The Twelve Dates of Christmas

by Catherine Hapka

  “I know.” Her expression softened. “But see, that’s exactly why you need to be willing to try whatever it takes to get him back. And we all know that guys think mostly with their hormones.” Ignoring Nick’s snort, she went on, “So our best bet is to let him see you in some supersexy outfit that will remind him of just how attracted he is to you.”

  “What, do you want me to wear some lacy little number from Victoria’s Secret to school on Monday? Then again, why be subtle? Maybe I should just show up on his doorstep stark naked.”

  “You’re right, showing up at his house is probably too obvious.” She chose to ignore the rest of my suggestion, which was just as well. In her current state, she might actually think I was serious. “No, you might have to work it right in front of Jaylene on this one. In fact, maybe that’s better anyway. Let him see exactly what he’s given up to be with her.” She nodded, looking pleased with herself. “Okay, so that means we have to find out when and where their next date is.”

  Nick grabbed another fry. “I already know,” he said. “Cam was talking about it at the lake today. They’re going bowling tomorrow night.”

  “Hmm, bowling. That doesn’t sound very sexy.” Allie tapped one finger on her chin. I could almost see the little gears in her brain turning. “But never mind—I’m sure we can still come up with an outfit that will turn his head. Is Cam more of a leg man or a boob man?” When I shrugged, she turned to my cousin. “Nick?”

  He looked a bit startled. “How should I know?”

  “Isn’t that what you guys talk about? You know, in the locker room and stuff?”

  He rolled his eyes. “If we do, I’m not about to start discussing it with the two of you.” Setting down his half-finished burger, he wiped his hands on a napkin and stood up. “In fact, all this talk of boob men and sexy outfits for my cousin makes me think it’s a good time for a nice long game of pinball. See you.”

  He scooted off toward the line of arcade games along the side wall. “See that, Allie?” I reached across the table, peeled the pickle off Nick’s burger, and popped it into my mouth. “You made him lose his appetite. That’s not easy. Congratulations.”

  “Now that he’s gone, let’s get down to business.” Allie shoved her plate away and leaned forward. “What are you going to wear to the bowling alley tomorrow night? How about your purple cami? I’m working on a theory about how guys really notice the color purple.”

  “Um, I don’t think so. In case it’s slipped your mind, it’s December. If I show up in something like that, Cam won’t think I’m sexy; he’ll think I’ve gone insane.” I wiped my pickley fingers on my napkin. “No, I’m thinking maybe I’ll wear my green V-neck sweater. Nick always compliments me on that one. Says it brings out the gold in my eyes.”

  She looked disappointed. “Okay, I guess that’ll have to do. So let’s talk strategy. Maybe you can, like, lure him off by himself somewhere and then pretend you have a cramp in your leg, and ask him to rub it for you.”

  “Are you kidding?” I laughed. “I’m not going to do that.”

  “But the Dozen Dates Theory . . . ,” she began urgently.

  I shook my head. “I know, I know. There isn’t much time. I get that. But even so, I think I just need to keep things simple. Cam isn’t the type of guy to fall for anything too obvious. And plotting and scheming is what got me into this mess to begin with.”

  “That’s true,” Allie agreed, reaching for her iced tea. “Okay. But you’re not just going to, like, stand there, right? Let’s talk about the little things you can do to catch his attention.”

  “Like what?”

  “Don’t look so suspicious,” she said. “I just mean stuff like smiling at him. Touching him on the arm whenever you get the chance. That sort of thing.”

  I felt as if I should be taking notes. It hadn’t required nearly this much effort to win Cam over in the first place, and I felt kind of foolish having to work so hard at getting him back now. Still, I figured I had to do whatever it took to undo what I’d done.

  Walking into the bowling alley all by myself felt weird. For one thing, I’m not much of a bowler. I’d probably only ever been there four or five times total in my life. Plus it’s really the kind of place people normally go as part of a big group. To top it off, Allie had twisted my arm until I’d agreed to put on a little extra makeup before I went. I guess that was to make up for the fact that I’d continued to insist on wearing jeans and a sweater rather than the leather bustier and hot pants she probably thought would be much more ideal.

