God Ain't Through Yet

by Mary Monroe

  Charlotte was just inside the doorway, leaning against the counter. I didn’t like the look on her face, or her tone of voice. One thing I could say about my relationship with my daughter was that I never let her forget which one of us was the parent and which one of us was the child. Whenever I got too liberal with her, to reestablish my role, I just thought about the incorrigible kids of some of the people I knew, and all of the problems that they were embroiled in. Like the kids acting out in school, talking back, running wild in the streets, doing drugs, fucking their brains out, and so on. That all reminded me of how good my relationship with my child was. But to save myself some time, I thought about children like Jade, Rhoda’s only daughter.

  Even though Rhoda was a stern parent who kept a tight rein on her little devil, Jade made my daughter seem like the poster child of innocence. That was one of the many things that I had to be thankful for. Nevertheless, I gave Charlotte one of my meanest looks. But before I could deal with her the way I wanted to, her daddy took over.

  “I know you didn’t clean up that room that quick,” Pee Wee said, shaking a finger in Charlotte’s direction. “Did you find your mama’s earring?”

  “I couldn’t even find the fine-toothed comb that Mama told me to go over my room with!” she hollered with a hopeless look on her face.

  My daughter said and did some cute things. And when she did, Pee Wee and I usually laughed at the same time. But not this time.

  “What’s a fine-toothed comb anyway? And how is it going to help me find an earring?” Charlotte gave me a wide-eyed look.

  “Don’t worry about the earring right now. Just go to your room,” I ordered.

  As soon as Charlotte disappeared, I turned to Pee Wee. “What’s going on? What kind of change are you talking about?”

  He shrugged his shoulders first; then he looked me in the eye. “I’m bored,” was all he said. He shrugged again. But this time the way he did it made it seem like he was in pain. And from the frown on his face, he must have been. There were tears in his eyes, and his forehead had deep lines stretched across it. I had never noticed them before, but they must have been there for a while, and quite permanent, because when the frown left his face, the lines remained.

  I gave him a puzzled look as I sat there waiting for him to give me more information. “And?”

  “And what?” he replied with his mouth resembling a hole in the ground.

  “So you’re bored. What else?”

  “That’s it. I’m bored.” He shrugged again. His whole face twitched for a few seconds, making him look like a confused rabbit.

  “Is that all? Is that why you are sitting here looking like Methuselah’s granddaddy? Is that the reason you got me all nervous and scared? I was sitting here thinking that you wanted a divorce or that you’re sick with something. And all this time your only problem is that you’re bored!” It took all of my strength for me to keep from laughing out loud. But I didn’t laugh, and I wouldn’t laugh until he told me what he was bored with. “You’re bored with…”

  He laughed before I could finish my sentence. “Don’t worry. You ain’t what I’m bored with. It’s just everything else. Runnin’ the shop so many years has become such a routine that I could cut hair in my sleep. The main reason I wanted my own business in the first place was so I wouldn’t have to worry about slavin’ away at a job I didn’t like, or a job that ended up borin’ me to death. Well, I got my own business and it’s so borin’ now that I can hardly stand to go in anymore.”

  “This is making no sense at all. You love being a barber. When we were kids that was all you talked about doing. And if you’re tired of being a barber, what else in the world do you think you can do at your age?”

  “I didn’t say I was tired of bein’ a barber,” he mumbled, looking at me with an uncertain look in his eyes. He didn’t sound very convinced, so I didn’t know what to think. “Life is passin’ me by, so maybe I should look into somethin’ else before it’s too late.”

  “Too late? As my mother often tells me, you’ve already got one foot and a big toe in the grave,” I scoffed.

  “You don’t have to be so optimistic, Annette,” he snapped. The sarcasm in his voice was so thick I could have cut it with a butcher knife. “The least you can be is a little more sympathetic. Shit, I ain’t dead yet, so it ain’t too late for me to do nothin’.” He shot a piercing look in my direction but I didn’t even feel it.

