or not, you could make a clean break from all associations with Charlotte.”

  “Even if she is not mine, I could not abandon her to a life in a care system, as they certainly would not hand her over to her psychotic mother full-time. My conscience could not allow me to do something so callous; after all, she has only known me, Mrs. Button and her nanny, Lydia.”

  “You do not need to abandon her, there are legal ways to provide for the child, without having anything to do with Charlotte, but you have to realise that you need to put your son first now.”

  William nodded thoughtfully. “You are right; I am going to set some things in motion,” he added, as he exited the room in search of his mobile phone, that was still on charge in his office.

  Unplugging it, he sat down on the leather chair tucked behind his large desk, cluttered with papers that he had been neglecting since Elle’s arrival. Skimming through the contact list, he found the name he was searching for and hit the call button.

  “Mr. Croft’s office,” The receptionist answered, at the other end.

  “This is Mr. Dexter, is Mr. Croft free?”

  “Good morning, Mr. Dexter. One second, let me find out.”

  William strummed his fingers against the desk, in time to the terrible hold music. Thankfully, he was confident he would only have to put up with the noise for a few seconds.

  “Dexter, what can I do for you?”

  Elijah Croft was a lawyer he used whenever he wanted legal issues dealt with in a particular way, rather than placing them with his corporate legal team. Elijah had a highly successful reputation for applying just the right amount of pressure on an opposing counsel, to get the deal done in his clients favour.

  “I need a few things sorted.”

  He proceeded to explain the situation, with Charlotte continuously making threats to expose stories over their sex life, the uncertainty of Lily's paternity, and wanting to make a public statement about Christian being his son.

  “Ok, one thing at a time, give me until tomorrow and this woman… Charlotte Lucas will
be served with legal papers telling her to cease with the threats, or you will take her to court for defamation of character. We can also go down the route of injunctions if any paper tries to publish any of the stories. With regards to the paternity – are you named on the certificate?”

  “Yes, and I also have main custody, since social services, and the courts determined Charlotte too unhinged to raise Lily. She has a weekly visitation right.”

  “What do you want to happen if paternity shows you are not the biological father?”

  “I do not want the child to have to go into the fostering system, so I will endeavour to adopt her, and continue to provide for her in any means necessary. I just would like to have any contact with the mother done through legal channels from now on.”

  “As she is retaining her rights as the mother, even tentatively, via the weekly visit, you would have to go back to court and prove her to be an unfit mother, so she loses all her rights then the adoption could move forward. If you have proof, she is still taking drugs and sharing her life with dubious characters, that could be evidence enough. “

  “What if I am the father - can I still stop her from having anything to do with her?”

  “Yes, if you wanted, you could still take the same action.”

  “Ok, and what about making the statement about my son?”

  “Well, it would be the easiest method of silencing any stories. Forgive me of getting too personal here, but is there any doubt that he is yours?”

  “No.”

  “Then apart from discussing it with your son’s mother, I would just go ahead and announce it as soon as possible.”

  After finishing off the call, William tried to distract himself for the rest of the morning by talking to Richard about everything other than Charlotte and Elle. He resolved to give her until the evening before attempting to call her, to discuss his intentions with the public statement, and to sort out meeting Christian, finally.

  ~~~

  Elle had arrived at her new Harrogate home an hour or so after leaving William staring at her out of the window. She hoped she did not have to use the taxi company anytime soon, as the driver must think her rude and sullen, since she had remained silent for the whole journey. She knew if she talked to anyone, she would burst into tears and not stop.