Just Dessert

by Heather Gray

  "Ninety, huh?"

  "If that's what it takes to protect my family, yes." Her voice brooked no argument.

  Repeating himself, Grady said, "All right then."

  "How old are you now, Grady? You must be, what, twenty? Twenty-one?"

  "Twenty-one," he answered.

  "Hm," was all she said.

  Not sure what that response meant, he observed the sky for a moment before bringing his gaze back to Mary's. "I guess I'd best be headin' out then. If you or the young'uns need anything, you know where to find me. I'll be at my grandparents for the summer."

  Mary nodded to him and said, "Thank you for the ride," before walking up the steps to the front door. She went into the house without a backward glance, leaving Grady no choice but to get his wagon maneuvered around and back down the overgrown drive.

  As he drove away, he couldn't shake the image of that family and the fear he'd seen on their faces. He mentally recapped his first impressions of each of the children. The boys had both been angry, Clive more so than Bobby. Lizzie had seemed shy and far too old for her years. Gigi had shown the most promise of discovering laughter.

  Mary, on the other hand, looked nothing like he remembered from his childhood summers in Larkspur. She was tall with the kind of thin frame that came from malnutrition rather than good health. Her brown hair had been tightly pulled back and pinned in place at the back of her head, the style of a much older woman. The blue eyes that he remembered as dancing with humor were now dark and filled with shadows. They made him think of a sickroom where the curtains are perpetually drawn closed, gloom permeating every corner as the inhabitants wait for death to come.

  Chapter Two

  In the kitchen scrubbing the breakfast dishes the next day, Mary was startled when Lizzie came racing in the front door. Red braids flying, the young girl came to a sudden stop before barreling into Mary. The look on Lizzie's face was decidedly torn. Her lips were pressed together, her hands tugged at the sleeves of her too-small dress, and her eyes swam with confusion. "What is it, Lizzie?" she asked.

  "He's here." The answer was so faint, Mary barely caught it at all. Her first reaction was terror. Their father was home, and she didn't know where all the kids were. He wasn't supposed to be out of jail yet. One of the deputies had stopped by last night and told them it would be at least Tuesday before they released him, maybe even Wednesday. The deputy had promised to come back and tell her when the sheriff was getting ready to cut Pa loose.

  Lizzie must have seen the fear on Mary's face, for she shook her head to indicate "no". Again, the soft voice came out, "Grady came."

  Of their own volition, Mary's hands went to her hair to smooth the stray tendrils, a nervous reaction to the fluttering in her midsection. As soon as she realized what she was doing, she forced her hands back down to her sides. No need to straighten up for a man like Grady. He'd never want anything to do with her. She did, however, need to see where he was and what he was doing on their property. Holding out her hand to Lizzie, she said, "Take me to him. We'll get this straightened out."

  Lizzie headed down the drive as if going into town for school. Mary had intentionally kept all the kids home today. With Pa in jail, they could get a lot of work done around the farm. The boys were out plowing a field. Meanwhile, the girls had been tending to the animals and Mary had been cleaning up from breakfast. Then she and the girls were going to go help the boys. Pa didn't bother with planting anything anymore, so Mary and the kids took care of it. It was either that or go without anything to eat come winter. Often angry to begin with, Pa's temper would boil over if he saw them working in the field, so they always tried to do it while he was away. Mary couldn't let these days of him in jail pass without action. They could get a lot accomplished, and if they were able to do it undetected, all the better.

  As they got about two-thirds of the way down the drive toward the main road, Mary began to hear voices. The words were indecipherable, but she could hear the smooth low rumble of Grady's voice offset by Gigi's high pitched and fast paced chatter. Mary almost tripped, so surprised was she to hear the excitement in Gigi's voice. She didn't want to crush the girl's enthusiasm, but she couldn't have Grady poking around on their farm. Too much was at stake.