  I sucked in some air and then finally gave him the sympathetic look he was whining about; but I also delivered some pretty harsh words. “Baby, you are no longer twenty-five. You are not even in the same dimension with youth anymore. No matter what else you try to do, you’re a decade late and a thousand dollars short.”

  “A day late and a dollar short would have been enough. Do you have to bury me that deep?”

  “I’m sorry,” I said, and I really was. I had just made a pretty heavy-handed comment. Sadly, it was the way I really felt….

  “Like I just said, I’m not dead yet, Annette. As long as I’m alive and kickin’, I can still do other things with my life,” he said sharply, and with a fierce scowl.

  One of the reasons I didn’t like for people to confide in me about a serious matter was that no matter what I said, they copped an attitude. I didn’t even want to think about what Pee Wee would say if I agreed with him that life was passing him by and that it was time for him to pursue a change. And the reason I didn’t go in that direction was because no matter what he decided to do, it would have an impact on my life. After all I’d already been through, all I really wanted to do now was spend the rest of my years living a quiet, happy life. I didn’t want to make any more changes. I finally had everything I needed to be happy; so as far as I was concerned, the only thing left for me to do was enjoy myself and keep Pee Wee happy.

  “Maybe you need a hobby,” I suggested. “Or some other kind of social outlet.” I felt like I was grabbing at straws, or a life jacket or something. Whatever it was that I was trying to get a hold on, it was a lifeline because I felt like Pee Wee was sinking fast into some kind of abyss and he was dragging me down with him. “Brother Barnes and some of the other brothers from church get together every week and play Chinese checkers. Deacon Maize has a domino club.”

  Pee Wee looked at me like I’d slapped him. “Brother Barnes and Deacon Maize and all their checker and domino playin’ buddies are in their seventies and eighties!”

  “Well, so what? If it’s not too late for them to put some spark in their lives, it’s not too late for you. I think a hobby would do you a lot of good,” I insisted. It still felt like we were both sinking.

  “I already got all the hobbies I need!” he retorted. “I go fishin’, I spend time playin’ pool and drinkin’ with my boys—what I need another hobby for?”

  Not only was I getting tired of this conversation, I was also getting impatient and bored. “But exactly what do you really want to do?”

  “That’s what I’m tryin’ to figure out, baby,” he replied.

  “All right, let’s look at things from a different perspective.”

  “Such as?”

  “Remember when your boy Victor Ford closed up his sports bar and went on that round-the-world trip when his wife ran off with that musician? He sold his house, his SUV, his furniture, everything. He didn’t even make it halfway around the world before he came running back to Richland. He ended up opening another sports bar, but it was ten steps behind where he was before he sold the first one. You are a barber, that’s what you were born to do. And what about all your loyal customers? If you even think about going out of business, what will become of them? There’s only one other black barber in town now, but you get most of the business.”

  I rose from my seat, went around the table, and stood behind Pee Wee. He covered his face with his hands and released some of the deepest, loudest, most painful-sounding moans I’d ever heard.

  It scared me to death because it sounded like he was dying.
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  CHAPTER 12

  Nothing was more painful to me than to see one of my loved ones in such a hopeless manner like Pee Wee was in now. I hadn’t even seen him look or act this hopeless at any of the many funerals we had attended together.

  I placed my hands on his shoulders and began to massage him, but I stopped almost immediately because that only made him moan even louder. “Why don’t you take a few weeks or a month off, baby?” I said gently. My hands were massaging his shoulders again. “Go down to the Bahamas and kick back on the beach and watch the sunrise. Go to that little bar Rhoda and Otis took us to that time, and drink so much rum that you’ll be able to fly back to Ohio without the plane. Just enjoy yourself until you feel better. I know Muh’Dear can arrange it with the Jacobs for you to stay at their beach house for free. Think of all the fishing and all of the kicking back doing nothing that you can do. Unfortunately, as much fun as that sounds, it’ll only be a temporary solution to your frustration. You’d eventually get bored with that, too. I can assure you that you will be glad to get back to Richland and your boring life as a barber. I’ll call Muh’Dear and tell her to call somebody in the Jacobs family right away and see if their beach house is available. It’s a good thing I made you renew your passport last month.”

