God Ain't Through Yet

by Mary Monroe

  Nobody heard me when I opened the door and entered, even though Pee Wee, his two male employees, Lizzie, and a customer were present. They all had their backs to me. Lizzie was scraping the dead skin off of Ronnie Dawson’s big ashy feet. Everybody else was standing in front of Lizzie, watching her work.

  I looked around and was pleased at what I saw. I knew that Pee Wee had installed a big-screen TV, but I was surprised to see two computers on a table by the wall with a sign indicating Internet service was free to paying customers. There were little bowls of peanuts and pretzels here and there, and the most current editions of the leading magazines were on display on the same table with the computers. The walls had been painted a bright yellow. This was the first time the place had been painted in ten years!

  I smiled, but I remained silent. Lizzie was the only one talking, and from what I could determine, she was in the middle of regaling her audience with something that must have been quite amusing. They were guffawing like hyenas. And Pee Wee was the one who was laughing the loudest and the hardest. I decided to join in on the fun. I held my breath and listened as Lizzie continued.

  “…and my mama and my stepdaddy walked into my bedroom while I was getting it on with my new vibrator. ‘Girl, what’s that between your legs?’ my stepdaddy asked. ‘This is as close as I am going to get to a husband, so you all better get used to it,’ I told him. A few days later, I come home from work and there was my stepdaddy sitting in the living room watching TV, and I could see and hear my vibrator buzzing up a storm on the couch pillow next to him! ‘What in the world are you doing?’ I asked my stepdaddy. He told me, ‘I’m watching the game with my son-in-law.’”

  The laughter that followed was thunderous. I had to laugh myself. It went on for a full minute before Pee Wee finally turned around and saw me standing in front of the door. He looked at me like I was a relative that he didn’t like. That look hurt like hell. It hurt so bad that I could barely contain myself. My heart began to sink so fast that it felt like it was racing with the rest of my body parts to see which one could hit the floor first. He didn’t waste any time trying to clean up his mess. The annoyed look disappeared from Pee Wee’s face within seconds. But it was too late.

  “Baby! When—how long—what you doin’ up in here?” he hollered, almost jumping out of his skin. He whirled around to look at Lizzie, and it was only then that I really paid attention to her appearance. She was dazzling. Like me, she had a few wrinkles on her face, but I couldn’t see hers now. That’s how flawless her makeup was. She had replaced her thick Coke bottle glasses with a pair of blue contact lenses. She wore a floor-length, light blue, sleeveless dress. It looked more like something you’d wear to the beach, not something you’d wear to work in the middle of March! All of that drab gray hair and that flat ponytail that had made me feel so sorry for her were gone. Her hair had been dyed jet black and cut into a cute, tapered style with spit curls on both of her cheeks and across her forehead. I thought I was looking at a real live version of Betty Boop.

  “I thought we were having lunch today,” I said in a small voice. Pee Wee was obviously uneasy. I couldn’t understand why, but everybody else in the room seemed to be uneasy, too. Even old big-footed Ronnie Dawson.

  “Uh, Lizzie, how much longer before you buff my toenails? If I don’t get back home soon, my wife will be comin’ up in here next,” Ronnie mouthed. Then he laughed at his own joke. He was the only one laughing this time.

  “Just a few more minutes,” Lizzie told Ronnie. Then she turned to me and gave me a look I didn’t like, or will ever forget. She was looking at me like she resented my presence! I couldn’t understand why, because I had every right to be in my husband’s workplace.

  “Hello, Annette,” she said dryly. Even though she said it with a smile, I could still see that my presence annoyed her. “That’s a nice pink blouse you got on. Is it new?”

  “It is,” I muttered. “That story you just told about the vibrator, it was funny.” And it was. It was so funny, I laughed again. But this time nobody else did.

  You would have thought that everybody else had suddenly become mute. That’s how quiet they were. They all just stared at me.

  “So, where are we having lunch, honey?” I asked Pee Wee.