  Lizzie and Mary got close enough to make out the words moments before they stepped into view of the two. Grady was saying, "Like this," and showing Gigi how to dig up a weed in the drive. Mary paused for a moment to take in the sight. Grady's face was in shadow, but his broad-shouldered thick-set build gave the appearance of someone used to working hard. His shaggy blond hair sticking out in all directions under his range hat and his gentle voice, by contrast, made him seem approachable. He was the same thoughtful person she recalled from bygone summers…and yet her reaction to him all grown up was new and different.

  Gigi saw her sisters first. She jumped up and ran over to Mary, hugging her legs, "Look Mary, look! Grady gave me my very own spade to help him! An' I got gloves, too!"

  Mary had been fully prepared to tell Grady he could not be here, to leave their land. When she beheld the gaze of her baby sister, the words to send him away began to choke her. She could not force them out. Gigi's eyes were alight. They glowed at Mary, happy, proud and… completely unafraid. Mary could not recall the last time she'd seen Gigi's face without fear or worry traced over it.

  Instead of spitting out the words that would end her sister's joy, Mary swallowed them down, felt them churning in her stomach, and thought she might be sick. Better she be made ill by this situation, though, than her baby sister be made to suffer. She would find a way to deal with the danger and with Pa's wrath later.

  Reaching down, Mary picked Gigi up and encircled her in a hug. Gigi's excitement washed over Mary in waves, slowly rinsing away the bitter fear churning in her gut.

  ****

  Lizzie gave Grady a stormy glare, no doubt blaming him for the pain she saw on Mary's face. Mary's expression knocked the breath out of Grady. He could neither take in air nor expel the breath turning sour in his lungs. With no idea what he'd stepped into here or what wrong he'd committed, he had no defense against the look on Lizzie's face. Grady didn't pretend to understand the situation entirely, but he hoped to put together enough pieces of the puzzle that he could begin to genuinely help the family without creating more trouble for them.

  Seeming to get her emotions under control, Mary set Gigi back down. "What did you say you have there?" she asked the young girl, her voice strained.

  "Look Mary! Grady gave me a spade and gloves to use so I can help him! I'm helping him clean up the drive so we can be more safer going to school. Only big girls get to help. That means I'm a big girl!"

  Gigi's delight was contagious. "Lizzie, Lizzie, come help me. I'll share my spade and gloves with you. We can take turns."

  Lizzie's eyes went to Mary. Grady could see no discernible expression on the younger girl's face. Mary must have seen something, though, because her face softened, and she said lightly, "Just for today." Lizzie's placid acceptance tore at Grady.

  Just for today what? He wondered. You may help Grady? You may play with your sister? You may pretend to be a normal family?

  Grady was saddened to realize that, if this little interlude taming the drive was just for today, tomorrow they would all go back to being the scared and tight-lipped family they'd been. This was a solitary day; a single moment in time where Lizzie could play in the dirt with Gigi and pretend life wasn't so bad.

  Gigi grabbed Lizzie by the hand and began dragging her over to a pile of dirt, waving her spade expressively as she went. "Wait," came Grady's firm voice. The girls stopped. Gigi's expression said she had not a care in the world. Lizzie's told a different story. Grady saw the stark lines and the tightly drawn shape of her mouth, not to mention the stiff way she held her body. This was a girl who expected something precious to be taken away. Before he could react, Lizzie's pained expression vanished and an inscrutable one took its place. Reaching into a satchel he had si
tting nearby, he pulled out another pair of child-sized gloves and a spade. "Here, Lizzie. These are for you. That way you don't have to take turns."

  Her detachment locked firmly in place, Lizzie took the implements from Grady. No joy, no excitement, no gratitude shown in her brown eyes. She offered up a quiet, "Thank you, sir," before breaking eye contact and moving on with Gigi to the pile of dirt.

  Grady took a couple steps away from the girls toward where Mary stood, indecision on her face. Before he reached her, she spoke, "I should get the boys. They could be helping."

  "Nonsense," said Grady. His voice sounded gruff, even to his own ears. "Let them do their work. Gigi told me they're plowing. It needs doing, and they're the best ones for the job. I was merely being neighborly, came along to clear your drive a bit and make it more passable for y'all."