  As soon as I got inside, I heard an earsplitting screech of laughter. Glancing that way, I saw Jaylene dancing around giddily in her adorable lemon yellow minidress, giggling loudly as the gutterball she’d just thrown ambled its way down the lane. Cam was watching her from the scorekeeper’s seat, with his long legs splayed out to one side and his arm draped casually over the seat back. But he spotted me a second later and sat up straight.

  “Lexi?” he called out, sounding surprised. No wonder. As I mentioned, I’m not exactly the bowling queen of Claus Lake.

  Jaylene looked over too. “It is Lexi!” she cried, waving at me. “C’mon over here, Lexi!”

  I obeyed, ducking around the molded orange plastic chairs to enter their seating area. “What a surprise,” I said. “So you guys are doing a little bowling tonight, huh?”

  “Yeah.” Cam stood up, looking kind of awkward. “Um, what are you doing here?”

  I had my cover story ready, of course. “Oh, I was supposed to meet Nick here on my way home from shopping. He was in the mood for bowling—you know how he gets ideas in his head sometimes.”

  Cam chuckled. “Uh-huh.” He glanced at Jaylene. “If Nick decides he wants to do something, it’s easier just to go along with it. Otherwise he’ll hound you until you give in.”

  “Right.” I smiled weakly, trying not to calculate exactly how many lies I’d told Cam by now. “But anyway, he just called my cell to say he has a flat tire and can’t make it after all. So I ducked inside for a few minutes to warm up before I head home.”

  “Oh, y’all don’t have to go home,” Jaylene said brightly. “Why don’t you join us? It’ll be fun!”

  On the one hand I was relieved, since getting invited to hang with them was the point of the whole plan. On the other hand, couldn’t Jaylene at least seem a teensy bit threatened at having Cam’s ex crash their date?

  “Well . . .” I pretended to think it over for a second. “Sure, I guess that would be fun. Thanks.”

  “Hey, check it out—Sexy Lexi’s here!”

  I spun around. “Bruce?” I blurted out in surprise. He was walking toward us from the direction of the snack bar, the usual cocky grin on his face and a plastic tray of nachos and sodas in his hands.

  “That’s right,” Jaylene told him. “Lexi’s going to join us.”

  “Cool.” Bruce dumped the food on the scoring table and brushed off his hands on his pants. “Now I won’t be a third wheel anymore. Or at least I’ll have a cute fourth wheel keeping me company.” He stepped closer and slung one arm around my shoulders, giving me a squeeze.

  I somehow managed not to punch him in the head in return. This was definitely not part of the plan. How was I supposed to work on Cam with Bruce drooling all over me?

  Still, it seemed too late to abort the mission now. So I trooped over to trade in my Skechers for a pair of smelly red, white, and blue bowling nerd shoes. And for the next hour, I pretended to have a good time while simultaneously fending off Bruce’s wandering hands and watching Jaylene giggle and bounce and kiss Cam on the forehead every three seconds and generally be exactly the kind of girl that I wasn’t. And yet Cam didn’t seem to mind, though I did catch him shooting me weird looks every so often, as if wondering what I was doing there. No wonder. I was wondering that myself.

  Still, I did my best to keep hope alive. I kept waiting for that magic moment when Jaylene and Bruce would both wander off to the restroom or the snack bar at
the same time, leaving me alone to wow Cam with my irresistible charm and wit.

  Finally, after one too many gutter balls, Bruce decided his bowling shoes were at fault and stomped off to the counter get a different pair. At the same time, Jaylene drained her soda cup.

  “Think Ah’ll get another pop,” she said.

  Cam immediately stood up. “I’ll go,” he offered.

  But she waved him off. “It’s okay, sweetie,” she said. “Ah can go mahself. Be right back!”

  She strolled off toward the snack bar. Cam glanced at me. He looked kind of uncomfortable. I knew how he felt. Being together used to be so easy, so natural. Now it was as if just hanging out with Cam had turned into the world’s hardest school assignment, a test I desperately needed to pass but hadn’t studied for nearly enough.

  “Um . . . I think it’s your turn, Lexi,” he said.