  “Will you come with me?” he asked, turning to face me. “It wouldn’t be no fun if I went to a paradise like the Bahamas by myself.”

  I let out a loud breath and returned to my seat. “I wish I could. But things are so busy at work now, I don’t think Mr. Mizelle would let me take off even a few days right now.” I lifted Pee Wee’s hand. It felt like a piece of dead meat. A cold piece of dead meat at that. It made my fingers tingle. I shivered and released his hand with my fingers still tingling. “Pee Wee, there is something you’re not telling me. Now if we want to work as a team to resolve any issues that will affect us both, I need to know everything. I find it hard to believe that the only thing wrong with you right now is that you are just bored being a barber after all these years. If there is something else going on, I want to know and I want to know now. If we can discuss things like…uh…what happened last year, we can discuss anything.”

  “What happened last year? You mean that cancer thing?” he asked.

  “Uh, yeah…” I replied. For some reason the thing that happened last year that danced around in my brain the most was that awful affair I’d slid into. But I was glad to know that that was not the case with him. “Cancer. If we got through that in one piece, we can get through a little bitty thing like you being bored, Pee Wee.”

  He let out a great sigh and cocked his head to the side. I looked at the one side of his head, noticing how much more gray hair he had since the last time I paid attention to his appearance. Normally, I would have mentioned it and offered to trot over to the Grab and Go to get him some of that Grecian Formula hair dye for men, but his gray hair was the least of my worries at the moment.

  He shifted in his seat and released another moan, but this one sounded more like a rumbling growl. I didn’t know if I was gaining or losing ground, because he didn’t seem to be feeling, acting, or looking any better. If anything, he looked even more depressed than he did before we started this unpleasant conversation.

  He shifted some more and cleared his throat, honking into a napkin. “There is more to it than me just bein’ bored. I’m feelin’ the sting of competition. I’ve never had to deal with it on this level before, Annette.” He balled the nasty napkin and flipped it across the room, where it landed in the trash can by the sink.

  I gasped. “What competition? You own the most successful black barbershop in town! That’s always been the case.”

  Pee Wee blinked and gave me a pitiful look. “Annette, you women don’t always know what’s goin’ on with us men. I am not just bored, I’m pissed off, too, see.”

  I gave him a curious look. He was in no hurry to offer me any more information. “Well, are you going to tell me about it, or am I going to sit here and try and pull it out of you?” I snapped. “We’ve been having this conversation long enough, and to tell you the truth, it’s beginning to get on my nerves. And I’m just as bored and pissed off as you—because of this conversation!”

  “You know Henry Boykin?”

  I nodded. “Who doesn’t?” I said with disgust. “He’s one of the younger boys in that rough family who owns that big white house on Pike Street, right? A real asshole?”

  “That’s Henry.”

  I glanced toward the doorway to make sure Charlotte was not lurking about again before I spoke once more, whispering this time. “You used to buy weed from his uncle. The uncle that got killed by some drug dealers up in Cleveland a few years ago.”

  “Well, Henry took up where his uncle left off. But he’s such an asshole, I’d rather buy my weed from the Klan before I put a nickel in his pocket.”

  “You don’t need to be buying weed or any other stimulant from anybody. I’ve told you about that more than once, and I hope it doesn’t keep coming up.”

  Pee Wee snapped his fingers and gave me a dismissive look. “Can we stay on the subject?”

  “Exactly what is the subject now?”

  “I’m tryin’ to talk to you about Henry!” he yelled.

  “Then talk to me about Henry!” I yelled back, stomping my foot.

  “Anyway, that punk Henry Boykin got out of the drug business after he got busted and now he’s runnin’ Soul Cuts barbershop over by the skating rink.”