  Grady's smooth southern drawl wrapped itself around Mary, pulling her toward relaxation, but she fought against the unfamiliar sensation. "I can't expect you to watch after two girls and do the work. That's not fair to you."

  "Don't worry about me and the girls. I'll put them to work with their spades shoveling dirt into the ruts while I work on cutting back the brush and unearthing anything that's decided to grow in the middle of the drive. We'll be fine."

  "What if they get bored?"

  "If they get bored, then I'll bring them up to the house for you. Give me a chance. I've been told I'm pretty good with young'uns. The girls won't be any trouble. Trust me."

  ****

  Mary couldn't shake the feeling Grady was asking her to trust him about much more than whether or not he could keep an eye on the girls. Unable to consider any meaning beyond the immediate, though, she asked, "What about snakes?"

  "Do you get many snakes around here?" One of his eyebrows lifted with the question.

  "I haven't seen any yet, but this is the time of year when they usually start to show themselves."

  "Thank you for the warning. I'll be sure to scout out any new areas before I set the girls to work, how's that?"

  "What if they, ah…" Mary's voice trailed off as her eyes shot rapidly skyward. Not looking at Grady, she asked, "What if they need use of the necessary?"

  Her gaze skittered across Grady's tanned face before returning to the sky. She saw enough to know he'd blushed at her question. Though she couldn't entirely say why, it pleased her to have made him at least a little bit uncomfortable. He was making her decidedly uneasy, so she figured it was the least he deserved.

  "Uh…" Grady had no ready answer, which pleased Mary even more. "Ah," Grady sighed and then cleared his throat. "Um, is Lizzie old enough to see to that, or should I bring them up to the house if the need arises?"

  Mary finally brought her gaze back down from the sky and considered Grady. With the barest hint of a smile she said, "Lizzie should be able to see to it. You'd have to scout the area, though, to make sure there aren't any snakes." Grady nodded, his relief evident. It seemed he'd rather wrestle snakes than help a young girl answer nature's call. Putting more force into her voice than necessary, she added, "I can't pay you for doin' this."

  "Didn't ask you to," was his amiable response. Brushing her hands across her skirt, Mary prepared to turn and leave when Grady's voice stopped her. "Well…" he drew out, "there is something you could do for me if'n you've a mind to." Mary stared at him, her gaze hardening in anticipation of his next words. "That strawberry pie looked mighty fine. Think I could get a piece?"

  Mary stared at Grady in puzzlement. Pie? The man wanted pie? "It's all gone. We ate it for supper last night." At his genuinely crestfallen look, Mary added, "If you get me more strawberries, though, I can make another one."

  Having meant it as a peace offering of sorts, Mary was in no way prepared for Grady's reaction. "You can bet on it, Mary Fitzgerald! I'll supply the fruit, you make the pie." Even if she hadn't seen it on his face, she would have heard the smile in his voice. His words vibrated with happiness. Still not sure how she ought to be reacting to him, Mary was relieved when he moved toward the girls, instructing them on what to do.

  She stood there for a moment, watching the three of them. Gigi was attentive and adoring. Lizzie's face was blank, but Mary thought she saw a glimpse of excitement behind the girl's mask. Grady's countenance as he went to work with the girls was open, friendly, and non-threatening. Mary had the feeling Grady was intentionally treating her sisters like little girls. It was a privilege the girls didn't often get, and she was oddly touched to see it happening now.

  ****

  Once she got back to the house, Mary tackled the laundry. The girls usually helped, but Mary enjoyed the times she got to do the chore alone. It gave her a chance to think and plan. She would have wondered what Grady was doing there, but that's the kind of person he'd always been. For as long as she'd known him, he'd been thoughtful, stepping in to help others long before he was ever asked.

  Lizzie had mentioned the cow in front of Grady yesterday, and Mary hoped he hadn't noticed the slip. As far as Pa was concerned, they didn't have any livestock left except for an old goat and a half-dead mule, and they wanted to keep it that way. Lying to Pa was wrong, she knew, but if he knew they still had a cow, he'd sell it for drinking money. She had to watch out for her brothers and sisters; she had to take care of them, no matter the cost to herself.