  Setting down my soda cup, I stood up and took a step toward the little ball-return thingy. The ball I’d been using all evening, a blue one with green swirls, was right at the front of the line. One of the extras, on the other hand, was sitting at the other end of the machine. It was a little smaller than mine, with gold speckles on a black background. I stared at it, realizing that if I went to grab it instead of the other one, it would force me to lean over Cam’s legs, which were sprawled out into the path as usual. My leg might brush against his. Or my hand might rest briefly on his knee to balance myself as I picked up the heavy ball. It was even possible that my thick, curly hair—the hair he’d always loved and complimented—would fall into his face. It would be easy to make it all happen. All I would have to do is reach for that other ball, claim that my old one was cramping my game, like Bruce with his shoes. Or that the old one was pinching my fingers. Or any other number of excuses. It would be so easy. . . .

  I knew what Allie would have advised. I knew what someone like Jaylene would have done as instinctively as she drew in a breath one second and blew it out the next.

  Somehow, though, I just couldn’t do it. After all the trickery I’d pulled, the lies I’d told, it just seemed like one step too far somehow. Call me stupid—I suspected even in that moment that my friends certainly would. But I just grabbed my regular ball and stepped up to the lane. My fingers were shaking a little as I shoved them into the holes.

  “Straight and steady, Lexi.” Cam leaned forward to watch me. “Don’t think about it—just do it.”

  That made me smile. It was just so . . . Cam.

  I glanced at him over my shoulder. “Remember who you’re talking to here,” I joked. “Since when does it ever work to tell me not to think?”

  He grinned. “Good point. Okay, so pretend it’s a trig problem or something then, and just throw the ball straight!”

  I laughed and threw the ball. It wobbled halfway down the lane, then rolled into the gutter.

  “Rats! So much for that trig scholarship to MIT,” I said.

  Cam laughed. I did too. And just like that, the awkwardness between us dissipated. For that moment, it was as if nothing had changed.

  Unfortunately, the moment only lasted, well, a moment. Then Bruce came stomping back, a satisfied look on his face and a pair of identical-looking bowling shoes on his feet.

  “You should have seen the soles of those things,” he announced, blasting into the seating area and grabbing for his ball. “No wonder I couldn’t anchor my throws! You guys had better look out now. . . .”

  My brief-lived moment of contentment flickered out. What had I been thinking? I’d just squandered my chance to rekindle things with Cam on stupid trigonometry jokes and actual, you know, bowling. It wouldn’t have taken some stupid flirty move like switching balls to make things happen. All I’d needed to do was talk to him. Remind him of what we’d had together. Maybe tell him I missed him.

  Promising myself I wouldn’t waste a second chance, I settled in to wait for it. But it never happened. Instead I eventually found myself alone in the bowling pod with Bruce while Cam was getting more drinks and Jaylene was powdering her nose.

  It was Bruce’s turn to bowl, but he stayed planted on the seat next to me. “So Lexi,” he began. “I meant to ask you at the lake yesterday, but I forgot when you decided to turn it into a swimming party.” He grinned and waggled his thin, pale eyebrows up and down. “How about we go out again sometime? The Ball’s coming up in a just couple weeks if you don’t have a date yet. . . .”

  “Oh. Um . . .” I shot a look at Cam to make sure he was out of hearing range. “I don’t know. I was sort of planning to just go with Nick and Allie. You know, Nick’s still kind of bummed about Rachel, and, well, you know.”

  “Aw, c’mon, beautiful.” He reached over and stroked my cheek. As if that was going to be a selling point, especially since his fingers reeked of Cheez Whiz and jalapeño peppers. “Just this once, I want to have a date lined up for the Ball before the Cam man does.”

  “You mean Cam isn’t going with Jaylene?” I tried to keep my voice casual, though it wasn’t easy.

  Bruce shrugged. “I dunno. Probably,” he said. “But as far as I know, he hasn’t asked her yet. Maybe he wants to keep his options open. I mean, the poor dude was tied down for a loooong time, you know.” Suddenly realizing what he’d just said, he grinned apologetically. “Hey, you know what I mean. No offense or whatever.”

  That made me feel much less uncomfortable about turning him down. “Now that you mention it, I feel the same way. So that’s definitely a thanks but no thanks on the Ball. No offense or whatever.”

  Cam and Jaylene both returned at that moment. “So whose turn is it?” Jaylene chirped. “Lexi? Aren’t you up next?”