  “Oh yeah, that’s right. I had almost forgotten about that because nobody ever mentions him to me.”

  “Well, they mention him to me. Every time I run into one of my former customers, they go on and on about how happy they are to be goin’ to Henry! He is takin’ away all of the young business that I used to have,” Pee Wee complained. There was a worried look on his face, but there was also one on my face now, too.

  “Oh? And how is he doing that?” I asked, feeling his pain and frustration. One thing about my relationship with my family was that when one of them was in pain, I felt it, too. And in some instances, it seemed like I felt their pain more than they did.

  “Well, for one thing, he’s young. Twentysomething. The kids can relate to him. And you seen his shop lately?”

  I nodded. “I went by there with Daddy the other day when he got his bald spots oiled.” I shrugged. “So what?”

  Pee Wee’s face froze and he just stared at me with his mouth hanging open like a gourd. Then it dawned on me why he was doing that.

  “Oh! Um…see, Daddy only went there because he couldn’t get an appointment with you!” I said quickly.

  “Your daddy went to my competition? He had to get his bald spots oiled so fast he couldn’t wait on me? And me havin’ a full schedule never stopped him from comin’ to me before. The last time I had him come by after hours.”

  “I didn’t mean to tell you about that,” I admitted, bowing my aching head. “Please don’t tell Daddy I told you.”

  “You don’t have to worry about that. If my own father-in-law don’t want to do business with me, I can’t do nothin’ about it.”

  “You know how mad Muh’Dear gets when she hears about us going to dinner at Antonosanti’s instead of eating at her restaurant,” I reminded. “I guess that’s no different than Daddy going to Henry’s barbershop instead of yours, huh?”

  “I guess not.” Pee Wee waved his hands in the air in frustration. “Don’t tell your daddy I even mentioned him goin’ over to Henry’s place. I don’t want him to know how disappointed I am….”

  “I won’t tell him I told you,” I mumbled. “Anyway, what all is Henry doing to lure your customers away?”

  “For one thing, he tryin’ to be like all of them uppity barbershops on every corner, in every black neighborhood in Cleveland. He got that big-screen TV settin’ up in a corner—right next to a condom machine and a calendar with a woman in a string bikini on it! I tell you, some people ain’t got no shame! You would think he was runnin’ a
tittie bar instead of a barbershop. He doles out free peanuts, provides free bottled water and free sodas, and he has the nerve to run raffles for free haircuts every now and then. I got a good mind to have the law check him out and make sure he ain’t breakin’ no laws.”

  “So you think that all of that’s the reason he’s able to woo away some of your customers?”

  “It must be! What else could it be? Shit. Your own daddy done jumped ship, and I had been cuttin’ his hair for over ten years! But the other day when Otis didn’t keep his appointment to get his dreads trimmed, that was the last straw.”

  Otis O’Toole was Rhoda’s Jamaican husband, and one of my husband’s best friends. We had all attended high school together. It was bad enough that my daddy was giving his business to my husband’s competition, but I was more than a little disappointed to hear that Otis was doing it, too. I couldn’t wait to talk to Rhoda about it, and I was surprised that she had not already mentioned it. She told me everything else.

  “Henry spent a lot of money to make his shop so attractive to folks,” Pee Wee lamented. “I wish I had proof that he got his money to take over that shop with drug money. I wish I could prove he’s dealin’ again. He’d be cuttin’ some warden’s hair for free for the state of Ohio.”

  CHAPTER 13

  My husband was a smart man, but there were times when he said something so stupid I couldn’t believe my ears. This was one of those times.

  “Do you know how ridiculous you sound? Would running Henry out of business and sending him back to prison make you feel better?” I asked. Pee Wee just gave me a blank look. “You’re still doing well. Lack of business is not the problem. Well, it’s not the main problem. You still have enough customers to stay in business. And look on the bright side, you can retire in a few years. Between the two of us, we’ll be very comfortable in our golden years.”