  He looked at me with his lips quivering; then he blinked like he was trying to blink something out of his eye. “Lunch? You want to do that today?” He stopped blinking and then started rubbing his eye, mumbling. Then he started to fidget with some hair-cutting instruments in his hands, placing them on the same table between his main chair and Lizzie’s work table. It was obvious to me that he was trying to stall for time and divert my attention. He was too late. All I could think about was what I had walked in on and what I was seeing now: a cozy little setup that my intrusion had interrupted.

  “Pee Wee, what about them pizzas that me and Lizzie ordered to be delivered?” Bobby, the younger of the two young men who worked for him, asked, looking from Pee Wee to Lizzie and then to me. “We didn’t know you was comin’, Annette. But we ordered large pizzas, so if you want to stay, you welcome.”

  “Uh, I just had pizza for lunch yesterday,” I lied, cracking a smile that was so harsh it almost cracked the sides of my face. I looked at my watch. “I can’t stay long anyway.” I looked directly at Pee Wee and he looked like he wanted to crawl into the hole he’d dug for himself. “Can I see you outside for a minute?” I didn’t wait for him to respond. I exited immediately and I was pleased to see that he was right behind me.

  “Um, what’s up, baby?” he asked, fidgeting.

  “I see that Lizzie has come out of her shell,” I commented with my arms folded, standing in front of the shop like a guard.

  “She sure has!” he said quickly, nervously sliding his hands in and out of his pants pockets. “That makeover helped.”

  “And that story about the vibrator—whew!” We both laughed.

  “Yeah, that was a mess! Ha ha ha. Yes…Yes, it was a funny story! I…I wonder if it’s true,” Pee Wee stammered. Now he was scratching his head and looking around.

  “Is something wrong, Pee Wee? You seem nervous and agitated. Did I walk in on something I wasn’t supposed to see or hear?” I glanced sharply over my shoulder toward the shop, then back at Pee Wee. “I know Ronnie is one of your boys, but is he up to something with Lizzie?” I shook my head. “Never mind. I should know better. I mean, when men in their forties, like you and Ronnie, cheat on their wives, it’s usually with a much younger woman, right?”

  “That’s right!” Pee Wee quickly agreed.

  “Then I guess Ronnie is not fooling around with Lizzie, huh?” I said, wondering why I was going in this direction. But I couldn’t ignore what I’d just seen and felt. Something that involved Lizzie was going on.

  “Not that I know of,” Pee Wee mumbled, shrugging and swallowing so hard his Adam’s apple looked like it was going to pop out of his neck. “He just come by to get them nasty-ass feet of his done, that’s all. You wouldn’t believe how long he’d let his toenails grow! I thought I was lookin’ at a set of bear claws before Lizzie started doin’ her thing. Him and Lizzie, they hit it off right away. She’s really come out of her shell.”

  “Yes, she has. I said that already.” I sniffed. “Listen, I’d better get back to the office.”

  “What about that lunch? Where do you wanna go?” Pee Wee looked like he was about as interested in having lunch with me as I was having lunch with the strange man who had just walked past us.

  I gasped. “What about the pizzas you guys ordered?”

  “Well, me and you can still go off somewhere else. Especially since you was countin’ on it.” The more he talked, the less interested he looked in us having lunch.

  “Pfft! Don’t worry about that,” I said, dismissing the thought with a dramatic wave of my hand. He immediately looked relieved. “I should have called to let you know that I was going to be able to make it today.” I exhaled; then I brushed off the sleeve on his smock.
“I’m glad to see that Lizzie is taking such good care of you,” I said in a sugar-coated voice. I didn’t know if it was what I said or the way I’d said it, but his reaction stunned me.

  His eyes bulged from the sockets like they were trying to escape.

  CHAPTER 33

  As soon as Pee Wee’s eyes returned back to the way they normally looked, he asked in a small voice, “What do you mean by that?”

  “You had been walking around with a long face for a while before she started working for you. Now you’re not. And the place looks so nice inside now!” I motioned toward the building with my head. “And I know a woman’s touch when I see it.”

  “Yeah, Lizzie was the one who convinced me to get them walls painted. Yellow is her favorite color.”