  I stood up and checked my watch. “Actually, I think I’d better head out,” I said. “It’s been fun, but it is a school night, and I have a physics test tomorrow.”

  “Aw, you sure?” Jaylene actually looked disappointed. I wasn’t sure whether to be flattered or insulted.

  “We were only going to bowl one more frame anyway,” Cam put in.

  “Sorry.” I was already reaching for my coat. “You guys will just have to finish without me.”

  “So what kind of costume do you want to get?” I asked Allie as we stepped into the mall the next day after school.

  The place was busy for a weekday. Cheery holiday tunes poured out of every storefront, competing with each other and with the equally cheery holiday music playing constantly in the concourse. Hurried-looking shoppers went dashing from store to store or lined up at the coffee place to fuel up for more shopping.

  Allie smiled at a little kid racing past us toward the Santa pavilion in the fountain court. “Not sure,” she said. “Just something Christmassy and cute, I guess.”

  I realized she hadn’t been talking much lately about her goal to land herself a boyfriend before the Ball, though now that I thought about it, I wondered if it was a lingering hope that she’d be going as part of a couple that had made her wait so late to get herself a costume. But I kept quiet about that. Allie was a pretty chipper person in general, but the one topic that could get her bleak and gloomy like no other was her love life—or lack thereof. I didn’t want to bring her down by making her focus on her single status.

  Instead I returned to our previous topic of conversation. My love life. Or lack thereof.

  “So anyway,” I said as we strolled down the bustling mall concourse toward the costume shop, “the one interesting thing that came out of that disaster of a ‘double date’ at the bowling alley was this: Bruce mentioned that Cam hasn’t asked Jaylene to the Ball yet.”

  “Really?” Allie glanced over, brows lifted in surprise. “That is interesting. I wonder if he’s afraid she’ll say no if he asks her too soon. I came up with a theory about that once—it’s called the Delayed Date Theory. It helps explain why guys are so lame about stuff like asking girls to the prom before the last possible second.”

  We turned the corner and immediately had to dodge an empty baby stroller being pushed kamikaze-style d
own the mall by a wild-eyed toddler. Barely escaping with our kneecaps intact, we hurried down the concourse and ducked into the costume shop. The song selection there was a jazzy instrumental version of “Deck the Halls.” Or “Deck the Malls,” as Cam had always jokingly sang it to me whenever we’d heard it under similar circumstances.

  “But never mind that,” Allie continued. “What we need right now is to get back to the More Than Friends Theory. Just because it didn’t work out on the first try doesn’t mean you should give up.”

  “I don’t know, Allie.” I stepped over to the closest rack and started flipping absent-mindedly through the costumes. I’d been pondering the whole Cam situation all day, with only a brief break to focus on and pass my physics test. “I’m starting to wonder if maybe I’m trying too hard.”

  Allie was pawing through the costumes too. “Wow, the pickings are pretty slim here. I guess most people already have their costumes. Hey, but this one is cute.” She grabbed a sparkly white Christmas Angel costume and held it up. “Come on, I want to try it on. You can come with me and explain exactly what the heck you’re talking about with the ‘trying too hard’ stuff.”

  We headed toward the dressing rooms at the back of the store. “I just wonder if I’m panicking for nothing, that’s all,” I said as we pushed our way between two racks of Santa suits. “I mean, Cam can’t really be happy with someone like Jaylene long-term, can he? What if I just wait it out? After all, if he hasn’t even asked her to the Ball yet, maybe he’s only with her because he thinks that’s what I want.”

  “What?” Allie looked alarmed. “Lexi, no! Think about what you’re saying here. I mean, maybe you’re right. But he’s too special a guy to take that kind of chance. If you let that blond little Southern-fried—”

  She let out an audible gulp as we rounded the corner into the dressing-room aisle. For a second I thought she’d stepped on a pin or something.

  Then I saw what she’d seen. Or rather who she’d seen.

  “Well, hi there!” Jaylene exclaimed, her face brightening as she spotted us. She was standing in front of the big full-length mirror on the wall opposite the individual dressing room stalls. “Y’all are just in time to give me your opinion. What do y’all think of this outfit?”