  Mary had given up on believing in God a long time ago. She figured, however, on the outside chance there actually was a God, He wouldn't mind her lying to Pa about the cow. At least she was doing something to take care of her family. That's a lot more than she could say for Him.

  The morning moved swiftly, and Mary continued to think on their situation. With the church picnic a bust, Mary was going to have to find another way to get a husband. Now that Pa was onto her scheme, she'd never be able to find one locally. Should she search advertisements to find a husband in another town or state? What if he lied on paper and seemed sweet and nice, then she arrived with the kids and he ended up being worse than Pa? She wasn't sure that was a gamble she could take.

  With the sun high in the sky, Mary began to hang up the clothes she'd washed and wrung out. There was no easy solution hidden within the folds of cotton and denim. She would continue scraping together every cent she could until an opportunity came up for her to take the kids and run.

  Saving up enough to cover stage fair for all five of them was no easy task. She wasn't even a fraction of the way there yet, but she would keep at it until something better came along. Not willing to contemplate where they'd run to or how they'd survive once they got there, Mary shoved those ideas aside as she hung up the last of the clothes. Brushing her hands against her skirt in an unconscious gesture of futility, Mary turned and headed back into the house to check on the pot of beans she'd left simmering.

  ****

  "Now girls, let's bring this to Mary and let her decide." Grady's firm words drew Mary's eyes from the kitchen table where she was setting out bowls for everyone. When she'd put the beans on the stove that morning, she hadn't planned on another mouth to feed. There wouldn't be enough.

  Forcing a smile, Mary asked, "What do I get to decide?"

  Lizzie and Gigi both started yelling at once. Clearly the girls were in a snit about something. Mary's brothers and sisters rarely fought with each other. They were always busy trying to protect each other, trying to survive. Fighting was a luxury none of them had. Mary was shocked into silence by their behavior.

  "That is enough!" Grady's voice boomed through the house, making it feel much smaller than it was. "Lizzie, sit," he said, pointing to a chair at the kitchen table. "Gigi, sit," he said while pointing to a chair on the opposite end of the table. Grady spun to Mary, ready to explain the girls' argument, and froze.

  ****

  Mary stood there, white as death, arms flung up as if to protect her head from a blow. Her eyes were tightly closed, her breath came in short stuttered gasps, and terror oozed from every pore.

  Grady quickly spun away and walked to the ta
ble with the girls. He didn't know how to handle Mary's response, but he was certain she'd be embarrassed if she opened her eyes to see him staring at her. Halfway between the two girls, with his back to Mary, he sat down at the table. Then, turning to Gigi, he kindly asked, "Gigi, can you tell me why you want to keep the spades and gloves here?"

  Gigi's sapphire eyes were wide as she took in first Mary and then him. Her free chatter from the morning was gone. She finally settled her gaze on Grady, her expression accusing, "You yelled at us."

  With a sigh, Grady ran his hand across his face. "You're right, Gigi, I yelled. I didn't know how else to get the two of you to stop hollering so we could resolve your disagreement. Is there a better way I could have handled it?"

  "Only mean people yell." Gigi's mouth was pinched tight, her voice laced with recrimination.

  "Ah kiddo," he answered with gentleness, trying to smile some lightness into the situation, "I beg to differ. Sometimes parents yell at their children, sometimes teachers yell at students. Even you and Lizzie were yelling at each other, but you're not mean people, are you?"

  Before Gigi could think of what to say, Lizzie's whisper-quiet voice came from the other end of the table, "I'm sorry I yelled at you, Gigi."

  Gigi's attention moved from Grady to her sister, "It's okay Lizzie. I'm sorry too. How come you don't want me to keep my spade and gloves?"

  Lizzie answered, still softly, "They'll be safe with Grady. If we keep them here, Pa might find them." As soon as the words were out, Lizzie's attention shifted to Mary's face. Grady peeked behind him to see Mary standing there. Her eyes were open, and her arms hung stiffly at her sides. She was pale and appeared ready to swoon. While contemplating his options, Grady saw her silently mouth the words It's okay to Lizzie.