  “I see. Hmmm. You know, she’s such a godsend that the least we can do is have her over for dinner one Sunday. Maybe now that she’s come so far out of her shell, you can introduce her to one of your boys—if you haven’t done that already. You must have at least one middle-aged friend who would appreciate a middle-aged lady friend.” I chuckled, he gasped.

  “Uh, she ain’t all the way out of her shell just yet. But she’s, uh, gettin’ there!” He was stumbling over his words like a man who had just learned to speak our language. “Um, I…a couple of my boys done already dropped a few hints about takin’ her over to the Red Rose for a few drinks.”

  “That’s nice.” I leaned forward and kissed Pee Wee on the lips. He was surprised at first, but when he responded he overdid it. His lips covered mine and started sucking with so much vigor—like a toilet plunger—that I thought he was trying to swallow me whole. That was an unpleasant thought, but this was an unpleasant kiss.

  “Baby, I’m so glad to see you,” he said. “You look so nice today!”

  “Now, if you are going to behave like Romeo, we’d better get a room,” I teased, pulling away. “You’ve never sucked on my face like that,” I quipped. “Is everything all right?”

  “Like I said, I’m just glad to see you, baby,” he insisted. He slid a finger along the side of my face. “We’ll finish this when I get home this evenin’,” he said with a wink.

  I refused to listen to a little voice in my head that was telling me something was wrong. It was the same voice that had tried to get my attention when Jade was harassing me. My mama had told me that there’d be days like this, and she’d also offered me another one of her off-the-wall comments: “De-nial ain’t just a river in Africa; sometimes it’s a woman’s biggest excuse….” Was I denying to myself that I was in denial?

  After I got back to my car, I sat in it for a few minutes, looking toward the barbershop. Lizzie was peeping from the front window like a nosy neighbor.

  I didn’t even wait to get back to my office to call Rhoda. I was so stupefied I couldn’t. I stopped at the first payphone I saw, which was directly across the street from Pee Wee’s barbershop. My eyes were still on his front window as I dialed Rhoda’s number. What I saw next made the hair on the back of my neck rise. Lizzie put her arm around Pee Wee’s shoulder and they walked toward the back of the shop. My mind was boiling like water for chocolate. “Rhoda, can you meet me at the little salad bar down the street from your house for a late lunch?” I asked as soon as she answered.

  “Now?”

  “Now,” I insisted.

  Rhoda was one of the most flawed people I knew, but she was also the only person I knew whom I could always count on when I had a potential crisis on my hands. In this case, I wasn’t sure what I was facing: a crisis or an innocent misunderstanding. She was at the salad bar munching on some lettuce, when I got there. The lunch crowd had already left, so other than an elderly man in a booth by the counter, she and I were the only other customers. This was one of our favorite neighborhood lunch spots, and since we almost always ordered the same thing, she had ordered a plain green salad and a large glass of iced tea for me and for herself.

  “What’s up? You sounded stressed,” she chirped, giving me a curious look as I eased down into the seat across from her.

  “Have you seen Lizzie lately? She looks real nice,” I said, watching Rhoda’s face carefully. I could tell from the wan look she gave me that she had seen Lizzie.

  She nodded. “I saw her day before yesterday at the Grab and Go. She looked nice and chic. We can’t refer to her as a sow’s ear anymore, can we?”

  “I guess not. She is stunning now.” I cleared my throat and shifted my butt around in my seat. I wasn’t sure how to say what I wanted to say next, so I just let the words roll out of my mouth like they had a life of their own. “Does a vibrator count?” I asked, spearing some lettuce with the plastic fork that had come with my salad.

  Rhoda gave me a stunned look before she choked on some lettuce. She had to drink some tea and cough a few times to clear her throat. Her big eyes were full of water and threatening to turn red. “Excuse me?”

  “Is it considered sex when a woman uses a vibrator? Would that constitute her having a sex life?”

  “Gee, I don’t know,” she told me, her head cocked to the side. I could imagine the wheels turning and the question marks dancing around in her head.

  “If you ask me, when a woman pleasures herself with a vibrator, she’s not a virgin,” I stated.

  “Hmmm. You’ve got a point there. I mean, nobody ever said a woman had to get laid in the traditional sense to be considered, uh, laid.” Rhoda paused and furrowed both brows. She shook her head and spread her arms, hands up, both palms facing me. “Where is this conversation comin’ from? And where is it goin’?” There was now an amused look on her face and I could understand why. What I’d just said sounded not only strange, but funny.

  “If a woman doesn’t date, but she uses a vibrator, does that still count?” I asked again, cringing this time.

  “Count as what?”

  “Does it mean that she’s no longer a virgin; that she’s got a sex life. That’s all I want to know.”

  “Hell, I don’t know. I sit around thinkin’ about a lot of things from time to time, but that’s not one of them. Why do you ask?” I could tell by the way Rhoda’s lips were quivering, that she was trying not to laugh. But I was dead serious.

  She stared at me with her mouth hanging open as I told her about the “party” that I’d walked in on at Pee Wee’s barbershop. As soon as I stopped talking, she did laugh. “Let me tell you something, girl, Lizzie is not as innocent as you think. Trust me. I’ve been hearin’ things.”

  My denial had already bitten me on the ass and I was still doing more “looking the other way” than all of the long-suffering Kennedy wives put together. “Rhoda, I don’t want to hear a lot of gossip,” I said quickly. “I still want to give Lizzie the benefit of the doubt. If she says she doesn’t fool around with men, that’s her business. And why should we care?”

  “Honey, you brought it up!” Rhoda reminded me with a snicker.

  “When I interviewed Lizzie, she gave me the impression that she has not had much experience in the romance department,” I said dryly. “And even though she talked about finding a soul mate, I don’t think she’s that interested in men.”

  “That is so hard to believe,” Rhoda snapped, putting so much emphasis on her words it scared me. “Even Mott, Scary Mary’s severely retarded daughter, has been with a man. And I do mean fucked inside out. It happened at the same asylum where Mott is, and the dude is just as retarded as Mott is, so they didn’t really know what they were doin’. They were just imitatin’ some of the things that Mott had seen goin’ on during Scary Mary’s business hours. And Mott’s not half as attractive as Lizzie. How do you know for sure that Lizzie’s never been with a man? That’s so hard to believe. After all, the woman is pushing fifty, not fifteen.”

  I shrugged. “I don’t know for sure if Lizzie’s never been with a man. And like I just said, her sex life is her business. But since we’re on the subject, maybe she’ll meet some new friends now and have more of a social life. Poor thing.�
�� I sighed.

  “Now that she’s gussied herself up, she’s goin’ to be gettin’ a lot of attention. She can only fight the men off for so long.” The mysterious look on Rhoda’s face told me there was something behind her last statement.

  “Is there something going on that I should know about?” I didn’t like the way that Rhoda was staring off into space, not even blinking.

  She looked me straight in the eye and gave me a pitiful look. “So what do you want me to tell you?”

  “I can tell you what I don’t want you to tell me, and that’s some gossip. I am glad that Lizzie is coming out of her shell. If people are going to start gossiping about her just because she’s looking good now, I can imagine some of the shit they said about me when I got myself made over.”

  “Well, what they were sayin’ about you was true.”

  “What the hell are you talking about? Did somebody say something about me and Louis?”

  “Not exactly. I mean, they didn’t know about Louis, but there was some talk about you sneakin’ around a lot.”

  My jaw dropped and my eyes got wide. “How come you didn’t tell me people were talking about me behind my back?” I whined.

  “You know how the people in this town are. They have always talked about you behind your back. And me and every other soul, too, for that matter. Get real. But as far as I know, none of the gossips knew about you and Louis.”

  “Scary Mary knew,” I revealed.

  “Phtt! That old battle-ax knows everything. I am sure she knows about me and Bully, too; but she knows when to keep her mouth shut.”

  I sighed and clucked. Rhoda sighed and clucked even louder. We sounded like a couple of old hens. “Are you goin’ to keep your eye on Lizzie, or ask her what she’s up to?”

  I gasped and gave Rhoda a stunned look. I couldn’t remember the last time she’d asked me such a ridiculous question. “Of course I’m not going to ask her that. Why would I?”

  “You don’t drag me to lunch at the spur of the moment unless you have a real concern.”